I have everything I need to do anything I want

By / / , , ,

Dream Book

This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I have everything I need to do anything I want

OK wow as I am writing this, I am listening to this song. So perfect! (Success, expanded version, by Beautiful Chorus)

This is another one of the mantras that I believe is usually true.

Often we’re looking at what we wish we had, in terms of supports for our dreams, instead of using what we DO have.

I wrote this mantra in my journal with my weekly business check-in and my list of things I want to do. And it all felt so good when I wrote it. This mantra is such a healing balm for me... and yet...

I had not had a week go this OFF in a while, lol.

Like, none of the things I planned ended up being what happened.

And when I look at my list, and read this mantra, it’s like WTF?

And it feels like… trust the process.

Weekly planning is so good! (Dream Book members check out the: Creative Genius Planning Sessions and Dream Plan Kit)

AND forcing ourselves to follow through on every plan is not good.

So some weeks turn out like this.

I think it’s important to notice - are there particular tasks that ALWAYS end up undone? What’s going on there? (Take it into the Un-Sticking Station to explore it.)

But if once in a while your whole list is just a disaster? Maybe just accept that this is a part of the process? And ask:

Am I sure these are the right tasks?

Where/why am I resisting doing these things?

What would help make it easier to get this stuff done next week?

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

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Do the work [Weekly Dream Status Report]

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Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!

My Dream Status Report for this week:

PART ONE: 

My dream is: I want to get an RV or camper van and travel… WITH MY CAT BEAR!!!! Create a comfy cozy home on wheels, and write + make art on the road while we have adventures.

I want it because: It feels so sweet and makes me happy.

When I have it I will feel: I think I will feel so happy, free and thrilled with my life.

PART TWO: 

Invite the soul of your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.

My dream shows up as a tree on a warm day. The leaves are sparkling where the sun hits.

PART THREE:

Last week’s focus was: Give myself space to feel and process and heal and trust in the magic of my dreams and the beauty of my future.

What happened in the last week? 

This was another rough week on the divorce front. And a lot of resistance about that. My new life is taking shape in front of me, I am happy and excited about this so I'd like to not have any thoughts or feelings about the divorce, lol.

But, again, I remind myself - I want to BE WITH all parts of me, all the thoughts and feelings, give them space to process and release and be able to move into my future not holding onto anything from this, except the growth and learning.

I remembered how my husband and I knew our relationship was sacred, and talked about the ways it was healing us. I want to believe in this - how if the marriage was sacred then the divorce must be too. That changes my whole experience of this time - it's like a vortex of healing and transformation. When I can hold onto that perspective, everything shifts. So I want to keep learning how to hold onto it WITHOUT denying or pushing away my actual feelings in the moment. It's this constant tightrope walk.

BUT IN THE REST OF MY LIFE THINGS ARE SO GOOOOOD!!!

I'm working on a new free class - it's a creative dream challenge. I feel SO excited about it as a way of introducing people to my work and I LOVE that feeling of LOVING the ways my ideas are coming together.

I am co-working with a new friend who is a huge inspiration to me. I joined a craftivism group and am meeting them this weekend. The days are getting so much longer and our winter was frighteningly short and warm (the river I usually skate on barely froze over - the slate paths were only open for a few days this year!!!) and it feels like spring now.

What am I learning/How do I feel about this?

I have been giving myself SO MUCH MORE SPACE to process and feel and think and this has been so good. I am filling journal pages and just, not learning anything really but appreciating the magic of feeling more connected to all parts of me.

What do I need now?

As I sit with this question I just feel so grateful that I have been so good at figuring out what I need, and giving it to myself.

What does my dream need now?

I check in with the tree. It needs water, and a little fertilizer. It's already got plenty of sunshine.

This feels like it's asking me to "do the work". Like - the tree can't water itself. I get it.

Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:

Do the work. And do all the things that help me be able to do the work.

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

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I am a healer, visionary + witch

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And if you are reading this - you are too.

Do you know how many people read what I write can’t make any sense it?

You get it because you are a visionary, healer + witch too.

