I wrote this in my journal + wanted to share…

By Andrea Schroeder / October 22, 2024 / daily practice, healing, inner work, resistance project

I got to this part so I must be ready for this step

After I wrote it, it felt like a miracle.

Of course I did write this about a step I DID NOT feel ready for but... OMG YES. Why am I here if I am not ready for this step?

AND OF COURSE: Taking a rest, doing some research, asking for help… these are all valid next steps, especially when you get to a part where you’re not sure what to do with.

But… you got to this part because you are ready for this part.

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I wrote this in my journal + wanted to share… Read More »

Do I have to __ if I want to succeed at _?

By Andrea Schroeder / October 17, 2024 / Creative Dream Q+A, daily practice, healing, inner work, journaling, resistance project

Creative Dream Q+A time! If you have questions to add to this series, let me know!

If you want to succeed at then you have to .

The question I got was… Do I have to do video to succeed? I am better at connecting in person.

And the short answer is always no.

You don’t have to do what other people say. When it comes to your dreams, you are the only one who can build the path. Your ways of doing things are always best.

When it comes to unsolicited advice, always feel free to just reject it and never think about it again.

You didn’t ask for it, you don’t need to spend any time thinking about it. Especially if it’s advice that you don’t like, you can end up wasting a lot of energy being kind of upset about someone telling you to do this thing that you don’t want to do.

Don’t waste your energy on that, save your energy for building your path to your dream. Show them they’re wrong, that you didn’t need that unsolicited advice, you did it your way.

But if you did ask for advice, before you reject it, it’s good to understand WHY that was the advice that was given.

So, for example, if a business coach sees that people who do video have a better job at connecting with people to grow their businesses, then they may encourage you to do video.

So, if the video is meant to help you connect with people - what are you doing to connect with people instead?

It’s not enough to say - I don’t want to do video. You have to identify what you will do instead.

The person who asked me this question said that they connect better in person - so they need to look at how they are doing that, how to do more of it, and how to get better at it.

If you want a different result you generally have to take a different action. And often that different action is going to be uncomfortable at first. And sometimes, we reject advice because it makes us uncomfortable.

When you do that, you are letting your fear of your feelings control your life.

To make your dream happen, you need to be in control of your life - you as in your creative, intuitive and brave self, not your fearful self.

So for this person who asked about video and said that she connects better in person - if she’s not doing anything to seek out opportunities for in person speaking engagements and networking, then something is stuck there and her next steps are to look deeper.

Resources from the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership:

Alchemy process for hearing your intuition to figure out if you are just avoiding discomfort or if it's true for you to not do the thing you don't want to do.

Dream Plan Kit to work on your plan for how you will make this thing happen!

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Do I have to ____ if I want to succeed at ___? Read More »

My dream won’t show up

By Andrea Schroeder / October 16, 2024 / daily practice, healing, inner work, resistance project

I was having an anxious morning and didn't know what to do, so I went to the Creative Dream Alchemy Library to find something to do, and chose Dream Work. (Inner Work would have been good too, but there isn’t a way to choose wrong, doing anything is better than doing nothing).

Once in the Dream Work section, I chose the Dream Lab meditation.

I put pillows on the floor and got really comfy and really got into it…

And my dream just wouldn’t show up.

The meditation did soothe my anxiety, I felt calm from being in the field in the meditation.

But my dream was just... not there.

This is from a few weeks ago. Then last week I did the dream lab meditation in our Friday weekly call, and again - my dream would not show up.

On Friday, eventually I saw something in the meditation... me, from the back, and far away. Like I couldn't reach myself.

My dreams feel far away right now.

This has been so uncomfortable but I finally realized... this is GOOD.

My dreams are taking space to shift, grow, change, become who they want to be next.

Which means... I am taking space to shift, grow, change, become who I want to be next.

Pursing a dream is an alchemical process. You have to let it grow and change you. You have to let the dream itself grow and change.

The work is always only to keep showing up.

It doesn't matter what the outcomes are.

And it doesn't matter how many times I say that, I really prefer certain outcomes!! I prefer clarity and confidence and feeling like I am moving forward in measurable ways.

But you're not IN THE PROCESS if you only allow some parts of it.

So, I keep showing up. Even if that just means sitting in the fog and contemplating what might happen next...

I mean, if I am honest, and we should always be honest in our practice... I do know what's next. I know what's calling me and I have not been answering.

Art is calling. And I feel too heavy and tired to answer.

