The head of the snake on the motorcycle jacket I've been embroidering... more below 

I was stuck with a creative project and starting to feel all the feelings of not doing the thing I really want to be doing: creative blocks, what if I never created again? fear of failure, feeling not good enough, overwhelm, "maybe I should just take a break from all of this", etc.

With the stress of everything in the world, it feels easier for me to fall into a hole with this stuff.

So I did a coaching session with myself.

And I decided to share it with you because I think it's helpful to remember that we can't just WAIT until we know exactly how to do a thing, before we get started.

It's easy for it to FEEL LIKE there is no way in, but we have to get in there and explore and figure out how to CREATE the way in. Otherwise, we will never begin. And we deserve to be fully immersed in the magic of our creative flow!

So, what brings you to see me today?

I want to be making art. I am not making art. I have time. I have supplies. I have space. I have ideas. I am not doing anything with any of it.

That sounds very frustrating!

Oh my gosh yes it is! So much!

So what happens when you’re not making art? What are you doing instead?

I’m not even sure. Oh! Whoa! I don’t really have a plan… or more like I don’t have a schedule. So I just… do my day and then the day is done and I haven’t done the art.

So is that all you need? A schedule that fits at in with your life?

What I really want is to have pieces I can pick up and work on any time. And I want to GO TO ART more often. Oh! I mean, yes I AM DOING THIS already, I’ve been embroidering a snake all over a motorcycle jacket I am sewing. Since the drawing/planning is all done, I can just pick it up and embroider for a few minutes and I do that A LOT. I am almost finished everything I can do without sewing the jacket together. I am so proud of this and can’t wait to finish.

So, the snake jacket is your art? You have been doing it? You're not stuck?

Well, yes and no. I was thinking it was a good project to get my hands back into the feel of embroidery. And a great project as a “having a thing on the go that is easy to pick up and work on” which is a MUST because of my health problems and brain fog right now. But this is a jacket for me, it’s not a part of this body of work I want to create, though it is connected in a way.

This jacket is also a symbol of all the skins I am shedding and the ways I am changing in mid-life. And embodying more of my artist self, and creating this new body of work, is a part of that.

An earlier photo of the snake jacket embroidery in process

That’s amazing! BUT it sounds like just working on the jacket isn’t enough to make you feel satisfied with how you are engaging with your creativity.

BINGO. I want to take everything that is going well with the jacket, and apply it to this new body of work. Which is so hard to do because I don’t know what this new art IS. I am doing experiments.... But I guess I can plan out a big project and then do it like I did with the jacket?

Is that really such a big problem? If you have experiments to do, can you not just focus on doing them for now?

I guess it’s just so much starting and stopping. I would love a BIG project to sink my teeth into. There’s also another aspect to this: having work I can pick up and do with my hands is so important for my mental health. It has to be at the stage where I am not thinking about what to do, just doing repetitive hand sewing. And the motorcycle jacket is almost finished so I'd like other projects at that stage to be ready to go when it's done.

So you need a lot of smaller projects to make sure you don’t run out of projects that are at that stage?

Yes, I guess that’s it.

Can you start a bunch of smaller projects?

Well, this is where my brain just shuts down.

OK let’s explore then. Can you tell me about these projects?

Kind of, but I am so vague. Like I don’t know that much about them… not enough to actually MAKE THEM REAL. I just have this vague idea of the big picture of where I’d like to be doing, the details are not there.

Well that is a part of the creative process. We don't start out already knowing the whole way there. Can you tell me about the experiments you are doing?

I am trying different ways of painting, printing, appliqué and embroidery. I am guess I am trying to figure out the practicalities of how I want to do this. I feel like there is this whole visual language I want to create for this work. This is all besides the specific designs for projects I want to come up with.

Can you make that a project? Creating this new visual language?

My brain feels so twisty. I can’t really hold onto anything about that. I don’t know what that would look like I guess.

Is there another way in you can think of?

Making a list of all of the ideas I have?  Maybe a sketchbook? I just have all of these vague ideas floating around in my mind, it's very hard to pull something out.

Can we try that right now?

I wrote out nine different project ideas in a notebook.

But that makes me feel just as stuck! Like, I think I need to get some felt, I’m not sure the cotton I have is the right thing. Can I even start?

