Journaling

What are you leaving behind? What are you embracing as your way forward?

I started painting a mural in my new creative work/play/dream space. Painting this mural feels like I am calling in the energy of my next-level self into my space. I love it.

In December we did the Releasing Ceremony for releasing the things we didn't want to bring into 2023. (The replay is available to all Dream Book members) On Monday we're doing the next part of it: a blessing ceremony for our dreams for 2023.

I still feel this releasing process happening in me. Habits, routines, ways of doing things that felt good are starting to feel constrictive and worn out.

Without judging myself for doing things the way I was doing them when that worked for me - I am starting to want to do things in new ways which are surprising and delighting me.

I am giving myself LOTS of space with this, but I am starting to fill journals with all of of my new ideas and plans as I dream up HOW I want to be next.

This feels like an important threshold. And I am giving myself all the space I need to navigate it.

Everything really can change. The things you are dreaming of are not only possible - they are your sacred calling.

You can absolutely do this AND you need to give yourself space to DO THIS.

PS: Remember the Year of Dreams 2023 planner has a whole year of dreaming/planning printables!

You get a new activity each week for playing your way into your dream - plus a few extras. 54 different journaling prompts, visualizations, qualities to bring into your week, alchemy processes, different ways of looking at your dreams, your obstacles - all the stuff we love to do.

You can get the planning/dreaming kit on it's own, or with the Year of Dreams 2023 planner right here.

On NOT getting the big goal for 2022

It's 4 am. I was wide awake, writing in my head, so I decided to make myself a latte and come upstairs to my studio and write for real.

My daily blogging challenge is over and I have blogged every day for six weeks!

I've been thinking back to when it started and some of the ways it felt awkward and uncomfortable, which is so interesting because now it feels so easy because I have a routine with it.

I may stop sharing the daily posts (I mean for my public blog - I'll keep doing them in here). I don't know know yet and I don't feel any pressure to figure out my next steps right this minute.

But I do feel like this experiment was 100% a success. It doesn't have to become a "forever thing" to be worth doing.

Over the last two years my big dream has been becoming the artist and writer I want to be.

This is a much more expansive dream than I can really put into words but that kind of sums it up.

And it's not really about what I am doing or how it is reaching people, it's about how I feel and how I am using my creative energy.

I don't take for granted that my business has stayed stable throughout all of the instability of the last two years. I don't take for granted that I've had a lot of new opportunities this last year especially, to share my work in new places, in new ways. And I don't take for granted that, thanks to my business, I actually DO have the time to become the artist and writer I want to be.

I have talked about how I've failed in some of the business goals I had for this year. But at the same time - really good things have happened that I wasn't planning for, and I had opportunities I wasn't going after, and so my business also grew in ways I wasn't expecting or planning for.

That's how it is with dreams. There are no guarantees, but more often than not your dreams will surprise you if you stay devoted to them.

Another way I grew this last year was in my own relationship with myself. So many aspects of my inner world have shifted in ways that astound me.

When I compare the business goals I didn't reach with the ways I grew and changed I feel like I got the better gift, if that makes sense. The ways I've changed on the INSIDE feel so much more significant than the ways I wanted some things to change on the outside.

And I feel more than capable of achieving my goals.

AND I have more clarity about where I've been ambivalent about those goals.

AND I think in 2023, as I keep working with the same goal, I am going to find all new ways to approach it. I think something in me needed to change before I could see a different way.

Creative Dreaming is a practice and a process. Not a destination.

I share a lot more about the places where I stumble and flail than I share about the things that go well.

This is because I want to normalize the idea that some parts are hard, and that the hard parts actually heal, teach and grow us in important ways. Because I want to encourage you to never give up on yourself.

Our culture shoves perfectionism on us as though anyone who stumbles, doubts or fails along the way is not worthy of having their dreams and should give up immediately.

We all deserve everything. But I don't meant that in a capitalist hoarding kind of way. I mean we are all equally deserving of the things that are necessary for a good life.

Your Creative Dream is a map from your soul that shows you who you really are.

Using this map to navigate your path will bring you the healing and magic that you need most, right now, while it also grow you into the version of you who is doing your next-level dreams.