Maybe it's the side effects of this medication I am on, which means I'll feel better by or before early December and it will be easier to get into it then if I kept showing up in the meantime.

Maybe it's resistance, which means I just need to keep showing up and be with what's there. Maybe even make the worse art ever in my journal to help spark some flow.

Maybe it's depression, which means if I keep showing up that's actually really good for me.

I don't have to know why I feel too heavy and tired to answer this call.

I just need to keep showing up - that is how I answer the call, it just doesn't look like how I think "answering the call to make more art" should look and the older I get the more it sinks in - nothing looks like what I think it "should".

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

My dream won’t show up Read More »

What if I will never have the time + energy for my dreams that I used to have?

By Andrea Schroeder / October 10, 2024 / Creative Dream Q+A, daily practice, healing, inner work, journaling, resistance project

I put out a call for creative dream questions and this one came in. If you have questions, let me know! I want this to be a series, maybe weekly, maybe random, we'll see. I recorded this so you can watch it or read it:

It’s so sad and hard to be in this place. For many reasons, just the simple facts of aging or illness or changing life situations, it’s not uncommon to find ourselves in a place where we don’t have the energy we used to have and it can be really terrifying because… our creative dreams still matter. So it can feel like we are losing a part of us.

And when it comes to our creative dreams, because they come from such a deep and vulnerable place in us, the fears around them can feel amplified.

So here is what I suggest when you’re in this situation:

First: Validate your feelings, even if you may feel like your fears are exaggerated, validate how this actually feels. Give yourself some time with these feelings, make space to be present with these feelings as sensations in your body. What do these hurting parts of you need?

This is probably connected with other feelings about what has happened that has caused you to have less energy than you used to. There is probably some grieving that needs to happen, and not giving ourselves space to grieve keeps things bottled up and pressure-y. Grieving relieves the pressure. Grieving really is a part of creative dreaming, in a lot of ways.

You need to give yourself whatever time and space you need to do that processing and grieving. It will probably need more time and space than you think it should.

While you are processing and grieving, keep asking yourself what you need.

Learn to get really good at taking care of yourself.

If you are doing all of that, you will naturally come to a place where the question shifts from “how do I go back to have the energy I used to have” to “how do I move forward, with what I have now?”

When we are young, when have never experienced serious illness, when we have never had shit really go wrong in our lives - we do have this fountain of energy to devote to our dreams.

When I was in my 30s I put so much effort into tending to that fountain, trying to make it flow as fast and furious as possible.

Now in my 50s, going through a divorce, really struggling physically and mentally with perimenopause, I do grieve the loss of that energy. And I did start treatments with my doctor with the hope that I could go back to who I used to be.

But the more I have allowed myself to grieve the losses and process the feelings, the more there is this new path opening up for me. New ways to approach dreams that honour where I am.

Work smarter not harder can be applied in so many ways. Work smarter not faster is a good one.

What qualities have you gained in this situation that has left you with less energy, and how can these qualities help you with your dreams?

Without negating the difficulties of what you have faced, and so this question is better asked after you’ve had space to grieve and process - What are the strengths and opportunities of being where you are?

Creative dreaming never happens in a vacuum and always happens in the world as it is, in our lives as they are. Creative dreaming is a way of responding to the world and to our lives. It comes from a deep, powerful and wise place in you. If these dreams are alive in you, now in your life as it now, then there is a way. Always remember that the way is just about the inner healing and growth as it is about the outer work.

It’s complicated!

Creative Dreaming is literally bringing new realities to life.

It’s complicated and I’d love to support you in the work in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership.

Let’s make magic together.

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

What if I will never have the time + energy for my dreams that I used to have? Read More »

I am re-starting Dream Book again

By Andrea Schroeder / October 9, 2024 / daily practice, healing, inner work, journaling, resistance project

With this new perspective that I shared yesterday, I realized that the dream I've been working on in my Dream Book is a bit off.

I still want this thing, but it's really more of a GOAL than a DREAM.

How do you know the difference? It's just how it feels to you. Every year I use the Goodreads app to track my goal of reading 50 books. I like who I am when I'm reading regularly but I am not DREAMING of finishing these books. But when I started this, when I wasn't reading that much, it did feel like more of a dream. Things can shift around.

Also, you can do Dream Book with dreams or goals or anything you want.

There is this shift for me in my relationship with and feelings about this dream I've been working on.

My dream has been really outer focused - which is completely fine!

