This keeps coming up with the people I work with - how HARD things are right now.
How it IS harder to stay in the kind of positive mindset you need to make things happen.
How it IS harder to rally and keep going on the long path to a dream.
How it IS harder to pay bills with the costs soaring! And how that stress impacts everything.
How it’s natural to have resistance to our dreams, how we will ALWAYS have inner work to do, and how breaking through the fog and getting into creative slow is harder now.
And how just “trying harder” or whatever - isn’t cutting it.
So I planned a series of calls to help us find our way through:
Today’s call is about Exploring Resistance + Creative Flow. (If you can't make it live, the replay will be on that page a few hours after we're done)
I’ve been working on this pretty intensely this year, and have lots of ideas to share, but when we meditate and journal together on any topic - magic happens! So I am excited to see what we discover together.
March 12 we’re doing Taking The Inner Work Deeper.
This is because most times the way to make a dream happen FASTER or BIGGER is to go DEEPER with the inner work of if.
And we all resist the things we want to resist, and then try to validate our resistance, which makes this complicated. So we’ll work on it together.
April 9 We’re doing Letting Your Dream Come To You Instead Of Chasing After It.
This one was a request from a Dream Book member (you can always let me know what kinds of topics you want to explore on these calls!) and I think is also a really important piece of how to stay positive and dreaming in these hard times.
Because sometimes when things are hard, WE get hard. We try to be more dedicated or hardworking and forget to lean into our inner magnetism and ability to draw things to us.
Not that we can just sit around and wait for the dream to manifest, there IS work for us to do since WE are the dream’s guardian on this plane, so we need to do all sorts of physical stuff to make space for it. But there is a balance we need there, to not go into CHASING and HARD WORKING our way into a dream.
And the more we are doing the Dream Work practices like this, the easier the inner work and outer work are!
Then on May 15 we’re doing Creating Self Care Protocols to Support Yourself in Being The Version of You Who Can Do Your Dream.
This is the one I am most looking forward to. Next-level self care.
All the practical physical stuff AND all the magical stuff and DELIGHTING in giving ourselves everything we need to be our absolute “best” selves - best being however you want to define it. Happy, creating, trusting your self, trusting your dreams, building your future.
These calls will all start with alchemy meditations and journaling prompts for exploring the topic and then rich discussions, sharing of ideas, and working through all the stuff that comes up.
I know times are hard!
And I know we are stronger together.
So I hope you join us for these.
(If you're not a member of Dream Book, find out more + join here)
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
With BIG FEELINGS flying around, how do I want to show up for my life, my self, and my dreams today?
I read enough books about divorce to know that the first year after separation is hard.
A lot of different waves of feelings can hit. You can feel one thing one day, and then it’s opposite the next day. The best advice I got was to remember that none of these feelings are your new forever state, and none of your thoughts will be your forever beliefs about anything. Let them flow.
Today’s wave feels more like a bomb of sadness, anger and regret.
(I want to add - I write these posts in advance, so this isn’t about Valentine’s Day but I was delighted when I was organizing my writing into posts for this week and this is where this one fell)
And a part of me wants to process all of this as quickly and effectively as possible so I can go back to living my life, and working on my creative dreams.
But this is my life.
And creative dreaming doesn’t happen in a vacuum, it happens in our lives. Which are messy sometimes.
So. With BIG FEELINGS flying around, how do I want to show up for my life, my self, and my dreams today?
That’s the question I start with.
We don’t choose the feelings we have, we do choose how we react to them.
And I believe the best way to react to them is to VALIDATE them. We don’t have to like or enjoy the sensations a feeling provides to validate it.
Our feelings are valid responses to what is happening, and all the ways that all the things that have happened to us have impacted us.
And by validating all of that, it’s like we give the feeling space to breathe. Which is brutal in the moment but then it’s pure magic. Because there is something FOR YOU in those feelings, and you only get to receive it when you feel it.
On last week’s new moon call this came up a few times: how BIG our emotional reactions can be and how those BIG FEELINGS get in the way of being able to do the things we want (and need!) to do.
There are so many ways to work with this. We identified a few different paths, and then experimented with “how would it feel to ____” to try to find the right one.
There is no “one right path”
The world is a mess! Our lives are (sometimes?) (often?) a mess!