Usually if I can't even START, I am thinking too big. I think I need to start small, I don’t know what small is in this case.

OK. So far here’s what we know:

You could use a schedule, like scheduling time specifically to get some projects started

You could use a sketchbook to get your ideas out of your head and be more clear about what you want to make.

You may need to get some felt, if the supplies you have don’t feel right.

I’m starting to feel excited about one of the ideas I put in the sketchbook.

And the "I don't have felt and maybe I need felt" doesn't seem like such an issue - I can just go to Micheals and get a bunch of felt if I do need it.

 

After that, I just.... made art

I didn't go buy felt and I didn't start a specific project like I thought I needed to. I went back to the original idea of creating a visual language. I printed and painted a bunch of fabric that I can use for any of my project ideas.

IT FELT AMAZING.

I felt like WHOA I AM DOING IT!!!! Every time my hands touched the fabric I felt THRILLED.

The magic of making art after being creatively blocked for a while.

And while I was printing and painting that fabric...

I noticed how I need so much more structure in my business AND in my art.

BUT not the kinds of structure I have ever had before. And that's why this has been so tricky to figure out.

I have been doing Structure, Habits, Routines. I am still sitting with the questions and feeling into... what do I want the structures, habits and routines of life to FEEL LIKE and what kinds of structures, habits and routines will help me accomplish what I want to accomplish without overwhelm or stretching my capacity?

And I'm becoming more clear about WHY the way I have been planning this year isn't quite working for me.

And starting to get ideas for what to change!

I'm moving SO SLOW with this but also, I am radically changing how I see and work with time, dreams and goals.

This is BIG work. This is important stuff to do at mid-life. I am detaching from old ways of being and doing. I am listening more deeply to what feels true to me now.

I am so deep in the Dream Work and Inner Work, soul and healing. I am not in a  place where the Outer Work looks clear and put together AND I SHOULDN'T!!! Because I want to put the Outer Work together in a way that reflects the deep work I am doing in Dream Work and Inner work and... I am not done yet.

So, I could stop judging myself for how slow I am moving and instead appreciate how much more deeply ALIGNED WITH MY MEDICINE AND MAGIC my structures, routines and habits will be when I do get this all sorted out.

But re-reading all of this I have to call myself out on something. I wasn't being honest.

The "embroidering a snake on a motorcycle jacket" project has been REALLY smooth sailing this winter but it wasn't easy to start that one either! It looks YEARS to figure out what I was doing with it. I think I bought the fabric and sewing pattern in 2023.

Big projects, with lots of different elements, take time to figure out!

You DO NOT start out already knowing all of the details.

It's a PROCESS.

When you remember that it's a PROCESS then the only goal really is to STAY IN THE PROCESS.

Which, for me, takes so much pressure away from "figuring it all out".

"Trust the process" is more about trusting yourself to STAY in the process long enough to get what you want from it.

Co-Dreaming/Co-Working call is today! I hope to see you there!

We'll start with a short meditation for connecting with the soul of your dream (like the Dream Lab) and then have time for whatever you want to do - planning next week, working on your projects, sharing your updates, talking about something that is stuck with your dreams or just hanging out in the magic of the group.

Call details are here. Replay will be there a few hours after we're done today.

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Do the Hello Day Energy Clearing + Intention Setting Practice (from Dream Book 2026)

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!

PLANNING is a place where a lot of inner stuff can get triggered.

Most dreams need plans. Most plans need to be revised over time. There is a lot of planning and re-planning involved in creative dreaming.

Because our dream is our soul calling us towards our true self, this is all going to be "next level stuff" so we don't start out already knowing HOW.

We're not SUPPOSED TO KNOW HOW!

AND it's just so unsettling to not know how.

So, the planning can be tricky.

Every new moon we do the New Moon Intention Setting Ritual to make space for your soul to show you your path for the next month. We make space to reflect on how that went last month, learn from our process, and apply our learning to how we approach the next month. This can help you make considerable progress over time.

Because my dreams include my business, the Creative Dream Incubator, I also plan out every month more from the Outer Work perspective.

AND I let the New Moon Intention Setting and the Monthly Planning impact each other, they are not separate, just two different ways of supporting myself in doing the things I want to do.

