What if I forgive myself for not being great at the parts I’m not great at?

What if it's ok that I'm not great at the things I'm not great at?

I am noticing how I am always trying to figure out how to do these things better or more consistently... and I don’t seem to be getting any better or more consistent. 

And I noticed that I have been in this pattern for SO LONG.

And this makes sense! There are things we need to do that we’re not great at and tend to avoid.

But now I am noticing that I have been in this pattern WHILE assuming that one day I would be better at it.

AND YES practicing improves skill. The more you do a thing the better you get at it.

AND we need to balance that with understanding that we're better at some things and not-as-good at other things.

So I don’t have to continually push myself to be better at these things! I don’t have to keep trying to find ways…

What new ways might be possible if I accepted that I am as good at this task as I am ever going to be?

What changes then?

I mean this is kind of blowing my mind. I've never thought to explore... how would I do this if I was NOT trying to be better at it?

Come dream with us

 Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

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What if I forgive myself for not being great at the parts I’m not great at? Read More »

Hope says: You have to be true to yourself in order to access me [Year of Hope Week 27]

Year of Hope

Every Monday in 2025 there will be a new journal prompt in the Year of Hope classroom in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership.

Get this week's journal prompt here.

I'd love to hear your thoughts! Leave them in the comments at the bottom of that page so we can discuss this as a group. Practicing hope in community is MAGIC.

Hope says you have to be true to yourself in order to access me.

The page before this page journal starts with: I WANT TO BE A WILD MESS.

I was feeling like I keep needing to pack up my mess, or zip up my mess, and put on a mask of "normalcy" to engage with the world and I just didn't want to. I wanted to go out into the world as a wild mess.

This wasn't that long ago but I already don't really remember exactly what this was about but I do remember the feeling.

I WANT TO FEEL LESS CONTAINED.

And also

I JUDGE MYSELF FOR BEING A MESS SOMETIMES.

And moving into this place of being willing to stop judging and start loving this part of me.

And just navigating how it feels to manage increasing inner chaos amidst increasing outer chaos.

And it can feel like there is no space for hope, in all of that.

But then this next page was about how hope DEMANDS authenticity. And how I can't really get near hope if I am not being myself, if I am distancing myself from parts of me or not processing my feelings or staying present.

And it all kind of makes sense.

Also it felt like... hope is always there for me. It's up to me if I am able to access it, and the times when I can't - that's ok. It's not like my ability to connect with hope in the future is damaged.

Come dream with us

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Hope says: You have to be true to yourself in order to access me [Year of Hope Week 27] Read More »

Integration + Acclimation [Weekly Dream Status Report]

On Fridays I do these "Dream Status Report" prompts to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path.

There are journaling sheets for doing this! these are available for everyone, not just membership members. Download them here.

So grateful for the journaling prompts because I have no idea how to start this today.

Re-visiting my New Moon Intention from the May New Moon call is very reassuring. In the mediation in that call, my dream showed me a path from where I was to where I wanted to be.

My dream wanted me to draw out many many many little squares, each representing a step on the path.

Then it wanted me to bring my attention just to the one square I am on. BE HERE. DON'T EXPECT YOURSELF TO ALREADY BE AT THE END OF THE PATH.

It's amazing how often I expect myself to start a new path and instantly be at the end.

I am here. At the beginning. The beginning is kind of a mess.

(Also, it's not the beginning it's just that I am not looking at all the path I've been down already to get here.)

But, looking at it this way - I AM WINNING! I AM TAKING STEPS!

I did all the things I wanted to do this week... but how do I feel about this?

Lost + conflicted.

I feel like I am on new ground and it's new and I don't understand it.

Which means what I need is: time and space to acclimate/integrate.

Over the last month, I started a project I have been wanting to do for years.

I've been writing this daily blog for a long time. I want to say 2014? But maybe earlier than that.

It was an experiment to move it from the membership out onto my blog, and I like having it here. I like sharing it.

The next step of that experiment was to also share it on social media - like, where people actually could read it, lol!!!! I know you are reading this, and I appreciate all of the people who are here, SO MUCH!

