When you say you’ve tried everything and nothing works, what do you actually mean?

That you’ve tried all the things you know to try?

That you’ve tried all the things you are interested in trying?

Because, even if I don’t know you, I do know that you have not tried ALL the things. That’s just not possible.

I say this because this morning I sure feel like I have tried all the things!!

But, if I am honest with myself, I have actually been extremely choosy about which things I try.

As we should be!

OF COURSE I don’t advocate for doing a ton of shit you don’t want to do.

AND your dream is here to grow you. It’s going to stretch you. Some parts are going to be uncomfortable.

So it’s like I have spent a lot of time looking for the most comfortable to do the thing I want to do, and now it’s time to… just do it.

Do the work I have not wanted to do.

But this brings up a quandry.

Creative Dreaming is NOT about working your ass off, or following someone else’s, or society’s, rules about “how you should do things”

There are huge swaths of grey area here. Like, there are ways to make an annoying task less annoying. There are a million productivity hacks out there.

But before exploring those, we need to be with the parts of us who don’t want to do the thing. Listen to them.

We need to validate our actual experience.

There are no hacks for this.

But if you just go with the hacks and ignore what parts of your own self are telling you about why they don’t want to do the thing… well, ugh. That can lead to productivity, for some people, sure. But at the cost of wholeness.

So when I talk about making an annoying task less annoying, I want to stay VERY FAR AWAY from productivity life hacks, lying to myself about how I feel and what I want, or any form of bribing myself to do things I do not want to do.

How can I GENUINELY make it FEEL RIGHT to do these things?

Maybe there are hard things to be done. Maybe some parts are uncomfortable. But does it FEEL RIGHT? Am I acting in alignment with my own values?

Am I really listening to myself about HOW to proceed?

That is an especially tricky question to answer when we don’t know how to do the thing we want to do because we haven’t done it before. So we have to leave space for experimenting and learning.

But if we keep making space for our actual feelings, and listening to the parts of us who don’t want to do the things, we do find answers.

I have come to a place where I know - it’s time to do some of the things I have been avoiding.

I even feel somewhat energized to figure out a plan for how to do them. To get some help to move out of my comfort zone.

This is the part that is so hard to put into words because it's entirely non-linear.

But when you STAY WITH IT you do WORK THROUGH IT. Even though it often doesn't look like WORKING THROUGH until you've already worked through.

So - keep showing up!

 

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And when this happens it is SO EASY to get distracted and not do anything.

But I know I need to keep taking steps.

But I know if I take steps while feeling this way, there won’t be any ZING, you know?

And I don’t want to do ZING-less things.

So I am going into the Un-Sticking Station and meeting with the fear.

Awww, fear shows up as a starfish, but a very heavy starfish who is stuck to the bottom of the ocean.

I sit down beside her, she feels like a her. For some reason, I pet her. (Do you remember? I used to have a cat named Starfish, he was an epic cat, though I only had him for the last year of his life)

I’m so sorry you’re feeling so afraid and stuck.

I don’t feel stuck. I like the weight of the ocean holding me down. I want to be down.

Oh, ok. What do you like about being down?

I don’t have to do anything. Don’t even need an excuse.

So, you want to be kind of frozen?

Yeah. Frozen. Still. Weighed down. Just… well I know these words sound like “stuck” but it’s not that. I like it. I want it.

Right, it feels like a freeze nervous system response, which can be a relief. Like, it’s protective.

Yes, the weight of the ocean feels protective.

OK I’m so glad you feel protected! I love that for you and I don’t want you to NOT feel protected. I would like to look at ways to feel more lively, alive and creative WHILE ALSO feeling safe. What do you think about that?

It makes me think of being on the beach, at the surface. In the sunshine. The freedom of that. That feels good.

OK, so when I said “I’m sorry you feel afraid and stuck” and you said you don’t feel stuck - do you feel afraid? Maybe I was misinterpreting you completely?

Well, I was feeling like I wanted to be frozen. Just, not think and not do and not feel. I don’t know if I was afraid.

OK. And now that you are thinking of being on the beach in the sunshine?

That feels better.

Ummmm hi. Over here! (a little… I don’t know, some kind of bug is waving at me)

Oh! Hi, bug.

I’m afraid! I’m very afraid! (Maybe it’s an actual crab, which is funny because I was saying I feel crabby today)

Oh honey I’m sorry. Come here. Do you want a hug? What can I do to help?