But I am realizing that the path I saw there - deepening my creative practices - is actually THE DREAM.

This might not make sense to anyone but me and that's ok! Our dreams do not have to make sense to other people. And our process, at times, most likely CAN'T make sense to other people.

I also saw how much I am RESISTING deepening my creative practice.

And how easy it is to be in resistance when the goal/dream is so vague. Like what does "deepening a practice" even mean? What does it look like? What do I actually want here?

Those are such good questions to begin with, to help me define this dream.

Also the first questions you get in Dream Book - WHY do you want it and how will you feel when you have it? They help clarify too.

And clarity comes from diving into the foggy waters.

So to help me figure out how to do this, I am re-starting Dream Book with this new dream.

So, I am looking through my first bunch of pages in my Dream Book and it's interesting that I have space here to just add new stuff in.

All the work I have done with this dream really had led me to this place of shifting my whole relationship with it and shifting my understanding of what I REALLY want.

This is SO GOOD!!!!

And at the same time, it feels discouraging because I've lost some of the certainty I was feeling a few months ago.

Combined with how my life feels a bit out of my control because I am dealing with all of these side effects and just not feeling good - this just feels like such a good time to slow down and really BE WITH the questions.

What do I want? Like, what do I really, really want?

Who do I want to be, at the end of this transformative experience?

What helps me get there?

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I am re-starting Dream Book again Read More »

Moving out of resistance and into a creative portal

By Andrea Schroeder / October 8, 2024 / daily practice, healing, inner work, journaling, resistance project

Over the weekend I spent a lot of time circling my resistance.

I listened to this podcast about Psilocybin and midlife. They did say a few things that I found disturbingly ableist about how if you have physical symptoms during perimenopause that's just a sign that you are not taking proper care of yourself. But they also said some really helpful things about midlife as a transformative experience.

I've been forgetting that part.

I've been having a really hard time, my doctor is helping me and I believe her that everything will get easier but it takes some people up to 3 months to adjust and I seem to be one of those people. All of my symptoms are worse AND I have more symptoms as side effects of the treatment.

So, our the last little while, I have retreated. Resistance kind of pulled me into a nice comforting hug. Let's just distract ourselves as much as possible and wait to feel better...

Which would be fine if I didn't potentially have 2 more months of this.

Or maybe it would be fine for 2 more months IF my creative spark wasn't so desperate to come out.

After listening to that podcast I thought... what I really want from this time is to experience it as a CREATIVE PORTAL.

Like - all the places where I have been wanting to GO BACK to who I was I want to fill with ACCEPTANCE and PRESENCE.

I can't go back. I can find out what is possible here.

This shift in perspective is so exciting.

It doesn't change my symptoms. But it can change how I experience all of this down time.

And I don't think we need to be in perimenopause to decide to be in a CREATIVE PORTAL.

Technically, EVERY DREAM IS A CREATIVE PORTAL. It's an invitation and an opening.

So, we can choose to step into a creative portal any time we want. We can CREATE times of healing, growth and transformation with our intention and our choices.

So, I am re-starting my dream book with a new focus.

I will share more about that tomorrow.

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Moving out of resistance and into a creative portal Read More »

Look what I’ve been doing in this journal!

By Andrea Schroeder / August 1, 2024 / daily practice, healing, inner work, journaling, resistance project

Two new things for August:

💸 How To Make More Money Without Destroying Your Soul

Two sessions on Zoom: August 7 + 21 (with replays!) and a printable guided journal.

THE FIRST SESSION IS FREE FOR EVERYONE! (Not a promo or anything, this is the actual first session in this program) Full program (both zoom with the guided journal) is $33 USD - or free for Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members.

Details + registration. | Membership members get everything here.

⚡️BREAKTHROUGH

If you want something to change and don't know how to go about getting that change - this one is for you.

Three alchemy sessions on Zoom WITH NO RECORDING. The group will be small enough for everyone to get attention. We’re being present, going deep and GETTING our breakthroughs.

Three sessions: August 12, 19 + 26. The cost is $233 USD

Details + registration.

This is one of the things I've been doing in my journal lately and I LOVE IT.

This is a journal that I used for just bitching and complaining, lol. This is not a Dream Book! I started using it ONLY when I am upset, because I wanted to look back and see patterns and stuff. It was an extra journal I had and an idea to experiment with it.

It always felt weird, just all this bad stuff and no real resolution. Dream Book is where I would work THROUGH things, like using the un-sticking station.