So, this week I am going over April's plan, finishing up what I can, and making May's plan.

As I do this I notice...

A part of me is judging me for not having an ambitious enough plan for April and then also not doing everything on my un-ambitious plan.

* I'm going to put aside my feelings about AMBITION and all the ways it's tied to the dreams that capitalism tries to sell us and how the older I get, the less ambitious I am, and I am very happy about this.

This shame feels heavy and thick in my chest. Clinging to my chest but also dripping down into my belly.

Hey shame, since you’ve shown up in this way I assume you want to talk?

No I don’t want to talk, I want to just be here, shaming you in the background.

Why in the background?

So that I can keep doing this for a long time. I work best in the background.

Is it because, with attention and awareness, you shape shift?

Yes.

And you don’t want to shape shift right now?

No.

Why not?

I want to make you feel bad for what you did.

Why?

So that you never do it again.

Can you be more specific about what you want me to never do again?

Be too unambitious in your goal setting and then fail to meet those too-small goals.

And why are you so upset that I did this?

Because you are holding yourself back, things could be going better for you if you got your shit together.

Having my shit together means setting ambitious goals and then meeting them every time?

Yes.

Do you see the health struggles I’ve had this last month, and even going back to this whole year?

Ummmmrhgh. Ummmm. That makes me feel uncomfortable.

How come?

I don’t want to know about that.

Fair enough, but my health has a HUGE impact on my productivity, you understand that right?

I do! That’s why I don’t want to know. It’s so stressful.

OH. Yeah. I hear that. It’s very stressful.

Good, we agree about something.

We do! But I think you may not understand that… the health issues are here. This is reality. And I am doing what I am within reality. And you, when you want to shame me for these things, are making it so much harder. Like - I just can’t operate the way I do when I DON’T have health issues, when I DO have them. Do you see that?

Oh! I wasn’t seeing that. I think I see it now. Do you mean you wish you were more ambitious and productive?

I think ambitious is something we need to table for now. I do wish I was more productive, I love all of my ideas and want to be acting on them faster but I really honestly absolutely can’t. I am actually trying to look at ways to change my routines and systems and structure and figure out how to do the things I want to do, but I need SUPPORT. Not shaming! Shaming makes everything worse! Don’t you see that?????

Shaming is the only tool I have.

That can’t be true.

Can’t it?

Shame is not a tool. And if you want to talk about being productive then you need to look at what happens when you shame me. It’s not ONCE made me more productive.

No, I guess it usually makes you sad and you move even slower.

Right.

My health is so upsetting to me. And I get so much judgement from the outside world about not being able to keep up. I don’t need it from inside me too!!!!!

Wow, you’re right.

Shame, you really don’t do anything except slow me down and make me feel worse. If you want to help me be more productive then let’s look for SUPPORTIVE and KIND and HELPFUL ways to do that.

I want to do that. I don’t know how. But I want to learn.

That's the kind of work we do in the Un-Sticking Station.

It's natural to have all sorts of uncomfortable emotional reactions to planning and figuring out how to take steps towards our dreams.

Unfortunately, if you don't have a plan for how to face those feelings - you end up putting your dreams aside because that seems like the only way to feel better.

So, membership members - keep the Un-Sticking Station in mind!

And remember that taking the time to sit with these feelings when they come up is actually a SHORTCUT.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Do the Hello Day Energy Clearing + Intention Setting Practice (from Dream Book 2026)

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!

This image is from the guided journal in the Dream Lab but it captures the feeling of my miracle meditation today.

Showing up consistently to practice creative dreaming is HARD sometimes.

It just is. I am feeling that this morning.

I am doing Project Miracle. I want to do all 30 days of it, no matter how many days it takes me, you know?

It took a LOT of convincing to get me to show up this morning.

I'd love to share that by the time I got into it, the meditation was great and I got a new idea for what to do next and I feel fantastic...

But the meditation was a MESS.

I couldn't get into it.

Each time I could finally BEGIN to do the thing I was supposed to do, my voice came back with the next instruction and I couldn't jump ahead. It felt so chaotic and rushed.

The same meditation that felt peaceful and encouraging last week!

The further I went in the meditation the more aggravated I became.