AND there aren't a lot of people here, compared to the people following me on social media. AND there aren't a lot of ways for new people to find me here, compared to how they can find me on social media.

In the past, Google helped with that! I had lots of "high ranking" blog posts so people could find blog posts from Google or Pinterests. It just doesn't work that way anymore.

But putting these blogs, which are my honest journaling, on socal media??!?!?!

YIKES

So logistically and strategically I knew it was the right move and every part of me was like FUCK NOW, so I didn't do it, for years.

Also, I hate Canva, the tool I was using to turn writing into "social media slides" and the thought of making Canva posts for every day of the week was ridiculously unappealing.

Until about a month ago.

Suddenly I felt ready. I realized - I don't have to share the whole blog post, I can share parts of it. And I also realized - I can look at what other tools I could use besides Canva. I immediately found Adobe Express which is the same thing, but just is a better fit for me. And it's a few dollars cheaper!

So, I've been sharing my daily posts on social media for about a month.

At first my process was really messy. But each week I looked at what felt messy and tried different approaches and now - it all feels smooth and integrated into my routines.

I write A LOT. Writing helps me process my thoughts and feelings.

Once a week I go through my writing and schedule it as blog posts for the following week, then I take those blog posts and put whatever parts I want into Adobe Express to create social media posts, and schedule them too. So I don't actually have to post every day, I just schedule once a week.

I couldn't have started this way because it's too many moving parts. It took a few weeks to get the hand of Adobe Express and figure out what fonts and colours I want, etc. Each week that part feels a bit more playful and fun.

BUT THIS IS A LOT.

Thinking of doing a thing FOR YEARS and then finally doing it and being 1 month into it and starting to feel like "I've got this"... that's a lot.

I need space to acclimate to being here. And space to integrate this new aspect of me - the me who is DOING IT instead of THINKING ABOUT IT.

If we rush this part, things can more easily fall apart.

So, acclimation + integration are what my dream and myself need this week.

*There is no Co-Dreaming call today, since we had the New Moon call on Tuesday. The Co-Dreaming calls happen on weeks when we don't have a New Moon call.

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!

Integration + Acclimation [Weekly Dream Status Report] Read More »

I feel like I am wasting my time going in circles

I just found this journaling I did in September 2024.

I feel like I am wasting all of my time, going in circles, accomplishing nothing. 

Oh wow. That’s an interesting feeling! What’s going on there? Because… it looks to me like you’re working on a really interesting creative project. Where is this self doubt coming from?

It’s not self doubt! It’s…. I don’t know. Maybe self doubt?

What do you think it is?

I’m not doing enough, and of the things I am doing, I am not doing them well enough.

Ok that’s some self criticism. And a general lack of patience with the creative process. Do you agree with that?

I don’t know, am I criticizing myself or am I just being honest?

Ok WOW. No. This is absolutely TEXTBOOK self criticism, even the belief underneath that says I deserve the criticism.

What? You think you don’t deserve to be criticized?

Actually, no.

Why not?

Because I’m doing my best, I’m in the process, I’m showing up and taking steps. What more could I do?

You are literally on the verge of taking a nap.

Yeah, because it’s exhausting to keep taking steps while I have you pushing against me, criticizing everything I do.

Suddenly I feel this in my body. Heavy. Achy.

++++++

Re-reading this, in June of 2025, is intense.

I do remember that feeling like... I was so critical of myself while also feeling like being kinder to myself wasn't the answer, GETTING MY SHIT TOGETHER was the answer.

This was a year after my husband left me suddenly. And 9 months after my step-son was released from three months in the hospital, after an equally sudden life-threatening illness.

Looking back, I think I did an amazing job of keeping it together but at the time, I remember how stressful everything was... and how I kept feeling like I was failing at everything.

But what's really amazing is that I don't relate to this, today.

My inner narrative has changed so dramatically. This thing where "if things are hard I automatically assume I'm doing something wrong" doesn't happen anymore.

I am so supportive and encouraging of myself.

"Oh honey yes, take a nap, you're tired" 

I've also done a LOT of deep-dive explorations into: if things are hard I automatically assume I'm doing something wrong.