To me - the healing and magic I receive from engaging with my dreams in this way is as important, if not more so, than the external outcomes. This is the thing I want most in my life, and I get to choose to have it, every day.

So, for 2023, I will keep enjoying the process.

Rest IS the next step (Weekly Dream Status Report)

On Fridays I post my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. 

My Dream Status Report:

PART ONE: (sometimes these can stay the same for months at time, sometimes they change often)

My dream is: BEING the artist + writer I want to be. This is the "big picture" dream - this includes lots of different inner + outer things, which I am working on clarifying in my new Dream Book.

I want it because: It feels like TIME

When I have it I will feel: More in the flow, more creative and like... feeling fully expressed. Right now it's like I have sooo much TO express, I would like to feel more fully EXPRESSED.

My new moon intention: VERY SPECIFIC business goal (which feels like a goal, not a dream, but a goal that can support future dreams)

 

PART TWO: Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.

The Field of Creative Dream Alchemy is an ice castle all lit up with coloured lights.

My dream is a warm fuzzy feeling in my heart.

I call in the soul of my business to join us. It shows up as the Northern Lights above us.

It feels like - everything is fuzzy right now, that's ok. I feel distant from this work, and that's ok. I know all of the magic is waiting for me as soon as I choose to come back to it.

 

PART THREE:

Last week’s focus was: Be/stay well rested and restore (stay away from overwhelm)

What happened in the last week? I did stay away from overwhelm! I got very close, and remembered by focus, and did what I had to, to calm down. But at the same time, I did DO too much. Yesterday I did almost nothing and still feel like I need to do more nothing, to let my system process everything from the holidays.

One great thing happened: on boxing day I remembered I had wanted to buy Christmas lights to hang over the new bedroom. It's in the high ceiling part of the loft, and I had some lights hanging over the bed, but I needed a much longer string and when I look online all the options have different blinking patterns and I want just steady ON and good enough quality to use this for a good long time. So on Boxing Day I went to the hardware store and their lights were already 75% off and there was only 1 big wheel, 75' string of white lights which felt excessive but I took it. Then at the cash register it was like 75% off of the 75% off. They charged me $5. And I put up the lights and it's MAGICAL and this is making me really happy.

What am I learning/How do I feel about this? I just feel tired. I enjoyed the holidays AND it was too many events in too short a time.

What do I need now? More rest. I really want to get to work on my creative projects but my brain is like.... no. Not yet.

What does my dream need now? Oh! The warm fuzzy feeling in my heart wants a pillow and blanket.

Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is: Rest! Rest is nourishing. Rest IS the next steps, it's not the thing that helps me get to the next steps. Honour rest.

Looking back, looking forward

In these last few days of the year, I'm having a hard time really connecting with my practice.

I had a wonderful holiday, but it was still a lot, and now I need down time. So I am tidying, and journaling, and doing creative projects while dreaming of how I want to start my new year.

Today I am thinking back and I wrote... I almost a biography. It just felt really helpful to write my story in this way, so here it is:

I have always been highly creative and intuitive. When I was five years old, I was dreaming of re-decorating the bathroom in our basement, spending hours delighting in planning out colour schemes. I have been able to spirits since I was a young child and I have always felt guided by wise and helpful non-physical beings.

My connection to my creative/intuitive/spiritual self has always been really really powerful.

AND

My self doubt and fear that I am not good enough have also always been really really powerful.

I graduated from Ryerson University in 1998 with a degree in fashion design and a passion for surface design. I knew even then that the thing I wanted to do most was help other people get in touch with the big magic I felt from intuitive/spiritual approaches to creativity.

And, of course, I had no clue how to DO that.

I was a textile artist, a writer, a costume designer, and I worked crappy jobs in between to make ends meet while I never gave up believing that the work that felt the most meaningful to me, the work that felt like it was my career and my purpose, would one day sustain me financially.

It wasn't until 2007 - which is not even 10 years later, but it felt like an absolute eternity at the time - when I was 3 years into my training as a spiritual teacher, that I started putting on my own creativity workshops, blending meditation and healing with the magic of creative play.

