How To Do Inner Work | Adventures In Getting Unstuck

On wanting to do a thing, but not doing the thing

On wanting to do thing, but not doing the thing

I want to do 11 simple tasks.

So why am I not doing them?

I just don't want to

Ummm no, I know you DO want to.

I do want it done. I don't want to do it.

Don't you want it done MORE THAN you want to not do it?

No, obviously. Or else we wouldn't be here.

Right.

I don't want to do it. End of discussion.

No, actually, that's the beginning of the discussion.

Heavy, dramatic sigh.

This is the work. We know this. We've got to keep showing up, and our next steps for showing up are doing these 11 things.

ARGGGGGH!

Yeah, you can feel that way about it, that's valid. But I am REALLY curious WHY you feel that way about these particular tasks.

[draws a blank]

It's interesting, isn't it? Because these tasks are actually enjoyable. So I don't think it's true that you LITERALLY don't want to do them. I think you want to do the task AND ALSO there is something about COMPLETING these tasks that you are resisting.

Ugggghhhhhh.

Yeah, that's how it feels, to shine a light on resistance.

My back and shoulders are all stiff now. Can we just have lunch?

We can have lunch right way, but before lunch we have to work this out. We can't keep avoiding these tasks all day.

I think we can.

And then what?

Then the whole project gets delayed.

Oh, so you don't want to do the project.

I mean I want it to happen, I just don't want to be the one doing it.

That is a FASCINATING attitude to have about your own creative work. Who else would do it?

I just want to be done, I don't want to be doing.

Is that even true? Feels like a "resistance trying to make things more complicated than they are and saying ridiculous things to do so" kind of vibe.

No, of course it's not true. Of course I like to do this task, and I want to do it, and I'm just terrified that this will flop.

There it is. Can we deal with the terror? I really don't want to circle around it all day in avoidance, I want to just get this done.

OK. I am terrified of doing my best, and it being a flop and that meaning that I AM a flop and then then not having any options for what to do next. This is a sharp, painful sensation in my chest.

Let's offer it some light, healing, love, patience, validity and acceptance.

[we do this... the sharp sensation turns to candy floss]

And now?

I still feel like there are a ton of excuses to not do this, I can just juggle them all day.

OR

I can start doing these 11 tasks.

And then a lightbulb went off in my mind.

I was starting with the most logical one to start with, which is the one I am stuck with. How about starting with the easiest one to do?

Oh, sure, I can do that.

✨✨✨✨✨

These are notes from the Un-Sticking Station in my Dream Book from a few days ago.

Since then, I finished those 11 tasks which meant I could start the Goodbye 2021 Hello 2022 Journaling EXTRAVAGANZA on time, yesterday.

This is the inner work that makes the outer work possible. Dream Book offers the support to keep showing up, and keep doing this work consistently enough to get the momentum you need with your dreams.

Join us here.

When Life Is In The Way And You Can’t Even

Plan your week from your ✨MOST✨ wise, brave, and creative self.... even when Life Is In The Way And You Can't Even

Creative Genius Planning Sessions are about doing your weekly planning from your most wise, brave and creative self. You get to your next level with your dreams by being your next-level self, doing next-level things.

Do them with me every Monday and you'll AMAZE yourself.

There is a 15 minute Basic Creative Genius Planning Session right here (meditation + journaling class) for planning your amazing week.

AND I am creating a full "expansion pack" of extra videos that address specific situations that you’ll come up against with your planning. I’m sharing a new one, with a new theme, each week.

This week we're looking at how to approach your planning when life is in the way and you can't even:

If you're in Dream Book - watch this on our private blog, with a link to the Making Your Trust In Your Dream Bigger Than Your Fear Alchemy Practice - plus a private comment section for sharing your goals for the week, asking questions and getting extra support.

If you're not in Dream Book - if you like the Creative Genius Planning Sessions you will LOVE Dream Book.

Check it out here.

I want To Meditate ✨and✨ I Don’t Want To Meditate

Andrea Rainbow Eyeshadow

A conversation between:

I want To Meditate

and

I Don't Want To Meditate (in italics)

So, I want to meditate. Like, I really want to meditate. I want to enjoy that feeling of meditation and then also have that spaciousness in my day that comes from meditation.

I want to just check my phone.