There is so much, culturally, that causes us to blame ourselves for when things don't go well in our lives.

There is a narrative present in dominant culture, and REALLY present in the new age, new thought, holistic wellness, "live your best life" industries, that everything should always be perfect and if it isn't that's because we messed up.

It's part of the meritocracy which is a part of white supremacy, imperialism, colonialism and capitalism which are merged together into this big evil empire whose roots are in everything.

Including our brains.

So, looking back on this journaling from September 2024 - I see how much I've cleared it out of my own mind AND I see how I see it more clearly out in the world now.

Like I got out from under it...

SOMEWHAT.

Enough to see it more clearly than I was a year ago.

I cried while writing this.

Remembering how it felt to be in the clutches of this kind of self-blame thinking.

And thinking of how many people are in it.

And how we blame ourselves for "not doing better" when actually we're up against really hard stuff, and we're doing amazing, all things considered.

There's so much more to say about this.

But this is what I've got for today.

Come dream with us

 Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

I feel like I am wasting my time going in circles Read More »

This is not new information

(I wrote this in April and just found it - so the "new" meditation I talk about is the one we do now 🙂

At our Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice call, we did a new version of the meditation and I just loved it.

I had a pretty intense experience in the meditation.

And out of it came a realization about a different way to do something, a way that would make it easier for me.

And it felt like “Oh wow, this is the PERFECT idea! I’m so grateful for it!”

But later in the day I did remember- this idea has come to me NUMEROUS TIMES already.

In fact I was starting to do it just a few weeks ago and then I got off track with it.

I love that the idea KEEPS COMING BACK. Because it’s a good one.

OF COURSE I feel annoyed and discouraged about how many times I've had, and forgotten, this idea.

But I don't need to focus on that....

BECAUSE IT’S A PRACTICE.

I am practicing doing it and right now that practice looks like not doing it and forgetting all about it and then remembering and thinking of ways to do it that would make it easier for me to keep up with it.

So, I identified WHY I stopped doing it the last time.

I realized it makes sense I stopped doing it - because I had attached it to another task I do every week and it turns out, doubling the workload in that way makes it too much.

This should be a task I do separately.

So now I can try it this way, and see how this goes.

Getting an idea, and then implementing it “perfectly” as in, doing it “right” the first time and then sticking with it forever - IS NOT POSSIBLE.

Getting an idea, struggling to implement it in a way that really works for you, then dropping it and picking it back up and dropping it again and forgetting all about it - this is how it actually works.

It's not POSSIBLE to just implement every new idea you have on the way to your dream because... when you are creative dreaming you are constantly putting yourself in brand new territory.

When you are somewhere brand new, doing something brand new, there isn't a way to already know how to do it. You only already know how to do the things you already do!

Experimenting, exploring, learning, getting lost in resistance and doubt and fear... this is the way.

So, as long as we keep trying, keep practicing, keep processing our feelings about it and listening to our inner wisdom about what to try next… then we find OUR UNIQUE WAY of doing the thing.

So if you're fumbling and losing ideas and getting lost - CONGRATULATIONS! You're on your way.

Come dream with us

 Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

This is not new information Read More »

Journal Prompts for when you feel behind

This feeling is a sticky cloud. It hangs around me, it moves with me, it's not heavy or anything but it's always there.

So I ask it...

Behind compared to what?

Compared to where I want to be.

Where do you want to be?

More present, more spacious, more creative.

Isn’t that available to you right here?

Yeah but…

But?

And the cloud disappears in a puff of smoke.

"I AM BEHIND" usually just means you're comparing yourself to some kind of externally imposed idea of who you are, where you should be, and what is actually possible for you.

These externally imposed ideas come out of dominant culture. (I started working on what might be a verrrrry long post about what dominant culture is, in relation to how it impacts us spiritually, creatively and with our dreams)

So these ideas aren't acknowledging you who really are. In a multitude of ways.

And I am behind suggests a linear path that doesn't exist.

In reality, when it comes to creative dreaming, you can feel completely stuck one day and be moving a million miles an hour the next day.