Then I got the idea to go back through it, and paint over every page, and write out the transformation of the thing I was bitching about and it just feels magic. Now I can flip through it and it's a journal of healing.

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Look what I’ve been doing in this journal! Read More »

The Breakthrough

By Andrea Schroeder / July 31, 2024 / daily practice, healing, inner work, journaling, resistance project

Two new things for August:

💸 How To Make More Money Without Destroying Your Soul

Two sessions on Zoom: August 7 + 21 (with replays!) and a printable guided journal.

Details + registration. | Membership members get everything here.

⚡️BREAKTHROUGH

If you want something to change and don't know how to go about getting that change - this one is for you.

Three alchemy sessions on Zoom WITH NO RECORDING. The group will be small enough for everyone to get attention. We’re being present, going deep and GETTING our breakthroughs.

Three sessions: August 12, 19 + 26. The cost is $233 USD

Details + registration.

As discussed, I've been stuck and I've been circling around some stuff for some time. But this is good!

And as I shared yesterday, I had a high anxiety day and was having a panic attack - crying, upset, and that's when everything changed.

It FELT LIKE all of the intense feelings knocked something loose.

But as I reflect, I don't think that's what it is.

I think I've been paying attention in a deeper way to my feelings. For sure I've been going deeper into them in the divorce process and all the ways it digs up ALL THE STUFF.

But in spending more time processing my feelings, I am more familiar with all the different sensations in my body... and so when I felt stuck with my creative dream, and really sat with that feeling, and all of my feelings were magnified as it was a high anxiety day... well I FELT it. In my body. It felt the same as some divorce stuff I've been processing.

I didn't understand it in my mind.

I still don't fully understand it.

But I FELT it. And then everything I know about this feeling, in regards to my healing process with my divorce, I suddenly saw how it applies to my creative dreams.

And something shifted. And then I saw new options I hadn't seen before.

All because I sat with the feelings even when they felt too big to sit with.

Over and over I am reminded that the feelings that come up as we work on our dreams are not accidents. They are the path.

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

The Breakthrough Read More »

Are you stuck or are you circling it and does it matter?

By Andrea Schroeder / July 30, 2024 / daily practice, healing, inner work, journaling, resistance project

Two new things for August:

💸 How To Make More Money Without Destroying Your Soul

Two sessions on Zoom: August 7 + 21 (with replays!) and a printable guided journal.

Details + registration. | Membership members get everything here.

⚡️BREAKTHROUGH

If you want something to change and don't know how to go about getting that change - this one is for you.

Three alchemy sessions on Zoom WITH NO RECORDING. The group will be small enough for everyone to get attention. We’re being present, going deep and GETTING our breakthroughs.

Three sessions: August 12, 19 + 26 at 1:00 pm Central Daylight -5 GMT

The cost is $233 USD

Details + registration.

The whole thing about showing up for your dream as a PRACTICE as that the practice itself becomes a container that holds your PROCESS of becoming the version of you who can do the thing.

This doesn’t mean it feels like magic every time.

It’s boring or hard just as often as it’s healing and magically creative.

In yesterday's post I mentioned that tension or twistiness of being in that space where you can't just step into your dream.

Sometimes, like has been happening for me for a while - you are circling something. And you need that time to circle!

You need that process of circling to work through things you don’t even know you are working through.

And it’s really hard to keep showing up in those times. Because it doesn't feel like you are circling, you just feel STUCK.

I’ve been feeling like I know I’m resisting something but I can’t quite see my resistance. There’s just this vague sense of avoiding something and feeling stuck.

So, I kept showing up. Practicing. Noticing what’s happening. Being with these feelings of sensing out resistance beneath the surface but not being able to get at it or even understand what I am resisting.

And then that all blew up.

I was having a high anxiety day that turned into a panic attack. I was crying and trying to soothe myself when suddenly my whole perspective changed.

It’s like the intense feelings created a disturbance in me that loosened what was stuck. That’s how it felt.

And looking back I can see how long I’ve been circling this and I am embarrassed about that BUT ALSO we have to circle for as long as we have to circle.

Circling is actually PRODUCTIVE.

The only thing that is ever not productive is to stop showing up at all.

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Are you stuck or are you circling it and does it matter? Read More »

I am replacing “productive” with “fruitful”

By Andrea Schroeder / July 25, 2024 / daily practice, healing, inner work, journaling, resistance project

Even though I still have LOTS of stucks to un-stick, I am really feeling in the flow.

