Healing

Holding Space For “What’s Next” To Emerge

This replay will be available here until July 1. After July 2 it will only be available inside Dream Book.

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Where I’m At now: Holding Space for “What’s Next” to Emerge

I’m sitting in a coffee shop full of plants. I’m the only one here.

The coffee shop is off to the side of a bakery - which is full of people baking in a wood fired oven which keeps the whole place SO warm and then with the plants everywhere it’s like being in a conservatory, making this my favourite winter coffee + journaling spot.

In the summer I’m usually outside, but it’s rainy today so here I am. I’m sitting at a bar by the window, watching people on the busy street outside.

I had a disorienting night of weird dreams, waking up and also dreaming of waking up but still sleeping.

I feel disoriented in my life.

I lay in bed asking myself what I wanted and decided to come here and journal. Once I looked at my Year of Dreams I saw that I had a lot to journal about. I’d been filling my pages with questions and ideas about what’s next.

I feel un-moored without my routines. As a highly sensitive person, my routines are one of the things that keep me settled in my body enough to hear my intuition and act on my creativity.

The pandemic destroyed so many of my routines and then this last winter I discovered a new form of magic, having ALL of the space without routine or structure.

Anyway. Now I am here - having let go of so many routines that I don’t feel interested in picking back up AND ALSO remembering the magic of routines and how they fuel creative flow and progress AND ALSO feeling really interested in FINDING OUT what’s next for me vs PLANNING what’s next for me.

I’m 48.

A lot of my dreams this last year have been thinking about who and how I want to be in my 50s which doesn’t need to be different than my 40s of course - unless I want it to be.

Which I do.

I feel ready to stretch and grow but in the past that always meant that I had a clear picture of WHO and WHAT I was growing into.

And right now I feel OPEN about all of that. Which is SO thrilling and terrifying.

There are a lot of metaphors in the life coaching/new age/wellness communities about planting seeds and how a tomato can’t be a rose, what you plant is what you get.

What if I am actually a lot more magical than all of that?

What if my brain and it’s clear intentions were only in my way?

What if I don’t need to plan? What if I need to LISTEN?

Since 2015 when the Truth and Reconciliation Commission released its findings in Canada, I have been learning about colonization and white supremacy, which are systems I have lived in my whole life without seeing them for what they are.

Which led me to see the entire new age, life coaching and wellness communities in a different light.

Which led me to feel differently about my own work.

Which led me to re-work my work and create a space that can hold the bigger questions and invite in a more soul-truth aligned kind of growth. (Which is Dream Book)

Which is what brought me here, I think.

To a place where holding intentions feels so small. Like a way to try to control the mystery.

To a place where I’ve let it go.

To a place where I feel ready to LISTEN as my primary way of PLANNING.

Which is wild - in my late 20s my best friend nicknamed me “Planny McPlanster”.

I had this idea that the best growth grew you into who you WANTED to be. Brought you the life you WANTED.

And I still believe that we need to be better at trusting our desires for a lot of reasons.

But now I see how SMALL that is.

To only dream about the life I can visualize for myself.

I mean yes I always spoke about how your dream can be much better than what you’re thinking, about how the inner growth will nurture you in ways you can’t see now, about how it WILL be different and better than what you picture.

But now - I guess I see the next level of that.

Our dreams are a light on the path, for sure.

But that path is leading to something much more expansive than what we dream of.

AND ALSO we are right here in the heart of the mystery right now. We are so creative and powerful right now.

What if we are MORE creative and powerful when we're in the mystery of it all, and not trying to manifest, create, or control the outcome?

Which feels like a different way of holding our dreams.

AND ALSO a different relationship to the mystery.

I'm offering a free Zoom class on Holding Space For What's Next To Emerge.

It's happening on June 24th at 1:00 pm, Central (North America).

Details to come. Everyone on my email list will get an invite to the live class. The will be a replay available on my blog - for 1 week only. Then the replay will only be accessible to Dream Book members.

