I have a plan for what I want to do next.
It feels really solid. I am considering the things that have not been working, I looked into WHY those things are not working, and came up with ideas for addressing that.
It feels like the kind of plan where - I have taken a lot of steps, many of which have not gotten me the results I wanted, but I have taken SO MANY steps that I have learned so much from those steps - and now I am applying all of that into making a different plan.
I feel really good about it.
Or, I DID feel really good about it until I felt totally panicked.
Suddenly my brain was flooded with the reasons why this is bound to fail.
And I felt stressed, pressured, helpless, discouraged and sad.
It was a lot, and I wasn’t able to instantly use the Un-Sticking Station to turn it around.
So I focused on self care. Taking care of upset self in the moment AND looking at “what can I do to make tomorrow a better day?”
That was yesterday. And today is a little better.
I’m sitting with my fear, offering it love. It feels calmer though still present, I had hoped it would just kind of dissolve in the love.
How do we do this together?
The part of me who is excited about this plan and the part of me who is afraid.
My eyes land on the tarot card on my desk. Yesterday I had picked a card to help me get started with this plan this week and I got 8 of pentacles. It’s saying KEEP GOING.
I think that’s the answer. Keep going… with both. Take steps, implement the plan AND keep meeting the fears/anxiety that comes up.
And suddenly I remember… this only happens EVERY TIME I start with something new.
The moment where the rubber really meets the road, all the fears and doubts get stirred up and I feel like I don’t know what I am doing.
So - go slow, self care, soothing fears AND taking little steps. As long as I keep showing up, I’ll find creative flow again…
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: What I seek is seeking me.
Use the meditation for the weekly mantras to dig in deeper to the mantra, or put your hands on your heart and take five deep slow breaths and repeat to yourself:
What I seek is seeking me.
Notice where this lands in your body, what thoughts and feelings get sparked.
There is no right or wrong way to react. But your actual thoughts and feelings can tell you something about what you need right now.
How it lands for me: like warm honey. Sparkling and healing.
Like microscopic bits of PRESSURE that were floating around in me are getting stuck in the honey and disarmed by it.
It's not all on me.
My dream is my PARTNER. And the whole universe is my ALLY. So yes I can take the pressure off of ME to figure it all out and then also do it all.
I am not alone in this.
And then a new awareness rises... how can I make myself more visible to my dream?
If it's seeking me, how do I make me easier to find?
Well... daily Dream Lab meetings. Visualizing. And taking consistent steps towards it. Something about consistency feels so important to me lately. Not necessarily DAILY or even REGULAR but consistent.
If you want to work on this with me:
If What I seek is seeking me feels good and encouraging, hold it with you today. Look at problems, questions, stucks and obstacles through this lens and see what ideas it brings.
If it brings up some discomfort - that’s your stuff to work on today. To do that work, in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership we’ve got the un-sticking station and the library of inner work practices. If you’re not sure what practice to use, you can email me, or post in our forum, let me know what’s going on and I will make some suggestions for tools you can use.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path.
Week 4 of me doing my reports on the printable journaling sheet (this is accessible to everyone who reads the blog, not just for membership people) instead of on the computer, which I did for YEARS. I LOVE THIS. It just feels different on paper.
Optimism + Consistency breeds Patience and Trust
That's what my journaling brought me to.
Last week's focus was: soft + trusting + determined and I really did feel that way in a sense, but DETERMINED is not quite the right word.
Determined is the word I used because it was like.. trusting wasn't quite enough. Trusting felt passive and I was feeling this sense of wanting to be ACTIVELY trusting which felt like determined.
This week that shifted into: optimism + consistency breeds patience and trust.
Being patient and trusting WHILE ALSO being optimistic and showing up consistently. This feels like THE VIBE.
Trust as a verb.
🦄⚡️Creative Dream Incubator Weekly Coaching Call is today!!
Hope to see you there - or catch the replay over the weekend! Call details + replays are here. And after the call I'll start a thread in the forum to share your plans for the week and as a space for accountability and support.
If you can't be there live but have a question or there's something you are struggling with, send me an email this morning and I'll discuss it on the call and offer you some suggestions for things to do.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
I was feeling soooo tangled up about this.
Feeling like these two things are inherently AT ODDS with each other.
They're actually not. They actually have no direct relationship with each other at all.
Your most PURPOSEFUL work doesn’t have any direct relationship to your most MARKETABLE work.
And also maybe you don’t have any MARKETABLE work but that doesn’t say anything about your VALUABLE work.
BUT YOUR FEELINGS MATTER.
So I was FEELING tangled up about this, even with having YEARS of experience of balancing these things in ways that work for me, here I am in a place where it doesn't feel like it's working.
So I drew this diagram.
And I INSTANTLY felt better.
It felt like THERE IS SPACE FOR EVERYTHING.
This is part of the magic of journaling, and taking things out of your head (where all they can do is swirl around) and putting them somewhere outside of you, where you can move them around and put them into different positions in relation to each other.
