Over the weekend I shared this post from Chani Nicholas who had re-posted the image from Traceee Ellis Ross but added her own comments.

M E R C U R Y
R E T R O G R A D E
L E S S O N S
.
If you’ve got white privilege put the words in your mouth. Call it what it is. White Supremacy. White Terrorism. Anti-Semitism. Nazism. Call it. All. The. Time. Put the words in your mouth so they can find their way into the ears of the folks around you that are sheltered by their privilege. This is love. Love cares enough to be honest. Love cares enough to be angry at injustice. Love cares enough to put itself on the line.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

It really speaks to me how Channi connects outer-world political work that needs to be done with the inner-world cycles and journeys that we go on as we grow towards our wholeness.

These two cannot be held separate.

When you’re working on your dream you are doing your own inner work of growing towards your full creative and spiritual potential.

This grows you. This changes how you show up in the world and it deepens the impact you are able to have on the world.

I mean at the core your dream is about changing the world.

It’s easy to think that your dream is about changing YOUR world. But dreams are more connected than that.

Your dream is your purpose, authenticity and creativity brought to life. Your dream serves as a light that lights the path for the dreamers who come next.

Your dreams support other dreamer’s dreams. And other dreamer’s dreams support yours – in millions of ways known and unknown, seen and unseen.

Dreams do not get divided up by the race of the dreamer!

When people of colour have a harder time making their dreams real because they are facing the obstacles of systemic racism as well as the obstacles to dreaming that we all face – it means we all miss out.

We are all in this together. We need to support each other.

Most of the people reading my blog are white women.

White women are being called upon to help right now. It is time (I mean it’s way beyond time but the present is all we have) to dismantle the systems of oppression that make life easier for white people and harder for people of colour.

I know you want to say “Wait! I struggle too! My life has not been easy!” and of course it hasn’t. No one’s life has been easy.

But you and your family have not been treated differently by society at large your whole life because of the colour of your skin. Your sons are not more likely to be incarcerated or even killed by Police (if you live in the US). Your daughters are not more likely to be murdered or go missing indefinitely with no answers (if you live in Canada). You job applications do not get rejected because you have “a weird name”.

There are millions of obstacles, big and small, that people of colour face that we white people don’t even think about.

So I will say it again. It is time (I mean it’s way beyond time but the present is all we have) to dismantle the systems of oppression that make life easier for white people and harder for people of colour.

And white people need to be a part of that process.

This helps create a better world for all of us. This helps create more possibilities for all of us. This supports everyone’s dreams.

This is a part of your dream work.

Resources.

It’s best to do some googling yourself to look at the issues that are facing your community specifically – that’s where you can be the best help.

Please come to this post on Facebook so you can add links to helpful resources that you know of. I am not an expert! We need to help each other here.

How to fight racism

Hard Conversations: An Intro to Racism course

How Racism Spreads

In America:

Ten Ways To Fight Hate

I need to talk to spiritual white women about white supremacy

In Canada:

Read this book!!!

Ryan McMahon’s 12-step guide to decolonizing Canada on CBC

And please do comment on Facebook to add more resources.

[I’m going to start posting readings for all of the Creative Dream Oracle Cards. There are 48 cards, so this is going to take a while!]

All of the cards can have many different meanings (which can change from time to time) – when doing your own readings trust you gut and ask your dream about what the message means for you.

creative dream oracle cards

Your relationship with your dream is like any other relationship in your life – your own commitment to the relationship plays a huge role in the quality of the relationship.

Your dream is already devoted to you. It picked you. It’s staying with you.

Are you staying with it? Are you making time for it? Are you treating it like it matters to you? Are you making sacrifices for your dream?

Devotion has magic in it.

True devotion can change everything.  But we tend to wait to devote ourselves to something until we feel sure that it will “pay off”. And that kills the magic.

Right now your dream needs you to be more devoted to it – no matter what’s in it for you.

What would it look like to be truly devoted to your dream?

Creative Dream Oracle Cards: Messages + advice from your dream – any time you need it.

Click here to buy now

NOTE: I only designed the cards.  The cards are sold, printed and shipped in the United States by a company called Game Crafter. All questions about ordering and shipping must go through Game Crafter

 

you always have what you need to take your next step

(This is the PLAYBOOK from Dream Lab: Explore The Miracle Of Your Dream – this is my free class, you can sign up here)

You always have what you need to take your next step. This is the miracle of your dream.