 

You will be lost. That’s kind of the point.

It's Sunday morning.

I'm sitting on my chaise lounge with my laptop, my cat Bear, and a latte. It rained last night, and I opened up both big windows upstairs and the most delightful breeze is flowing through the loft with that it-just-rained smell.

My husband is asleep upstairs. We are still living apart, but spending more and more time together, and planning to live together again within the next year.

The time apart was so needed. In March 2021, when he moved out, I was ready to lose my mind if I didn't get some of alone time.

And now, with the magic of HAVING SPACE, and also a great couple's therapist, I'm excited to live with him again.

Dreams are not static.

We don't create a dream come true in our lives, and then curl up in it and live there forever, never feeling sad or lost or unfulfilled ever again.

We're alive and our dreams are alive and we grow and change and they grow and change and it can get very complicated at times.

My loft condo was SUCH a big dream for me. I bought it in 2011 - my first year of self employment with the Creative Dream Incubator.

A big modern open space with HUGE sunny windows. This felt like THE perfect place for ALL of my dreams.

And it was. At that time. But I kept growing and changing and then I had a husband and 4 step-kids and the big loft stopped feeling big, lol!

But it's still more than a home, it's a DREAM.

There have been times when I was very frustrated that I couldn't sell it and move on to the next thing. But a shift in the real estate market for condominiums made that extremely complicated. There have been times when I was glad I kept it. There are times when I want to keep it AND get a new home with my husband. And there are times when I am ready to take the financial loss, sell it and move on to the next thing.

When I last wrote about my loft I got so much advice and almost... well it felt like I was being roasted.

My inbox was overwhelmed with people being upset about the choices I was making. Which is wild, since I 100% trust myself to make the right choices for me. I'm so good at this, I help other people do this for a living!

But, people project online. A lot. We only see bits and pieces of each other's lives, fill in the banks with our own projections, and then it's easy to get upset when someone we like does something we don't.

Anyway, I'm sitting here on this gorgeous morning and I still have no clue what to do with this dream house of mine.

My husband and I have lots of ideas for ways to renovate it to make it work better.

And there are other options too, of course.

We'll figure it out....

But I do this - creative dreaming - for a living. So shouldn't I KNOW?

I have ALL of the tools. Shouldn't I never get stuck trying to figure out my next moves? Shouldn't I never make a mistake or mis-step?

It's easy to go there.

And loads of people in the life coaching/Life Your Best Life Industry really are out there saying that with the right tools and support, your life can be perfect. Always. Forever.

And some of these people become such huge corporations with so much impact that it's easy to feel convinced that if your life is not consistently perfect it's because YOU are doing something wrong, and you need to buy a better solution.

That's really shitty. It's the collision of unethical marketing with life coaching/personal growth and there's a LOT of it out there. And it taps into a lot of unconscious beliefs we have from growing up in this capitalist/colonialist/individualist/supremacist culture.

But we don't have to go there. We can shine a light on what's actually happening there, and then we can choose a different path.

Creative Dreaming is about STAYING ENGAGED with your dreams, and your healing and growth.

It's not about imagining that you can control the universe.

Or that being alive doesn't come with a FUCK TON of uncertainty, vulnerability and pain.

It's not about trying to AVOID the realities of life on earth.

It's about STAYING ENGAGED with your dreams/healing/growth/creativity/joy/values/inner truth which is a much deeper magic than "living a perfect life" could ever offer.

So here I am FEELING that magic.

Knowing what I want in the larger sense but also having no clue about what the details or timing will look like and letting it be what it is AND ALSO accepting that I could be in this place for a while AND ALSO - underneath everything, trusting the process.

(And THAT - trusting the process - is a valuable skill to learn which comes from engaging in the practice of staying engaged)

We can feel this magic WHILE being in the process, without a solution or fairy-tale ending in sight, just a commitment to stay on the path.

I'm going to stay here. Lost. Uncertain. Feeling my way.

I am following my creative flow. Starting BIG new projects. Going all in with self care as replenishment from a difficult few years.