And it's so easy for things to feel confusing when they are swirling, and this is complicated for me... I am anti-capitalist AND I recognize the ways that capitalism supports my life. And I do support initiatives for change! Especially around a universal livable basic income.
But I do have to be here, where I am, living in this economy as a self employed creative.
So I keep asking the questions.
Feeling the feelings.
And listening to my creative genius because:
YOUR CREATIVE GENIUS IS ALWAYS BIGGER THAN THE OBSTACLES.
For me I went from 100% tangled to.... oh yeah this is fine I got this.... within 30 minutes from working on this Venn diagram.
Also helped by what we've been doing in How To Make More Money Without Destroying Your Soul! (Membership members, get that here. This one is also available for purchase outside of the membership, here)
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Deep beneath a lot of other things is this part of me that is looking for the RIGHT WAY to do things.
And it’s looking OUTSIDE of me for this right way.
It’s tapped into capitalism’s promise: that if you conform to dominant culture and do things the way they say to do things then you guaranteed safety, security, abundance, joy and love.
This is bullshit.
AND it’s so deeply engrained.
When I connect with the soul of the Creative Dream Incubator it asks me to stop looking outside of myself for answers. (using either the Dream Lab or the connecting with the soul of your business practices)
But I don’t know the way to do things that will guarantee that things will work out for me.
This is the terror and vulnerability of creative dreaming.
There isn’t a way to know.
I know the internet is full of gurus who insist that there is a way. Follow these rules, do it this way, put your own unique spin on it for “authenticity’s” sake, but DO IT THIS WAY IF YOU DON’T WANT TO FAIL.
But the truth is - there isn’t a way to know.
You take steps. You try stuff. You heal, grow, and learn in the process. And then each new step is on more solid ground…
But there are no guarantees.
And this is terrifying.
So yeah, this part of me, deep down inside, keeps looking for the guarantees.
And this part of me keeps assuming that if things are not going well for me, that’s because I AM DOING SOMETHING WRONG. And if I could only do the RIGHT things, then I would have everything work out exactly how I want it.
Which only invites shame in which invites in fear and panic. It’s not good.
Looking outside of me for answers is not good.
And I keep doing it.
So I practice NOTICING SOONER that this is what I am doing.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
When I want something new and I don’t see HOW to do it…
I panic.
It feels impossible so I think it IS impossible.
I forget that I am looking ONLY at the Outer Work, and not at all considering how much Dream Work and Inner Work I COULD be doing.
I forget how doing Dream Work and Inner Work completely changes the possibilities for what can happen in Outer Work.
We need to keep reminding ourselves.
PS: If you have NO TIME for your dreams: Check out Quick + Simple Ways to Connect With Your Dream
If you are TOO OVERWHELMED for your dreams : Check out Space-Making: For When You're Too Overwhelmed To Begin
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I am free to be anyone I want to be
Use the meditation for the weekly mantras to dig in deeper to the mantra, or put your hands on your heart and take five deep slow breaths and repeat to yourself:
I am free to be anyone I want to be
Notice where this lands in your body, what thoughts and feelings get sparked.
There is no right or wrong way to react. But your actual thoughts and feelings can tell you something about what you need right now.
How it lands for me: like a SWISH
A SWISH of freedom, starting around my heart and whooshing away.
Like a bird. Free to fly.
I am shifting my sense of WHO I AM. This is the work my dreams are asking of me right now and it's... messy, I guess. Complicated. So non-linear I have no clue where I am.
I really am free to be anyone I want to be.
And when I sit with this, after the SWISH, my body feels open.
I know exactly who I want to be. I've been clarifying this on the Dream Self Page of my new Dream Book.
Oh! And then I am instantly reminded of why it's hard to BE that version of me all of the time.
And I have so much empathy for myself.
And I want to COME UP WITH A PLAN that makes this all easier.
But the truth is, it's in a process. And as long as I keep showing up, I'll get there.
I will hold I am free to be anyone I want to be close to me on the path this week.
If you want to work on this with me:
If I am free to be anyone I want to be feels good and encouraging, hold it with you today. Look at problems, questions, stucks and obstacles through this lens and see what ideas it brings.
If it brings up some discomfort - that’s your stuff to work on today. To do that work, in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership we’ve got the un-sticking station and the library of inner work practices. If you’re not sure what practice to use, you can email me, or post in our forum, let me know what’s going on and I will make some suggestions for tools you can use.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path.
I hand-wrote my report on the printable journaling sheet (this is accessible to everyone who reads the blog, not just for membership people)
I'm filling in my journaling sheet and... LOTS OF TEARS this week.
Reflecting on this last week is actually REALLY REALLY HARD. SO ANNOYING!!!
It's interesting because I took lots of steps and felt quite good and confident and yet in the process of reflection, I am seeing other sides of it.
It's stirring up a lot of stuff... and the "coach me" knows that this is good! This is the stuff that needs to be stirred up and worked through but the "human me" is like FUCK THIS I DON'T LIKE IT.