But you can’t always see it.

When you can’t see this that usually means you are wrong about what your next step actually is.

And that’s where I’m at this morning.

I keep writing out this explanation of why I’m having such a crappy morning, and then deleting it because it doesn’t matter why.

I’m having a rough morning.

I’m cranky. I can’t get to work – my head just isn’t in it. Like everything I try to do just doesn’t work.

So where is the miracle in this?

I have been wanting to share my own stories with the Dream Lab to show all the unexpected ways you can work with your dream and generate the miracles you need on the path to making your dream real.

I trust the Dream Lab to help me get through any rough patch. But right now I am trapped so tight in this tight spot I don’t see how this is going to work.

I share that to say – you don’t have to always believe that you’re going to triumph! You just have to keep showing up.

So I don’t know what my next step is in this moment.

Luckily I do know what steps I want to take this week – I already had that mapped out.

But this morning I feel incapable of taking those particular steps.

So – what do I do?

I start by meeting with my dream (the practice I teach in the Dream Lab).

My dream is a big marble and the more I look at it the more it grows. It grows into the size of a billiard ball but it’s blue and purple with lights and everything is moving around – it looks like the cosmos.

I sit there not knowing what to do and my dream whispers “Pick me up”

So I hold it in my hands and it’s not a billiard ball anymore. It keeps growing and ends up growing bigger than me, so now I am sitting inside of this cosmos ball.

Oh! My dream wants to offer me a healing.

Being inside this ball feels like I am floating in the universe, getting all filled up with love and trust and magic and then I get the message:

“Oh honey. Everything will happen in the right time. Patience”

And suddenly I know what I need to do.

I need to clean up!

One reason why I am so off this morning is because we were too tired to clean up our camping stuff yesterday so this morning the house was a disaster. In fact, we were also in a rush to get out of the city to go camping so the house was already pretty messy before we went camping. So you can imagine.

I need to do laundry and put stuff away.

I need to clean up as a ritual for creating space in my life for creativity and dreams.

Not just clean up – but clear space with intention.

This will bring me into a more creative and productive space for taking my next steps.

So see what happened there?

My next steps that I have mapped out – the productive creative stuff I want to do this week – are not my actual next steps that I need to take. I was getting all tangled up trying to make myself do stuff I just can’t do right now.

My actual next steps are to take care of myself and my space – to create space to do the work in.

This is how it usually is – when we can’t take our next steps it’s because we are wrong about what our next steps actually are. We’re usually looking too far ahead and not staying present with what needs to happen right here in this moment.

Oh hey!! Tuesday, August 15 we’re having a live Q+A call in the Dream Lab – this is free and open to everyone.

Because this is tricky work and it’s easier when we do it in community.

My aim is to create a call that is inspiring and uplifting both the people who attend live and those who work with the recording.

On the call I’ll lead you through the practice of connecting with the heart and soul of your dream. Then we’ll dig in an explore what’s going on with your dream and what you can do to help it grow.

We’ll have loads of time for Q+A – when I do this work in a group we always have the best discussions so I want to make a lot of space for that.

Of course this call will be most helpful for those who are already working with the practice I teach in the Dream Lab. But for those of you who have been struggling to make time to get into the Dream Lab – listening to this call can be an easier way in.

Again – this is free and open to everyone! But you do have to register.

>>>> Register right here.

This is my continuing explorations of the stress/overwhelm/discomfort I was feeling earlier this week – if you missed those part 1 is here and part 2 is here.

Part 3 on this series on exploring the discomfort - it turns out Calm was the doorway to the miracle I was looking for. The doorway rarely looks the way the we think it should or the way we want it to.

This morning I opened my journal to a blank page.

So – back up a bit – I am doing the Year of Dreams 2017 diligently in my journal, but even still I do not use all of the prompts each week. And that’s ok! It’s meant to give you lots of material to work with, so when I made it I figured everyone wouldn’t do every prompt.

So when I don’t do all of the prompts for one week, I tuck them into the little pocket in the back of my Moleskine journal (I use this one but for the 2018 Year of Dreams I want to go bigger so I just ordered this one)

So this morning I reached into that little pocked and pulled out a sacred geometry drawing filled with the quality of calm.

“Awwww shit” I thought “Calm? Really?” And I rolled my eyes as I glued the calm into my journal.

See I didn’t want calm. I wanted a miracle.