I am going to put the LIVE Creative Genius Planning Sessions on hold for now - the ones I do Monday mornings on Instagram. Instead, I am sharing shorter meditations - like this one, for calling in what you need for the week.

I am planning a new free class to happen soon (if you're signed up for my emails you'll get an invite).

And exploring the idea of offering a few small group coaching programs for other people who are navigating deep change, or starting new projects - so we can do this together.

 

Some questions

Make space to focus on self care

I've been having a lot of anxiety this week.

A few days ago I rode my bike to the park, and stopped for a lavender doughnut on the way.

Then I had a beautiful moment of calm in the park, in a haze of lavender sugar, and I came up with a few questions to help me navigate all of this.

Maybe you could use them too?

Where can you say no? Slow down? Lower expectations?

Where can you do things differently, in ways that honour how you are feeling?

What do you need right now?

How can you process some of your feelings to create even a small bit of space for yourself?

Stay there with these questions as long as you need.

A lot of us seem to have an unconscious goal of “getting back to normal” and working on that goal isn’t going to lead to the future we want.

So, instead of trying to get back to normal, what if we stay present where we are and put our efforts into really tending to what is here?

I Take Excellent Care of Myself: 8 Week Undated Self Care Planner is now available through the Creative Dream Incubator Press!

Find out more + get your copy here!

How my approach has changed since 2020

Last month I added the space-making module to Dream Book, as a supportive practice along side the dream work.

I started working on it it because so many people are feeling way too overwhelmed to get into the work of dream-making.

But as I kept working on it, I realized that SPACE-MAKING is the thing that helped me navigate the pandemic with my creaive projects relatively intact.

Creative Genius Planning is happening on Instagram Live today (Monday) at 10 am (Central).

This is meditation, journaling and discussion about how to get support from your Creative Genius (the most wise, brave and creative part of you) to navigate your next steps. And it's a regular weekly practice that helps with space-making AND dream-making.

Join me live on the Instagram app or catch the replay on my page after.

Holding Space for Yourself While Holding Space For Others

Holding Space for Yourself While Holding Space For Others

This is a discussion we've been having on Dream Book Zoom calls.

It starts with: How does a person hold space for themselves and their own process while also being a part of holding space for others IE working on dreams together in a group?

Which spawned the question: How do I, Andrea, do the work that I do where I hold space for myself and my own process as a part of how I hold space for others in my work?

We had Co-Dreaming a call where we got together to work on our next steps with our creative dreams.

This is what some people brought:

  • artwork to work on
  • admin tasks that they had been procrastinating on
  • planning projects
  • setting up new equipment

And one person brought a big painful stuck.

The stuck was about a life situation that was really hard and time consuming and it was bringing up a lot of stuff and that stuff was making progress on the creative dream project impossibly hard.

So we worked through it together.

One thing I REALLY want to do is normalize the stucks.

We feel alone in the stucks. We feel like we are "off track" or "not doing it right" so in these calls I really want to normalize understanding that these parts are all a part of the path.

When I say "bring what you've got to work on" I really do mean it. The thing that's stuck or the thing that's unknown are just as much a part of it as making the art and planning new projects.

At the end of the call, this is when the question was asked about how we are holding space.

One person who had been working on their own art while also listening to us work on the stuck and offer some ideas and space-holding was wondering - is this helpful for her? Did she focus too much on supporting the other person and not enough on her own project?

HOW do you hold space for others while also holding space for yourself?

There is a LOT inside this question.

The first thing is - how are you defining "holding space"?

Because holding space for other people, and for ourselves, is a place where A LOT of our unconscious behaviours and patterns can come into play, sometimes we think we're holding space but really we're doing something entirely different.

For the purpose of this article, holding space means:

  • allowing space for the person to have the feelings and experience that they are have
  • validating and honouring their feelings
  • validating and honouring their experience
  • supporting them in the ways that work for them, not bringing your own needs into it

But often, especially when people are being vulnerable, this can be tricky because of how we react to other people having feelings.