I am taking steps and making measurable progress and growing in my connection with my dream self who has completed this project.

And as I was working this morning I thought - oh this was such a FRUITFUL time.

Then, riding my bike home, I thought about the word fruitful and how I love it. I never really use it but I really embodies the qualities of what I want my creative time to be…

And then it hit me - I want to replace productive with fruitful.

I don’t want to be or feel productive. I don’t want to figure out how to make myself be more productive… which I have done a lot of in my life.

I want my creative time to be fruitful.

This feels more like a ripening.

An opening.

A blossoming even!

And less like a factory production line.

Productivity is one of the things I have been… struggling with? Exploring? Trying to transform? … since the start of the pandemic when overwhelm kind of took over.

I love how it feels to complete projects. I love putting my work out there. I depend on putting my work out there to support myself. I love how it feel to be in the creative flow…

But I have not been loving the whole vibe around “productive”

So, replacing that with fruitful feels really good. Like maybe some stuff can untangle on its own and I can bear more fruit without feeling like a factory worker.

Ohhhh

For people who have been reading my blog a verrrrrry long time, early in the Creaive Dream incubator's history I had this metaphor I worked with that was the creative dream factory.

And it wasn’t loads of workers working for piecework and needing to work as fast as possible or anything like that. It was a big spacious cool creative dreamy space for me to work in, with robots who took my ideas and helped turn them into, I don’t remember exactly, the stuff that runs the business I guess.

There were big bean bags and art supplies everywhere. Lots of permission to nap and dream.

But still, it was a factory and we were producing dreams.

And I’m not saying that was wrong! It was such a helpful way for me to see my work at the time.

But now I want the Creative Dream Incubator to be a meadow.

Things can blossom and bear fruit. So much fruit!

But some things also die.

Some things take long breaks for the winter.

It just feel more organic.

AND it feels like it answers a lot of my questions about how I want to be with my work. Like, I don’t want to go back to my pre-pandemic self. Not that I could I if I wanted to.

Same for my married self.

But who am I now and who is the Creative Dream Incubator now and how to we work together in service of dreams?

Some parts of that are obvious and fully functioning.

But there is always room for growth and change and new possibilities.

This just feels really good.

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I am replacing “productive” with “fruitful” Read More »

Another conversation with my resistance and “I’m not ready”

By Andrea Schroeder / July 24, 2024 / daily practice, healing, inner work, journaling, resistance project

This year I wanted to explore my relationship with resistance.

And I’ve been a lot more mindful of it. And all sorts of things have shifted.

AND

There are still all these places where it feels tangly and murky.

Today here is this part of me who just wants to sink into nothingness doesn’t want me exploring bright new creative paths.

Sink into nothingness is the only way I can describe it. This part of me wants to numb and avoid.

And I get so frustrated with it. But I want to be curious about it instead, so let’s try…

Hey, resistance, part of me who wants to sink into nothingness, I’d like to understand you better.

In what way?

Well, I understand how much I want to DO the creative ideas I have and explore new things and just generally FEEL ALIVE in my life. And I feel like you don’t want that, and try to stop me, and I don’t understand.

I just sit with this, how I have these two parts of me, how I relate to one of them more than the other and how they don’t relate to each other at all.

So I ask her: Can you see the things I am dreaming of here? How do you feel about them?

Oh wow they look gorgeous. Yes I can see them. But they are for the future. They’re not here.

Right. So you need them to be here already before we can pursue them?

Kind of.

But you know it doesn’t work that way, right?

No. I mean - we are here. There’s a lot of heaviness and reasons to go slow here. Are you sure you aren’t trying to just leap ahead into the future to avoid being here? Are you really sure I am the one avoiding?

Umm ok this doesn’t feel fruitful. I mean - do we just point fingers and call each other avoiders?

It feels like my inner conversations are so convoluted lately.

But let’s keep going.

Yeah, I see where you are right! I am trying to avoid and avoidance, in a way. I do want to change what is happening right now. I want to be doing the things I want to be doing. I don’t want to be tired and heavy.

But I am SO tired and heavy.

OK but we agree about the future we are moving toward, right?

Right.

That’s good! But - are you saying you don’t want to take ANY steps now?

I need to feel ready.

Do you know how many things I have written about “waiting to feel ready is bullshit”?

She just looks at me.

Am I wrong?

Am I wrong?