Where you are in this moment is not relevant to anything.

Journal Prompts for when you feel behind:

Where do you want to be?

Why do you want to be there, and not here? You really need to be articulate this clearly.

What does the path between here and there look like?

Are you acknowledging how far you've already come?

Is there something you are doing that is slowing you down and do you feel ready to stop doing it?

Is there a chance that the pace you're moving at is the right pace?

Do you trust yourself to get there in the right time?

Are you showing up in the ways you want to show up?

One of the cardinal rules of Creative Dreaming is that the path will not look like you think it will.

We are *always* wrong about what it will take to get to our dream.

A L W A Y S

Are you judging your process based on your (incorrect!) preconceived notions of what you thought the path would look like?

Are you judging your process based on how you see other people doing it? (AKA comparing your insides to their outsides?)

Are you acknowledging how brave you are for showing up at all?

What does this part of you who feels behind really need from you?

(Beyond you "being there already".... what does it REALLY need? Safety? Approval? Love? Validation?)

Embracing your process and being proud of your progress is a thing that comes with practice.

Just like every other part of Creative Dreaming!

This is why we practice together every day in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership.

Come dream with us

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Journal Prompts for when you feel behind Read More »

Bear the Life Coach wanted to offer his thoughts on practicing hope. [Year of Hope Week 26]

Year of Hope

Every Monday in 2025 there will be a new journal prompt in the Year of Hope classroom in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership.

Get this week's journal prompt here.

I'd love to hear your thoughts! Leave them in the comments at the bottom of that page so we can discuss this as a group. Practicing hope in community is MAGIC.

Bear the Life Coach wanted to offer his thoughts on practicing hope. And I’m so glad he offered, because I think he’s a master.

The other day I went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. It was about 1:30. He ran over to his bowl, then turned around and looked at me, to say “feed me”.

I said “ARE YOU CRAZY? It’s the middle of the day!”

He knows it’s the middle of the day and he knows he gets dinner every day at 5 and yet every time I go into the kitchen he is so freaking hopeful about getting a treat.

And it’s true that if I am getting a snack, and if a part of it is something that he would like, he’s getting a little treat.

But it’s also true that more times than not - there isn’t anything for him. 

But he keeps hoping. And he keeps showing up.

And he doesn’t get pissy with me when there is no snack. He just goes back to whatever he was doing.

His level of hope just stays steady no matter what the outcome.

I’ve been thinking of hope less as a feeling and more as a direction. I want to keep moving in the direction that hope would send me in, regardless of how I am feeling.

Hopelessness wants me to just give up on anything good. Or wait until things feel easier.

Hope asks me to keep moving.

When the outcomes are not what I hoped for, this can get painful. It feels heavier and heavier to keep moving in the direction of hope.

That's how it feels but... actually it GETS heavier and heavier IF I am not processing the pain that comes up when the outcomes are not what I'd hoped for.

AND YES sometimes this is just too much and we need a break. Absolutely. And I need to look at: where do I need more support or a new approach, so that I can deal with the heaviness?

So this week I am trying to call on the spirit of Bear’s never-ending hope for a treat.

 

Come dream with us

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Bear the Life Coach wanted to offer his thoughts on practicing hope. [Year of Hope Week 26] Read More »

This is the dream. Stay on the path. [Weekly Dream Status Report]

On Fridays I do these "Dream Status Report" prompts to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path.

There are journaling sheets for doing this! these are available for everyone, not just membership members. Download them here.

Another really weird week.

The wildfires have been burning for over a month in my province, and in the 2 provinces on either side. These are such remote and heavily treed forests, the fires are just really hard to put out and the fires are so big and numerous there aren't enough firefighters or resources. So they focus on protecting hydro corridors, cities, towns and First Nations. Which means they could keep burning for some time and I'm just hoping there is no more loss of life and none of the fires make it into our communities.

And I feel like I am shifting from the shock of such ferocious wildfires starting in early May (our "wildfire season" starts in late July), to hoping that they will all be out soon, to accepting that this is where we are.