So I am right in the thick of it.
And it took me a long time this morning to fill in the 2 journaling sheets. And it sparked a whole bunch of... side journaling is all I can call it. Like the prompts sparked other prompts, which I decided to answer in my journal instead of on this sheet.
You know how I often say on our calls that it's good to have really big questions, the kinds that don't have quick answers? And also how it's good to have lots of questions and not a lot of answers because that means you're in a space of expansion and possibility? Having a lot of answers means you're in a more restricted space, though that restriction is useful at times!
So I am in a time of a lot of expansion, so much so that some days I really don't know which way is up.
But the journaling sheets did bring me my focus for next week, which feels grounding and clarifying: radiate the magic of your dream.
This came when I did the Dream Lab practice to connect with the soul of my dream. And it's a pillar of light and it's really grounded and stable AND magical and when I connect with that, there is a palpable shift in my body. I can feel myself radiating that magic and this shifts my mind.
This puts me into a better place to make decisions about what steps to take next. So I will practice that this week.
🦄⚡️Creative Dream Incubator Weekly Coaching Call is today!!
Hope to see you there - or catch the replay over the weekend! Call details + replays are here. And after the call I'll start a thread in the forum to share your plans for the week and as a space for accountability and support.
If you can't be there live but have a question or there's something you are struggling with, send me an email this morning and I'll discuss it on the call and offer you some suggestions for things to do.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
(Bear and I working from bed)
I was SO EXCITED to do this thing last night, and now that it’s today, and it’s time to do the thing…
I am exhausted. I do NOT have the energy to do this.
And I did do all the things I need to do to get my morning off right… a smoothie, bike ride to the park, now I am drinking a GIANT lavender iced latte in the park and journaling...
And I am still not feeling it.
So. Resistance, is that you? Are you behind the overwhelm and exhaustion?
Ummm. No I don’t think so. Why don’t you blame (ongoing annoying situation in my life)?
Because ongoing annoying situation is, in a sense, handled for now. Like - I have my next steps with it which I will do later. It’s not like ON MY MIND… OMG I am letting you distract me from you!
I am hard to look right at.
No shit!
Resistance just looks at me.
I just look back. Resistance feels like a he today. Kind of like… lots of dark clothing including a cape and a hat, maybe medieval or something like that.
I’m not medieval, that’s ridiculous.
OK whatever, you’re old timey somehow.
I’m ancient.
OK yeah that makes sense. But listen, don’t you remember how EXCITED I was about this project last night?
It’s easy to be excited about a creative project when you just got out of a bath and you’re on your way to sleep and there’s no way to take a step with it.
Are you saying I don’t have it in me to be excited about doing this when I can actually do this?
I’m saying when everything is in place and it’s time to take that step - that’s when all the inner shit comes up. You know this.
I know.
And then you just blame me, like I am something outside of you.
Ugggghhh.
Yeah Uggghhhhh.
I take a deep breath and a big sip of my iced coffee and ask myself what’s happening underneath the resistance.
Fear. Terror actually. What if I’m not good enough? What if I fail? What if I do my best and it turns out I can’t actually do this? Yes, it is VERY easy to feel confident when you’ve just gotten out of a bath and are on your way to bed and not anywhere near taking an actual step.
Where is the part of me who believes in me and my dreams 100%?
Buried under all of those other selves. It almost feels like they have tied her up, there’s no way for her to get free.
That’s interesting - she still believes in herself 100% EVEN WHILE TIED UP AND BURIED UNDER A PILE OF FEARS AND WORRIES AND WHAT IFs.
She’s like “Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll get out of this.”
And I know she will.
I zoom in my focus on her. Can I just work with her and ignore the other stuff?
She smiles at me and turns around to show me how her hands are tied up… the rope is tied so loosely it would be easy to get free. And when I look closer - the rope is actually liquorice.
My fears are little kids and she’s indulging them.
Together, we pick up each kid and put them down on bean bag chairs. We give them popcorn and turn on a movie. We set up some games, an art station and a nap area. We install a new light in their room which radiates love. We go to each of them, one at a time, and tell them how much we love them, exactly as they are. How proud we are of them. How happy we want them to be.
And then we close the door on their room.
And then this journaling ends abruptly because I just… got to work on that project!
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
THIS is the answer to everything.
And even though you DO believe in yourself, more than you ever have even… but there is always more.
Believing in yourself is a spectrum that never ends.
Trusting yourself is a spectrum that never ends.
And sometimes self doubt gets in the way of that and we have to keep PRACTICING to come back to self belief.
As long as you keep showing up and practicing, breakthroughs are GUARANTEED.
KEEP GOING!!
(Note from my Dream Book)
Your Self Doubt Is Not Yours You Deserve To Believe In Yourself
I've been talking about this for a while on our Zooms, and today I set it up - this call is happening on Sept 17 and it will come with a guided journal 🙂
For Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members: the call details are here.
For everyone else - I do want to make this call available on it's own outside the membership, I should have registration open next week.
Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.