Yeah, I think you are. I’m sorry! I think we can’t WAIT to feel ready, but we can WORK ON feeling ready. We can take smaller steps, take a gentler approach.

This doesn’t feel resolved in any way, but I do feel like this big sticky resistance is quietly considering other options. I love that we agree on the future we are moving towards.

A few hours, I felt into this in a new way.

This part of me who feels NOT READY does need a different approach. HEALING and ART and MAGIC as a part of the work.

I mean - this is what Dream Book IS

AND…

There are always more layers. And there are always time when I try to focus more on Outer Work - like right now because I know exactly what I want to do, I just can’t do it.

And this part of me comes to life when she FEELS SAFE ENOUGH to move forward. Journaling and meditation (and lately painting in my journals, but I don’t think that’s necessary, we all need to follow our own creative flow about what we do in our journals) I just spent some time journaling and now this whole dynamic feels different.

Lately, spending lots of time with my Dream Book is helping me grow self trust.

So grateful for this!

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Another conversation with my resistance and “I’m not ready” Read More »

I appreciate my resistance today

By Andrea Schroeder / March 19, 2024 / daily practice, healing, inner work, journaling, resistance project

It feels rich and transformative.

I’m still resisting it.

But sitting here, beside it, feels full of possibility.

I drew it out in my journal: me beside this spiral pool.

I sat with it, wondering why I wasn’t just diving in.

And I noticed more about it. The pool itself is a rainbow - not bright colours but an oil slick kind of rainbow, iridescent with possibility.

And I knew if I dived in, everything I want would be in there.

And then I drew that out… the pool above, rays of light streaming down, trees, flowers, soft grass to sit on and another pool. This one is the pool of healing and dreams come true.

And still, I am not diving in.

Sitting here beside it feels right. I’m acclimating and integrating.

I don’t think acclimating and integrating get enough credit.

(After I wrote this, we ended up having a RICH discussion about acclimating and integration on the March New Moon call)

These are powerful tools, and so many people skip by them, wanting to rush the process.

But without them, you can’t really HOLD ON to your dreams.

Acclimating and integrating is where you get grounded.

I’m appreciating how far I’ve come, to hit this new wave of resistance.

I’m appreciating how CLEAR I feel about my next steps and how brave my plan is. And of course a BRAVE PLAN is going to stir things up which is going to bring on the resistance.

And today I’m just letting it be here. Appreciating resistance as a partner in the journey. Appreciating that working WITH my resistance will bring me healing and new possibilities.

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I appreciate my resistance today Read More »

Asking bigger questions + giving those questions more space

By Andrea Schroeder / March 7, 2024 / daily practice, inner work, intention, journaling, resistance project

I am using a year-long tracker (from the Dream Plan Kit) to track when I work on my year-long Resistance Project.

There are a LOT of days not marked off.

We’re only a little over 2 months into the new year and already I’m showing up so much less…

Is what I thought was happening until I looked deeper.

What’s actually happening is I am asking much BIGGER questions.

And then taking time to be in the space of having questions without answers.

THIS DOES NEED TIME.

Rushing to FIND ANSWERS does not move you forward in the way that GIVING THE QUESTIONS MORE TIME does.

GIVING THE QUESTIONS MORE TIME moves you deeper into it, where whole new possibilities exist.

And I know it can be hard to see the difference between FINDING ANSWERS and GIVING THE QUESTIONS MORE TIME… but give it more time, you’ll see.

The new Moon Intention Setting + Alchemy Meditation Call is TODAY!!!! Dream Book members - get the call details here. The replay will be on that page a few hours after we're done the call.

If you're not in Dream Book, you can get the New Moon Intention Setting Guided Journal here! This is the same process that we do on the calls, in a workbook format!

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Asking bigger questions + giving those questions more space Read More »

If you have a problem to solve or a change to make

By Andrea Schroeder / March 6, 2024 / daily practice, inner work, intention, journaling, resistance project

If you have a problem to solve or a change to make: are you spending time with it every day?

Why or why not?

As a part of my year-long project of exploring my resistance this year, this is what I’ve been wondering.

There IS a thing I want to change.

And I keep thinking “Oh! I want to change this!”

But am I showing up and being in the process of change every day?

No.

Why?

So many reasons spring to mind but they’re all actually just excuses…

And then I found a new question:

Am I in resistance here, or do I just have a really critical inner voice that I am (rightfully!) avoiding?

