Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!
My Dream Status Report for this week:
PART ONE:
My dream is: I want to get an RV or camper van and travel… WITH MY CAT BEAR!!!! Create a comfy cozy home on wheels, and write + make art on the road while we have adventures. AND... I have a new creative dream which I am still not ready to talk bout.
I want it because: It feels so sweet and makes me happy. And the new dream, which is more about art I want to make, feels like it will expand and energize my whole life.
When I have it I will feel: I think I will feel so happy, free and thrilled with my life.
PART TWO:
Invite the soul of your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
My dream shows up as a field of flowers in outer space with stars and nebulas (?) It feels like allowing the ALIVENESS and magic and mystery of life.
I had a really stressful week with a loved one having surgery, which triggered a lot of stress from when my step-son was in the hospital for so long, and kept having life-threatening complications. I'm so grateful the surgery yesterday didn't have complications and my loved one is at home recovering. But still, it brought up A LOT of stress and my body still needs more time to process and release.
Remembering this ALIVENESS and magic and mystery feels good.
PART THREE:
Last week’s focus was: Take my next steps and keep taking them. Listen to myself about what I need from moment to moment.
What happened in the last week? As I said, a very stressful week. I did focus on listening to myself about what I need from moment to moment. My anxiety was REALLY high and I did a good job of taking care of myself. I did not take as many steps with my projects as I'd hoped.
But I did finish the new page for the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership! I set up the Friday coaching calls, which start next week. I took good steps!
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
I feel tired. Still anxious. Still feeling frustrated that I can't always feel exactly how I want to feel!
AND accepting my feelings, taking care of them, taking care of me.
AND I have so many things to look forward to. This weekend my Craftivism group is doing our first Craft Bombing! I made some fabric banners, people are making whatever they want, then we are getting to together to put them up in the same place. My friend is having a "high tea" birthday and I am making lavender cupcakes for it.
There is so much good in my life, so many new things opening up. Sometimes it feels like I shouldn't have sadness or anxiety or any uncomfortable feelings because things are going so well and I have so much to be grateful for, but that's not how life works.
What do I need now?
Focus on self care.
What does my dream need now?
The flowers and stars and nebulas all want to give me a hug. They want healing for me.
Healing is a function of dreaming and dreaming is a function of healing.
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
Remember it's all a part of it! Self care and creativity-nourishing routines and Dream Work and Inner Work and Outer work. Keep showing up, trust the process.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Once in a while I think… I should check in with this “year long resistance project” I am doing, and then I feel a LOT of resistance to that idea, so I don’t.
The start of this project was amazing, the commitment and determination I felt was so energizing. That energy helped me explore more deeply and come up with really good little changes to make (little as in DO-ABLE) that made a huge difference.
I am nowhere near as resistant now, as I in January.
And, I am still going through a divorce. Now I understand why it’s called “going through” a divorce. It’s a lot to go through, and a lot of it has nothing to do with the relationship, it’s just a big life change. So some days I am going through as in struggling to get through and some days I am going through as in moving along the path.
And it’s all connected.
My sensitivities. The ways I get overwhelmed. The ways I respond when I am overwhelmed.
I’m starting to feel like I’ve been in a nervous system freeze response since the start of the pandemic, and I am coming out of if now.
So, some of my resistance is nervous system overwhelm. Which needs rest and restoration.
And some of it is my own fears and self doubt trying to stop me. Which needs presence, focus, intention, healing, and ACTION.
Life is so complicated. Our creative dreams ask us to be more alive, more engaged with all parts of our lives and this just makes a complicated thing more complicated.
AND more meaningful and fulfilling and joyful.
AND… am I writing all of this to avoid actually looking at my resistance? lol
Thinking about resistance is kind of like thinking AROUND resistance and the only way out is THROUGH.
So, resistance, let’s talk.
Resistance shows up as a snake.
Slippery, hard to hold onto (and ewww I don’t actually want to hold onto it) and changes it’s skin continually.
I spread a blanket out on the ground, and put out a picnic.
Let’s talk.
The snake is enjoying a cup of tea and a cookie. But it’s skin keeps changing, I can’t tell what it is.
I’m not one thing.
Sometimes I protect you. Sometimes I hold you back. Don’t try to understand me, focus on knowing your relationship with me.
So…
Be more still.
Really listen to myself.
HOW DOES IT FEEL?
Does it feel like I need to rest?
Does it feel like I need to do the thing I am resisting?
Does it feel like I need to do something else?
There are so many layers to our feelings.