I want to acknowledge how powerful it is that you keep showing up.

The path to a dream is LONG. And you are doing it!

I share my daily steps here, sometimes I go in circles, sometimes I am stuck, sometimes I have brilliant insights, sometimes it’s incredibly boring, sometimes just really weird.

And we all know - this is what it’s like.

But somehow we all have the idea that… it’s easier for other people and it should be easier for us. The path should be linear. Every step we take should make sense. We should be more productive and cheerful. We should be moving faster.

None of that is true.

You’re still here.

You are doing amazing.

I’m cheering for you.

If you need help figuring out your next steps - let me know! Tell me what’s going on and I can suggests tools + classes from Dream Book to work with. Or if you’re not in Dream Book, join us here!

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

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Dreams do fall apart sometimes. That doesn’t mean you were wrong to pursue them.

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I keep noticing this about my divorce - I am frustrated with myself for marrying the “wrong” person.

I’m asking - how did it feel so RIGHT to marry him when obviously it was a big mistake? Why didn’t I know better?

And these are all such un-helpful questions.

But underneath them is this big raging fear that I’ve been needing to sit with:

Can I trust the way I make decisions?

Because it DID feel SO RIGHT to marry him and this is where that led me so… do I stop doing things that feel SO RIGHT out of fear that everything will blow up in my face?

Now - all FEELINGS and REACTIONS to feeling are VALID and all but they are not TRUE.

And while I’ve been sitting with this feeling because it keeps coming back to me I know that actually I didn’t do anything wrong.

A lot of traumatic things happened to my partner before and while we were together. And his increasing reliance on alcohol to cope with that trauma changed him dramatically and altered what kind of relationship was possible.

None of that is on me.

AND just because it did all blow up in my face, does that mean I shouldn’t have done it?

Is it a GOAL or a DREAM of mine to never have things go wrong?

Because YIKES! The kind of control you need to try to exert over the universe to avert all disaster is not appealing to me at all.

So.

If I am listening to my own truth, accepting that things happened the way they happened is the only way.

AND

This is hard.

This isn’t just about my divorce.

I’ve worked with SO MANY PEOPLE who followed their dreams and it made a huge mess in their lives.

This does happen. It IS a thing.

There is risk in following a dream! Not because dreams are inherently risky, but because our culture doesn't support us in being our true selves. Our culture rewards conformity, the people who conform the most AND have the most intersections of privilege are going to be the safest.

Following a dream is a risk and doesn’t always pay off.

I mean there is lots to be said about how failure is inevitable, it teaches us and helps us along the path, and we need to normalize the idea that things WILL fall apart and we WILL create something new from the ashes.

But most people feel alone in this, because no one is talking about it.

Everyone is out there sharing little quotes about healing and courage and following your dreams and no one is sharing quotes about being in the mess that’s left when it all blows up in your face.

But this is a part of it.

Nothing is forever. Relationships. Businesses. Careers. Our health and our lives!

So, these questions that are coming up for me about CAN I TRUST THE WAY I MAKE DECISIONS? CAN I TRUST MY DREAMS? are not actually questions, they are fears.

Totally valid things to feel.

I am sifting through a LOT of different conflicting feelings right now. And I want to validate and FEEL them all… but not let them make decisions for me.

Your dreams may blow up in our face and make a huge mess in your life and this does not mean that you did anything wrong.

Shit happens!

You are a creative genius and you can make magic out whatever life throws your way.

Dream Book Resources:

When your dream falls apart

Two processes for working with disappointment + the whole inner work library

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

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I woke up with a new dream

By / / , ,

I woke up this morning feeling AMAZING. Suddenly I had a dream: getting a little camper van and going on trips with Bear. (This is brand new, there is lots of research to do, maybe a camper van or an RV or a trailer, I don’t know!)

Writing and making art and having little adventures. Traveling AND being at home!! (Or, a tinier version of home)

It felt sooooo goooooood. Magical and light, setting of little sparks in my heart.

Dreaming is a function of healing. Just like healing is a function of dreaming.

I’ve been in another really hard part of my divorce process.