Check it for what? You already checked it.

Check it for what's new.

Nothing is new. It's 5 am. You already checked it. This is meditation time.

I just can't. I'd rather check an already-checked phone.

Can you tell me why?

Just so I can avoid everything?

Really? How so? How does not meditating avoid everything?

It's not just meditating I want to avoid. I want to avoid everything.

Oh.

Like - fuck! There's too much happening.

Well, so much of it is good stuff though. Stuff that is happening because I put it into motion because I want to do it and now you feel overwhelmed by it?

Oh.

Yeah. And if I could meditate for longer, then I'd have more of that mental clarity and just, that energy I need to do these things I want to do. This "avoiding meditation" makes everything else harder so then you just end up with more things you want to avoid.

You mean avoiding is not helping?

No, definitely not.

I thought it was helping. I thought avoiding was like taking a break.

No, taking a break is taking a break. And I don't think taking a break from meditation is really what you want. What do you want to take a break from?

Overwhelm.

Well, meditation is really a perfect break from overwhelm.

Well....

So.... can we try again?

🧘🏻‍♀️

Update: yup. We did it. Meditated for 30 minutes.

Creative Genius Planning Session For Those Weeks When You Have Obstacles In Your Way

Creative Genius Planning Sessions are about doing your weekly planning from your most wise, brave and creative self. You get to your next level with your dreams by being your next-level self, doing next-level things.

Do them with me every Monday and you'll AMAZE yourself.

There is a 15 minute Basic Creative Genius Planning Session right here (meditation + journaling class) for planning your amazing week.

AND I am creating a full "expansion pack" of extra videos that address specific situations that you’ll come up against with your planning. I’m sharing a new one, with a new theme, each week.

This week we're looking at how to approach your planning when you've got OBSTACLES.

Having an obstacle is just a part of having a dream. You can't just get stuck every time you have an obstacle, you NEED a way of facing the obstacles head on, and working through them.

So that's what we'll work with in this week's Creative Planning Sessions Video:

 

If you're in Dream Book - watch this on our private blog, with a link to The Obstacle Is The Way Through Alchemy Practice - plus a private comment section for sharing your goals for the week, asking questions and getting extra support.

If you're not in Dream Book - if you like the Creative Genius Planning Sessions you will LOVE Dream Book.

Check it out here.

I feel like have been going in circles with my dreams.

I feel like I've been going in circles with my dreams

I feel like have been going in circles with my dreams.

I want to do _____ but I'm stuck about where to start.

I am inspired to ____ but I can't start today of course, I'm so overwhelmed.

I would love to______ some day when I have more energy.

It's all these signs of burnout.

All year, I've been bringing these questions to my therapist that center around the idea: how do I go back to how I WAS?

I want to be more resilient. I want to have the energy and ease and creative flow and enthusiasm and confidence that I had 2 years ago.

My therapist has yet to offer a magic pill about that.

She moves the conversation towards "how do I accept that I am where I am, and what do I need to take good care of myself here?"

But I haven't wanted to be here.

When you can't be where you are, you can't move forward either.

I don't need my therapist to tell me that, that's something I have said to almost event client in the last 12 years. The trick to dreams is being present where you are AND being present with the dream. Being the portal.

I don't have the energy to portal.

But I still dream.

And this has kept me in a hampster wheel.

But you know what?

This feels right.

This feels like the right way to respond to what's happening in the world.

Nothing can grow always forever. There are times of rest and falling apart. And decomposition even.

Compost for future dreams.

I am swimming in compost.

And actually, if I'm being honest, I do have more energy, clarity and enthusiasm than I did 6 months ago.

It's just that - inspiration and vision don't take a break.

My dreams speak to me as clear as ever but my ability to respond is not what it was.

Almost 2 years of being caught between these two things is very frustrating.

Naming it helps.

I don't want to disconnect from my dream. I want to keep holding it, and moving towards it at the pace that works for where I am right now.

And I want to remember that this part of creative dreaming is ALWAYS frustrating because we NEVER move as fast as our dreams.

But right now, it's especially frustrating.

Which actually presents an opportunity.

This frustration, the way it rubs you the wrong way, the stuff it triggers - being ESPECIALLY frustrating means you get ESPECIALLY triggered which means you have an ESPECIALLY clear view into the deeper stuff in you that needs healing in order to be able to get to your dream.