Bug comes closer and I see he (he seems like a he)is shaking, so I wrap him up all snug in a blanket and hold him.

So, I get afraid and go into a freeze response. I am mostly in freeze, but a small part of me is still very much filled with fear.

Now I see three versions of me. One frozen, one afraid, and one - well, me. Present self me. Me wanting to sort through this and move forward.

Fearful self: I am so sorry you feel this way. I see you are almost having a panic attack you are so scared. And I want you to know - you don’t have to feel this way. We have sources of comfort and soothing available. What do you need?

Reminders that it will be ok. Rest, no rushing.

A new part of me appears. The part that wants to obliterate fear.

My fearful self hides behind me for protection.

The part of me that wants to obliterate fear feels dangerous. Like, I think she’s holding a fire gun. Is that what it’s called? It shoots fire. She wants to burn everything down, starting with my fearful self.

OK WHOA. We’re not burning down any of our selves.

My angry self bursts into tears. “But I want to protect my joy by destroying everything that makes me unhappy”

Well I LOVE that sentiment but girl, we can’t destroy parts of US, right? You see that?

I don’t want to be afraid about any of this. I want to feel POWERFUL about it. I want to feel CREATIVE and FREE and like I GOT THIS.

Oh I love that! Yes I think we all want to feel that way and I love the PASSION you bring to this process. Can you put down your weapons though? Can we find a supportive way to help our fearful self not be afraid?

My angry self puts her hands on my fearful self’s shoulders. “Snap out of it. We’re too good for this! We’re too BIG to want to be SMALL and AFRAID. And look around! The world is beautiful! Life is a miracle! There is art to make!”

My fearful self considers this.

And then I wish for a magic wand that brings everyone into present time because my fearful self feels very young and like she doesn’t have options or means to empower herself.

I twirl the wand around and it circles us all and sparkles fall out of it.

We all sit down in a circle, holding hands.

I carry all of these different selves with me but I always have the power to choose who I want to be.

Especially by not denying any parts of me, by giving them space to feel and express AND ALSO have appropriate boundaries.

 

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This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I make space for my dream in my daily life.

Well this one hits like a bomb of tangled feelings. For a few minutes I sit with this growing discomfort growling in my chest.

I was in a good mood before I picked my kit for this week, now I’m crabby.

What gives?

It feels like SO MUCH WORK to get to the life I want next. And I’m tired.

OK, what does this feeling need?

A hug. A mug of tea. Maybe a cookie. Validation. An offer to rest.

She just waves all this away.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever”

Yeah, yeah, whatever? What does that mean?

You’re just doing all the things you do.

You mean, trying my best to take care of my feelings?

[Big sigh and eye roll.]

OK so you’re a teenager.

[Big sigh.] I just want to HAVE this, not WORK FOR this. I don’t want to have to believe in myself or trust the process. I want it given to me.

A give her a big hug.

Yeah, I get it. You don’t feel you have the skills for any of this because… you don’t! You are my teenaged self, and you don’t have the emotional intelligence to even understand what’s going on behind your feelings.

You think having your life look how you want will make you feel the way you want. You have so much learning ahead of you.

And then I think about all the learning that has happened for me since I was a teenager.

And I try to bring ALL PARTS OF ME into the present moment.

My almost-50 year old self actually DOES want to work for this. I don’t consider it WORK I consider it CREATING and it’s what I am here for. I DO believe in myself and I DO trust the process.

What does my CURRENT PRESENT SELF think of this mantra?

It is a bit… “well there is a lot to do before I can really have this thing”.

I mean - I could go out and buy an RV tomorrow on credit. But I want this to NOT create financial stress. I want to be set up for it. I want it to be easy. And I know travel will take some focus, and I need space for that - like to be ahead in my work and have stronger systems and... I want to feel READY. And getting ready is a process.

So…

“I make space for my dream in my daily life”

Makes me REALLY aware of the space between where I am and where I want to be.

And I don’t feel very at peace with that today.

That’s how it is sometimes.

 

Dream Book members:

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This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I make space for my growth + expansion.

I’m so glad I got this mantra this week, how to MAKE SPACE for growth is something I have been thinking about a lot.

I mean - my divorce feels like a FORCE of growth and expansion.

And also my feelings about the state of the world are acting as a force for growth and expansion.

So I've been thinking about HOW I MAKE and HOLD space for myself.

On our New Moon Call last week the intention that came to me was EPIC HEALING.

Which is not about epic outer results, but about epic ways of holding space for my healing and growth.