But I have learned to stay in the process even when I don’t like it so I didn’t throw out the calm and pick again like I wanted to.

I started to colour in the calm and do the energy alchemy work to invite it in. (The Year of Dreams program comes with the printable and with energy alchemy processes for working with them)

And then I saw it: of course if calm was my co-worker for today that would probably fix everything.

And as I started to journal about that I realised that if calm was my co-worker every day that would REALLY fix everything.

Calm was the doorway to the miracle I was looking for.

The doorway rarely looks the way the we think it should or the way we want it to.

I kept inviting in the quality of calm, letting it fill me and my schedule and my dreams and goals and plans.

I kept exploring how calm would change things.

At first calm was saying things like I could be more productive if I slowed down and enjoyed the work more.

But as we explored deeper calm showed me that if I would remove all of the deadlines I had assigned my projects and just let things take the time they take (revolutionary!!) not only could I do much better work but I could enjoy the work more AND I could do more to share my process along the way – which is where I have been really stuck lately (although this is my 5th blog post this week so that stuck may be resolved now).

Calm feels that it was inevitable that I would realise that all of the deadlines I am giving myself right now are just ridiculous.

That’s probably right. I usually don’t do deadlines but right now I am feeling pressure from my own muse and dreams.

I don’t usually have this pressure so I am just doing the best I can to work with it.

I do feel like I am moving through some heavy fog and can’t really see where I’m going. So I just re-assess every day, learn a teeny bit more each time I do that, and then carry on. I know I won’t be on the fog forever and that this is an important part of healing, growth and transformation.

You can’t get anywhere new if you stay in territory you already know.

It’s like calm is showing me that I can use this pressure in other ways – like to expand and deepen and not to quicken.

Because pressure can be a helpful energy if you are deliberate and conscious about how you apply it.

I still have to explore exactly what that means and what it looks like in terms of my day to day schedule but holy hell it feels amazing right now.

I mean – I suddenly feel like there is space for everything. Like all of my projects can breathe.

After months of having way more ideas and dreams than I do time and energy this is a miracle.

A few weeks ago I wasn’t feeling well. I gathered up a bunch of healing tools and put them on my night table and was inspired to take this picture:

Because it felt so good to have all this stuff gathered beside my bed and I wanted to hold onto this feeling and remind myself that I could do this when I feel good too.

A few days later I realised… well I can’t have all this stuff here all the time. My minimalist night table but it was minimalist for a reason – it’s just this little wooden thing on the floor and it’s sitting where we walk by it all the time and when there is stuff on it that stuff gets knocked off.

This is just one of the little growing pains of sharing the Dream Loft with my new husband. I gave him my night table and re-arranged the bedroom loft in a way which works better with the new kind sized bed but left me very little space for my night table.

And then I woke up the next morning with an idea. A cart! On wheels! That IKEA cart that everyone on the internet puts their art supplies in!

And the self-care cart was born.

Three levels of magic self care stuff!

And yes there still isn’t a ton of room for it in this space but if we bump it it will roll away from us! And there are little walls on each shelf so things won’t fall over.

When I am chilling in bed – like reading or journaling – I like to put my head at the foot of the bed. When I am resting or sleeping I put my head at the head. This way I can easily roll the cart to where I want it to be.

It’s perfect.

What I put on it:

  • Candles
  • I had flowers on it for a while, now I have a succulent growing there
  • The crystals I like to have near me while I sleep
  • A lucky horseshoe that my husband found for me in the gravel parking lot of the Dream Loft – they were digging it up to make the new parking lot and this got unearthed
  • A whole row of books!
  • A pile of aromatherapy potions – sleepy time perfumes, uplifting blends, stuff like that.
  • Inspiration cards
  • A little box with a lid on the bottom for stuff I want to have here but don’t want to look at like foot lotion, ear plugs, private stuff, etc.
  • Two sleeping masks sit on top of that box so they are easy to find (one often falls off and gets lost in the pillows while I sleep and I really do sleep better using one)
  • And I like to leave space to put different things there that I may need from time to time

I also have a wooden box under the bed where I keep a few journals that are just for recording stuff while in bed (not my normal everyday journals) and some meditation tools.

And now my husband wants his own cart and I want another one for downstairs.

Yesterday I explored the voice that says “YOU’RE NOT DOING ENOUGH!” and ended up unearthing a really angry, resentful voice. You can read that here.