And then it was 2010 when I decided to make this work my full time job.

And here we are at the end of 2022, and my business, the Creative Dream Incubator, has been steadily supporting me for these last twelve years. And in all honesty, I have been frustrated by a lack of business growth for the last three years, but I've also been amazed by how my business has stayed solid and steady even in the face of all that has happened since 2020.

I believe in the magic and value of creative dreams. I believe in the EPIC POWER of creative dreams.

AND I do still experience moments when my self doubt, fear and uncertainty feel just as powerful.

Now, at 48 years old, I understand so much more about how our world shapes us. About how our culture fails us. That we are born with magic in us, and our culture teaches us to dim that magic and shape ourselves into little cogs so we can better fit into the capitalist machine.

Now, at 48 years old, I know I have major sensory processing issues and am likely autistic but I was born at a time when girls were shaped by our culture to bury our own needs so deep we didn't know what they were and so autistic girls were rarely diagnosed. So by the time I was an adult I knew how to put my needs aside in order to fit in with what the world wanted me to be.

It was my creative dreams that showed me that compromising my own needs dims my light, deflates my power, and steals my joy.

It was my creative dreams that taught me how to set up my life in a way that works for me.

It was my creative dreams that showed me where I needed to do deeper healing work.

A creative dream is whatever it is that you are dreaming of.

It's "creative" in the sense that it's yours to create in your life. It's easy to think that a creative dream needs to be some big impressive thing like writing a book that saves the world, but that's actually one of the lies this world tells us to try to keep us from our dreams. Whatever inspires and intrigues you IS your creative dream - there really isn't a way to pick the "wrong" dream. The work is listening to your dreams and bringing them into fruition in your life help you align more deeply with your own inner truth which leads the way to deeper dreams. We are all FULL of dreams.

In the last twelve years with the Creative Dream Incubator, I have learned that our creative dreams absolutely hold the key to everything we need.

This means they will make you look at the things you'd rather avoid. They will ask you to take responsibility for your behaviours. They will push you to be braver than you think you are.

They will remind you that you are more than you think you are. They will show you that you are the magic.

All of the ways that we WAIT are manifestations of our fear and doubt. These are the places in you that need healing.

There is ALWAYS something you can do with your dreams.

There is ALWAYS a next step you can take.

I can show you a way to ALWAYS be able to see that next steps.

I can show you ways to work with your dreams even when you're stuck, afraid and convinced they are impossible.

I can show you how to heal and grow your way into who you really are.

This work been my mission for as long as I can remember and at 48 years old and I am so grateful that I have created an approach to creative dreaming that works, consistently, no matter how afraid you are or how many obstacles you have. My Creative Dream Alchemy framework works WITH the fears, stucks and obstacles while also working WITH your inspiration, creativity and inner wisdom.

I think it's BECAUSE I have so much self doubt and creative resistance that I have become exceptional at this work. I will never ask anyone to "fake it till they make it" or "just work harder". I understand the deeper issues at play, and I know the magic of working on those deeper issues to give your natural creativity, inspiration and momentum more space to bloom.

I am wildly grateful to be right where I am, and thrilled about what I want to do next.

In these last few days of the year, I am pausing, making space to sit with the question:

What do I really want next?

 

Dream Book members: Want to discuss? Click here to find this post on our private blog with comments section.

Not in Dream Book yet? Click here to find out more + join us.

There ARE times when it all comes together

I woke up this morning feeling DESPERATE to sit in a coffee shop and write. On Dreams and Privilege and Changing The World.

Photo from June 2021 on another magical day when things came together for me and I still remember spending that morning in the park, writing.

One place where people sometimes get lost with my work is in how non-linear it is.

And I wish I could do something about that, but the work IS non-linear. If there was some straight line that led from where you to where your dream is - well that would be nice! But there really isn't.

The path isn't just non-linear, it's non-directional and also multi-dimensional.

The last few weeks my posts have felt like they are all over the place - discovering things, getting stuck, discovering other things, re-discovering a thing I already discovered, getting un-stuck, getting new ideas, all the things sometimes seemed disconnected from each other.

But then days like today come along and ALL THE THINGS GET TIED TOGETHER.