So many ways our conditioned patterns pop up and interfere with us knowing our truth. And then whole new layers of conditioned patterns pop up and interfere with us acting on our truth, once we finally know it.
This is a work in progress.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
I do a New Moon Intention Setting Call every month, which is open to all Dream Book members. There is also the New Moon Intention Setting Ritual Kit for people who are not in the membership.
When it comes to my new moon intention setting, some months I know exactly what I want to do next, and some months I have no clue.
But I DO IT every month. And in the process of reflection and meditation - it feels like the right intention finds me.
Our last new moon intention setting call was on April 5 (I try to do these a few days before the new moon so that people have a chance to use the replay before or on the new moon)
I just looked through my journal and… ever since that day I’ve been drowning in the opposite of my intention.
This is how it works sometimes.
I’m not failing.
Sometimes life just lifes.
Sometimes, more often actually, setting an intention clears the way for us to see what needs to change in order to have the thing we want.
And that can get really ugly.
Which is where I am right now.
And I’ve been here so many times I am not un-nerved by it. I was relieved to open my journal this morning, revisit my new moon intention journaling, and notice how I had the exact opposite of it.
Oh, ok, so THIS IS THE WORK.
I mean I tell this to people every day, and it’s still humbling each time I see it for myself. This is the work.
Most “next steps” in outer work, most changes we want to see in our lives, require “next steps” in inner work, to go deeper.
This is NOT because we are fucked up and need to change to be good enough to have our dreams!!! Because we are deeply and significantly impacted by the culture we grow up in, and our culture is a flaming trash bin. White supremacy, the patriarchy, colonialist capitalism - these systems are bad for all living things and they’ve impacted us all.
So, in these times, you need to get MORE curious about where you hold back from the things you want, you need to be MORE compassionate with the parts of you who don’t believe in you or your dreams.
You are not wrong for the places where you hold back.
You are not wrong for HAVING inner work to do, to get to where you want to be.
This is where I am today. Noticing how the inner work just got more clear.
The prompt I am working with:
How can I support ALL PARTS OF ME in being ready to do this thing I want to do?
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
I’ve been showing up for my Creative Dream Practice, doing the alchemy processes, working with my dream… but not in the actual book that I had made for Dream Book.
Sometimes this happens.
Sometimes it’s resistance - because having it all ORGANIZED in the way we do in Dream Book gives you a sense of clarity and direction that can be scary at times.
Sometimes it’s not resistance, you’re just in a place on the path that’s less linear and structured.
Anyway, I opened up my Dream Book and it made sense - I could see why I hadn’t opened it in a while.
In the fall I had made pages for my new dreams, for the liminal space I figured I would be in for a while. Space for healing and self care and adjusting to the shock of my husband leaving. Dreams of giving myself the fall and winter to be in a cocoon of healing, and emerging in the spring ready to create my new life.
Not that I wanted to dictate the timing of my healing process, I wasn’t going to force myself out of the cocoon on any particular date - it’s just that’s how it felt to me at the time.
And now here I am, emerging from the cocoon. I mean, kind of. I'm feeling inspired and motivated. I know so much more about what I want my new life to look like.
So here am - opening my Dream Book to get myself organized.
That doesn’t mean these past months I have been “off track” or anything.
I was just in a non-linear part of the path.
It’s ALL a part of it.
Even the times when you're just 100% IN RESISTANCE and not showing up - that's a part of it too. There is so much to wrestle with, and so many ways to work with our dreams.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I am capable of more than I know.
This is one of those mantras that has usually been true.
AND
Some of the times when I have MOST felt it are the times when I was actually the LEAST capable.
Like, there is a delusion that can set in and it can help us overcome a lot of shit.
Like "Oh I'll just put my art on Instagram and it will sell immediately!" and we use that courage to take a bunch of super brave steps.... and in the process we begin the journey of learning JUST HOW MUCH we have to do to actually sell the art.
It can feel like you've been defeated but actually, that courage and confidence helped get you to a place where you see how much you have to learn, which IS what will get you to a place of being able to do the thing.
So, I take some hope then, in the fact that I'm not sure how capable I feel right now.
And this mantra feels like a balm, reminding me of my truth.
We are always capable of our creative dreams. Our creative dreams CHOOSE us for a reason.
We won't always FEEL capable.
Learning to show up consistently. Having ways of working with your dream that work for where you're at (ie Dream Book!!). Making Creative Dreaming a HABIT. This all really helps us move through the feeling-less-capable times.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!