I ended that post by writing: “But right now I am feeling immense relief to have seen the anger for what it is and have given it some space.

But that’s not the end of the story! Exploring this stuff is a daily practice.

This morning when I meet with the anger it shows up as a candle burning in the darkness.

So, hello candle. How are you today?

“I feel really good that you listened to me yesterday and that when you listened to me it also helped me see the bigger picture a bit better.” The candle is speaking calmly and seems genuinely happy to see me and goes on…

“I was stuck on my resentments about how hard you are working – how exhausted you are most nights and how you’re not going out to play as often as you used to.”

Yeah – you know I don’t think I had acknowledged for myself what a long hard road it’s been lately. I mean I know I’ve been talking about working a lot and being tired but to compare my life this summer to my life the last few summers I see how this looks awful.

But my creative muse has been so awake! And my dreams have been so demanding! And I want to follow them, I want to live in tune with my own truth and I accept that that’s hard sometimes.

I know I love summer and usually work less in summer to enjoy being outside more and that this really fuels me and my dreams.

But thought I was OK with giving that up for one summer – especially considering I am going to Mexico at the end of October so I’ll have a week of full-on summer playtime then.

I did not stop to think that some parts of me may get resentful about “missing” summer right now – or about squishing it into weekends instead of having regular playtime.

“Thank you, I am glad you are acknowledging where I’m coming from. I think a lack of acknowledgement caused me to get petty and get all upset that you were working so hard and not getting any rewards for it. I get it – you are doing this work to do this work and if external rewards will come they’ll come later.”

The candle starts to smile – like it’s a pillar candle and the bottom splits and each side goes up into a smile but then the wax keep stretching into a circle and then forms a ball of light, handing in the darkness.

Then it starts to shine brighter and it’s not so dark anymore.

A few hours after writing my post yesterday, I felt totally liberated.

I was suddenly feeling loads of creative energy flowing. I wasn’t confused about where to direct it I was just in the flow.

It’s amazing how that anger, deep beneath the surface where I couldn’t see or feel it was getting me all tangled up. And it’s amazing how much space was freed inside my by siting that feeling space to express itself.

(If you’re not sure what I mean by that watch the video in the Dream Lab about why this is hard and how it works – if you’re already registered the video is here, if you haven’t registered you can do that here to get your login details sent to you)

So there are blessings and gifts and even miracles in the uncomfortable feelings that come up on the path to a dream.

Sometimes it just takes longer for the blessings to show up but what I have found is that I can get at the blessings faster and faster now – after years of practice.

So where does this leave me today?

I don’t know! Let’s recap: I was feeling confused and overwhelmed.

I spoke with the voice who said I wasn’t doing enough and this voice was really about anger and resentment that needed to be felt so they could flow through.

Now – am I still confused and overwhelmed?

No. I’m looking over my schedule and feeling like there is space to do what I want to do.

Looking at where my projects are at and feeling excited about what I am doing.

I still feel hopeful about having this new program ready to go this fall but also accepting that it may not happen – I want to do my best work, not my fastest work.

Yeah – everything feels calm inside me when I contemplate my work for today so I think I’m good here.

This is a page from the Dream Lab: Explore The Miracle Of Your Dream Playbook (which you can download for free as a part of the Dream Lab class right here)

Exploring what feels uncomfortable about your dream is tricky work so I thought I would share my process today in exploring that voice that says that I AM NOT DOING ENOUGH.

This voice has been getting louder lately.

And I have been assuming it’s because I am in this big creative expansion and I don’t really know where this process is leading me to. I just have so many ideas I want to do them all at once. This part of the creative process is always confusing for me.

I have been assuming this voice comes from my creative process.

But I just remembered – hey! Fears are TRICKY!

They like to dress up as reasonable responses and ideas. They know when they show up as fears they are treated differently than when they show up as reasonable voices.

Oh shit I fell for it.

This voice isn’t a part of this creative expansion I am in.

This voice is a fear that is coming up in response to the creative expansion I am in.

So, ummm, hello voice? Can we talk?

Voice shows up as a GIANT rainbow caterpillar, about 6 feet long, floating about 3 feet in the air, cool as a cucumber and says “Oh sure we can talk”

I stand there for a few minutes, just getting used to being here with the caterpillar.

And I notice that the caterpillar isn’t real. It’s a costume. There is a person standing there wearing a caterpillar tied around their waist.

“So could you take off the costume?”