It sucks, but it's true.

For me this means spending more time in the Un-Sticking Station (in Dream Book).

Which is giving me all new insights about those shadowy places where I hold myself back while convincing myself that I am doing everything I can.

Which is helping me clear some inner stuff that I didn't even know I had a few years ago.

Which means... I AM swimming in compost. And planting new seeds everywhere in this exceptional soil.

So much is possible from this place, even when so little is happening on the surface.

Creative Genius Planning Session For Those Weeks When You Have Two Things Competing For Your Attention

Creative Genius Planning Sessions are about doing your weekly planning from your most wise, brave and creative self. You get to your next level with your dreams by being your next-level self, doing next-level things.

There is a 15 minute Creative Genius Planning Session right here (meditation + journaling class) for planning your amazing week.

AND I am creating a full "expansion pack" of extra videos that address specific situations that you’ll come up against with your planning. I’m sharing a new one, with a new theme, each week.

This week we're exploring how to approach this when you've got two things competing for your attention.

Often it's your dream and your job that compete.

Sometimes it's two different dreams or two different creative projects.

There's lots of different ways this happens, and that competing thing can make it harder to focus on anything and get your stuff done!

So that's what we'll work with in this week's Creative Planning Sessions Video:

 

If you're in Dream Book - watch this on our private blog, with a private comment section for sharing your goals for the week, asking questions and getting extra support.

If you're not in Dream Book - if you like the Creative Genius Planning Sessions you will LOVE Dream Book.

Check it out here.

How to move beyond spiritual bypass and lean into your true power to heal and create – and why you want to. (With journal prompts!)

How to move beyond spiritual bypass and lean into your true power to heal and create - and why you want to. (With journal prompts!)

About my post from last week on how Love & Light are used as New Age gaslighting....

Being uncomfortable about other people having human feelings is generally a sign that we are not allowing OURSELVES to have our feelings.

And it's not a crime. It doesn't make you a bad person.

But it does make it harder for you to heal, grow, and create more of what you want in your life.

If does make it harder for you to be the change you want to see in the world.

Because everything you avoid has power over you. Everything you face strengthens you.

We are powerful! We are healers and artists and world-changers.

We can look hard things in the eye BECAUSE we believe in our power to do better.

BUT the New Age/Wellness/Live Your Best Life culture is RIFE with spiritual by-pass.

PLUS it's human nature to want to avoid discomfort.

If you think of a spectrum between:

[full on facing everything like a boss, healing and growing through very little obstacle in your way]

and

[#goodvibesonly I won't acknowledge anything negative and will even shame others for "being negative"]

recognize that we move around on this spectrum all the time.

Self awareness helps!

Reflecting on your own tendencies to bypass helps you be more aware of when and how and why you do this, so you can make more empowered choices.

So here we go...

The journal prompts. How do you know if you are really healing the thing or attempting to spiritual bypass the thing?

 

What happens when a life event knocks you down and you're right up against the thing again (the thing you thought you'd healed)?

Has it changed at all? Or are you up against the exact same thing?

We talk a lot about the healing path being a spiral. But is it?

Are you really seeing your issue in a new light?

Or are you just coming back up against this thing because you haven't actually dealt with it?

Are you sure?

What makes you sure?

If something has changed about how you are engaging with this thing: what is it, specifically?

Are you reacting in the same way that you used to? Don't focus on how you feel, it's easy to "feel like" you're seeing this from a more evolved place. Look at your behaviour. How has it changed?

Spiritual bypass keeps things VERY vague and a LOT can hide in vagueness. So get specific.

You are drawing from your true power to heal and create when you can be specific and clear and un-flinching. Especially when you're dealing with the things you really struggle with.

If you've been using spiritual by-pass as a tool, it will be VERY uncomfortable to lean into your true power instead. You will try to stay vague to get out of the discomfort of facing the thing you don't want to face.

Take the discomfort as a good sign.

And stay with it.

Remember that there is a POWER in being able to face the hard stuff head on, including BEING WITH the feelings that it brings up.

This is the inner work.

It's in processing your feelings about the obstacles where you find the fuel that will help you get beyond the obstacle.

You find your power.

You find whole new ways of seeing the thing, which give you a plethora of new options for how to handle it. You tap into your INFINITE source of creativity which can generate INFINITE solutions.