What happens there is we can become more focused on the feeling that's been triggered in us and how to get rid of it. Which means we are no longer holding space for the other person.

One common response in this scenario is to want to FIX or CHANGE what is happening. To offer ideas and advice and insights as a way of helping that person move through their experience more quickly because.... we feel uncomfortable with what they are sharing.

Another common response is the spiritual bypass. To feel uncomfortable with other people having feelings, so you kind of freeze out your own feelings, pretend you're not having any. Then you offer advice to help the other person stop having feelings too.

So, it's good to look at how YOU define holding space and where you may be struggling with it.

For Dream Book members - there is a 1 hour Q+A video on sovereignty that may help. The short version of that video, applied to this scenario, is:

Your feelings, experiences, and process are YOURS.

And other people's feelings, experiences and process are THEIRS.

Respecting the boundaries between those things is honouring sovereignty.

So if someone else shares something that upsets me, my work is to be with my own feelings, not try to rush that person out of their process so that I don't have to have my feelings about it. (Which is a fairly co-dependent response, and unfortunately really common in our culture).

It's not just dis-honouring of my own feelings that got triggered (because actually being with my feelings can help me heal) it's also dis-honouring of the other person's process because I am trying to get them out of their process ASAP instead of helping them move through its in the way that is right for them.

This is NOT holding space. But a lot of people really do "hold space" in this way in our culture. The new age tendency to spiritual bypass can really come into play here too.

Dream Book members: remember the Principles of Creative Dream Alchemy here, like: It takes the time it takes, Honour your process exactly as it is and don't wait or wish for it to be different, Feel the feelings that come up for you on the path to your dream.

Another aspect is the relationship between the people in the group, and the agreement about what we are doing together and how we are doing it.

In this group, I am offering group coaching. And our goal is to be able to move forward with our dreams.

The way I coach is all about drawing your creative genius out. I listen deep to what's being said and ask questions that help bring out more clarity. I generally don't bring in a lot of new ideas, but I will highlight things that are hiding beneath the things that are being said. You are a creative genius You have plenty of your own ideas.

I make this clear in the guidelines + policies for the group - we are working from the assumption that YOUR answers are in YOU.

Which means everyone else's answers are in them. So we're not about throwing advice at each other, but we sure can learn from each other.

The big thing about groups is that they have the potential to grow you deeper.

There is the saying: if you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go in community. And that's what I believe happens in these groups.

So yes, we can go further and have a richer experience when we work in community. NOT BEING ALONE WITH YOUR DREAMS is big magic.

But also yes we can often go faster with our projects when we work on our own.

And it's NOT like you have to choose one or the other - you can do both.

Working on your own, you will find it much easier to avoid your own blind spots and not even know that you are doing this!

Working in a group, your blind spots can be shown to you through the mirror of the group.

(This is not the ONLY way to see beyond your blind spots. I actually set Dream Book up very deliberately so that the way you're journaling helps you see beyond your blind spots, working on your own, because seeing beyond your blind spots is integral to making any dream happen.)  

The group can bring things up for you that don't notice on your own, but it's not really about the group. It's about your own relationship to group dynamics which are likely of course the family dynamics from your childhood and how you have internalized parts of them.

AND it's about your own relationship with yourself and your dreams.

So a lot of layers of internal stuff can be triggered for you while participating in any group.

This comes back to one of the principles I rely on: you notice/heal things when you are ready to notice/heal them.

You WILL walk around totally blind to the things about yourself that you would really benefit from looking at and dealing with.

We all do.

And you WILL start to notice it when you're ready to deal with it.

Which isn't necessarily when you FEEL ready to deal with it.

So you may notice it as a shock.

And it may be extremely uncomfortable.

And when we feel sudden uncomfortable feelings a natural tendency is to want to throw them back at whenever they came from.

But again - it's not about the group. You're seeing the mirror more clearly because you are ready to see it more clearly.

