It feels like there is so much happening INSIDE that there is no space for anything to happen on the OUTSIDE.
I did a Dream Meeting and got this:
My dream is a chrysalis in a ball of light.
I spelled chrysalis wrong and I just want to say - spelling and grammar are COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT in journaling. Trying to follow those kinds of external rules can pull you out of listening to your inner voice, you just need to understand what you wrote, it doesn't need to win a spelling competition.
It feels beautiful and hopeful and SO FUCKING VAGUE.
I want more clarity but it's just not here.
Trying to accept both the frustration for more clarity and the fact that now is not the time for clarity.
Exploring your Post-Pandemic self is tomorrow!
This is for Dream Book members only - get the call details here.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with. Or go to the Structure Habits Routines class (it's staying there so you can go through the prompts in your own time)
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab which is what I am using for my dream meeting drawings.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
I'm trying to think of a delicate way to say this but maybe it just needs to be said awkwardly:
We're too judgy!!!
We have a really fucked up "standard" for how we think things, and people, should be.
This is wayyyyy worse in the holistic wellness/new age/life your best life communities than it is elsewhere, but it's everywhere.
Positive is better than negative.
Confidence is better than doubt.
Healthy is better than sick or disabled.
High energy is better than tired.
WE NEED TO GIVE OURSELVES THE GRACE OF HAVING OUR FULL AND ACTUAL HUMAN EXPERIENCE.
Pushing yourself to always be positive and productive can lead to greater success in capitalism but allowing yourself to BE who you ARE helps you have WHOLENESS.
It gives your magic.
And yes - I'm talking about how we apply these things to ourselves but of course this is a mirror for the culture we live in and the ways that people who don't or can't conform are treated.
There is magic in allowing the diversity of human experience.
Out in the world - it would actually change everything if we valued ALL people equally, and made space for ALL ideas. A world that works for everyone!
Inside ourselves - it would actually change everything if we valued ALL of our thoughts and feelings, and made space to feel and acknowledge them because that would totally change the ideas we'd have about how to navigate our path.
I see it all the time in Dream Book. We start with an uncomfortable feeling, and it's like "no this isn't how I want to feel, this isn't how I want things to be" but by being with that feeling and allowing our actual experience, we see a totally new way to proceed.
And it feels like magic every time but I think that's just because our culture is TRASH so we've become accustomed to TRASH.
It's not magic - it's how being alive actually is when we allow all aspects of ourselves.
This shoving feelings down, denying our desires, trying to conform to capitalist, colonialist, white supremacist culture - that's not healthy for anyone.
This is sparked from our Co-Dreaming call yesterday about How EASY can it be?
About all the different responses:
- I could get support so that I can DO THE THING!!
- I could rest.
- I could make more space for my feelings.
- I could trust what's already here rather than look at how to create more...
And how beautiful it was to be in a space where everyone's ideas were given space. We weren't looking for THE ONE RIGHT WAY for everyone to make things easier. We were making space for our own truth, sharing our truth, and being inspired and encouraged by each other.
I noticed how the vibe is soooo different from a lot of the Wellness/New Age/Live Your Best Life communities where this is this PRESSURE to find and do THE RIGHT THINGS.
Where you get judged, usually in subtle ways but not always, for "being negative" or being poor or disabled or fat or sick.
Where the idea is that you're doing it wrong if you're not manifesting a life that looks like what dominant culture says your life should look like: productive, successful, organized, cheerful.
I feel sorry for the people who are still in all of that.
And I feel so grateful for everyone who is doing this work with me.
If you didn't see it - watch yesterday's Co-Dreaming call here.
Exploring your Post-Pandemic self is Thursday!
A deep dive into exploring what's changed and what wants to change now.
This is for Dream Book members only - get the call details here.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with. Or go to the Structure Habits Routines class (it's staying there so you can go through the prompts in your own time)
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab which is what I am using for my dream meeting drawings.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
I'll be doing these live Co-Dreaming calls every Monday until Aug 28.
Watching these videos all summer WILL get you seeing, and feeling, your dreams in new ways.
The replays will all be here on my blog. If you want to attend live, register here to get the Zoom details.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!
I know doing the same prompts every week can it's annoying sometimes but I promise - this is magically clarifying. The repetition helps you go deeper into the process and makes it easier to LEARN from your process as you go, and the apply those learnings right away.
Here are the prompts:
PART ONE: (sometimes these can stay the same for months at time, sometimes they change often)
My dream is:
I want it because:
When I have it I will feel:
PART TWO:
Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
PART THREE:
My goal/wish/intention for this New Moon is:
Last week’s focus was:
What happened in the last week?
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
What do I need now?
What does my dream need now?