I am really sensitive to smoke, my eyes, mouth and throat are burning, I'm having headaches. I finally realized - Oh I need an air purifier! And I'm so glad one will be arriving here tomorrow morning.

So a lot of my routines are, again, changing.

I watch the air quality reports, because of shifting winds there is the odd day when the air is fine in the city and I can go for a bike ride and even sit in the park with a coffee and my journal which is how I love to start the day at this time of the year.

Plus the escalating chaos of the political situation next door.

AND STILL

Creatively this was such a good week.

I am still sinking deeper into my NEW ways of doing things. Moving more slowly and intentionally than I ever have in my life, and getting things done in ways that make me feel really good.

I feel aligned with the magic of the Creative Dream Incubator.

I am amazed at how clear, focused and energized I am... sometimes. Like, I can really GET TO WORK. And when I feel that start to fade, I immediately go rest.

I am noticing that when I was younger I just had more energy, and even if focus was starting to wane, I had all these ways of trying to keep myself "on track". And it did not feel like I was forcing myself at the time.. but if I did that now, it would feel that way.

And now - FEELING GOOD is the top priority. When I feel good, the things happen. I trust this 100%

So I rest more, I eat well, I drink lots of water. I am reading really good books that fill my brain with new perspectives and I'm watching trashy tv shows to give my brain a break. (Highly recommend the book Theory of Water - Nishnaabe Maps To The Times Ahead by Leanne Betasamosake Simpson)

And I just so deeply engaged with my dream.

What's magic is that I have stopped having expectations of myself, in terms of productivity. I do have a plan for what I want to do next but I am not worried about the timing.

I am really noticing how much my younger self wanted to move as fast as possible and how much that is no longer possible for me and how at first this felt like such a loss but I am starting to see it's actually a huge gift.

The soul of my dream showed up a little weird today.

It was a path. On a sunny day (but it didn't feel too hot). A paved path, easy to walk, with a slight incline, with a meadow on either side with wildflowers.

And I was like... but where is my dream? Is it at the end of the path? But I couldn't see that far.

Then my dream said - this is it. You are here. This is the part of the dream you need to see today:

It's a smooth paved path with a slight incline.

That's when I realised/remembered that my dream often comes to be as a staircase. Like I am taking steps and I should keep going.

A smooth path with a slight incline, with wildflowers on either side, is such an upgrade.

And the dream was stressing: YOU ARE HERE. YOU ARE IN IT.

The dream is not a destination to reach. I am here, in it, walking the path.

This felt so reassuring.

What I need, and my dream needs, is the same right now: stay on the path.

This feels so helpful for grounding all of these news ways of being. Slowing down. Releasing expectations. Following my creative flow.

Co-Dreaming/Co-Working call is today!

We'll start with a short meditation for connecting with the soul of your dream (like the Dream Lab) and then have time for whatever you want to do - planning next week, working on your projects, sharing your updates, talking about something that is stuck with your dreams or just hanging out in the magic of the group.

Call details are here. Replay will be there a few hours after we're done today.

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!

This is the dream. Stay on the path. [Weekly Dream Status Report] Read More »

Where was I last week, anyway?

I just asked myself “Where was I last week, anyway?”

It’s Monday morning and I am doing my new Monday morning routine, sitting in my favourite cafe, going through things I wrote last week and putting it into blog posts for next week.

This week the pickings are a bit slim.

And I’m feeling this LONGING for more journaling, meditation and writing time.

And I’m wondering… where was I last week anyway? Why wasn’t I doing more of this?

Oh right. It’s the week I “launched” the Journaling Kit for Existential Dread. I didn’t do a “real” “internet launch” but it was a LOT of Outer Work to get all the pieces in place to put it out there.

Weeks when I do a LOT of Outer Work I tend to do less Dream Work and Inner Work.

But it was the prior weeks of more Dream Work and Inner Work that led to the burst of productivity in the Outer Work.

And then I miss the magic of Dream Work and Inner Work and shift the balance over to those.

Then I start to feel like I am not making enough process in the Outer Work and shift back.

It’s not like I find some perfect balance every day, or every week.

