I write a blog post every day (Monday-Friday) in the Creative Dream Circle just to share what I’m up to in my own Dream Work and to create space for everyone else to share what they’re up to because we grow best in community. Today’s post wanted to be shared out here:
It’s Monday morning. I’m sitting in a coffee shop, playing with the new Year of Dreams journaling prompts but feeling a little unsure as I write out all of my ideas for what I do to move towards my dreams this week.
I have great ideas but the thought of implementing them was making me feel a little tired and unsure.
Also I had a nightmare last night which is rare for me, and it was making it harder for me to just jump into the day.
I sat with that for a bit, just making space for what I was feeling:
- a little tired
- a little foggy from the nightmare
- overwhelmed at the thought of everything I want to do next
- unsure that I can really DO all of the things I want to do
As I just accepted all of these feelings and sat with them without trying to change them – they changed. Like a little door opened that showed me possibility and magic. Suddenly all these new feelings wooshed in:
- a sense of spaciousness and delight about having this whole week free for my new creative projects
- deep deep gratitude for having that space to pursue my creative ideas and build my dreams
- inspiration with a sense of trust that I can follow through on it, remembering that it usually only feels impossible before I get started, once I start taking baby steps moments starts to build
- a feeling of being energized and ready to get to work
Now I’ve got all of these feelings floating around. I feel perked up and ready to either:
- pick a project and start working on it
- journal about all of the projects I want to work on this week and see what this tells about when to do what
I’ll start with #1 and if that doesn’t work I’ll do #2.
So my post about not knowing how to show up lately really struck a chord!
I got a lot of feedback and it was pretty much split 50/50 between people saying that leaving Facebook is the best thing that’s ever happened to them and people saying that if I leave they will really miss me and not to discount the value of showing up with your light!
I spent a lot of time thinking about how I DO want to show up and I wrote a long blog post which I just deleted because it just circles around and around and around. And we NEED to circle around and around and around to explore things, but we don’t need to put all of that out there for the world to read.
When you have a lot of conflicting feelings and wishes you need to be able to sit with ALL of them before you’re going to find clarity. So it get messier before it gets cleaner.
This is where I’m at now:
It’s not really about Facebook, it’s about the bigger picture of how I want to show up. I mean I discovered that after really exploring all of my conflicting feelings about Facebook which are too boring to share here. (And I have been spending a lot less time on Facebook these last few weeks which is working for me)
My work changed this year.
Creative Dream Alchemy is different from the other things I have taught. It’s more expansive and liberating. Like, instead of “teaching a class” I am “making space + sharing tools for libration and magic”.
I am so thrilled for this shift inside my classes and I want this shift to ripple out into how I show up online.
In the meantime, while I have been busy changing, the internet has been busy changing and the world has been busy changing.
So – where do I fit now? I don’t know.
With so much change swirling around, how could I know this? But I have some ideas I can explore.
Monday night I saw Micheal Franti in concert. I love Micheal Franti so much, especially live. I mean I am highly introverted and get super cranky if I am not in bed by 10 but I happily went to his concert that started at 10 – and I jumped around for 2 hours.
I feel like he is performing group healings during his concerts, but I think it’s just that he is fully present and sharing his gifts with absolutely open heart and that is always a magical thing to experience.
Over the next few days I realised: I want Micheal Franti to be my role model for how to do business online.
(Which isn’t about Micheal Franti himself, it’s about the qualities I see in him)
I know that there are a lot of creative people doing cool things online. But there are more people being kind of sleazy and making a lot of money from that sleazy shit. Manipulative copy, pain-point marketing, etc. And I think, unconsciously, we pick that up. We develop the belief that this is how you’re supposed to be, if you want to be successful. We do tend to pick up on the belief systems of the culture around us.
In order to not pick that up, we have to really work on choosing and nurturing the beliefs we want to hold. So, I got this idea to take on Micheal Franti as my role model as a way of pushing those other ideas out.
To me, Micheal Franti represents:
- alignment with creativity, purpose and integrity
- deep emotional range
- growing the possibility of making the world a better place in a grounded way (no spiritual by-pass)
- the power of showing up with a wildly open heart – and how this draws people in (the people who resonate with your message)
I know this is what I do too.
But I want to do it in a more open way. Like I am so sensitive and introverted I know I put up all sorts of walls just to feel safe.
Micheal Franti is just open. He seems to just TRUST bigger.
What if I trusted my mission so much that I trusted that it is safe to show up for it in bigger ways?
Which is a funny question to explore in light of the other thing that happened this week.
I got a massage! The day of the Micheal Franti concert (Monday) I got a deep tissue massage. It was supposed to be this special treat day.
But I reacted really strongly to the massage. I had the massage in the morning and the rest of the day I was exhausted and sore. Then I remained exhausted and sore for the next two whole days! And fuzzy-headed and unable to do the work I had wanted to do this week.
Thursday morning I sat down to write my weekly reflection + visioning post – I do these once a week in the Creative Dream Circle and invite everyone to work with the same prompts with me. Repeating these prompts every week really helps you stay moving in the right direction.