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
My Dream Status Report for this week:
PART ONE:
My dream is: I am re-doing all of this and still in the process of figuring it out. It feels SO VULNERABLE and WEIRD to not have any answers right now, but if we always know where we're going, we can't get anywhere new.
I want it because:
When I have it I will feel:
PART TWO: Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
I CAN still invite the soul of my dream in, even though I don't know the specifics of what the dream is right now - it feels like the wisest most expansive part of me that is always guiding me to what is true for me.
It shows up as a fairy godmother. With a puffy skirt, sparkly wand and tiara.
She gives me a big hug and reminds me that she’s always on my side. She puts her hand on my heart to offer healing (I am not having the best morning)
She sets out a picnic in a park. She’s like “hey there’s no rush, let’s have fun and enjoy the process”
PART THREE:
Last week’s focus was: DELIGHT and STRUCTURE - how to I structure my life and work so that DELIGHT is the main vibe?
What happened in the last week?
I did start to implement the things I learned about what kind of structure, routines and habits I need now. This does feel delightful!
But also - so many things happened that I don't understand yet.
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
After so many years (at least 8) of doing these prompts every week, I just realized that I almost always have ANSWERS to these prompts. But this week I don't have a lot of answers.
I feel very much in process.
And, maybe this is what's new - I am not trying to direct the process. Like, there is being 100% in the flow and "whatever happens, happens", and then there is being 100% the creative director of your life and being VERY intentional, and I think my set-point between the two is changing.
I want to be less intentional about the outcomes and the "hows"
And more intentional about enjoying the process.
It seems so small to write it like that, but it feels like a big inner shift that's mid-shift and I can't understand it yet.
What do I need now? I have no idea!
But the new table I ordered arrived today, and it took me most of the afternoon to put it together (with breaks).
So now my room has this new table, plus the old table, plus packing materials everywhere. Sometimes a dream lands in our life and makes a huge mess!
(My plan was to keep the old table up here, but move the book shelf (about the size of a large table) downstairs, but now that it's here I might keep all there? I don't know. I just know I'm not doing anything else with it today)
What does my dream need now?
For me to stay in this place, of not knowing and not trying-to-know-right-away.
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
Stay in the process.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Yesterday I sat with what felt like heavy resistance, and just took one tiny step at a time, and got the first few pages of a brand new Dream Book set up.
I didn’t actually do that much, but it felt like a lot because of all of the resistance I had.
And - I didn’t actually do that much, but today when I sat down to my creative dream practice - I had a whole new Dream Book to play in!
I had a container to explore my new dreams!!
Which is vital because exploring new dreams is nebulous and vulnerable and awkward so it’s soooo easy for resistance to creep in and then take over.
So today I opened up my brand new container. And it felt empty but I had cut + pasted enough of the Dream Book printables that I had places to start. I had prompts and processes to work with and….
I saw the thing I’d been dancing around in my journaling and meditation for the last few weeks.
I have been in a shift from:
“I want to create my life as this amazing thing, to have my outer life reflect what I feel in my inner life - reflect my values and preferences.”
To
"Life IS this amazing thing! I just want to enjoy it”
Which doesn’t mean I think one of these approaches is better than the other one. And it doesn’t mean I think this is a permanent shift! We are alive and growing and so are our dreams, always.
I’m just noticing a shift in my own preference, a shift in what I feel called towards right now.
And I’d been feeling that shift for a while but only saw parts of it, like I know I want something to change but I don’t know what. And now I know what.
It can be so uncomfortable to sit with our dreams, to keep practicing creative dreaming, in the times when we don’t know exactly what our dreams are. It brings up so many uncomfortable feelings that we want to give up.
But we can’t find our way through by not showing up for the journey, you know?
I had so much fun this morning, journaling and exploring in my Dream Book. I have been journaling lately, but this morning it's like I was REALLY journaling, fully in it.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with. Or go to the Structure Habits Routines class (it's staying there so you can go through the prompts in your own time)
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab which is what I am using for my dream meeting drawings.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
I’m starting over with Dream Book. Fresh new book. Re-doing all the pages.
I’ve always wished I could combine my planner with my Dream Book but that felt complicated… but during the Structure Habits Routines prompts I saw a way to do that. At least for the next 5 month until the end of the year, I can experiment with this.
THIS FEELS SO DAUNTING.
To re-start. To really sit with…. what do I want? Why do I want it? How will I feel when I have it?
I know these are the questions I sit with every week in the Dream Status Reports, but it feels different to start over and answer them FRESH, not working from what I already have figured out,
My dream is being the writer + artist I want to be.
(Of course I already am this. And of course there are still so many ways I want to do this.)
The heart of this doesn’t change, but some of the specifics of what this looks and feels like for me are changing. I do need a new Dream Page for this.
And, even though I have been doing this work so for long, it still feels sooooo vulnerable.