Since our separation I’ve been grieving the dreams and plans I had for my future with him, and how so many of them don’t feel right or seem possible on my own or with someone else.

And I haven’t had anything to replace any of that with.

And I haven’t WANTED to have anything to replace any of that with because taking the time to be with the loss and be in the unknown is vital for healing and healing is vital for creating a better future.

So, waking up with a brand new dream that feels so warm and light in my heart is really everything.

It’s bittersweet because it’s a reminder of what I lost and all the ways my former partner let me down.

But it’s mostly a bright light showing me that my best life is still ahead of me.

Having a THING I REALLY REALLY WANT feels so good!!!! YAY CREATIVE DREAMS!

That’s the end of this post, but… I am writing so much right now, so I wanted to share something I had written previously that I hadn’t shared:

The dreams I was working towards have died. The life I was planning with my husband is over.

So what now?

I don’t know.

When we first split up, I instantly dreamed of a healing cocoon and did what I could to turn this transitional time into that.

And now, I’m stepping out of the healing cocoon and it’s a shock out here. I don’t know where to go. I don’t know what’s next.

It’s not like me to not know what I want, so that feels disorienting. But I don’t want to rush and pick something. I want to really dig in here and explore what feels possible now.

So I’m going to set up an art picnic, right here where I am.

Make some art. Figure it out.

Some prompts:

What do I wish for?

What am I dissatisfied with?

What do I want more of?

What do I want less of?

What are the little things that bring me joy?

And some Dream Book resources:

Dream Finder Coaching Circle

The Biggest Dream

 

 

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

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I trust my magic

By / / , , ,

I trust my magic

This is the mantra I got in this week’s Dream Book journaling + alchemy kit: I trust my magic.

HOLY CRAP this is exactly the mantra I needed.

I've also been using "I am a powerful witch"

This keeps coming up on our calls lately and I am feeling it in my practice - the need to dig in deeper to the Dream Work, to help counteract how hard Inner Work and Outer Work are right now.

I've been journaling more lately, and one thing I am doing is just writing out all the things I want, like affirmations. "I am now open to receive...." "I feel powerful enough to ...."  "I know I am ready to..." things like that.

Throughout the day I remind myself… I trust my magic. I am a powerful witch.

It’s helping.

We do need to remind ourselves of who the fuck we ARE sometimes.

As I keep sharing on our calls - all the ways that dominant culture fail us has been on my mind a lot.

Not that I want to sit around pointing fingers and not taking responsibility for my own life, but because I see the impacts every day, on all of us.

As I connect with my new dreams for the second half of my life, I have this growing feeling about how we all deserve better.

Life is sacred. It’s a gift.

Our culture degrades this gift in the name of greed.

None of this is new.

But it all feels more urgent to me.

I TRUST MY MAGIC has been helping me NOT feel helpless in the face of the state of the world, and instead look for ways to be a part of the future I want.

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

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Space to feel, process, heal + trust in the magic of my dreams + the beauty of my future [Weekly Dream Status Report]

By / / ,

Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!

My Dream Status Report for this week:

PART ONE: 

My dream is: I FOUND MY FREAKING NEXT DREAM THIS WEEK!!!!!! I AM SO EXCITED, LOL! The dream I had been working with feels more like a goal, I goal I really want to get but not a DREAM and the goal supports this dream, too. Here it is: I want to get an RV or camper van and travel… WITH MY CAT BEAR!!!! Create a comfy cozy home on wheels, and write + make art on the road while we have adventures. I woke up with this dream Monday morning after a difficult weekend and it feels so good in my heart.

I want it because: I feel so much desire for this, like I NEEEEEED to do it.

When I have it I will feel: I’ve been working through a lot of “stuff” about being about to turn 50. I’ve always been excited about new decades, but right now? Starting a new decade when my life just fell apart? Not even knowing what I want next? I felt unprepared and now I feel SO EXCITED to turn 50. So, this dream is already a healing balm. And when I have it I will feel so happy, expansive and thrilled with my life.

PART TWO: 

Invite the soul of your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.