Creative Dream Incubator Members: we have whole libraries of practices and classes for Dream Work, Inner Work and Outer Work and some classes on how to use Creative Dream Alchemy to bring it all together.

 

Come dream with us

 Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Where was I last week, anyway? Read More »

You are on your way. No reason to be there already!

You are on your way. There's no reason to be there already.

My dream sent me this message and... it's just as simple statement of truth but it LANDED like exactly the healing I needed in that moment.

It took away all the pressure I was feeling, that I hadn't realized I was putting on myself.

And it felt me feeling proud of myself for being exactly where I am.

This happened during one of our Co-Working/Co-Dreaming calls where we start the call with the Dream Lab meditation, for calling in the soul of your dream.

In all of my years of doing this work I've found that LISTENING to your dream in this way works so much better than any visualization or “manifesting exercise”.

Like - your dream doesn't really need you to try to force it into existence with your willpower. It needs you to slow down and listen to what it's trying to show you.

Your dream is a teacher and a guide and a part of your soul. Not a prize that the universe owes you.

When you really listen to it - your dream can send you THE RIGHT MESSAGE at the right time.

And some days it will land in a way gives you exactly what you need, even when you didn't know what you needed.

The internet is full of helpful memes. There is a lot of good advice to be found in a lot of places.

But the RIGHT IDEA landing AT THE RIGHT TIME and IN THE RIGHT WAY is a completely different ballgame.

And this is what your own dream can offer you that nothing else ever can.

I HIGHLY recommend this one as a daily-ish practice.

Creative Dream Incubator members: find it here.

There are 2 versions of the Dream Lab - one is 10 minutes long (with an 8 minute meditation and 2 minutes of music to take some notes in your journal after) and the other is 20 minutes long - just meditation. And there's a workbook for exploring the soul of your dream more deeply.

Come dream with us

 Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

You are on your way. No reason to be there already! Read More »

How receptive am I, really? 

Do I close myself off from receiving when I am overwhelmed in an effort to keep myself safe?

And does this actually do anything to create more safety?

When did I learn to equate lack of change with safety?

What if staying open to change is the most dynamic, creative, safe and pleasurable way to live my life?

These questions came out of my meditation with the soul of my dream, using the Dream Lab practice which helps you explore the soul of your dream and understand all that it has to offer you.

This get really trippy sometimes!

Today my dream wanted me to see all of these layers of … stuff… that I put between me and it. And how they’re not serving any REAL purpose. They don’t even protect me from the things I would like to be protected from, they just make it harder for me to have what I want.

As a creative - I feel pretty alone in this.

I look around at how other creatives share their work and I don’t see anyone else struggling with it the way I do.

I am comparing their outsides to my insides.

As a coach - I know it’s pretty much universal.

It’s such a gift to me, to be able to see so deeply into other people’s process and after doing this for so many years, I see all the ways that we are the same.

The ways we betray ourselves to feel safe are cultural. 

They are learned, they are not an inherent part of being alive.

We can unlearn them.

This is why we PRACTICE.

Come dream with us

 Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

How receptive am I, really?  Read More »

Feeling like a failure for not keeping up with the Year of Hope like I’d hoped [Year of Hope Week 25]

Year of Hope

Every Monday in 2025 there will be a new journal prompt in the Year of Hope classroom in the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership.

Get this week's journal prompt here.

I'd love to hear your thoughts! Leave them in the comments at the bottom of that page so we can discuss this as a group. Practicing hope in community is MAGIC.

I am still doing my Year of Hope project. But I am behind.

I have this HUGE (9x11”) planner with a page a day plus an extra page each week and this project was to fill it over the course of the year. I didn't say I would ALWAYS fill a page every day.  I knew I would get behind sometimes, and then catch up... but I have been consistently behind for a while and only getting further behind.

It would be easy to say to myself “It’s fine! You SAID you wouldn’t necessarily do this every day, but by the end of the year you would fill this! You could always end the year with a huge journaling binge at the end of December! It would be fun!”

It would be easy to just… tell myself not to feel this way.

Especially since, on the spectrum between hopefulness and hopelessness, I am living solidly on the side of hopefulness.