And THEN it makes sense that so many seemingly disconnected things kept coming up in my daily practice.

Because I needed all of them to come together in just the right way for me to see my new project.

This project feels like the answer to ALL of the questions I’ve been sitting with this past year - maybe even two years.

And I’m not ready to share the details of it, but today I am starting working on it. I was up early, and came to my favourite place downtown because I wanted that “working out of a coffee shop vibe” to get this started, and so here I am. Starting.

Dream Book members: Want to discuss? Click here to find this post on our private blog with comments section.

Not in Dream Book yet? Click here to find out more + join us.

The Joy of Dreaming

(Sharing a photo of me in the sweet little bakery/coffee shop near me that I want to spend time in this week. It's a wood-fired bakery, so they have the fire going all morning and it's sooooo warm, perfect in the winter!)

During the New Moon call we did on Dec 21, I had such an intense sensation of connecting with the version of me who has done the thing I want to do and the thing that struck me is:

She's so CHILL, like chiller than I have ever been. She said to me "This is SO easy." and showed me some of the things she does. It made me feel so SURE.

I've been thinking about how, these last two years, I am not following through as "well" as I used to. Some things are taking a lot longer to do. Some things are just not getting done.

And it has felt like a real struggle. I want to do things, but... so much gets in the way, mostly lack of focus and having less energy. I used to move quickly between Dream Work, Inner Work and Outer Work.

And today - I am feeling the joy of staying in the Dream Work. Dreaming about it. Planning it. Being excited about and not rushing to DO it.

I'm feeling GRACE for myself for the last two years. And I am looking forward to 2023.

 

Dream Book members: Want to discuss? Click here to find this post on our private blog with comments section.

Not in Dream Book yet? Click here to find out more + join us.

Creative Dream Resentment

The holiday season can easily trigger Creative Dream Resentment: That feeling you get when there is something you want to be doing, but you can't do it.

I want to rest, but I am going to a different holiday party every night!

I want to work on my art, but I had to clean up my studio and use it as a guest room for visiting family.

And so on...

The thing is, most people do LIKE the holidays. We enjoy the parties and want the visiting family to be here.

AND

We also want to do the things we want to do.

AND

Our Creative Dreams aren't just "wants" they are deep and important soul-level needs.

Our Creative Dreams touch such deep places in us that they can trigger really big feelings.

And those big feelings can feel startling and uncomfortable and unwelcome - especially during the holidays when we're all supposed to be jolly.

If you are feeling some of this:

Hand on heart. Take 5 deep breaths.While you do that, think about how ALL of your feelings are perfectly and completely valid. Even the ones that conflict with each other. Even the ones that you are judging. They're all valid.

Notice the shape and texture of your resentment and where it lands in your body. Notice how nuanced and layered it is.

Normally I feel we shouldn't rush this work or try to move it to any particular outcome, but because it's the holidays and no one has time for long and honest emotional processes: look specifically for the LOVE and ENTHUSIASM that you have for your Creative Dreams.

Resentment has a lot of different feelings in it, but LOVE and ENTHUSIASM are usually in there too. The LOVE and ENTHUSIASM that you have for your Creative Dream that is being hampered by other things is usually at the root of Creative Dream Resentment.

Focus on the LOVE and ENTHUSIASM that you have for your Creative Dreams.

APPRECIATE the LOVE and ENTHUSIASM that you feel for your Creative Dreams!

And promise yourself you'll make space for these important soul-level NEEDS of yours, soon. Just not today.

Or - cancel Christmas and go do your dreams!

Or - something else. Usually resentment is a call for boundaries, but you may not have time to delve into that work today.

How can you bring your LOVE and ENTHUSIASM for your Creative Dreams into your holiday celebrations? What is the easiest way to do this RIGHT NOW?

Stay Away From Overwhelm (Weekly Dream Status Report)

On Fridays I post my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. 

My Dream Status Report:

PART ONE: (sometimes these can stay the same for months at time, sometimes they change often)

My dream is: BEING the artist + writer I want to be. This is the "big picture" dream - this includes lots of different inner + outer things, which I am working on clarifying in my new Dream Book.