It's an invitation.

The great thing about a group where everyone is deliberately and specifically there to GROW INTO THEIR DREAMS is that when we plug into that shared intention it get stronger.

You're not holding your intention alone, everyone is holding it with you.

And so - things can shift. Just like you can be triggered by group dynamics or the things that other people share - you can also be inspired, healed and filled up by your interactions with the group.

I think it's magic.

AND it will push us to really look at our selves and our boundaries and our "stuff" in a new light.

So much growth.

Back to the question: How do you hold space for your own process while also holding space for others in a group?

The shortest answer is: practice.

And then also: presence. Notice in your body and mind where you engage and where you check out.

How does it feel to be fully engaged with the group, present with whoever is speaking, trusting them to navigate their own process, and holding space for them?

How does it feel to be fully engaged with your own feelings that come up, holding space for yourself?

Imagine those two points as a spectrum. Now where on that spectrum feels the most comfortable to you?

That answer may be different from day to day.

When it comes to Dream Book: you joined the group to work on your dreams. So that's the priority.

But that doesn't mean there isn't space to hold space for others in what they're working with - and sometimes that work actually helps nurture your dreams in ways you don't always see at first.

So. Show up to the calls and participate in the ways that feel right for you and I do believe you will find your way.

And onto the second question: How do I, personally do this, as the leader of the group while also participating in it?

One thing I do quite differently than most teachers in the personal growth space is that I do share my own process more deeply, openly, and consistently than anyone else I've seen.

I use myself as an example of what it means to have a daily practice of using what you have to create what you want. I write about this and share it EVERY DAY (Monday-Friday) in our private mastermind group.

I'm able to do this because I've been doing this work for so long that the container of my practice is extremely sturdy.

I KNOW I will work through stuff. Maybe not in 1 day or even a week, but I have enough experience to know that I'll get there. Having that trust means I'm not sharing from a place of trying to get attention or approval or hope that someone will come in and rescue me. It means people don't worry about me.

Say when things are rough they'll offer support but I'm not putting them into a position where they are concerned for me and need to put their own dreams aside to hold space for me.

That's the big thing. That boundary.

I am holding space for the group. This is my job. This comes first.

My own practice helps me be able to do this.

I'm DOING my practice for myself and SHARING it for others.

As I wrote about the spectrum of holding space only for yourself and holding space only for others, I have to remain aware of where I am on that spectrum.

A part of the work of me BEING ABLE to hold space for others in a consistent way (I have been running a membership holding space for others since the summer of 2012) is having a study practice for myself and clear boundaries.

There are some things about my practice that I don't share because my purpose in how I share is ALWAYS space-holding for the group.

So anything I can't share within that purpose - anything that I really need support on -  I work on by myself, or with my support systems outside of my work.

I believe space-holders NEED a support system.

Because the new age/personal growth industry is unregulated, it felt important to me to have support from a licensed therapist. I told her one of my therapy goals is making sure I am ok to hold space for others.

If I don't have all of the support I need outside of my work, I AM likely to shift the boundaries and unconsciously start leading the group in a way that focuses on getting MY needs met.

I have a lot of training as a space-holder though that doesn't mean I think you need a ton of training. I know some people with no training have excellent skills and some people with a ton of training still can't effectively hold space for others.

Part of my training included having teachers who were not walking their own talk. By experiencing the stress this causes for their students, I learned that walking my talk - and showing people HOW I walk my talk - was really important to me as a teacher.

Those teachers were also not getting the support they needed. Because of that, they were using their students to try to get their needs met - ie: approval, admiration - in mostly unconscious ways that created more problems than solutions.

If you have an unconscious goal to receive something from your students you absolutely cannot hold space for them in an effective way. Your energy is split.

Again - my purpose in how I share is ALWAYS space-holding for the group - not that I never need approval or admiration or other things, but I work on having the support I need to get those needs met outside of my work so I am not unconsciously seeking them from my students.

Another aspect is - this is just my unique way of doing things.