It’s a lantern! It feels like the light of my soul, here to guide me along. That moving towards this dream will give me the healing, growth and circumstances I need most right now.

PART THREE:

Last week’s focus was: Be more intentional and present.

At the New Moon call last week, I got more information on this - the message was GO DEEP into inner creativity. Like inner work, but with more play and creativity and less focus. Inner work is like “let’s clear the thing that’s in the way of me doing what I want to do” and inner play is like “let’s dive in and explore”

What happened in the last week? 

This was a rough week on the divorce front. I’ve cut all ties with my ex, we’ll have to talk in 6 months to file divorce papers, and we can see where we’re at then. But the friendship we’d been developing and the ways we were trying to still be a family for the kids are suddenly gone and this is absolutely the right thing for me, and so hard. (The kids are still in my life, just separately from their dad)

So that message from the new moon call to GO DEEPER was so good. I set up an art picnic on the floor of my creative studio. I start my days there, and go back regularly throughout the day.

This is so connected to the work I’ve been doing with the resistance project… gently working through the places where I am…. Well, frozen and distracted is the best way to describe it. My screen time is way down and my step count is way up. I always feel best when I get a lot of gentle exercise.

So - things were hard this week but also things were so good. I do feel like I am in a healing cocoon and I appreciate this time in so many ways.

What am I learning/How do I feel about this?

EVERYTHING FEELS BETTER WHEN I HAVE A DREAM.

Which is not about always trying to achieve and accomplish, it’s more about listening deeply enough to myself to hear what my heart is calling for, and then honouring that.

And it’s a part of my own nature, when I don’t see a thing that I am moving towards I can feel lost. AND as the world changes, it feels more and more urgent to me to be soul-led and not just move along with the flow of our imperialist colonialist capitalist culture.

What do I need now?

Just more space. It was a hard week, there is lots to process. AND it was a beautiful week and all the good stuff is helping me through the hard stuff and I just need space to process it all.

What does my dream need now?

The lantern just kind of shakes - it’s like “No I don’t need anything right now, I am here for you. I am guiding you through a lot of stuff - much more than you can see or understand right now”

Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:

Give myself space to feel and process and heal and trust in the magic of my dreams and the beauty of my future.

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.

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It IS harder now.

By / / , , , ,

This keeps coming up with the people I work with - how HARD things are right now.

How it IS harder to stay in the kind of positive mindset you need to make things happen.

How it IS harder to rally and keep going on the long path to a dream.

How it IS harder to pay bills with the costs soaring! And how that stress impacts everything.

How it’s natural to have resistance to our dreams, how we will ALWAYS have inner work to do, and how breaking through the fog and getting into creative slow is harder now.

And how just “trying harder” or whatever - isn’t cutting it.

So I planned a series of calls to help us find our way through:

Today’s call is about Exploring Resistance + Creative Flow. (If you can't make it live, the replay will be on that page a few hours after we're done)

I’ve been working on this pretty intensely this year, and have lots of ideas to share, but when we meditate and journal together on any topic - magic happens! So I am excited to see what we discover together.

March 12 we’re doing Taking The Inner Work Deeper.

This is because most times the way to make a dream happen FASTER or BIGGER is to go DEEPER with the inner work of if.

And we all resist the things we want to resist, and then try to validate our resistance, which makes this complicated. So we’ll work on it together.

April 9 We’re doing Letting Your Dream Come To You Instead Of Chasing After It.

This one was a request from a Dream Book member (you can always let me know what kinds of topics you want to explore on these calls!) and I think is also a really important piece of how to stay positive and dreaming in these hard times.

Because sometimes when things are hard, WE get hard. We try to be more dedicated or hardworking and forget to lean into our inner magnetism and ability to draw things to us.

Not that we can just sit around and wait for the dream to manifest, there IS work for us to do since WE are the dream’s guardian on this plane, so we need to do all sorts of physical stuff to make space for it. But there is a balance we need there, to not go into CHASING and HARD WORKING our way into a dream.

And the more we are doing the Dream Work practices like this, the easier the inner work and outer work are!