And so far, I'm thinking this means:

• Quality physical self care: nutrient dense eating, lots of exercise, good sleep habits
• Daily meditation + journaling
• Daily time for creative projects that are NOT work projects
• Starting a new art project that is kind of a touchstone for my healing goals
• Holding the intention - being clear about WHY I want "epic healing", journaling about what this means for me, what I hope to get out of it and how I hope to feel while in the process

But I am thinking too about how we can’t be the ONLY ones holding space for our growth + expansion.

And how often we ARE the only ones!

How often the people closest to us cannot support our growth or our dreams.

And I don’t think that means we need to change the people who are around us, it means we need to seek out that support. (Hint hint, this is why I offer ALL of my courses and live coaching calls in ONE membership)

BUT the thing is our culture DOES NOT support our dreams or our growth, and in fact actively works AGAINST both in a lot of ways, so it becomes extremely difficult to even see what effective support would even look and feel like.

So we go without.

And it’s hurting us.

A question to ponder:

What would right-fit support look like?

 

Dream Book members:

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This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I am ready.

This was perfect timing for last week, as I was getting ready to share my new 10 day Creative Dream Challenge.

This feels really meaningful as it’s a new way to invite people into my work with the Creative Dream Incubator. It’s a thing I can promote heavily and joyfully.

It feels like my next chapter and it feels REALLY GOOD to step into it...

AND it feels like I still need to grow into it.

And I FEEL READY for the "stepping".

We never have to FEEL ready though.

We always ARE ready for our next steps. But not FEELING ready is pretty common - it's just one of the things we need to work through.

But reflecting on this mantra today - this is what I see:

I’ve been focusing on getting ready IN OUTER WORK.

I’ve been doing whatever INNER WORK was needed to get the OUTER WORK done.

And DREAM WORK got lost in the shuffle.

This is good information, I want to make more space for Dream Work practices this week.

Dream Book members: The Library of Creative Dream Alchemy is here, with practices for Dream Work, Inner Work and Outer Work.

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

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This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I have everything I need to do anything I want

OK wow as I am writing this, I am listening to this song. So perfect! (Success, expanded version, by Beautiful Chorus)

This is another one of the mantras that I believe is usually true.

Often we’re looking at what we wish we had, in terms of supports for our dreams, instead of using what we DO have.

I wrote this mantra in my journal with my weekly business check-in and my list of things I want to do. And it all felt so good when I wrote it. This mantra is such a healing balm for me... and yet...

I had not had a week go this OFF in a while, lol.

Like, none of the things I planned ended up being what happened.

And when I look at my list, and read this mantra, it’s like WTF?

And it feels like… trust the process.

Weekly planning is so good! (Dream Book members check out the: Creative Genius Planning Sessions and Dream Plan Kit)

AND forcing ourselves to follow through on every plan is not good.

So some weeks turn out like this.

I think it’s important to notice - are there particular tasks that ALWAYS end up undone? What’s going on there? (Take it into the Un-Sticking Station to explore it.)

But if once in a while your whole list is just a disaster? Maybe just accept that this is a part of the process? And ask:

Am I sure these are the right tasks?

Where/why am I resisting doing these things?

What would help make it easier to get this stuff done next week?

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

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This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I trust my magic.

HOLY CRAP this is exactly the mantra I needed.

I've also been using "I am a powerful witch"

This keeps coming up on our calls lately and I am feeling it in my practice - the need to dig in deeper to the Dream Work, to help counteract how hard Inner Work and Outer Work are right now.

I've been journaling more lately, and one thing I am doing is just writing out all the things I want, like affirmations. "I am now open to receive...." "I feel powerful enough to ...."  "I know I am ready to..." things like that.

Throughout the day I remind myself… I trust my magic. I am a powerful witch.

It’s helping.

We do need to remind ourselves of who the fuck we ARE sometimes.

As I keep sharing on our calls - all the ways that dominant culture fail us has been on my mind a lot.

Not that I want to sit around pointing fingers and not taking responsibility for my own life, but because I see the impacts every day, on all of us.

As I connect with my new dreams for the second half of my life, I have this growing feeling about how we all deserve better.

Life is sacred. It’s a gift.

Our culture degrades this gift in the name of greed.

None of this is new.

But it all feels more urgent to me.

I TRUST MY MAGIC has been helping me NOT feel helpless in the face of the state of the world, and instead look for ways to be a part of the future I want.

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.