Figuring out how to fit our dreams into the mix of the messes we are facing is complicated - precisely because of what I was talking about in my dream status report from last week - because I need to be more PRESENT and INTENTIONAL and this is more difficult to do from within a hurricane of mess.
AND
We don’t just give up, right?
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
The Exploring Resistance + Creative Flow call is happening this Thursday! Dream Book members, get the call details here.
I started the resistance project in January.
A year of exploring, healing and making art with my resistance.
I dove in excitedly in January. I learned/remembered a whole bunch of things that work for me. I removed all games from my phone, I cut my screen time way down, I increased my daily step count, I firmed up my routines and structure/organizing.
And now, I still have all of these things in place that help nurture creative flow so I feel less resistance… and I have more creative flow... and yet sometimes I am still just RIGHT IN IT.
IDON’TWANNA
This came up on our New Moon call last week - how a lot of us feel like we’re overwhelmed and it’s just REALLY HARD to do the things we want to do.
I think it’s good to remember that there are external forces acting that ARE making it harder. The state of the world DOES impact our mental state.
Creative Dreaming is LIVING AS A VISIONARY and this is actually a big deal. It’s exhausting even in the best of times and these are not the best of times.
So it’s understandable that I have these days some days.
AND I really want to explore my resistance consistently this year so…
This morning my resistance shows up as:
Resistance to going for my morning walk to a coffee shop. My plan was to go to the “45 minute walk” coffee shop. But it is cold and windy, and after 2 weeks of un-heard of warm weather it means switching back into winter gear and maybe that’s too much today… so I bargained with myself… what about the 30 minute walk place? Or the 20 minute walk place, I mean we don’t like that place very much but 20 minutes feels so doable, right? Or… I mean there is a 1 minute walk coffee shop too... Can we do that?
Nope. The thought of getting dressed and going into the world was a big NO this morning. (Being self employed and the freedom it brings is one of my biggest dreams, and I recognize how lucky I am to be able to make this choice.)
But, even comfy at home in my PJs with my coffee and my cat Bear snuggled up in his bean bag chair beside my desk I have a lot of mental resistance today.
I feel HEAVY.
I also feel resistance to the resistance. Like WTF ANDREA? Just do the things that you DO want to do!
I look out the window. Maybe I will go out? Exercise and fresh air may be all I need?
On the other hand, maybe I need a break? A day off?
There is nothing urgent I need to do today BUT there is something I really do want to do. And that’s another thing we talked about on the New Moon call… how we can rally and get the stuff done that needs to happen. How none of us would just not show up for our clients. But then we end up not showing up for ourselves as well - that we don’t get to those projects that don’t have any external deadlines.
So I feel 50/50 - yes a day off would be nice AND totally justifiable. And yes a whole day to work on that project that I really do want to do feels really good.
My pre-pandemic self felt this way so rarely, that when I did feel this way I tended to take it as a sign that I needed a break, and take it.
But since 2020 I feel this way much more often, and I actually don’t want to take that many breaks. I want to move my projects forward.
OK! Good information!
I have resistance AND resistance to the resistance AND this inner knowing about what I actually DO want to do.
So what’s in my way?
(This is where I pop onto Facebook to see if there is anything interesting happening there)
No! Come back! We are journaling our way THROUGH this! Keep going!
What’s in my way?
I think about doing what I want to do, and I get a “brain swirl”.
What’s the brain swirl?
I sit with that a few minutes. It’s this tiny little part of me who is riding some kind of spacecraft that swirls around in my head, trying to create an energy stream that directs my thinking away from this project.
Wow, interesting! Why?
She wants to go get ice cream.
OK well that is SUPER interesting, because there is an ice cream shop near one of the places we could go to work this morning. But do you think this is literal - like part of you want to get ice cream? Or do you think it’s more like she wants to go play and not think about work?
I think she is BRAIN SWIRLING us right now and we can’t stay focused on what we are trying to process.
Right, yeah.
OK I think it’s obvious that if I stay home I’m just going to swirl around in my thoughts and not do this thing. AND I am resisting the plan I had made. So we need to come up with a new plan!
Oh I just realized what the problem is.