Then on May 15 we’re doing Creating Self Care Protocols to Support Yourself in Being The Version of You Who Can Do Your Dream.

This is the one I am most looking forward to. Next-level self care.

All the practical physical stuff AND all the magical stuff and DELIGHTING in giving ourselves everything we need to be our absolute “best” selves - best being however you want to define it. Happy, creating, trusting your self, trusting your dreams, building your future.

These calls will all start with alchemy meditations and journaling prompts for exploring the topic and then rich discussions, sharing of ideas, and working through all the stuff that comes up.

I know times are hard!

And I know we are stronger together.

So I hope you join us for these.

(If you're not a member of Dream Book, find out more + join here)

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

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With BIG FEELINGS flying around, how do I want to show up for my life, my self, and my dreams today?

By / / , , , ,

I read enough books about divorce to know that the first year after separation is hard.

A lot of different waves of feelings can hit. You can feel one thing one day, and then it’s opposite the next day. The best advice I got was to remember that none of these feelings are your new forever state, and none of your thoughts will be your forever beliefs about anything. Let them flow.

Today’s wave feels more like a bomb of sadness, anger and regret.

(I want to add - I write these posts in advance, so this isn’t about Valentine’s Day but I was delighted when I was organizing my writing into posts for this week and this is where this one fell)

And a part of me wants to process all of this as quickly and effectively as possible so I can go back to living my life, and working on my creative dreams.

But this is my life.

And creative dreaming doesn’t happen in a vacuum, it happens in our lives. Which are messy sometimes.

So. With BIG FEELINGS flying around, how do I want to show up for my life, my self, and my dreams today?

That’s the question I start with.

We don’t choose the feelings we have, we do choose how we react to them.

And I believe the best way to react to them is to VALIDATE them. We don’t have to like or enjoy the sensations a feeling provides to validate it.

Our feelings are valid responses to what is happening, and all the ways that all the things that have happened to us have impacted us.

And by validating all of that, it’s like we give the feeling space to breathe. Which is brutal in the moment but then it’s pure magic. Because there is something FOR YOU in those feelings, and you only get to receive it when you feel it.

On last week’s new moon call this came up a few times: how BIG our emotional reactions can be and how those BIG FEELINGS get in the way of being able to do the things we want (and need!) to do.

There are so many ways to work with this. We identified a few different paths, and then experimented with “how would it feel to ____” to try to find the right one.

There is no “one right path”

The world is a mess! Our lives are (sometimes?) (often?) a mess!

Figuring out how to fit our dreams into the mix of the messes we are facing is complicated - precisely because of what I was talking about in my dream status report from last week - because I need to be more PRESENT and INTENTIONAL and this is more difficult to do from within a hurricane of mess.

AND

We don’t just give up, right?

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

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OMG Resistance

By / / , , , ,

The Exploring Resistance + Creative Flow call is happening this Thursday! Dream Book members, get the call details here.

I started the resistance project in January.

A year of exploring, healing and making art with my resistance.

I dove in excitedly in January. I learned/remembered a whole bunch of things that work for me. I removed all games from my phone, I cut my screen time way down, I increased my daily step count, I firmed up my routines and structure/organizing.

And now, I still have all of these things in place that help nurture creative flow so I feel less resistance… and I have more creative flow... and yet sometimes I am still just RIGHT IN IT.

IDON’TWANNA

This came up on our New Moon call last week - how a lot of us feel like we’re overwhelmed and it’s just REALLY HARD to do the things we want to do.

I think it’s good to remember that there are external forces acting that ARE making it harder. The state of the world DOES impact our mental state.

Creative Dreaming is LIVING AS A VISIONARY and this is actually a big deal. It’s exhausting even in the best of times and these are not the best of times.

So it’s understandable that I have these days some days.