So as I wrote this week’s update I looked at what I had written the week before and I saw it – my dream was asking me for deep rest and renewal.
I thought that meant – take it easy on the weekend and then let’s jump back in next week. But really my dream was asking for the kind of deep rest that the massage forced me to do.
Like after 2.5 days of bring frustrated by needing so much recovery time, I suddenly saw the purpose in it.
And I saw how those days gave me the space to start to see things differently.
I saw that instead of looking for ways to show up online brighter – I need to look for ways to create spaces where I feel safe showing up brighter.
So it’s like the answer to the question about how to show up more open and whole-hearted is about boundaries and creating spaces where I feel safe and nourished in showing up more open and whole-heartedly.
Like yes – I am a highly sensitive person so I need to do things differently. It doesn’t mean I can’t do thing at all!
Ah! As I wrote that out something came to me: it’s not about creating boundaries in the outer world. It’s about my own practices + self-care.
Building myself up to be grounded and strong to stand taller.
And now that it’s all here in black and white it seems so obvious. Which is the best kind of insight – when we journal our all of our thoughts and follow our feelings and go around in circles for a few weeks and then suddenly land on something that feels solid and true.
So here I am.
Now I’m exploring how to create this container for myself and all the ways I WANT to show up differently right now.
The ideas that are most inspiring at this point is to do a weekly video for dreamers and to start a new journal just for the Creative Dream Incubator where I can not only gather, explore and process all of my ideas for what to do next but have space to reflect on the process of implementing it all.
But now that I feel that the inner part feels aligned, I trust that the outer stuff will work itself out as long as I keep experimenting and exploring.
1. On Tuesday, September 4 I am doing a Facebook LIVE video about doing business from the heart because I think this is an important conversation to have in public. I am doing this with my friends and colleagues Effy Wild and Chris Zydel. Find out what time this is in your time zone and sign up for a optional reminder email right here.
2. Last week I was a part of a series of conversations about making a career transition that works for you, hosted by Keren Brown of The Awakened Midlife. If you’re looking at making a transition in your life you’re going to love it! You can still access the recordings over the weekend and into next week: sign up here.
NOTE: So this ended up being kind of rambly – but I’m posting it anyway because of how it all comes together in the end. I mean this is how journaling works.
Every morning I write a blog post in the Creative Dream Circle. I write about what’s happening with me and my dreams, all of the ups and downs and the tools and approaches I use to stay grounded on the path and keep moving towards my deepest and wildest dreams.
Since I’ve been doing this, I’ve been at a loss for how/what to write on my blog. Because I write differently in the private, safe space of the Circle than I do in the public space of my blog.
Though I’ve always challenged myself to be open and vulnerable in what I share. Like I have all sorts of practices and processes for handling vulnerability hangovers, because I have so many of them.
I think that as a teacher this is important – I need to be a role model for walking my own talk and sharing my stories has always been my natural way of doing that.
Social media gets a bad rap for being fake because people are only sharing their highlight reels.
But I think it’s just human nature. We’re careful about where we share the hard parts, as we should be. We need to protect the places where we’re vulnerable.
Yes, we also need to remember that everyone else is doing the same thing, and remember not to compare our insides to their outsides. But it doesn’t mean people should start sharing *everything* on their social media channels.
We need to feel safe before we can share the vulnerable stuff.
So I’m feeling unsure about how to write for my blog and unsure about how to show up on social media – Facebook in particular.
I don’t know how to show up lately.
I did a week of free classes via Facebook Live (Dreams & Angels) 90% because it felt like the Angels were telling me to do it and 10% because I wanted to experiment with new ways of showing up on social media to try to find something that feels right.
I LOVED doing Dreams & Angels.
AND I could feel how there were all these places we couldn’t go to because we were on Facebook.
Because dreams are just too vulnerable.
And it used to feel ok to share some of this vulnerable dream stuff. But lately somehow it doesn’t feel ok.
The world is changing.
We all know this.
There are terrifying things happening everywhere. And it keeps getting worse. We keep thinking it can’t get worse and then it gets worse.
Facebook, as our global virtual water cooler, is where we go to talk about it. And we absolutely need to talk about it, we need a way to process our feelings around all this terrifying stuff.
But then it starts to turn into something else. I mean it’s all so dramatic! We end up glued to the drama of it all. We get angry. We debate. We give it far too much of our precious energy.
We shift out of “talking about it to process our feelings and figure out how to be a force for good in the world” and into “giving our power away to it”.
We can only ever be focused in one direction.
Of course, I vote that we all remain focused on our dreams. Because I trust our dreams to lead us to where we need to be.
But, because it feels like collectively there’s been this shift towards focusing on the drama of everything that is unfolding around the world, it’s like it’s become harder than ever to focus on our dreams.
BUT at the same time, there are new possibilities opening up right now like never before.
We are being called like never before.
There is universal support for our dreams pouring in like never before.
The world needs our dreams more than it ever has.
And here we are, collectively sticking our heads in the sand.
I mean that’s how it feels every time I look on Facebook.
WHICH MAKES TOTAL SENSE.