I feel all the things I had hoped the Year of Hope would bring me this year.

But there is no magic in avoiding our feelings, or telling ourselves to feel differently than we feel.

All feelings are forms of inner knowing

So what is this inner knowing telling me?

Taking my feeling that I am a failure into the Un-Sticking Station

My feeling that I am a failure is 5 years old. Dressing up as Holly Hobby. I give her a hug and I can feel the anxiety radiating from her.

OMG! I was sitting with this… and then I suddenly noticed that I was on Facebook! So funny how resistance takes over and I don't even notice I've let the process to go scroll.

Coming back to it. There are so many layers here around perfectionism and worthiness.

It’s soooo heavy.

And my five year old self is trapped in it. It’s like iron was melted and poured down her, though it wasn’t hot and didn’t hurt, but then it solidified at her feet and now she’s completely stuck.

(In this mediation, I am imagining that iron is the most heavy material in the universe, doesn’t matter if that’s true, that’s what is happening here)

There are so many layers here around perfectionism and worthiness. Like the more I look, the more layers there are.

And no matter how much work I do on this, there are still so many layers.

This time when I step away from the meditation I do it more deliberately.

I go make breakfast (I had frozen blueberries sitting in a bowl to thaw, so I just add yogurt and granola) and then eat my breakfast thinking about this.

This is cultural and personal and I think about all the ways I have internalized perfectionism. And I have freed myself from it in so many ways, and yet there is more work to be done.

This is where I notice that I’ve been defining “working through this feeling of failure” as “getting back on track with this journal”.

Which is actually just LETTING MY FEELINGS CONTROL ME.

The feeling that I am a failure for not keeping up is saying that I AM A FAILURE... UNTIL I catch up... and so THE ONLY SOLUTION is to catch up.

But when I was contemplating how old and layered this perfectionism is and the places where I have freed myself of it and the ways I would like to be more free… there was space there to not feel like a failure AND not catch up with the journal.

But yes I think I did go into this meditation, unintentionally, with the goal that it would “get me back on track” with the journal.

Healing would ask me to explore what it would mean to be ok with NOT getting back on track.

Then something shifts in me.

There is a lightness in my chest, kind of a radiating energy.

When I look at my 5 year old self, she is wearing iron shoes but she can lift her feet. She is not stuck in iron now.

When I went to offer love to the inner 5 year old, I just ended up with all these different thoughts and ideas and I followed that instead of finishing the meditation.

It’s always better to be with your experience than necessarily work through the guided meditation.

And we can always come back to it.

Like, this deep and layered perfectionism is not healed in one 15 minute meditation.

But I received a new insight around it, and I shifted something, and I am going to hold this idea… that letting go of perfectionism and NOT catching up with the Year of Hope journal IS HEALING, whereas making myself “get on track” so that I don’t have to feel that feeling of failure - is letting my fear of uncomfortable feelings control me.

And underneath that is a real desire to be spending more time with the journal.

I feel like I am holding hope in a new way in my life, but I also want the journal time, you know?

Come dream with us

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

Feeling like a failure for not keeping up with the Year of Hope like I’d hoped [Year of Hope Week 25] Read More »

I did the thing! Kind of. [Weekly Dream Status Report]

On Fridays I do these "Dream Status Report" prompts to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path.

There are journaling sheets for doing this! these are available for everyone, not just membership members. Download them here.

This is another week of"Creative Dreaming in a dystopia"

I DID THE FREAKING THING!!!

And I did it while new wildfires started in my province, these ones further north where there aren't a lot of roads - and some of the roads were on fire so people were unable to evacuate on their own. I was checking the news a lot to see what was happening as the military was flying people out as fast as possible.

Not that the fires are near me or threatening me, I'm not experiencing it but I am crying a lot of tears over it.

I also finished the Journaling Kit for Existential Dread - I will have sent it out before this post goes out!

It's hard to have the words to talk about this week. I finally did this thing I'd been thinking of for years, it felt B I G but also I suddenly felt ready.

AND

It took A LOT of energy just to acclimate to "being the person who is doing the thing" after being the person who was dreaming of the thing for years. There were A LOT of feelings to move through in all of that.