AND I really want to explore my resistance consistently this year so…

This morning my resistance shows up as:

Resistance to going for my morning walk to a coffee shop. My plan was to go to the “45 minute walk” coffee shop. But it is cold and windy, and after 2 weeks of un-heard of warm weather it means switching back into winter gear and maybe that’s too much today… so I bargained with myself… what about the 30 minute walk place? Or the 20 minute walk place, I mean we don’t like that place very much but 20 minutes feels so doable, right? Or… I mean there is a 1 minute walk coffee shop too... Can we do that?

Nope. The thought of getting dressed and going into the world was a big NO this morning. (Being self employed and the freedom it brings is one of my biggest dreams, and I recognize how lucky I am to be able to make this choice.)

But, even comfy at home in my PJs with my coffee and my cat Bear snuggled up in his bean bag chair beside my desk I have a lot of mental resistance today.

I feel HEAVY.

I also feel resistance to the resistance. Like WTF ANDREA? Just do the things that you DO want to do!

I look out the window. Maybe I will go out? Exercise and fresh air may be all I need?

On the other hand, maybe I need a break? A day off?

There is nothing urgent I need to do today BUT there is something I really do want to do. And that’s another thing we talked about on the New Moon call… how we can rally and get the stuff done that needs to happen. How none of us would just not show up for our clients. But then we end up not showing up for ourselves as well - that we don’t get to those projects that don’t have any external deadlines.

So I feel 50/50 - yes a day off would be nice AND totally justifiable. And yes a whole day to work on that project that I really do want to do feels really good.

My pre-pandemic self felt this way so rarely, that when I did feel this way I tended to take it as a sign that I needed a break, and take it.

But since 2020 I feel this way much more often, and I actually don’t want to take that many breaks. I want to move my projects forward.

OK! Good information!

I have resistance AND resistance to the resistance AND this inner knowing about what I actually DO want to do.

So what’s in my way?

(This is where I pop onto Facebook to see if there is anything interesting happening there)

No! Come back! We are journaling our way THROUGH this! Keep going!

What’s in my way?

I think about doing what I want to do, and I get a “brain swirl”.

What’s the brain swirl?

I sit with that a few minutes. It’s this tiny little part of me who is riding some kind of spacecraft that swirls around in my head, trying to create an energy stream that directs my thinking away from this project.

Wow, interesting! Why?

She wants to go get ice cream.

OK well that is SUPER interesting, because there is an ice cream shop near one of the places we could go to work this morning. But do you think this is literal - like part of you want to get ice cream? Or do you think it’s more like she wants to go play and not think about work?

I think she is BRAIN SWIRLING us right now and we can’t stay focused on what we are trying to process.

Right, yeah.

OK I think it’s obvious that if I stay home I’m just going to swirl around in my thoughts and not do this thing. AND I am resisting the plan I had made. So we need to come up with a new plan!

Oh I just realized what the problem is.

That project I want to work on today. It’s “starting something new” and “working on a thing that really matters to me” and both of those things bring up ALL THE THINGS.

The vulnerability of trying something new.

The fear that it won’t work out.

The doubt that I can really pull it off in the way I want to.

The “why bother? No one cares”

The worry that it will be too hard.

The worry that no one will understand what I am trying to do.

THE THINGS that come up for everyone with their dreams at some point. For me it happens mostly at the start, and then again right before it’s done.

Having named “the resistance” for what it is, and having worked through all of these fears/doubts so many times over the years (there is a whole library of inner work practices for this in Dream Book!) I just need to find the gentlest way to begin.

NAMING it really shifts it.

Instead of “some weird brain swirl that won’t let me focus” I know “this is hard and scary because it’s so vulnerable to start a new thing”.

And I know what helps with this:

Un-Sticking Station or other practices from the Library of Inner Work

Dream Self process to connect with the part of me who knows how to do this

Dream Lab process to connect with my enthusiasm for doing this

And now I feel ready to get started.

Making space to process all of our thoughts and feelings will naturally bring you to your truth. Your truth will include HOW MUCH you want to do the things you want to do - even when they are scary.

SO excited to explore this on the Exploring Resistance + Creative Flow call on Thursday! If you're not in Dream Book, now is a great time to join!