Everyone has gifts to share. And making it a practice to share your gifts helps you figure out how to share your gifts.

You learn as you practice, you grow as you practice, and you apply that learning and growth to how you continue to practice.

As I have done this over the years, this is how the work has evolved for me.

When we do our monthly new moon intention setting calls, I am right there with everyone setting my intentions.

The first part of the call is a meditation + journaling session that I participate in.

The second part of the call is coaching for processing things that are coming up for people.

If I have a bunch of stuff coming up that I am struggling with - I know I have to work on that later. That the call time is time for everyone else.

It's that boundary that I know my job is to hold space for the group, so that's always my first priority.

And again, my experience means I KNOW that I will work through it, I have the tools, space and support I need to trust that completely, so it's fine to put it down and focus on the group for the rest of the call. I can work on my own stuff later.

I actually enjoy sharing the stories of when I fail because I REALLY want people to know they are not alone in those parts of the journey.

Even though I still fail all the time, even though I have self doubts and anxiety and inner critics... I also HAVE my biggest dream come true, which is to use my creative gifts to help others and to be financially sustained by that work.

I have a lot of the freedom, spaciousness, and ease that I dreamed of for so long while I was trying to figure out how to offer my gifts in a way that people would receive them. (I was a starving artist, and then a person working in a cubicle while dreaming of a different life, before I started doing this full time)

So I really want people to see that they can fail and stumble a lot along the way and that they can still get there.

There are lots of people who hold space by not sharing their own process at all.

A dear friend, and someone I admire the hell out of, Chris Zydel, teaches intuitive painting and almost never shares her paintings and holds space masterfully.

As I said, it's a spectrum.

We all get to find the right place for us to be on that spectrum.

There is no one ideal way.

And this is only one blog post, this is NOT everything you need to know about holding space for others and yourself.

We did go back to that question on our next live call.

I told that person that I had written this post with a bunch of my thoughts, BUT ALSO I didn't know how useful this post would be to them, personally.

So we talked about the feeling that came up when she felt that fear "did I just put my own work aside to be there for someone else - during the time when I had the intention of working on my own work - and is this good for me?"

Because in some situations - yes this is VERY good for you!

And in some situations - yes you DID just sabotage your own dreams.

So we talked it though, to the point where she said "Oh it's that damn onion of life again" and yes that's what it is. So many interconnecting layers of our stuff and how we react to things.

It all comes together with our dreams.

All of the things you need to look at and heal. All the things you want to avoid. All of your most important gifts. All of the things that matter most to you.

They're all together there in a tangle and that tangle IS the path.

So navigating that path is never supposed to look like smooth sailing.

These are hard times. Making space for anxiety + overwhelm.

These are hard times. Making space for anxiety + overwhelm.

This was my practice this morning: painting my feelings.

I have a lot to say about this process of space-making. I was writing about it all weekend.

But today, that's not what's in me to share.

Today I want to share that I woke up anxious.

And so I made myself a latte and a green smoothie (well it came out red because I added a few slices of beetroot) and sat with my feelings and this is what came out.

I found the light. I followed it to a place where I was able to soften my body and mind, and offer myself some advice about slowing down and being more present with myself

A lot of people feel anxious right now.

I didn't have an issue with anxiety before the pandemic. I have one now.

Lots of people don't feel anxious but to worry or feel stressed or are just overwhelmed.

This is where we're at, collectively and yet a lot of people are feeling alone in it. I want you to know that you are not alone.

And the world is asking us to carry on as though this is not where we're at.

A space-making practice is a way to rebel against that.

It's actually a way to create a better world, both your own personal world and the larger world that we share.

Space-making helps us find the softness in the hard places. And those soft places do tend to come with dreams attached. Ideas for new things we want to create or new ways we want to be or experiences we want to have. The softness shows us the way.

The first step is to honour how you're feeling.

Give yourself the grace of making space to be where you are.

How do you feel right now? Where is that feeling in your body? Anywhere else? What's the story running through your mind?