Because everything you avoid has power over you. Everything you face strengthens you.

I think it's just obvious that your healing and growth tools should STRENGTHEN you.

Which means they won't necessarily make you feel better right in the moment.

Which is why the New Age/Wellness/Live Your Best Life Industry is so FULL of tools that rely on spiritual by-pass.

Which gets confusing.

This is how I handle it:

Inner Work is uncomfortable.

Working with your dream feels good. It's creative and hopeful and casts a bright light.

So the trick is to COMBINE this Inner Work with the Dream Work. And then combine both with the Outer Work of pursuing your creative projects and making changes in your life.

That way it's not just you and your discomfort - you're bringing in light and healing and magic and creativity and possibility to the process.

You are seeing - AND USING - the benefits of the Inner Work right away. This makes it easier to KEEP GOING.

This is the work that will grow your dreams, but it's also what will save us all.

A Double-Epiphany Conversation With My Stuck

I woke up feeling stuck but I did manage to get myself dressed, and on my bike, and to a favourite bakery/coffee shop which is where I am now, enjoying amazing coffee and the creamiest quiche tart in the world.

Still, I feel stuck.

So, stuck, can we talk?

😩 Argh. Ugh. I don't know. I guess. Remember when you rode your bike past that house and could hear a man screaming "FUCK" over and over and you were kind of scared? I kind of relate to him. Like I want to yell and scream and throw my feelings all over everyone else so I don't have to deal with them.

Yeah, I can see that. But you know that he DOES have to deal with them, eventually, and he's just making a bigger mess for himself and everyone around him, right?

😩 But it would be so satisfying in the moment.

Ok yeah. I hear you. I guess I am just always thinking of my future self and how to make life better for her so I don't want to go around making huge messes.

😩 And I want to make some messes. I want to not care.

That's valid. What kind of mess do you have in mind?

😩 Oh I don't want to MAKE a mess. I just want to know I can.

Oh, I hear you. That's important - to know you can express yourself however you want to. I'm sorry, dd I make you feel like you can't do that today?

😩 You did, when I was all "I'm tired and stuck and don't want to do anything!" and you insisted we get dressed and come here. I mean you were right, I am happier here, and I am glad we got the blood moving with a bike ride. But I also want you to acknowledge how I was feeling.

Well, yeah that's why I am in this conversation.

😩 Oh! Right. It's like I am so used to feeling like nobody cares that I don't notice when someone is trying to care.

I do care. I care about you, my stuck, just as much as I care about my future self.

😩 Oh. Whoa. I never thought of it that way.

Well it's true. So what do you need today?

😩 To acknowledge that you made some big decisions this week. Like sometimes you decide something and move on it SO FAST and I just feel lost.

(Sitting and breathing for a few minutes, focusing on how this feels in my body)

Do you feel that? That faster moving and heart-more-open energy flowing in my body right now?

😩 Yes.

That's what is fuelling this decision. It's ALIGNMENT, it's not "moving fast". I've been working on this stuff a long time, and when the next level snapped into alignment for me, I knew what needed to shift. Once I have that clarity and alignment it's really hard to NOT act on it, because then I know I am OUT of alignment. But I see how it can feel too fast for you. What can I do to help you with that?

😩 It helps to hear that it's about alignment and not about just making a fast decision and acting on it immediately. It felt like you didn't take time to think about it, and that's a bit scary to me.

OK this is FASCINATING. Because you started this conversation talking about the man who was just SCREAMING swearing angry so loud I could hear him just riding my bike past his house. And you felt like you wished you could express yourself that freely.... but when I express myself that freely - via taking immediate action when I feel that deep down in my heart and soul alignment - you want us to stop and get stuck.

😩 WHOA. I didn't see that. It's true. You are expressing yourself VIVIDLY by taking action on your inner inspiration and I was wanting to shut you down.

You didn't feel safe.

😩 No. But then I was jealous of the man who felt he could just be a big asshole with his feelings... so LOUDLY!

You wanted to feel.... what is it, entitled?... to express your feelings.

Just sitting with this. Feeling the stuck and bad mood dissolving.