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

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I am moving in the right direction

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I am moving in the right direction

This is the mantra I got in this week’s journaling + alchemy kit: I am moving in the right direction.

DIRECTION is SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT than speed! And yet we all get discouraged at how long things can take.

I started weightlifting (again) in December. Between the holiday season in December and then January hitting kind of hard - I took about a month off and started back at it late in January.

But this week I’ve been noticing my shoulders, arms and legs are starting to look different.

And it’s like “what?! I’ve barely done anything!” I am only even aiming to go twice a week, which means some weeks I only go once. I’m not trying to do body building, I’m just trying to counteract the loss of muscle that happens at this age, because getting those muscles back helps my energy and mental health so much.

So I am taking tiny steps but I AM MOVING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

And as long as I keep taking tiny steps - they do add up and move me towards where I want to be.

AND

Nothing is guaranteed, in terms of outer outcomes, of course!

But - how does it feel to say to yourself “I am moving in the right direction”?

And there some places where this is uncomfortable?

What are those places telling you?

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

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The Pegasus Bell will help me be more Present + Intentional [Weekly Dream Status Report]

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Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.

On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!

My Dream Status Report for this week:

PART ONE: 

My dream is: This one doesn't want to be shared, but I do have a very specific thing I am working on now.

I want it because: It feels like the truest way forward.

When I have it I will feel: I have never felt anything excitement about birthdays - especially the “big ones”. I’ve always looked forward to entering new decades but I am going to turn 50 this spring and I am having a lot of uncomfortable feelings about it. This dream feels connected, like - I am sorting out who and how I want to be in this new phase of life.

PART TWO: 

Invite the soul of your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.

The goal is never to do these kinds of practices “perfectly” but to just be where you are with them. I am in a coffee shop and even with noise-canceling headphones that do work on most noises - there are two very small children beside me who can break through the headphones, lol. But in my meditation I was hearing them as bells ringing, and then I remembered this bell I have which is a Pegasus and then was like “that’s it! My dream is here as a Pegasus!” Which feels wrong and also right.

It doesn’t matter HOW your dreams show up in this practice, it’s just helpful to work with whatever happens when you do it. Nothing is an accident.

So, my dream shows up as a Pegasus bell. Oh, no as I look closer it’s not a bell, it’s just a Pegasus but it makes a sound like a bell.

I ask it to help me with the rest of the prompts and it flies around in a circle.

PART THREE:

Last week’s focus was: Stick with the plan. Don't make it smaller.

What happened in the last week? 

I did stick with the plan! I feel really good about how I am implementing my ideas right now.

I launched the New Moon Intention Setting Ritual Kit! Getting the artwork done and then getting the whole thing ready for sale was more work than I had anticipated - but I started on track. And that took up most of my attention.

My resistance project is calling and I am ignoring the calls, lol. Resistance to my resistance project. I am promising it I will have more time for it next week.

And we did the New Moon Call this week and that brought me this new idea, which ties in some stuff I have been exploring in the resistance project, and inspiration for new creative projects I want to start… so now I have a new project to work on.

What am I learning/How do I feel about this?

I am feeling like WHY IS LIFE HAPPENING SO FAST???!?!

I usually love the slow vibes of winter, but I am not feeling slow at all. Maybe it’s the climate change (I rode my bike to the coffee shop this morning, because it’s raining and I didn’t want a long walk in the rain - normal temps for a February morning here are more like -20-30.

And during the new moon call I realised that I’ve been staying up later and later, and sleeping in later and later, and missing that “magical feeling time” of waking up way before the sunrise in the winter.  (Sunrise is VERY early in WInnipeg in the summer, I never see it) So I could go back to earlier bed time to get that magic + slow feeling in the early mornings.

What do I need now?

To feel like life is slowing down, like I have time for all the things I want to do.

Oh! But another thing I realised during the new moon call is that it’s not about the hours in the day it’s about how present I can be. I want to do all this deeper work and I am just not in a deeper space as much as I want to be. Which means - I need more meditation + stillness + to work through the resistance that is keeping me from being where I want to be.

What does my dream need now?

