This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I trust my magic.

HOLY CRAP this is exactly the mantra I needed.

I've also been using "I am a powerful witch"

This keeps coming up on our calls lately and I am feeling it in my practice - the need to dig in deeper to the Dream Work, to help counteract how hard Inner Work and Outer Work are right now.

I've been journaling more lately, and one thing I am doing is just writing out all the things I want, like affirmations. "I am now open to receive...." "I feel powerful enough to ...."  "I know I am ready to..." things like that.

Throughout the day I remind myself… I trust my magic. I am a powerful witch.

It’s helping.

We do need to remind ourselves of who the fuck we ARE sometimes.

As I keep sharing on our calls - all the ways that dominant culture fail us has been on my mind a lot.

Not that I want to sit around pointing fingers and not taking responsibility for my own life, but because I see the impacts every day, on all of us.

As I connect with my new dreams for the second half of my life, I have this growing feeling about how we all deserve better.

Life is sacred. It’s a gift.

Our culture degrades this gift in the name of greed.

None of this is new.

But it all feels more urgent to me.

I TRUST MY MAGIC has been helping me NOT feel helpless in the face of the state of the world, and instead look for ways to be a part of the future I want.

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

This is the mantra I got in this week’s journaling + alchemy kit: I am moving in the right direction.

DIRECTION is SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT than speed! And yet we all get discouraged at how long things can take.

I started weightlifting (again) in December. Between the holiday season in December and then January hitting kind of hard - I took about a month off and started back at it late in January.

But this week I’ve been noticing my shoulders, arms and legs are starting to look different.

And it’s like “what?! I’ve barely done anything!” I am only even aiming to go twice a week, which means some weeks I only go once. I’m not trying to do body building, I’m just trying to counteract the loss of muscle that happens at this age, because getting those muscles back helps my energy and mental health so much.

So I am taking tiny steps but I AM MOVING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

And as long as I keep taking tiny steps - they do add up and move me towards where I want to be.

AND

Nothing is guaranteed, in terms of outer outcomes, of course!

But - how does it feel to say to yourself “I am moving in the right direction”?

And there some places where this is uncomfortable?

What are those places telling you?

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

This is the mantra I got in this week’s journaling + alchemy kit: My creative genius is bigger than the obstacles.

This is one of the few mantras that I believe is true for everyone.

We don't have to pretend we don't have obstacles or ignore our actual feelings about them. Obstacles are scary! And frustrating! They can make us ANGRY.

AND we can be brave enough to FACE and CHANGE to obstacles, and our creative genius (our inner creativity, wisdom, power, courage and authentic way of being) can absolutely help us do this.

But the point of the weekly mantras isn't to learn a specific thing, it's to explore your own reactions.

Each time I do these kits, I get a different reaction.

This week it's ANGER.

And a bit of surprise about how angry I am.

I feel angry about how much of the new age/holistic healing/life your best life industry is (still!) DISempowering people when it comes to this.

I feel angry that people are STILL preaching this idea that we should just "rise above", good vibes only, change your thoughts to change your life... instead of cultivating the courage to just fucking FACE the hard parts.

Because we are SO powerful when we stop avoiding and start BEING WITH.

Because I 100% believe that each one of us is bigger than the obstacles. So there is no need to spiritual by-pass or learn hard, heavy and unconsciously into privilege as a manifesting technique.

So, I feel angry about this because I see so many people being led down paths that won't bring them what they want.

But the biggest anger is about much this approach to Living Your Best Life focused on individual gain while leaving the oppressive systems we live inside unchecked and as powerful as ever. The ways the colonization of Indigenous spirituality continues to do harm.

And, as I have started to reflect more on my life because I'm in this big season of change AND facing the start of my 50s and feeling surprisingly unprepared for a whole new decade, I actually feel a lot of regret for the times I spent in these communities.

Regret is a hard one for me.

And it can easily make me angry and then reactionary and I'm trying to not go that way with it.

I'm trying to sit with it and find out more about what this is calling me to do.

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

This is an old photo of my old workspace, but the creative mess really matched how I am feeling.

It’s a sleepy morning. I open my journal and feel wildly grateful for the Dream Book journaling kit because I have some structure and a helpful question to start with, instead of a blank page.

This is so good!

Two minutes later I am on my phone, googling tinted moisturizers.

It’s partly resistance.

But another part is that I am trying to have a specific kind of day, doing a specific kind of work, and that’s just not where my energy is at. I’m trying to get myself to where I want to be, rather than be where I am.

Monday mornings I want to (?) (should?) do planning and strategizing and I am really not feeling it. Especially after a weekend of relaxing, a slower start would make more sense. Like - unfocused creative work. Journaling, writing, or working on artwork that is already planned.

If you are a regular reader then you know - this is not a new dynamic for me!

And I SOLVED this dynamic by moving my weekly planning to Friday.