Getting un-stick by validating all feelings and letting myself BE exactly where I AM is one of my favourite things to do, and I share LOTS of different ways to do it (with guided meditations and journaling sheets) inside Dream Book. I'll even show you how to create an entire "Un-Sticking Station in your journal.

Join us here

I don’t want to do any of this.

I am working on the new DREAM SPREE!!! project.

I have a few hours in my schedule to work on implementing some of the amazing ideas I've gotten....

And....

I'm just sitting here.

Why am I not doing this?

My mind tries to grasp at multiple excuses, can't get a firm grip on any of them, and just freezes.

I don't know.

And I hear "I just don't want to do any of this"

This is soooo common.

I've coached so many people through the process of getting CLEAR on the HOW and making time and space and then that magical day comes when it's time to get work....

And they don't.

They don't get to work. They don't know why. And they say something along the lines of "I don't think I really want to do this"

And I ask "Well what would you like to do"

And they talk about going back to the drawing board, coming up with a new plan for a new dream.

They're lying to themselves. Just like I'm lying to myself right now.

It seems really weird that when we get to that moment when we have both a plan and a the time/resources to implement that plan, that THIS is when we get stuck.

In a sense, this is the EASIEST PART! It's the part where we get to finally DO the thing!!

But in reality, this is one of the HARDEST parts.

This part is VULNERABLE AF and so this is where your inner stuff will throw the biggest possible hissy fit to get you off track so you don't have to feel the discomfort of ACTUALLY FOR REAL STARTING.

I just added a video about this to our Library of Creative Dream Alchemy Videos.

I recorded the process of how I worked through this, and added it to the library of Creative Dream Alchemy processes.

So that the next time you're in this situation, you can work through it with me.

It is SO MUCH BETTER to not do this alone. Alone - your inner critic can hold you back forever while having you believe you have no other options. In Dream Book - we'll get you taking steps TODAY.

Dream Book members: the video is here

In a meditation last week, I saw how my own relationship with my inner power got thrown this last year and a half.

power meditation

In this meditation I saw how my inner relationship with my power could use some work, to bring it back into alignment.

I saw how this will make EVERYTHING easier: like meeting my business goals for this year and putting my new guided journals out there, but also just having a fun life outside of work too.

Our world is profoundly messed up when it comes to power.

It feels like our power gets taken from us by these huge systems we live in, like capitalism, white supremacy, the patriarchy, and also in smaller ways all the time.

Like we don't have the power to CHOOSE who and how we want to be.

And sometimes we really DON'T.

And sometimes we really DO, but we don't see it.

Calling your power back is about being more powerful in how you show up for yourself.

This makes it easier to live your outer life in alignment with your inner truth.

I originally did The Superpower Creative Journal Class in 2014, and in that meditation the other day I was given the message to do it again.

I was shown how I need this POWER-UP for myself so I can meet my goals for the rest of 2021.

So I decided to do it as a group thing, because I am sure I am not the only one who needs this right now.

The Superpower Journal Class is a deep-dive energy healing of your relationship with power. With creative play and glitter markers.

It's an energy-shifting healing circle, with a guided journal full of processes to help you HOLD ON to that shift, and bring it into how you life your life.

 

It's happening August 24 at 1:00 pm  Central, North America.

To find out what time this is in your time zone, use this link. Enter the above date + time and for location choose Canada: Manitoba: Winnipeg. Then, under place to convert to - put your location.

Included in the class: 90 minute live Zoom class + the recording, 28 page printable guided journal and mandala colouring book.

Here's what you'll need:

  • 90 minutes to listen the class or attend live (you may want more time to keep journaling afterwards, or you can come back to it another day)
  • Computer/phone/tablet with internet connection to listen the audio class
  • Printed copy of the Superpower Journal Playbook (or you can keep it on your computer/phone/tablet and do the journaling in your favourite journal)
  • TOTALLY OPTIONAL: Art supplies for getting creative with your journaling - use whatever you like, all you really need is a pen and paper.

The Superpower Creative Journal is only open to members of Dream Book.

You can join us for this class (which is worth way more than the monthly subscription cost of Dream Book) and totally ignore everything else - or you can use this as a change to check out Dream Book and see if it's right for you.

If you've got some dreams and goals to catch up on before the end of the year. Dream Book will help.

Your Next Steps: A journaling + meditation class to help you be more CLEAR and SURE of your next steps