Oh well now the Pegasus feels like the perfect way for my dream to show up. I used to use that Pegasus bell to help me set intentions. Like - letting the sound clear around doubt and anything that would make it hard for me to do what I want to do. And also as a sound to declare “this is what I am doing now” or “this is who I want to be today”… I used that bell in so many ways.

My dream needs me to get back to that.

Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:

Use the Pegasus bell to help me be more intentional + present. (This may sound vague but I know exactly what this means and I will report back!)

And I want to add: it’s like I’m not intentional or present! It’s that I need to be DEEPER with both. It’s one of the things my dream is often asking for - for me to KEEP GOING deeper, there is no limit there.

Come dream with us
Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.

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Focusing on ONE dream and ONE thing at a time

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Of course, there are no rules! YOU always know what is best for you.

BUT/AND it really is easier to make a big change happen when you can focus on one thing.

This is not always possible! I know!

But if you are really struggling making something happen, it is good to look at how you could re-structure your priorities to give this thing more time, energy and FOCUS.

For myself, focus has been really hard to find since 2020.

And I’ve noticed that my Dream Book has become less and less focused. I’m dreaming of everything, lol!

Over the years my dream had become this vague thing… the brightest future I see for myself.

Which is lovely, but you need to be able to focus on something in order to grab onto it.

So, this year I am focusing.

I am dialled in on ONE dream.

And, since this is a larger dream that has multiple steps/projects - I am also PRIORITIZING things, getting one thing done before starting the next.

I know that seems like an obvious way to get things done, but since 2020 I have struggled with that.

I haven’t wanted to put any ideas aside to focus on just one, and the result is that none of the ideas get the support they need.

And I’m kind of just swimming around in ideas, becoming increasingly overwhelmed trying to juggle it all at once.

So I took the time to put the ideas into ORDER and am working through them - one by one.

I’ve only been doing this for about a month but already I feel completely differently about everything.

AND I want to note - the process of putting them in “order” and prioritizing certain things over other things WAS BRUTAL. It brought up a lot of fears and doubts and I un-stuck the sticks as I went and now it feels really good to have my ideas IN ORDER so I can give each one the time and energy they need to turn into something.

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

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I got out of my way!

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For the last few years (??!?!) the soul of my business has been sending me this one message consistently.

And I thought I understood it. And I thought I was acting on it.

And I WAS acting on it - in the best way I could.

But my actions were not really getting the results I wanted. Things were not clicking into place like the soul of my business insisted they would.

Which is so frustrating. But I kept trying.

One of the principles of Creative Dream Alchemy is “It takes the time it takes” and we all get frustrated with this, we can all feel like things aren’t happening as fast as we want them to…

But often, when we do finally have the breakthrough we needed, we realise that WE were the ones in the way, the whole time.

But THEN we realize that even though it was on US to change - that we couldn't make the change until we could make the change.

That showing up and trying and not having it go well, over and over and over, is what brought us to this place where it all comes together.

So that’s where I am today.

But it does’t feel shaming, like I should have done better two years ago.

It feels like an amazing journey, like who cares how long it took I FIGURED IT OUT.

If you can't control the universe and don't know how long it will take for things to work out for you, but you CAN control whether or not you keep showing up - how can you find ways to do the work that are generative and interesting so it's easier to not give up?

Dream Book members: I have this 10 minute video on how to make it easier to stay on a looooong path to a dream.

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

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New Moon Call Tomorrow! And the New Moon Intention Setting Ritual Kit is here!

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I don't have a regular post for you today - I've been completely focused on finishing the New Moon Intention Setting Ritual Kit.

I started out wanting to make some printables of prompts we use on the New Moon Calls.

And then I decided to make it a whole thing to use on it's own, for people who are not in Dream Book - a journal that leads you through a simplified version of the mediations we use on the live calls every month.

I love this so much!

We've been doing the New Moon calls for years, and I've been refining the meditations over time and it's become such a beloved practiced, I am thrilled to be able to share it in this way!

Read all about it here.

Dream Book members: you can download it here.

Come dream with us

 

Dream Book members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

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