My “YOU SHOULD HAVE ALREADY FIGURED THIS OUT” voice is very loud. And it makes me so uncomfortable, it’s throwing this sticky shame all over me.

So, yeah, that’s not really resistance that’s self preservation.

Because CONSCIOUSLY I wasn’t really aware of how much damage this voice was causing.

But sitting with questions-without-answers and staying with the uncomfortable feelings can shift perspective and I am starting to see it.

So now I can focus on this, as a way in to exploring the thing I want to explore.

The new Moon Intention Setting + Alchemy Meditation Call is tomorrow! This is open to all Dream Book members - get the call details here.

If you're not in Dream Book, you can get the New Moon Intention Setting Guided Journal here! This is the same process that we do on the calls, in a workbook format!

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

If you have a problem to solve or a change to make Read More »

OMG Resistance

By Andrea Schroeder / February 13, 2024 / daily practice, healing, inner work, Manifest Your Dream Life, resistance project

The Exploring Resistance + Creative Flow call is happening this Thursday! Dream Book members, get the call details here.

I started the resistance project in January.

A year of exploring, healing and making art with my resistance.

I dove in excitedly in January. I learned/remembered a whole bunch of things that work for me. I removed all games from my phone, I cut my screen time way down, I increased my daily step count, I firmed up my routines and structure/organizing.

And now, I still have all of these things in place that help nurture creative flow so I feel less resistance… and I have more creative flow... and yet sometimes I am still just RIGHT IN IT.

IDON’TWANNA

This came up on our New Moon call last week - how a lot of us feel like we’re overwhelmed and it’s just REALLY HARD to do the things we want to do.

I think it’s good to remember that there are external forces acting that ARE making it harder. The state of the world DOES impact our mental state.

Creative Dreaming is LIVING AS A VISIONARY and this is actually a big deal. It’s exhausting even in the best of times and these are not the best of times.

So it’s understandable that I have these days some days.

AND I really want to explore my resistance consistently this year so…

This morning my resistance shows up as:

Resistance to going for my morning walk to a coffee shop. My plan was to go to the “45 minute walk” coffee shop. But it is cold and windy, and after 2 weeks of un-heard of warm weather it means switching back into winter gear and maybe that’s too much today… so I bargained with myself… what about the 30 minute walk place? Or the 20 minute walk place, I mean we don’t like that place very much but 20 minutes feels so doable, right? Or… I mean there is a 1 minute walk coffee shop too... Can we do that?

Nope. The thought of getting dressed and going into the world was a big NO this morning. (Being self employed and the freedom it brings is one of my biggest dreams, and I recognize how lucky I am to be able to make this choice.)

But, even comfy at home in my PJs with my coffee and my cat Bear snuggled up in his bean bag chair beside my desk I have a lot of mental resistance today.

I feel HEAVY.

I also feel resistance to the resistance. Like WTF ANDREA? Just do the things that you DO want to do!

I look out the window. Maybe I will go out? Exercise and fresh air may be all I need?

On the other hand, maybe I need a break? A day off?

There is nothing urgent I need to do today BUT there is something I really do want to do. And that’s another thing we talked about on the New Moon call… how we can rally and get the stuff done that needs to happen. How none of us would just not show up for our clients. But then we end up not showing up for ourselves as well - that we don’t get to those projects that don’t have any external deadlines.

So I feel 50/50 - yes a day off would be nice AND totally justifiable. And yes a whole day to work on that project that I really do want to do feels really good.

My pre-pandemic self felt this way so rarely, that when I did feel this way I tended to take it as a sign that I needed a break, and take it.

But since 2020 I feel this way much more often, and I actually don’t want to take that many breaks. I want to move my projects forward.

OK! Good information!

I have resistance AND resistance to the resistance AND this inner knowing about what I actually DO want to do.

So what’s in my way?

(This is where I pop onto Facebook to see if there is anything interesting happening there)

No! Come back! We are journaling our way THROUGH this! Keep going!

What’s in my way?

I think about doing what I want to do, and I get a “brain swirl”.

What’s the brain swirl?

I sit with that a few minutes. It’s this tiny little part of me who is riding some kind of spacecraft that swirls around in my head, trying to create an energy stream that directs my thinking away from this project.

Wow, interesting! Why?

She wants to go get ice cream.

OK well that is SUPER interesting, because there is an ice cream shop near one of the places we could go to work this morning. But do you think this is literal - like part of you want to get ice cream? Or do you think it’s more like she wants to go play and not think about work?