I want it because: This feels so enticing and important. Like I've outgrown who I was and it's time to be who I am now.

When I have it I will feel: More in the flow, more creative and like... feeling fully expressed. Right now it's like I have sooo much TO express, I would like to feel more fully EXPRESSED.

My new moon intention for this month: VERY SPECIFIC business goal for the end of the year

 

PART TWO: Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.

The Field of Creative Dream Alchemy feels very distinctly like it is INSIDE ME. I invite in my dream and realize - of course my dream lives inside me.

I know I have said "your dream is inside you, not outside" many times but I am feeling it differently today.

My dream shows up as sunrise. Beautiful, colourful, full of light, and INEVITABLE - but also impossible to rush. I see the beginnings of it off on the horizon.

I call in the soul of my business to join us. It shows up as a light above me, kind of light a spotlight, not like a sun that lights up everything. Oh wow! It's shining it's light very specifically on my hands, which are holding the project I started working on this week.

It feels like - this project helps you move towards the dream.

 

PART THREE:

Last week’s focus was: Still - do the next thing that feels like magic. Have a clear list of what I want to get done and keep checking in with my body + feelings about what I need next.

What happened in the last week? I did not get that clear list of things written out. I do have a longer list, but didn't narrow in what I want to do this week. I do think I still have "Covid brain". I will look at that list again today to see - what absolutely needs to get done before Christmas? While I'll have a lot of down time next week, I do want to work for a few hours each morning, so I can also make a list of what needs to get done before the end of the year.

Mostly this week, I had a very intense time in my practice, I feel like I broke through a big old stuck and I found clarity about this new business project, which is also a huge and satisfying creative project. I feel like, after all this time wanting this new dream and knowing I want to do things differently than I have been, but not knowing what, exactly, "different" means - now I have some direction. A project to begin with. So it feels like I am starting out at the beginning AND it feels like it took a LOT of work to figure out where the beginning even is.

What am I learning/How do I feel about this? I feel really excited to have found a path/project that I want to explore.

What do I need now? I have been getting overwhelmed from all of the "holiday stuff" - even when I say no to so many things, there are still so many things! I need rest. I am excited about this project AND I want to go slowly with it, for now at least.

What does my dream need now? Oh! Now the spotlight is shining on a blanket and pillow. Being well rested can help nurture this project. Also it feels like - now that I have a clear project/path/direction to get started with, it's good to go SLOW and give all of my ideas time to incubate.

Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is: Be/stay well rested and restore (stay away from overwhelm)

My practice is INTENSE this week!

 

On wanting to do thing, but not doing the thing

My practice is INTENSE this week!

The way it's happened is that I've had SO MUCH happening in my practice that I started writing more than one post a day which is really great because that gave me a few days to process things.

I feel like that sense of "something is off" was growing for a month and then when I finally looked it, it created such a huge shift for me, in terms of how I feel about and see my options for what I want to do.

I started a new project. Like a BIG new project. I don't know if it will become as big as I am seeing it right now, but I do know I feel ALL THE ENERGY for this, and so I dove into it wholeheartedly.

I've been working on it a few hours every morning to explore all of my ideas and give the project a sense of shape. Like it's so new, I have no clue what it really can be. So I am writing, drawing, exploring, brainstorming, feeling REALLY EXCITED about the project.

And - not quite ready to share what it is yet, because I do know it's early enough that it could chance significantly.

But I FEEL INSPIRED AND EXCITED and I am making space to explore this. This feels like everything.

You’ve got a lot of magic in you.

And I’ve got a lot of tools, tips and practices to help you use it more effectively as FUEL for your DREAMS.

 

Start today! Get access to ALL of my free classes* here:

*Included classes:

 

Your Next Steps: a journaling + meditation class for navigating your next steps with your dream.

Help! I'm Stuck!: a 4 day class for getting un-stuck and transforming your stuck energy into FUEL for your dream.

The Hard Parts Are Where The Magic Happens: 80 minute healing circle and inner work workshop

Soothe*Restore*Grow: 80 minue deep dive into healing pandemic overwhelm and growing into your wildest dreams for what's next