My Dream Status Report for this week:
PART ONE:
My dream is: I want to get an RV or camper van and travel… WITH MY CAT BEAR!!!! Create a comfy cozy home on wheels, and write + make art on the road while we have adventures. AND... last week I got another new dream!! More to come but YAY! I am loving the magic of being excited about a new thing.
I want it because: It feels so sweet and makes me happy. And the new dream, which is more about art I want to make, feels like it will expand and energize my whole life.
When I have it I will feel: I think I will feel so happy, free and thrilled with my life.
PART TWO:
Invite the soul of your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
My dream is a meadow of wildflowers and it says "Your dream is NOT just those things. It's the thrill and magic of being who you are. There is so much good ahead of you!"
PART THREE:
Last week’s focus was: Pausing before the next step, get grounded and acclimated before moving on.
What happened in the last week? This was a weird week. I think I am more grounded and acclimated and ready for my next steps, but I didn't take as many of those steps as I thought I would. Though - I write these things on Thursday mornings, and, as of the time of writing this - I do have my schedule for Thursday and Friday mostly set aside to work on taking these steps.
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
I am really tired of learning how "it takes the time it takes" but here we are, lol. But mostly I feel accepting, I am really happy about what I am moving towards, which makes it easier to access that it's not happening as fast as I would like.
Also I had an intense therapy session this week on a day that I had a big panic attack. Definitely some new lessons coming in around not trying to control the process of life, and focusing on how I am tending to myself vs trying to "improve" myself.
I've had a lot of thoughts lately about "self improvement" being such a big part of personal growth and healing - and how it shouldn't be. And I've known that for a long time, but it's SO culturally engrained in it, that it keeps seeping in.
We are wonderful. There is nothing that needs improvement in ourselves but there is LOADS that needs tending to - our dreams, our hurts, etc.
What do I need now?
Patience. To listen to myself about what I need from moment to moment.
What does my dream need now?
The wildflowers in the meadow are just kind of sparkling. It's like - they just need to live. Soak up sun and be gorgeous.
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
Take my next steps and keep taking them. Listen to myself about what I need from moment to moment.
Dream Book members:
!https://www.creativedreamincubator.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/come-dream-with-us-295x300.png
Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
I am working on a thing that is feeling SO hard.
I can’t stay with it, I keep get distracted.
As I keep bringing myself back to it I am just… YIKES.
So - into the Un-Sticking Station.
Hello Stuck.
Stuck is tension in my shoulders growing stronger by the second. I want to cry. And run around. And never, ever do this thing.
Stuck says “Let’s go shopping. We need envelopes! We can get snacks while we’re out!”
No, not right now. Right now let’s stay focused on this thing.
"We have been working on this all day, it’s time for a break."
Well that’s the thing, we haven’t really been working on it, we’ve been avoiding it.
And that's the end.
I wrote this last week and found it this week.
And it made me realize - I only share my FINISHED un-stickings here. They don't always feel complete, but they feel like a significant step was taken and I know what step to take next, like I feel SOMEWHAT un-stuck at least.
And this one is just... one realization, that I hadn't been WORKING ON the thing all day, I had been WORKING AT AVOIDING the thing all day.
And that realization was A LOT to process.
That was the only step I could take that day.
Just showing up and saying HI to your stuck is enough. It starts to disrupt it. It makes new options possible in the future.
We constantly judge our steps as TOO SMALL. But every step counts!
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
(I wrote this post on April 1)
I started having this intense feeling, once in a while, of wanting to “go upstairs to my bed”
I had moved the bedroom downstairs about 2.5 years ago, and at that time I was really happy to move my work upstairs, where it was sunnier. It felt good to have work be separate from the rest of my life.
When my husband left me in September, I did re-arrange things, while keeping work upstairs and life downstairs, and LOVED my set up all winter. And, I guess it was time to change it. Because on Easter weekend this wish to “go upstairs to my bed” was so intense I felt I HAD to do it. Right then, that day....
Take apart 2 bed frames (I had a work/nap twin size bed in my work space) and my desk, and move EVERYTHING up/down the stairs. (My sister did come over to help move the queen boxspring and mattress, which I tried but just couldn’t get up the stairs alone) I thought, since I have been lifting weights for months this will be fine.
But I am writing this the morning after, and it’s not fine, lol! I’m sure I’ll be find soon, but Ibuprofen is keeping me going this morning.
THIS FEELS MAGICAL AND HEALING.
This feels like I am starting my new life.