That project I want to work on today. It’s “starting something new” and “working on a thing that really matters to me” and both of those things bring up ALL THE THINGS.
The vulnerability of trying something new.
The fear that it won’t work out.
The doubt that I can really pull it off in the way I want to.
The “why bother? No one cares”
The worry that it will be too hard.
The worry that no one will understand what I am trying to do.
THE THINGS that come up for everyone with their dreams at some point. For me it happens mostly at the start, and then again right before it’s done.
Having named “the resistance” for what it is, and having worked through all of these fears/doubts so many times over the years (there is a whole library of inner work practices for this in Dream Book!) I just need to find the gentlest way to begin.
NAMING it really shifts it.
Instead of “some weird brain swirl that won’t let me focus” I know “this is hard and scary because it’s so vulnerable to start a new thing”.
And I know what helps with this:
Un-Sticking Station or other practices from the Library of Inner Work
Dream Self process to connect with the part of me who knows how to do this
Dream Lab process to connect with my enthusiasm for doing this
And now I feel ready to get started.
Making space to process all of our thoughts and feelings will naturally bring you to your truth. Your truth will include HOW MUCH you want to do the things you want to do - even when they are scary.
SO excited to explore this on the Exploring Resistance + Creative Flow call on Thursday! If you're not in Dream Book, now is a great time to join!
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
This is the mantra I got in this week’s journaling + alchemy kit: I am moving in the right direction.
DIRECTION is SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT than speed! And yet we all get discouraged at how long things can take.
I started weightlifting (again) in December. Between the holiday season in December and then January hitting kind of hard - I took about a month off and started back at it late in January.
But this week I’ve been noticing my shoulders, arms and legs are starting to look different.
And it’s like “what?! I’ve barely done anything!” I am only even aiming to go twice a week, which means some weeks I only go once. I’m not trying to do body building, I’m just trying to counteract the loss of muscle that happens at this age, because getting those muscles back helps my energy and mental health so much.
So I am taking tiny steps but I AM MOVING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.
And as long as I keep taking tiny steps - they do add up and move me towards where I want to be.
AND
Nothing is guaranteed, in terms of outer outcomes, of course!
But - how does it feel to say to yourself “I am moving in the right direction”?
And there some places where this is uncomfortable?
What are those places telling you?
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!
My Dream Status Report for this week:
PART ONE:
My dream is: This one doesn't want to be shared, but I do have a very specific thing I am working on now.
I want it because: It feels like the truest way forward.
When I have it I will feel: I have never felt anything excitement about birthdays - especially the “big ones”. I’ve always looked forward to entering new decades but I am going to turn 50 this spring and I am having a lot of uncomfortable feelings about it. This dream feels connected, like - I am sorting out who and how I want to be in this new phase of life.
PART TWO:
Invite the soul of your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
The goal is never to do these kinds of practices “perfectly” but to just be where you are with them. I am in a coffee shop and even with noise-canceling headphones that do work on most noises - there are two very small children beside me who can break through the headphones, lol. But in my meditation I was hearing them as bells ringing, and then I remembered this bell I have which is a Pegasus and then was like “that’s it! My dream is here as a Pegasus!” Which feels wrong and also right.
It doesn’t matter HOW your dreams show up in this practice, it’s just helpful to work with whatever happens when you do it. Nothing is an accident.
So, my dream shows up as a Pegasus bell. Oh, no as I look closer it’s not a bell, it’s just a Pegasus but it makes a sound like a bell.
I ask it to help me with the rest of the prompts and it flies around in a circle.
PART THREE:
Last week’s focus was: Stick with the plan. Don't make it smaller.
What happened in the last week?
I did stick with the plan! I feel really good about how I am implementing my ideas right now.
I launched the New Moon Intention Setting Ritual Kit! Getting the artwork done and then getting the whole thing ready for sale was more work than I had anticipated - but I started on track. And that took up most of my attention.
My resistance project is calling and I am ignoring the calls, lol. Resistance to my resistance project. I am promising it I will have more time for it next week.
And we did the New Moon Call this week and that brought me this new idea, which ties in some stuff I have been exploring in the resistance project, and inspiration for new creative projects I want to start… so now I have a new project to work on.
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
I am feeling like WHY IS LIFE HAPPENING SO FAST???!?!