We’re being called like never before. Collectively our dreams are growing, becoming more clear. This is always scary because answering that call and making that commitment to your dream means you have to deal with whatever it is that is keeping you from being more committed to your dream right now.
Fear of failure.
Fear of success.
Fear of change.
Fear that you are not good enough to pull it off.
OF COURSE we’d rather do anything other than face this shit. I get it!
And I’m not offering some kind of magic wand that you can wave and suddenly you’ve got your dream via instant manifestation. I’m inviting you into the deep work of healing, transformation and growing towards your full potential and purpose – this is a complete 180 from the collective energy that is there on Facebook right now.
So – how do I show up?
I’m know here to help support creative people through this shift that the world is asking of us right now.
Maybe Facebook is no longer the place for me to show up.
Oh HA! Maybe I just wrote all of this to come to that conclusion. Because when I say “I don’t know how to show up lately” actually I DO know how I want to show up in my Creative Dream Circle where I write a new post every day, I do know how I want to show up in email for the people who signed up for the free Your Dream Is Waiting For You To Come True class, I do know how I want to show up on Instagram and Pinterest.
It’s just Facebook where I feel lost and like I can’t fit in.
And leaving Facebook feels kind of scary because that’s where everyone is. As an online business owner don’t I have to be where the people are?
I mean – no. No I don’t. I can look at the analytics on my website and see that VERY few people come to my site from Facebook. Google and Pinterest is where I need to be so people can find me.
So do I have my answer?
Now I’m wishing I hadn’t written this out in a blog post because it turned into personal journaling and this is no longer a thing I want to share.
Because I don’t know that I am ready to actually DO this. I just know it looks like a good idea.
But! Oh! OH! THAT is an energy pattern that kills dreams and it’s one of the things about Facebook that isn’t working for me. A culture of people shying away from sharing their real wishes because it all feels too vulnerable.
There is so much power in those vulnerable wishes!
So. This is my vulnerable wish. To just leave Facebook. And focus on showing up online in ways that feel nourishing.
I mean I don’t know that I will DO it.
But I am going to put my wish out there (yikes that feels scary!) and just sit with it for now – see where it leads me. I do wonder if it will lead me to think of a whole new way to be on Facebook, something I can’t see right now.
And I think I’ll be back here soon with an update about this…
I’ve spent all of this year re-visioning and re-structuring my work. (I wrote more about this here)
As a part of this, I am increasing the price of the Creative Dream Circle.
I am not going to do a big sales pitch to try to pressure you to sign up before the price increase. I believe the new price reflects the value of the changes I am making and will continue to make into 2019.
I just want to give you lots of notice, in case you’ve been thinking of joining.
I know it’s summer for most of us, and in the summer a lot of us are online less less (YAY!) so waiting until the end of summer for this to take place feels best.
The price increase is happening on Friday, September 21.
The price will go from $199 US/year to $363 US/year. There are two ways to sign up:
- Sign up for just one year so you pay $199 and get one year’s membership and then it’s done – you could come back later, but it would be at the current price at that time. Or you could switch to the monthly option for alumni, see below.
- Sign up for a subscription – which would mean you pay $199 pear year, every year for as long as you want to stay a member – you cancel whenever you like.
The price of Project Miracle will remain at $99 US. – and after you’ve done Project Miracle you can still apply that $99 towards an annual membership.
New monthly membership option:
This is for Project Miracle and Creative Dream Circle alumni only to get the Creative Dream Circle month-by-month at $33/month – with no commitment beyond one month, you can cancel any time.
I love the work we’re doing in the Creative Dream Circle and would love to have you be a part of our group.
I’m seeing creative people everywhere on my social media feeds is feeling called towards some kind of shift. There’s a lot of discomfort around that sense of being pushed into something that may be bigger than what you feel ready for.
The call is an invitation and the universe is sending a LOT of them right now.
We’re in a transition and your creative gifts are needed to help us all move through the shift.
YES it’s SCARY when you’re called in this way because your fears and limiting beliefs and inner critics will be triggered as a part of this process. But your discomfort has purpose. Dealing with the fear/limiting belief/inner critic/whatever is a part of what you are being called to do.
The inner work is the foundational work. We all want to focus on the other parts of the creative process, but without a sturdy foundation your dreams will always be sand castles that can be taken out by a big wave.
Right now the world needs you to build your dreams in a sturdier way, with a deep and solid foundation.
I received the call about a year ago to take my work deeper and I answered it as wholeheartedly as I was able to.
I re-structured my work in the Circle Dream Circle, I created a whole new framework for the Inner Work, Dream Work and Outer Work of making dreams come true in sturdier and stronger ways and am now working on a new curriculum of programs, like the new Project Miracle, that help you go deeper than ever into your own process.
I’m here to help support creative people through this shift.
I have a free class that is life-changingly helpful, that explains this new framework for working with dreams.
After you’ve done the free class, Project Miracle is a 30 day program in going deeper into your own magic, calling in the shift you need in order to answer the call.
And I offer ongoing in-depth support in my Creative Dream Circle.
Wishing you the magic of answering the call,