OK Hi Resistance.
This feels weird. Usually you are like, SUPER SUPER VERY PRESENT and I try to pretend you’re not for a while, and we go in circles, and then finally I throw up my hands and say “Ok fine let’s meet! Hello resistance!”
But here I am. Willingly coming to you even though you’re not really coming to me today.
Resistance shows up as a witch. A wise older woman.
“Oh this is nice. I’ll put the kettle on for tea.”
She rummages around in the freezer to pull some cookies out then turns around and looks at me, pointedly.
And I know what she’s thinking.
I became that kind of person - the kind who can rummage around for home made cookies in her freezer. The kind of person who cooks and bakes from scratch, healthy and yummy things, and knows how to take care of… herself. Suddenly I see, all the ways I tried to take care of my husband and step-children, these are ways I ultimately learned to take care of ME.
OK but I am not here to talk about my divorce.
She raises an eyebrow and again I can read her mind.
It’s all connected.
I started the resistance project because I wanted more creative flow. Not to go BACK to were I was before the pandemic and peri-menopause. But to move FORWARD in my most powerful and aligned way. There is so much I want to do and create and I felt called to get a better handle on my resistance.
But, sitting here in this witch’s kitchen having a cup of tea and a cookie, I see that it’s all connected.
“This divorce is the most powerful thing you have right now” she says.
And I get it. I have been wanting to move THROUGH it rather than find out how deep I can go INTO it.
And, what the resistance witch is saying is - if I try to compartmentalize different parts of my life I can never be in my power. And creative flow is, partly, about power.
And resistance is, partly, about resisting my power.
And a divorce, like other unwelcome and difficult events, blows things up and gives you this magical opportunity to put them together in a whole new way. A way that makes more space for your power.
And, I wish it could go without saying but I think it always needs to be said, this isn’t about bypassing the hard. It’s more about being SO present with ALL of the hard parts that get triggered that healing, growth and miracles become inevitable.
I ask for another cookie.
We’re still right at the start of this resistance project, and resistance has already transformed from a vague annoying heavy cloud of darkness into a wise witch teacher and healer.
This is so good.
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