I usually love the slow vibes of winter, but I am not feeling slow at all. Maybe it’s the climate change (I rode my bike to the coffee shop this morning, because it’s raining and I didn’t want a long walk in the rain - normal temps for a February morning here are more like -20-30.
And during the new moon call I realised that I’ve been staying up later and later, and sleeping in later and later, and missing that “magical feeling time” of waking up way before the sunrise in the winter. (Sunrise is VERY early in WInnipeg in the summer, I never see it) So I could go back to earlier bed time to get that magic + slow feeling in the early mornings.
What do I need now?
To feel like life is slowing down, like I have time for all the things I want to do.
Oh! But another thing I realised during the new moon call is that it’s not about the hours in the day it’s about how present I can be. I want to do all this deeper work and I am just not in a deeper space as much as I want to be. Which means - I need more meditation + stillness + to work through the resistance that is keeping me from being where I want to be.
What does my dream need now?
Oh well now the Pegasus feels like the perfect way for my dream to show up. I used to use that Pegasus bell to help me set intentions. Like - letting the sound clear around doubt and anything that would make it hard for me to do what I want to do. And also as a sound to declare “this is what I am doing now” or “this is who I want to be today”… I used that bell in so many ways.
My dream needs me to get back to that.
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
Use the Pegasus bell to help me be more intentional + present. (This may sound vague but I know exactly what this means and I will report back!)
And I want to add: it’s like I’m not intentional or present! It’s that I need to be DEEPER with both. It’s one of the things my dream is often asking for - for me to KEEP GOING deeper, there is no limit there.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Of course, there are no rules! YOU always know what is best for you.
BUT/AND it really is easier to make a big change happen when you can focus on one thing.
This is not always possible! I know!
But if you are really struggling making something happen, it is good to look at how you could re-structure your priorities to give this thing more time, energy and FOCUS.
For myself, focus has been really hard to find since 2020.
And I’ve noticed that my Dream Book has become less and less focused. I’m dreaming of everything, lol!
Over the years my dream had become this vague thing… the brightest future I see for myself.
Which is lovely, but you need to be able to focus on something in order to grab onto it.
So, this year I am focusing.
I am dialled in on ONE dream.
And, since this is a larger dream that has multiple steps/projects - I am also PRIORITIZING things, getting one thing done before starting the next.
I know that seems like an obvious way to get things done, but since 2020 I have struggled with that.
I haven’t wanted to put any ideas aside to focus on just one, and the result is that none of the ideas get the support they need.
And I’m kind of just swimming around in ideas, becoming increasingly overwhelmed trying to juggle it all at once.
So I took the time to put the ideas into ORDER and am working through them - one by one.
I’ve only been doing this for about a month but already I feel completely differently about everything.
AND I want to note - the process of putting them in “order” and prioritizing certain things over other things WAS BRUTAL. It brought up a lot of fears and doubts and I un-stuck the sticks as I went and now it feels really good to have my ideas IN ORDER so I can give each one the time and energy they need to turn into something.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
For the last few years (??!?!) the soul of my business has been sending me this one message consistently.
And I thought I understood it. And I thought I was acting on it.
And I WAS acting on it - in the best way I could.
But my actions were not really getting the results I wanted. Things were not clicking into place like the soul of my business insisted they would.
Which is so frustrating. But I kept trying.
One of the principles of Creative Dream Alchemy is “It takes the time it takes” and we all get frustrated with this, we can all feel like things aren’t happening as fast as we want them to…
But often, when we do finally have the breakthrough we needed, we realise that WE were the ones in the way, the whole time.
But THEN we realize that even though it was on US to change - that we couldn't make the change until we could make the change.
That showing up and trying and not having it go well, over and over and over, is what brought us to this place where it all comes together.
So that’s where I am today.
But it does’t feel shaming, like I should have done better two years ago.
It feels like an amazing journey, like who cares how long it took I FIGURED IT OUT.
If you can't control the universe and don't know how long it will take for things to work out for you, but you CAN control whether or not you keep showing up - how can you find ways to do the work that are generative and interesting so it's easier to not give up?
Dream Book members: I have this 10 minute video on how to make it easier to stay on a looooong path to a dream.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
I don't have a regular post for you today - I've been completely focused on finishing the New Moon Intention Setting Ritual Kit.