And I am so proud of myself for giving myself space to do that. To BE WITH all the conflicting feelings, including an awful lot of frustration with myself for not having done it sooner.

AND I didn't actually do THE WHOLE THING. There is a whole other chunk of it to do, and I am probably not going to do that next week either. It felt really good to break it down into a few steps, and I really want to give myself space between the steps.

And that's what I need now - SPACE to acclimate to where I am.

And my dream is like... Oh yes. Because it is excited about the next steps, but if I take them without acclimating to this one first, I am likely to fall down and roll way back.

Co-Dreaming/Co-Working call is today!

We'll start with a short meditation for connecting with the soul of your dream (like the Dream Lab) and then have time for whatever you want to do - planning next week, working on your projects, sharing your updates, talking about something that is stuck with your dreams or just hanging out in the magic of the group.

Call details are here. Replay will be there a few hours after we're done today.

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!

I did the thing! Kind of. [Weekly Dream Status Report] Read More »

My creative process as I try something new

You may have noticed I’ve been sharing photos of myself holding my Year of Hope journal, to share different pages.

I really love this.

I love sharing it here on the blog, and I love having these photos to share on social media, to put my work out there.

I did a lot of experiments, and lot of them felt really uncomfortable and didn't look the way I had hoped.

Then it turned out I really loved taking these photos beside the window in my bedroom, where there is that black part of my wall mural, and it’s right beside the window.

But then I re-arranged a few things and there is a plant in there way there which I have to move over each time I want to sit there to do a photo.

And now that summer weather is here, my portable AC is there too.

It’s just a lot to move around.

And I really want to have as FEW obstacles as possible to continuing to do this as a practice.

So I started taking the photos downstairs beside the window in my workspace.

Which is ok - but I am missing the BLACK in the background and how that feels. And the window is making weird shadows.

So today I just… moved a lamp over there to counteract the window and now - no shadows!

And I just realized - I can paint this wall black, too. There is a colourful mural there which fades out into white… it can just as easily fade out into black and give me that dramatic background I want.

One step at a time.

I wouldn’t have thought of all of this at once.

I figured out how I want to do it... because I started doing it.

I looked around to find a way to try it, and trying it showed me more about what I need - in terms of lighting, background, and space to put my tripod to do the photos. And each thing I adjusted made it a little easier until now when it feels like it’s all coming together.

This is how most things come together!

Not as a “oh I got this perfectly the first time” but more as “I showed up imperfectly, I tried out my ideas, I reflected on how that went and what I wish was different, I made adjustments, I kept showing up, I made more adjustments, now it feels pretty good to keep going knowing I will likely keep making adjustments and it can all get better and easier over time”.

Where are you waiting to be ready to take a perfect step and where can you take some imperfect steps?

Come dream with us

 Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

My creative process as I try something new Read More »

There isn’t a way to pursue a dream and not be HORRIBLY disappointed along the way.

The “good vibes only” “just think positive” “fake it till you make it” approach is NOT going to help you deal with this inevitable disappointment.

It actually sets you up to feel WORSE about the inevitable disappointments. Because it piles on a steaming layer of shame, telling you that you shouldn't feel how you feel!

What you need are tools, support and a mindset that accept disappointment as a part of the process and help you work through it.

In the Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership you get 3 videos for disappointment:

  1. One about normalizing disappointment as a part of the process.
  2. One alchemy meditation for nourishing yourself and relaxing your uncomfortable feelings of disappointment 
  3. One alchemy meditation for receiving the holy gifts of disappointment. Because yes, there is always a GIFT in the disappointment.

Your disappointment is a not a personal failing!!!

It's just a part of the process.

If you can make a dream come true without feeling any disappointment along the way - you are not stretching yourself at all. You are not growing as a person. You are either thinking WAY too small, are prioritizing safety/certainty over authenticity, or you have a lot of money and are just buying your dreams, you're not engaging in a growth/healing/creative process with them.

Come dream with us

 Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

There isn’t a way to pursue a dream and not be HORRIBLY disappointed along the way. Read More »

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