Is there any light to be found? What might help this all soften? What do you need right now?

Making Space for your dream in the midst of all of this

Yesterday I made a new video about Dream Book and how we've been navigating everything since 2020.

The goal has NOT been to make sure everyone "stays on track" with their dreams and goals! Though anyone who has wanted to do that has been supported in that.

For most people though, the goals and dreams have changed, figuring out how to navigate the pandemic, physically and emotionally, suddenly became a priority.

But the tools stayed the same. The work stayed the same: Meeting yourself where you are and moving towards where you want to be.

It's just that there's a lot more overwhelm, exhaustion and heaviness to work through these days.

And I gotta say - NOT working through it feels like a really bad option. These last two years have been traumatizing, and doing nothing to process all of your feelings means they are going to be impacting you for a very long time.

Unprocessed feelings DO dull our dreams and our whole lives.

Lately, with where we are now, it's all gotten heavier, so I am shifting gears a little.

For the people who can engage with it - Dream Book remains a program that will help you build the path to your dream, handle all of the inner work of facing the places where you hold back, even all the stuff that's in your blind spots that you don't know about, and then help you GROW into the version of yourself that can navigate that path that leads to where you want to be.

But not everyone can engage with all of that right now and that is completely understandable.

For the people who can't engage with it because that's just too much - we're focusing on SPACE-MAKING.

I'm creating the new Space-Making program - though "program" is maybe the wrong word as this will be in VERY small doses so it can be done when you have NO capacity, because it can help increase capacity and make space from where you are. I guess "support system" is a better description.

And while I am creating that, I am inviting ALL Dream Book members to email me, let me know where you're at, and I'll help you come up with some tools/practices/support that are immediately helpful for your self care and help you shift towards where you want to be.

This is NOT a time to give up.

I have been working with a few people who had given up and are coming back to it and have all of the impacts of giving up to work through now.

Giving up on your dreams doesn't make everything else easier. It doesn't sooth overwhelm or bring lightness to the heaviness of the world.

What it does is add some new heavy layers of feelings. For some it's shame, grief, sadness, disappointment, that "see I knew you'd fail" kind of thing.

It's ALSO not the time to carry on as you had been.

Obviously.

I don't think anyone has that kind of energy and mental clarity right now.

But those are NOT your only options. This is actually an ideal time for CHANGE.

WHAT IF you were working on your dreams as a healing practice?

WHAT IF you were working on your dreams as a self care practice?

WHAT IF there was no pressure or timelines or perfectionism?

WHAT IF this was a way of bringing JOY into your life, right here right now, while also setting your future self up for MORE joy?

This is what our dreams have always been asking of us.

This is what Dream Book has been encouraging you to do all along. Your dream is here to HEAL you, GROW you, and bring you the JOY of being who you really are.

But you know that "how you do anything is how you do everything" thing? We bring a lot of shitty patterns into how we approach our dreams.

We can stop doing that.

In fact, not like I like to should anyone, but I think we SHOULD stop doing that.

There is a much better way.

So here is that video:

And here is Dream Book. Send me an email when you join and we'll work out your unique way of getting into all of this.

We all deserve better.

The last two years have been hard and we've all picked up habits that DID help us cope when we started them, and no longer serve us.

Whatever habits you picked up during the pandemic are completely understandable.

AND

Do you deserve better habits?

Habits that light you up? That make you stronger? Habits that feel like JOY? Things you do every day that make you feel POWERFUL and ALIVE and help you trust yourself more deeply?

Habits Upgrade Alchemy Circle + Coaching Call is tomorrow.

This isn't the usual life coach thing where I want you to upgrade to all of the "best" habits so you can slay your goals ASAP.

This is you calling in what you need right now through exquisitely feels-good-in-the-moment habits that soothe your soul, re-connect you to your inner power and magic, and make it easier for you to navigate these chaotic times.