I started out wanting to make some printables of prompts we use on the New Moon Calls.
And then I decided to make it a whole thing to use on it's own, for people who are not in Dream Book - a journal that leads you through a simplified version of the mediations we use on the live calls every month.
I love this so much!
We've been doing the New Moon calls for years, and I've been refining the meditations over time and it's become such a beloved practiced, I am thrilled to be able to share it in this way!
Dream Book members: you can download it here.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
This is the mantra I got in this week’s journaling + alchemy kit: My creative genius is bigger than the obstacles.
This is one of the few mantras that I believe is true for everyone.
We don't have to pretend we don't have obstacles or ignore our actual feelings about them. Obstacles are scary! And frustrating! They can make us ANGRY.
AND we can be brave enough to FACE and CHANGE to obstacles, and our creative genius (our inner creativity, wisdom, power, courage and authentic way of being) can absolutely help us do this.
But the point of the weekly mantras isn't to learn a specific thing, it's to explore your own reactions.
Each time I do these kits, I get a different reaction.
This week it's ANGER.
And a bit of surprise about how angry I am.
I feel angry about how much of the new age/holistic healing/life your best life industry is (still!) DISempowering people when it comes to this.
I feel angry that people are STILL preaching this idea that we should just "rise above", good vibes only, change your thoughts to change your life... instead of cultivating the courage to just fucking FACE the hard parts.
Because we are SO powerful when we stop avoiding and start BEING WITH.
Because I 100% believe that each one of us is bigger than the obstacles. So there is no need to spiritual by-pass or learn hard, heavy and unconsciously into privilege as a manifesting technique.
So, I feel angry about this because I see so many people being led down paths that won't bring them what they want.
But the biggest anger is about much this approach to Living Your Best Life focused on individual gain while leaving the oppressive systems we live inside unchecked and as powerful as ever. The ways the colonization of Indigenous spirituality continues to do harm.
And, as I have started to reflect more on my life because I'm in this big season of change AND facing the start of my 50s and feeling surprisingly unprepared for a whole new decade, I actually feel a lot of regret for the times I spent in these communities.
Regret is a hard one for me.
And it can easily make me angry and then reactionary and I'm trying to not go that way with it.
I'm trying to sit with it and find out more about what this is calling me to do.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!
My Dream Status Report for this week:
PART ONE:
My dream is: This one doesn't want to be shared, but I do have a very specific thing I am working on now.
I want it because: I am excited about it! And it feels supportive of all the other things I want - like having this puts me in a position for all sorts of new dreams.
When I have it I will feel: Free - and I feel free now but it feels like I would feel more free somehow. And grounded.
PART TWO:
Invite the soul of your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
My dream shows up as a tiny pink giraffe. Super cute, but I have no clue what this means? Then I remember - it doens' have to mean anything, just go with it.
The giraffe feels adorable, enchanting and sweet. It stands on my shoulder to help me with the rest of the prompts.
PART THREE:
Last week’s focus was: Enjoy the process
What happened in the last week?
Like last week - so much fresh air and exercise! Feeling energized and enthusiastic more often! Remembering how important exercise is for my wellbeing and creativity.
I am almost finished the New Moon Intention Setting Ritual Kit and I am so happy with it. I've been experimenting with how to make a meditation journal and I really love how it came together for this one.
I had a lot of ups and downs in my mood and energy and it felt SO GOOD to be supported by my organizing systems - like it's easy to pick an easier thing to do when I don't feel as clear, and keep making progress anyway.
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
This is the kind of momentum I've been missing for a while and it feels so good to have it. YAY for me to sticking with it through the excruciating parts of getting my work more organized.
What do I need now?
Nothing is coming to mind. I'm feeling really good about my self care routines.
What does my dream need now?
I look at the giraffe and it looks at me. What comes to mind is: I have a plan I really like, I should stick with it.
Oh! I think I get it.
I have a tendency to make plans smaller as I implement them. I start out with one plan, then simplify or skip steps completely in the moment while I am doing it.
My dream is this TINY giraffe, and I'm feeling like "why are you so small??"
... and maybe it's saying "don't make me smaller than I am"
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
Stick with the plan. Don't make it smaller.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.