This is from the Creative Dream Circle Policies & Guidelines, but I thought it would be helpful to share it out here, too.
Sometimes in life things happen that we don’t like!? Sometimes these things make us mad and frustrated and sad and, worst of all, they make us feel powerless.
You’re not powerless, ever.? You’re a creative genius.
Understanding a few things about owning your emotional reactions can help keep you from feeling (and acting!) powerless.
There is no “one way” or “right way” to react to things.? A rogue volleyball may hit 2 different people in the face – one will laugh and walk away, the other will get angry and punch the thrower of the ball.? We’re all different.
How you react is not WRONG.? Ever.? Whatever you are feeling is legitimate.? How you react may be totally out of proportion to the thing that happened.? Still, you’re not wrong to feel how you feel.? The thing that happened triggered some other emotional reaction in you and small events can trigger BIG emotions.? Whatever you are feeling is legitimate.? Always.
But how you react is YOUR stuff.? It’s not about the person who did the thing that you are reacting to, it’s about what’s going on inside of you.
And what you do with your reaction is your responsibility.? Just because someone else did something that hurt you does not give you free reign to hurt others.? Being a jerk is being a jerk no matter how justified you feel in the moment.
Being a jerk about it is what happens when you are NOT owning your reaction.
If you’re reading this blog you are not likely the kind of person who enjoys hurting other people’s feelings.
While it may feel satisfying for just a split second to throw that barb at them, it’s not going to change how you feel PLUS you’re not going to feel great about how you handled it.
So now, on top of feeling the ick that you were feeling in the first place, you’re also feel shame about what you did.? And you can’t do anything to fix it because you’re not responsible – this jerk did this thing TO you.
Not a happy and empowered place to be.
When you own your reaction, you hold your power.
Usually, when we’re triggered by something and get upset, we just want the upset to GO AWAY, NOW and we try to get rid of it by blaming someone else for it.
Maybe that seems logical in some way.? But it doesn’t work.?
What works is to OWN your emotional reaction.
This doesn’t mean you are responsible for the event that happened.
This doesn’t mean that someone else didn’t make a mistake.
This doesn’t mean that you forgive them or agree with them or ever want to be in the same room as them again.
All it means is that you take responsibility for how you’re feeling right now.? And then you can take responsibility for changing how you’re feeling right now.
If you’re a member of the Creative Dream Circle – do this in the Un-Sticking Station.
You’ll be lovingly guided through a creative, soulful, empowered way to meet and transform uncomfortable feelings and get back into a happy and empowered state of being.
And do this as quickly as possible – the less time you spend stewing in the icks the better!
Other people can not and do not decide how you’re going to feel.
Only you can do that.? But only if you take responsibility for what’s going on inside you.
This goes for EVERY feeling you have.
The more sure and righteous you feel about how your feeling is someone else’s fault, the more urgent it is that you take responsibility for it.
There is good news here!
When you take responsibility for your reaction and do the healing work around whatever it is in you that got triggered – you’re not going to keep getting triggered!
When someone says “You’re a horrible person” the part of you that worries that this is true, or the part of you that neeeeeds external validation and approval will FREAK THE HECK OUT.
THAT is where your emotional reaction comes from – that stuff that is happening inside of you, not from the meanie who said the thing.
When you heal those frightened inner voices who worry about what others think then you stop caring what others think.
Then when someone says “You’re a horrible person” your reaction is “Hmmm, what a weird thing to say!” or “Gosh, this person must be in pain to be acting like such a jerk” or maybe you’ll laugh at the ridiculousness of that statement.
Getting triggered is a gift.
It shows you where you are carrying stories that are in need of healing.
Doing the inner work of dealing with the trigger steer you back into the center of your creative power.
I know the thought of sitting with that feeling is terrifying.
But the art of owning & transforming it is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
You don’t need to do it alone.
If you join the Creative Dream Circle you’ll get so many tools that help you transform your inner world – with creativity and heart and soul.? You can PLAY your way into healing.