I think she is BRAIN SWIRLING us right now and we can’t stay focused on what we are trying to process.

Right, yeah.

OK I think it’s obvious that if I stay home I’m just going to swirl around in my thoughts and not do this thing. AND I am resisting the plan I had made. So we need to come up with a new plan!

Oh I just realized what the problem is.

That project I want to work on today. It’s “starting something new” and “working on a thing that really matters to me” and both of those things bring up ALL THE THINGS.

The vulnerability of trying something new.

The fear that it won’t work out.

The doubt that I can really pull it off in the way I want to.

The “why bother? No one cares”

The worry that it will be too hard.

The worry that no one will understand what I am trying to do.

THE THINGS that come up for everyone with their dreams at some point. For me it happens mostly at the start, and then again right before it’s done.

Having named “the resistance” for what it is, and having worked through all of these fears/doubts so many times over the years (there is a whole library of inner work practices for this in Dream Book!) I just need to find the gentlest way to begin.

NAMING it really shifts it.

Instead of “some weird brain swirl that won’t let me focus” I know “this is hard and scary because it’s so vulnerable to start a new thing”.

And I know what helps with this:

Un-Sticking Station or other practices from the Library of Inner Work

Dream Self process to connect with the part of me who knows how to do this

Dream Lab process to connect with my enthusiasm for doing this

And now I feel ready to get started.

Making space to process all of our thoughts and feelings will naturally bring you to your truth. Your truth will include HOW MUCH you want to do the things you want to do - even when they are scary.

SO excited to explore this on the Exploring Resistance + Creative Flow call on Thursday! If you're not in Dream Book, now is a great time to join!

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

OMG Resistance Read More »

resistance project

If you want to succeed at ______ then you have to ______.

When it comes to unsolicited advice, always feel free to just reject it and never think about it again.

But if you did ask for advice, before you reject it, it’s good to understand WHY that was the advice that was given.

It’s not enough to say - I don’t want to do video. You have to identify what you will do instead.

When you do that, you are letting your fear of your feelings control your life.

Resources from the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership:

I put pillows on the floor and got really comfy and really got into it…

My dreams feel far away right now.

The work is always only to keep showing up.

Art is calling. And I feel too heavy and tired to answer.

So here is what I suggest when you’re in this situation:

If you are doing all of that, you will naturally come to a place where the question shifts from “how do I go back to have the energy I used to have” to “how do I move forward, with what I have now?”

Work smarter not harder can be applied in so many ways. Work smarter not faster is a good one.

It’s complicated!

There is this shift for me in my relationship with and feelings about this dream I've been working on.

I also saw how much I am RESISTING deepening my creative practice.

So to help me figure out how to do this, I am re-starting Dream Book with this new dream.

After listening to that podcast I thought... what I really want from this time is to experience it as a CREATIVE PORTAL.

And I don't think we need to be in perimenopause to decide to be in a CREATIVE PORTAL.

This is one of the things I've been doing in my journal lately and I LOVE IT.

As discussed, I've been stuck and I've been circling around some stuff for some time. But this is good!

The whole thing about showing up for your dream as a PRACTICE as that the practice itself becomes a container that holds your PROCESS of becoming the version of you who can do the thing.

Sometimes, like has been happening for me for a while - you are circling something. And you need that time to circle!

And then that all blew up.

I want my creative time to be fruitful.

But I have not been loving the whole vibe around “productive”

But now I want the Creative Dream Incubator to be a meadow.

And I get so frustrated with it. But I want to be curious about it instead, so let’s try…

Umm ok this doesn’t feel fruitful. I mean - do we just point fingers and call each other avoiders?

A few hours, I felt into this in a new way.

Lately, spending lots of time with my Dream Book is helping me grow self trust.

I drew it out in my journal: me beside this spiral pool.

And still, I am not diving in.

These are powerful tools, and so many people skip by them, wanting to rush the process.

I am using a year-long tracker (from the Dream Plan Kit) to track when I work on my year-long Resistance Project.

THIS DOES NEED TIME.

If you have a problem to solve or a change to make: are you spending time with it every day?

Am I in resistance here, or do I just have a really critical inner voice that I am (rightfully!) avoiding?

I started the resistance project in January.

IDON’TWANNA

This morning my resistance shows up as:

So what’s in my way?

Oh I just realized what the problem is.

NAMING it really shifts it.

And now I feel ready to get started.

If you want to succeed at then you have to .