For me this looks like:

  • replacing 50% of my doomscrolling with embroidery (I'm making such a cute embroidered shirt dress for spring!)
  • starting each day with essential oils that make me feel happy, and binaural beats music to sooth anxiety and spark creative thinking
  • jogging around the loft while I wait for the water to boil to make coffee or tea which helps me feel more energized all day long

What will it look like for you? What can you do that will bring you joy and magic and healing RIGHT NOW?

This is not about forcing "good" habits, or judging anything about the habits you've got going on right now. This is NOT the time for any of that.

It's about looking at what new JOYFUL habits you can create that bring more beauty, joy, self care and magic into your life.

We all need to be as grounded and resourced as possible right now.

Habits Upgrade is happening live tomorrow (Friday, March 11) at 1:00 pm Central (North America), and the replay will be available a few hours after. There is a private comments section, so if you work with the replay you can still ask questions, share your ideas, and get support as you do this.

Habits Upgrade is included in your Dream Book membership for March.

Join us here.

And yes - you also get Creative With Money which is happening March 15!

This is one of my most beloved classes, and is definitely needed right now.

There will be ah-hahs and shifts and the glowing sense of feeling more free inside your life.

This is for creative entrepreneurs AND people with no interest in having their own business. It's about your relationship to money, which is also about your relationship to: abundance in general, trusting yourself, what what kind of life you deserve to have.

The vibe is: YOUR CREATIVE GENIUS IS BIGGER THAN ALL OF THE OBSTACLES - EVEN CAPITALISM.

Both of these classes are included in your Dream Book membership for March.

join us here.

Holding Space For All The Things You’re Experiencing

My morning meditation led me to draw this diagram.

I wanted to be able to just SEE these things I was holding, sitting in front of me.

These aren't ALL the things I am holding, but these are the three things that feel most "up" for me today.

Drawing it out like this, which is how I was guided to do by my dream in meditation this morning, helped me feel more grounded about:

  • I don't need to JUGGLE these things they can all intersect and kind of form one thing
  • They intersect in ways I do and do not see
  • It's fine to feel/think all the things I feel/think - even where they conflict with each other
  • No one thing is more important than the others, I can make space for all of it

Before I did this, I honestly felt like I couldn't make progress with anything today because these thoughts/feelings were all jumbled up and leaving me with no options.

This is pretty common for me.

BEFORE I make space for everything - what I want feel impossible.

AFTER I make space for everything - I feel clear about AND ready to take my next steps.

This is one of the places where most people get it wrong with their dreams... waiting to see the path clear ahead of you instead of just taking the steps you can take from where you are right now.

Showing up every day and doing the teeny tiny little things that you CAN do is what builds the path.

The more chaotic the world becomes, the more heavily I lean on this practice.

If you are NOT making space for all the things you're feeling - WHICH INCLUDES YOUR WISHES FOR THE THINGS THAT YOU WANT AND  FIGURING OUT HOW TO MOVE TOWARDS THEM - you are going to get all tangled up in everything and it's NOT going to be possible to create positive change in your life.

That doesn't mean your dreams are not possible.

It means this is the work you need to do, to get there. It's up to you do decide to do this work consistently, or not.

And I really want to encourage you to DO THAT WORK because YOU DESERVE ALL THE THINGS YOU ARE DREAMING OF.

And, collectively, it's our creative dreams that will help guide us to create a better world for everyone.

Join Dream Book and do this with me.

You’ve got a lot of magic in you.

And I’ve got a lot of tools, tips and practices to help you use it more effectively as FUEL for your DREAMS.

 

Start today! Get access to ALL of my free classes* here:

*Included classes:

 

Your Next Steps: a journaling + meditation class for navigating your next steps with your dream.

Help! I'm Stuck!: a 4 day class for getting un-stuck and transforming your stuck energy into FUEL for your dream.

The Hard Parts Are Where The Magic Happens: 80 minute healing circle and inner work workshop

Soothe*Restore*Grow: 80 minue deep dive into healing pandemic overwhelm and growing into your wildest dreams for what's next