And it took a few weeks for me to really get into it, but once I got to a place where I was consistently planning on Fridays everything was working better.

And now here we are, back at stage one. Arriving at Monday morning with no plan and no head for planning. So of course I’d rather just google tinted moisturizers than figure out how I am going to do the things I want to do.

I don’t share these things for sympathy.

I honestly don’t want sympathy or empathy or anything.

This is just my process. I’m fine with it.

I share these things to say: THIS IS WHAT THE PROCESS LOOKS LIKE.

I am a person who has successfully supported herself with her creative dreams for the last 13 years.

And this is what that looks like some days.

This is completely natural and ok and I am still going to get to where I want to be. Maybe I won’t get there today, but that’s fine.

We have this sense that if we can’t get our shit together and keep it together when we’ll never succeed with anything.

But this is just not true.

I can know better and NOT do better. And I can just keep showing up and working on it.

The process is messy.

And I am well aware that I could be more organized about how I run my business.

I could run it like an actual business, lol.

But I’m a mentor, writer and artist. I’m really good at these things and I also - these are the things I want to do.

I don’t want to be a CEO. I don’t want to set up a whole business that has so much structure that I always know what to do on any given day because it’s been planned out months in advance.

My definition of success includes space to flounder.

A lot of growth and new ideas come from the floundering.

And it feels so important to me lately that we ACCEPT and CHERISH and HONOUR our process as it is.

That little voice that is always criticizing my way of doing things (”You aren’t organized enough!” “You’re too slow!”) has been getting quieter. The internalized rules about “how things should be done” feel less relevant than they ever have.

I love this.

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

This is the mantra I got in this week’s journaling + alchemy kit: It’s easy for me to have what I want.

This is a hard one!

In the message I send out with this one I talk about how much this one has PUSHED me.

Remembering that with these mantras we are never trying to force ourselves to feel a certain way or pretend to have a belief we don’t genuinely have. We are exploring, learning more about ourselves and how to bring ourselves more of what we want and need.

It’s easy for me to have what I want. I mean it would be amazing to feel this way all the time.

And we have to recognize that, in the culture we live in with intersecting systems of privilege and oppression, the more intersections of privilege you have the easier this one is to believe because invisible systems really are making it easier for you to get what you want.

So if this one feels really hard for you, that’s not necessarily on you.

Recognizing where dominant culture makes it harder for you to receive what you want is not “playing the victim” or “being negative” - it’s having clear sight.

And with clear sight you can see the path much better.

AND of course we might have places in us that believe that it's "just too hard" to go after the things we really want, and it's our work to detangle those beliefs.

So this is a tricky one.

One question it brings up is - how do we open up more space for receptivity?

I did a receptivity call last year - the replay is very helpful! I do a mini version of that practice most mornings before I get out of bed. We can practice and learn to BECOME more receptive, we’re not just stuck where we are with it.

What do you think?

When do you feel like it’s easy for you to receive what you want?

And when DON’T you?

And what could you do about that?

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Being optimistic enough to have a dream and go after it is brutal some days.

Your dream will break your heart.

It will ask you to be braver than you think you can be.

It will push you to face all the things you’d rather avoid.

It will ask you to keep going when you want to give up.

The days where it all feels impossible are not the days when you’re failing.

Those are times of healing, reckoning and growth.

This is the work.

As we get this new year started, there can be pressure to already know your goals and plans for the year. To already be on the way to SUCCESS!

But maybe that’s not the season you’re in.

Dominant culture expects us to always be on, always be productive.

Most healing and personal development are expecting you to be a constant upward trajectory, manifesting everything your heart’s desires, 24/7.

THIS IS ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT.

I just want you (and me!) to recognize how brave you are for having a dream.

For seeing a way of creating a better future, and believing in it.

For showing up, and taking the little steps.

This is magic.

And a part of making any dream happen is being with all of the stuff that comes up when your dream does break your heart.

Sitting with it. Feeling your feelings. Tending to the tender places.

This work is ongoing.

It’s so easy to feel like “Oh I’ve dealt with that” or “I should be further along at this point” but the work is ongoing.

The other day my therapist asked me “Do you think you’ll be DONE some day? Like, no more feelings? No more learning or growing? Are you trying to figure EVERYTHING out RIGHT NOW?”

Yikes.

It’s so easy to forget that this work is ongoing.

Most of the people I work with in Dream Book have been doing this work for decades. Lots of them are healers, coaches, therapists and mentors. They are so smart! They have great tools! They help other people overcome huge stuff every day and… their own work is ongoing.

Just like my work is ongoing.

This will be discouraging at times but please don’t give up.

The work is ongoing.

Your dream is how your soul calls you toward your true self and this is a life-long journey.

Dream Book members: if this work feels fucking brutal for you right now - remember the Creative Dream Alchemy Library of Inner Work Practices!

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.