I was ESPECIALLY aggravated when I got to the part about not judging your process and it's ok if it doesn't feel good.

I got to the end of the meditation feeling disconnected from my miracle and annoyed with myself.

I wrote about my experience in my journal.

I wrote out all the things that annoyed me....

✨✨ ✨

Then I saw how they are connected.

I saw the message.

I saw how last week my Miracle has been saying... slow down with the Outer Work, go deeper into Dream Work. Be more deeply rooted.

I saw how... I didn't take any of that advice in the last 3 days. I was fully intending to focus on that this week, but so far I've just had a lot going on so I kept going full speed ahead.

My miracle is saying SLOW THE FUCK DOWN. Don't wait for an opportunity to slow down - DO THIS. NOW.

And then I felt so grateful for aggravating and chaotic meditation.

Because I see so clearly now where I am choosing things that move me away from what I really want.

I see how it didn't FEEL like a choice to keep moving full speed ahead... but it WAS A choice.

As chaotic as the meditation was for me this morning, it did give me enough space to see that from a different perspective. I saw all these ways I could have done my weekend differently to make more space for what I needed.

Which makes me feel hopeful about this week.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Do the Hello Day Energy Clearing + Intention Setting Practice (from Dream Book 2026)

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!

Yesterday I was SO STUCK trying to start Project Miracle.

Today I started it and was AMAZING. I spent almost an hour journaling about my miracle this morning.

I felt peaceful, grounded, clear, and completely ready to CALL THIS THING IN.

Also there is this deep whole body knowing that…. I can do this and NOT get overwhelmed in the process. Which is not something I’ve experienced in a while! Already a little miracle!

I just want to remind you… some days you’re stuck and some days you’re not. Momentum and progress come when you show up regardless.

Yesterday when I thought about really committing to this thing I want… all hell broke loose inside me.  Suddenly all the reasons why NOW is not the time felt so BIG.

That’s really common and not at all a sign that now is not the time. 

Remember that pursuing your dreams is really about pursuing your most authentic self. It’s about trusting your soul. It’s about healing from the ways this world taught you to doubt yourself and conform to values that are an insult to the preciousness of life.

It’s a big deal.

So sometimes Creative Dreaming is terrifyingly vulnerable.

It just is. 

Some tools for the hard parts:

If you’re doing Project Miracle with me: there are 2 different mini classes for when you’re stuck

If you’re doing Dream Book, there’s this video for when you’re struggling to get into it

There's the video for when you're in resistance

This meditation for when you are too upset for any of this

The classic Un-Sticking Station 

And this video for when you're avoiding the Un-Sticking Station

Alchemy process for overwhelm 

Alchemy process for making your trust in your dream bigger than your fear

And the Creative Dream Alchemy Library of Inner Work Practices if none of those seem quite right.

But if you can't choose - start with this.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Do the Hello Day Energy Clearing + Intention Setting Practice (from Dream Book 2026)

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!

I am feeling stuck with some stuff so I am bringing out the big guns - I am getting ready to do PROJECT MIRACLE, which is a 30 day meditation + journaling program for calling the shift you need NOW.

(Yes, even now. It works when you are utterly overwhelmed and navigating a quickly changing world. If you can give this 20 minute a day for the next 30 days - you can call in the shift you need.)

Project Miracle is available inside the Creative Dream Incubator Membership but if you're not a member: RIGHT NOW YOU CAN GET PROJECT MIRACLE ON IT'S OWN AND IT'S 50% OFF!*

(Get it here and use the code MIRACLETIME for the discount)

 

 

So I am TRYING to start Project Miracle and not quite getting there.

I know Project Miracle WORKS.

That's why I feel so vulnerable and weird about it which is why I am having so much trouble starting.

Am I really ready for this?

Like, REALLY?

A miracle is a shift in perspective.

A shift in perspective that helps you see yourself and your life in a new way, that changes how you feel, that changes what seems possible for you… which changes how you ACT. Which can change ANYTHING.

Am I ready to see myself differently? Am I ready for next-level awareness of where I have been (unnecessarily?!) holding myself back?

Am I really really to BE my "next level" self?

I know from experience this means letting go of whichever excuses and hiding places are worn out and not a fit for my next-level self. I know how vulnerably and scary that work can be.