This loft bedroom was the reason why I got this condo. It’s a big bedroom with huge windows looking out on our courtyard with trees outside. One of the windows is a door that fully opens to let in SO MUCH fresh air. Being in there felt like being in a retreat.
So, I don’t regret my choice to move my work into the most cherished part of my home because I do love my work. It made sense, I had ALWAYS thought about it, and it was good to do it and see how it was.
The thing is, I don’t need that much space for my work. I had 2 desks and a twin size work/nap bed and lots of space to spread out on the floor since I do like working on the floor… but lately I was mostly taking my laptop and journals downstairs and working on the floor there.
I think it’s great to try things, even if they don’t end up being what you want FOREVER
I FEEL ALIVE because of making this decision and taking this action. And I think I remembering feeling this good about the choice to move my work into this room two and a half years ago.
I just want to hold onto this - doing the thing that feels right. Giving myself the things I crave.
This morning I woke up upstairs, back in my bedroom. And I just felt so happy.
I also felt SO HAPPY when I first moved the workspace upstairs.
It’s like - there is no ONE WAY. We are living growing beings and get to make new choices whenever that feels right. That’s a big part of why I wanted a loft with no interior walls, so I could re-arrange in whatever way fits my life in the moment.
Anyway, it’s spring. I am feeling the RE-BIRTH vibes. I feel alive. I feel like I have a new home and a new life and I am really excited about my future.
I’m working on adding something new to Dream Book - to make it more of a COACHING MEMBERSHIP because I think we all need more support for our creative dreams because we all deserve to feel ALIVE and EXCITED about our futures. We can create a better future for everyone. I sent out an email about this on Monday - we’re going to do a weekly coaching call on Fridays for planning, momentum and support. This will start April 26, details to come!
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
For a while I’ve been feeling really good about my divorce. I was doing an acceptance practice and felt… accepting. I was enjoying all the new possibility and freedom that I have in my life. I was looking forward to my future. I’m turning 50 in May and was just feeling so excited about this new chapter in my life.
Then that all crashed. I started feeling the HUGENESS of the loss of the emotional and financial support and stability I received in my marriage and freaking out about it. Every month I’ve had BIG unexpected expenses. And my mortgage and condo fees have increased dramatically, along with the rest of the cost of living. So, in this economy, it feels harder than ever to calm that anxiety.
There are moments when it’s SO calm though. When I feel SO sure. And then there are moments when I just want to cry.
I’m so lucky that I know so much about how dreams work. I have so many examples in my mind, of all the people I have worked with, and everything they have overcome.
I have so many tools for SHOWING UP NO MATTER HOW I FEEL AND WHAT IS HAPPENING.
I have this enormous body of evidence that says: just keep showing up.
Show up anxious. Show up scared.
JUST SHOW UP.
Dream Book members - remember the Library of Inner Work Practices for ways to show up when it's hard. And email me any time for recommendations for things to use!!
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I am ready for my breakthrough.
It’s a little spooky how these mantras have been so RIGHT ON for me lately. Either bringing me the lessons/awareness I need, or just being the exact vibe I am already in.
I am ready for my breakthrough.
I feel like I HAD the breakthrough, but I am in this space of adjusting to it, and the adjustment feels HUGE.
I am ready for my breakthrough. This feels like a bit of a balm for the parts of me who are like “Am I though?”
The breakthrough is around how I want to describe Dream Book… and actually going back to my decision to re-name the membership to Dream Book and making a different decision.
It’s like how a few years ago I moved my bedroom downstairs and put my workspace upstairs. The upstairs loft is my favourite part of my condo and it felt so good to give that space to my creativity.
Until it started to feel URGENT that I give that space back to my bedroom. And it was this huge annoying job to actually move everything, but I did it. But now that it’s done it’s like WHOA. I needed this so much.
This doesn’t negate how right it felt to move my workspace upstairs when I did it.
We’re alive and changing and we get to keep making new choices.
So, I am making the choice to re-name the membership. Which doesn’t change anything about what’s happening inside - other than I also want to add Friday afternoon coaching calls.
It changes the sales page. It changes how I talk about it.
Which has always been the hardest part of my work for me. And over the years I have hired people to do this work FOR me, I’ve hired coaches and mentors to do it WITH me, and now I feel SO sure that I know the right way to do this. It feels so right.
AND
It’s just a big step.
So… I am READY for my breakthrough. I am ready to DO THE WORK of acting on it. I have been doing the work, and it’s FUCKING HARD so repeating the mantra I am ready for my breakthrough is really helping.
Because it feels true. This is hard AND I am ready to do it.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.