This is how I used meditation and journaling to get out of a "stuck" this morning.
I share my honest and vulnerable journaling because I want to BE THE CHANGE I want to see in the world. I want to live in a world where the majority of people are doing this work: listening DEEPLY to their dreams, understanding/respecting their dreams as their SOUL CALLING, and doing the work of answering those calls.
This work is complex! Your dreams are asking for healing and spiritual/emotional/creative growth on many levels at the same time.
Actually engaging in all of this LOOKS LIKE A MESS.
I know sometimes people read the things I share and think I am a mess. That's fine. I am sharing this for the people who get it and the people who want to get it.
Because this is how we PRACTICE our way into our dreams.
I did my Hello Day meditation this morning, and when i got to the part where I invited the soul of my dream in, it changed everything. My dream came in with CLARITY and it felt like it sharpened everything. From vague, hazy ideas to THIS! DO THIS! NOW! THEN DO THIS!
Which felt so great.
Then I went into my day and it’s like… I feel disoriented. I got up to put a load of laundry in. Then I got up to look through the fridge and see about making a snack when I asked myself “Are you hungry?” and I said “No, I just wanted to get up from my desk because it’s so uncomfortable there.”
The discomfort is: Now I have all of these great ideas for things to do, I definitely want to do them all, but I can’t seem to just… focus on one and do it. When I try to do that, I keep thinking of the other ones.
I do have Journal Prompts For When you Have Too Many Ideas And Can’t Pick One To Focus On <--- this is an older blog post, not something in the membership, so anyone can access this.
But I want to go deeper into the ALCHEMY of Creative Dream Alchemy.
So here I am, meeting the discomfort in the Un-Sticking Station Meditation, the one with all three steps together.
This is a 30 minute meditation and I did have to have a little negotiation with myself to even start it.
“But we don’t have time! We have all this stuff to do!”
“But we’re not doing any of the things, we’re just going in circles”
“But still! We're MOVING! Let’s keep going!”
“No, we are just going in circles, I want to do this so that we can make PROGRESS”
This one part of me still didn’t want to do this, but I just kind of put my foot down, put my headphones on, and started.
The mediation feels so DREAMY. I calm down about feeling stuck.
When my stuck shows up, it’s a snail juggling 5 big balls. Each ball is way bigger than the snail and the snail seems to be really enjoying himself, he's smiling.
My first though is - well I could actually focus on other things today, and Thursday and Friday could be my days where I get focused and work on these projects, like maybe that fits my schedule better anyway to do it that way?
Maybe it doesn’t matter that I feel unfocused today?
Then when I offer my stuck love, I offer it permission to just… keep juggling.
But then the snail stops smiling and it’s like… I can’t juggle forever. This is only really fun for a few minutes.
And I say… OK that’s fine, you can put them down.
Snail FREAKS THE HECK OUT.
No, the balls can’t just be put down they need to have proper spaces to rest in, other wise I am DROPPING THE BALL and we can’t DROP THE BALL!!!
Ok wow. I did not realize how fraught this all feels. I find 5 big pillows, take each ball from the snail one at a time, and place them on pillows.
I don’t like this!!!! The balls can roll off the pillows at anytime! Says the snail.
Yes I know, I say, this is temporary so you can stop judging and we can come up with safe and nurturing homes for each ball.
OMG I love this, the snail is grinning from ear to ear now.
Then I go to my journal, where I had already written out each project, in a bubble (Ha! I guess that’s where the juggling balls came from) and now I am writing out what this project needs to be safely “rested” until I can work on it so that no balls get dropped.
Once journaling, I saw that “making a home” for each bubble meant making a schedule for the week, with space for everything.
(Usually I just have a list of “things I want to do this week” and do the things that match my energy in the moment and, over many years of doing this I have developed a trust that everything will get handled but this week that trust feels like a stretch)
Then I stopped the meditation 21 minutes in. At that point I had one bubble/project that was yelling “I AM 100% PANIC! YOU ARE ABOUT TO DROP ME!” though I felt like I was not about to drop it, it’s just not a priority for this week. It DOES need some focused attention, but next week is fine so writing a note about it in my project management app AND my planner feels like a good way to keep it safe from being dropped.
Mostly it’s like… this is a longer term project I have been slowly working on and some of these ideas projects just kind of popped up and so this project feels worried (of course, everything in the meditation is projections, so a part of me is worried!) that other things will keep popping up and I’ll never get to it so I tried to assure it that this won’t happen, it’s just that these are all short term things and it is a long term thing and that helped it to feel less panicked.
So where am I now? Do I need to finish the meditation?
Oh! One thing pops into my mind. Climate change.
I saw this morning that where I live in Winnipeg, we are experiencing climate change 2X more than average. And Canada’s arctic is experience it 4x more!
But what that means for me, today, is that we had a weird spring where the “spring things” didn’t happen the way they usually do because we had winter weather well into when we usually have spring weather. And then this week it just jumped into summer. And everything suddenly FEELS different including my ceiling fan is on all the time so there is this new noise in my space. I didn’t have the gradual shift from winter to summer like I have had for 50 years… last year was the same as this year, plus terrifying wildfires on top of that.
So yeah, it makes sense that I feel a little unsettled and that can make it harder to focus.
BUT
I feel good about the plan I came up with in the meditation. I like planning from inside a meditation inside the Field of Creative Dream Alchemy because then I know I am planning from a place of being as connected as possible to possibility and dreams.
And, as I think about actually picking up this ONE project and focusing on it for the rest of the day, all of the other projects feel good! They are resting, they know when they’ll be picked up again, no one is worried about being dropped.
SO: I am going to make a cup of tea, bring it upstairs to my bedroom, to sit in bed with my laptop, to write and hopefully record (I record from inside my bedroom closet, the quietest place I have) two new Hello Day meditations.
Since our Co-Dreaming on Friday I have been thinking about what one person said about not liking Hello Day and wanting to focus on THE BIG DREAM. And it makes sense, Hello Day is for holding space for ourselves it’s not about BIG DREAMING (but it can lead to that!) the Dream Lab meditation is better for that (this person is using that) but I thought…
I’d like to do a version of Hello Day (specifically focused on how I am showing up TODAY) where you are looking at: how do I show up today for my BIGGEST dream? And that gave me an idea for a Hello Day I would like to have where you invite the soul of your business in and look at priorities (kind of like I did here today) and: taking everything I have going on and everything I want to do into account, how do I show up for my business goals today?
So - I am going to do that.
That thing where I was distracting myself and it felt really hard to pick a thing and settle into it is gone. I am ready to get to work.
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