And I that I can get a lot of comfort out of hiding out in my comfort zone! And that don't we all need all the comfort right now?

And I don't tend to just... come to a place where I magically feel ready to change. There is usually a tug-of-war between my resistance and my wisest self.

I am just a few weeks away from my 52nd birthday.

I would like, at this age, to be MATURE enough to not have these tug-o-wars.

I can hear one of my good friends, who has 20 years on me, laughing about that. I know she's still got her share of tug-o-wars going on.

Because DANCING WITH OUR RESISTANCE is actually a part of the creative process.

And you know what? Project Miracle includes TWO MINI CLASSES specifically about getting stuck like this.

There's one for if you sign up and then have trouble getting started.

There's one for it you start the program, and then get stuck somewhere.

So why am I not going to that video about having a hard time getting started?

I'm sitting with that question. And that's enough for today.

There is SO MUICH MAGIC that comes from sitting with our resistance instead of avoiding it.

So I am leaning into that magic and not pressuring myself to do anything in particular with it today. Just kind of... letting it settle.

I'll be back tomorrow and see where it's at then.

If you're in the membership and want to try Project Miracle with me - start here.

If you're not a member: RIGHT NOW YOU CAN GET PROJECT MIRACLE ON IT'S OWN FOR 50% OFF!* Get it here and use the code MIRACLETIME for the discount.

* The regular price for the 30 day Project Miracle program is $33 so it’s now on sale for $16.50. There are two other options -  you can get 90 days access to Project Miracle for $99 or 90 days access with a private session with me for $250. Those options are not 50% off, but you can apply the $16.50 discount to them during this sale.

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Do the Hello Day Energy Clearing + Intention Setting Practice (from Dream Book 2026)

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!

Sunday I mentioned escape fantasies vs dreams which sparkled some interesting comments in the forum in the membership and I’ve been thinking a lot about…

What makes a dream seem so impossible that we call it a fantasy?

What helps us CLAIM our dreams, and say - yes this will be hard but I deserve it and in fact I am CAPABLE of creating this?

Of course, given the state of the world, it's easy to give up on our dreams right now.

But I know that listening to our dreams, which is a way of listening to our souls, our creativity and our values about how to live our lives, is actually the ONLY way we can create a better future.

There are lots of ways to define “dreams” and “escape fantasies”

My definition is that your dream is your soul showing you your path in life. It’s showing you who you really are and what you are really capable of.

Your dream is your own soul shouting THIS IS FOR YOU!!!! That's why dreams feel so special and have that pull to them. It's a SOUL CALLING.

An escape fantasy… that is usually an ACCURATE way of seeing something in your life that isn’t working for you.

Your desire to escape is completely legitimate!

I think an escape fantasy is usually tied in with a dream and maybe we are invalidating our dreams and say “Oh it’s just a fantasy” or maybe we are in a hard place and not feeling up for the incredible courage it takes to face the thing in your life that you want to change, and work on a realistic plan for making those changes.

I don’t think it ever matters if it’s “just” an escape fantasy.

If you want a thing, that’s valid.

If a thing keeps calling you…. that’s a calling.

It's easy for this to feel sooooo complicated and journaling it out can help!

Journaling prompts for when you feel like your dream is “just” an escape fantasy and not something to take seriously:

What are the feelings that brings up? Do these feelings need some tending to? (Members: use the Un-Sticking Station practice)

WHY does it feel like an escape fantasy and not a dream?  Which part of you is labeling it like this?

Get specific - is it truly for sure completely impossible? If some parts are possible and some parts are impossible, make a clear list of both.

IF it IS impossible: WHY do you want it? How would having it make you feel? What will change in your life if you had it?  Give these questions lots of space, and then look through your answers for clues for things you CAN bring into your life. Are there any dreams there?

If it is NOT actually impossible: congratulations! You have a creative DREAM. All dreams come with obstacles and hard parts, and you’re going to work through them as long as you don’t give up. Use Dream Book to sort through the Dream Work, Inner Work and Outer Work that this dream needs - work through it slowly and really get GROUNDED with it.

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Do the Hello Day Energy Clearing + Intention Setting Practice (from Dream Book 2026)

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!