The caterpillar is furious. They rip off the costume. Now it’s a very angry person.

I shift my weight around a bit, feeling very uncomfortable all of a sudden.

“You want to know why I’m angry?”

“Yes”

  • You work so hard for so little.
  • You’re sharing your heart out there, day after day and people ignore it.
  • You take the work so seriously and no one else takes you seriously.
  • You are not properly seen or understood.

I am feeling bowled over by the intensity of the anger, which I had not noticed was there!

“This is why I have been pushing you to share more do more be more. To get the recognition that you deserve.”

Oh wow.

I struggle to find a balance between acknowledging the voice of anger and also wanting to rush in and remind it of all the good…. that I am not wealthy but have a good life and there are people who listen and take me and my work seriously and that I love my students and my work.

But I know I need to give this anger space. It doesn’t need to be right it needs to be heard.

So I sit down and let my anger know I’ll sit and listen for as long as it wants to talk.

Anger mumbles “Yeah I know actually we have it really good.  We have amazing people in the Circle. We have a fantastic life with enough money to enjoy it.”

Then anger asks “But still, can’t I just be pissed about how hard this is sometimes?”

“Oh of course. How can I help?”

“Well I was thinking if you would just work harder at doing the right things then everything would be easier and I wouldn’t be upset anymore, but now I can see that that’s not right.”

So I say “Right. You’re upset and you need to be heard and respected. Once you have enough space then we’ll know what to do about this.”

OK something is really shifting in my heart. I’m not sure what it is, but this feels like a good spot to stop our meeting and give this a chance to marinate.

This is the mess of exploring the uncomfortable parts! You just don’t know where it’s going to lead.

But right now I am feeling immense relief to have seen the anger for what it is and have given it some space.

One of the cool things about my new (free!) Dream Lab class is that it explains, more clearly than I have ever been able to explain before I think, why the inner work of living your dreams is so complex and terrifying at times.

I mean it explains why it’s good when it’s bad and what to do about that, if you know what I mean.

So with that explanation in place and accessible to anyone who wants it I feel like I can write here on a deeper level.

That’s part of why I have felt so stuck lately when it comes to sharing my own process and stories. I worked so hard to create this space to share more deeply and now it’s like... well shit I have to share more deeply.

Usually that moment when a dream comes into reach we realise just how afraid we are of actually having it.

I mean it’s one thing to dream about it and quite another to step up and be that person who does this thing. So that’s where I am.

It’s the full moon tomorrow.

I want to take my step-kids to the park tonight and talk about what we want to give to the moon, so the moon can shrink the things while it shrinks over the next few weeks.

This is what I would like to give to the moon:

  • Feeling debilitated by the overwhelm of having too much on my plate
  • Stress about the problems I have been having with [thing I don’t want to talk about in public]
  • Exhaustion

These are things I can do to help the shrink process along.

Feeling debilitated by the overwhelm of having too much on my plate:

I could check out the million and one blog posts + videos I’ve done about overwhelm on my blog over the years – or just remember that the solution is always to give my feelings space and then get out my journal and map out this too-full plate so I can see everything in front of me instead of having it all float around in my mind.

I can remember that step 1 is a practice that I need to repeat as often as needed – and it’s ok if I already did that yesterday I can do it again today.

Stress about the problems I have been having with [thing]:

The problem is not the [thing] which is manageable it’s the stress I feel about something I learned about the [thing] this weekend.

So what can I do to help shrink the stress?

Exercise is such a good way that works for me except right now I am not feeling up to it because of [thing] which feels exceptionally frustrating.

I could trust in myself to be able to handle what happens in life. Oh! Writing that shows me that this is linked to general fears about getting older and health problems that could develop.

Making space for my feelings and letting it be messy right now feel like the best things I can do with it at this time.

Exhaustion:

Rest.

Daily epsom salt baths.

Good nutrition (I am already ahead of this one – my fridge is full of fresh local farmer’s market produce).

Trusting that I’ll feel less tired when I feel less tired and letting myself be tired right now.

HA. MAKE SPACE FOR MY FEELINGS.

That’s what it call comes back to.

If my feelings feel bigger than usual – then I need to make bigger space.

Click here to buy now

NOTE: I only designed the cards.  The cards are sold, printed and shipped in the United States by a company called Game Crafter. All questions about ordering and shipping must go through Game Crafter

I love these cards and I am so happy to share them with you.

Click here to buy now