Like, I can’t believe all the ways my mind is trying to run from this.
So, let’s explore the resistance then.
Hey resistance, can we talk!
Sure! I mean no. Let’s go to the store and get milk and make coffee.
Well, yeah I want to do that but I also really want to do this!! It feels like you are putting this off to go to that.
No I’m not. We’re sleepy! Some fresh air and coffee would really hit the spot!!!
OK, if I agree to go that, when we get back, you agree to work with me and start the new Dream Book?
Ugh. Well…. yeah ok.
*
*
OK I am back. With coffee.
That little bit of fresh air and 1 cup of coffee have not magically transformed into a person who feels ready to do this.
But I am showing up. But before I can start the Dream Book I need to set up the actual book...
First - the paper. I have this ultra heavy weight paper I used for my planner. I have to remember where I put that when I re-arranged my space….
Found it. Or rather, found ONE SHEET of it, with my other printer paper. Did I use it all? Put it in a special place?
NOT LETTING THIS STOP ME, going ahead with regular printer paper…
Hole punched… (I use the happy planner punch which can only punch a few sheets at a time, so this is a bit of an effort) (My planner is disc bound, so I can move and add pages very easily though, once properly punched)
Removing the first 6 months of this year from my planner…
Arrrgh it all comes to a screeching halt.
Looking back through my planner there are so many pages I love! I want to take pics! I want to save this! I always add my planners to my stack of finished journals, I don’t want to rip this year apart.
WOW. OK. I did not anticipate this.
But actually there is room to add a bunch of pages, and if I run out of space in a few months I’ll figure that out then. I could always switch out the discs for bigger ones.
Added the new blank pages to the front of the planner….
Well holy fuck!!! Here is the rest of the heavy paper I was looking for!!!! I had already hole punched in and put it in here to use for journaling.
I ALREADY HAD EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED.
I HAD IT THE WHOLE TIME.
I want to laugh and cry.
Adding my thinner paper to the thick paper at the front of my planner…
I made 2 quick messy tabs - a rectangle of cardstock folded over, glued on, with “dream book” on one and “planner” on the other. Making nice tabs would be a fun creative project, but not today! It doesn’t have to be pretty! Let’s just do this!
Now I’m in the Dream Book classroom, going through the main checklist. Printing out the Dream Page, Dream Self Page (which includes the Project page) and Un-Sticking Station Page cutouts.
There is a printable for the Table of Contents, but I like to make my own.
Whew!!!! I DID IT.
I mean I haven’t done anything in my Dream Book yet, but I got ready to do it! So many little steps and so far my resistance hasn’t gotten in the way.
It’s just happily sipping coffee, watching me take all these steps.
Sitting here, holding this dream book/planner hybrid in my hands. Tons of blank paper to re-start everything about my Dream Book, the cutouts to get me started, my scissors and glue stick nearby, this feels amazing.
One more thing - the Year of Dreams 2023 planner had 1 page at the beginning with an incubator to put your BIGGEST dream for 2023 in it. I had put my income goal. This is no longer my biggest dream, or a dream at all, so I tore it up which was very satisfying.
AND making it in the first place, claiming the income I want for the year, that felt satisfying at the time too.
Nothing we do in this work has to stay true/relevant FOREVER.
We are alive! We get to grow and our priorities will enviably change as we do.
(There is this video on starting a new journal in Dream Book - when you have pages you are still working with in the old journal. What I'm doing now is re-starting completely, taking nothing with me for a fresh start. I've never done it this way before, but right now I am really feeling like I need a fresh start with everything.)
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with. Or go to the Structure Habits Routines class (it's staying there so you can go through the prompts in your own time)
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab which is what I am using for my dream meeting drawings.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
Last week we did Structure Routines Habits. It feels like such a whirlwind!
It was just a few questions each day to explore this from different angles, but it feels like a lot got stirred up and I’m not quite sure where I am with it all.
I mean I have a lot of VERY GOOD IDEAS for things to do, and more clarity than every about what I want this to look like, and I even tapped into the feeling of how I want to feel in these routines and habits and how supportive the structure will feel.
AND
Here I am. Waking up foggy. Like I am still my old self, but I see the path to my new self but I’m like… can I trust it? Do I want to just take a nap instead? Do I really want this?
There is such a sense of SAFETY and COMFORT to be found in hiding in old routines.
Even after we outgrown them! Even when we KNOW we want the new routines.
So....
How do I bring this safety and comfort with me into the new things I want to be doing?
That’s the question to sit with today.
My new routine/habit ideas don’t feel unsafe in any way, it’s just… that “BUT THIS IS ALL NEW” feeling that feels unsafe.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with. Or go to the Structure Habits Routines class (it's staying there so you can go through the prompts in your own time)
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab which is what I am using for my dream meeting drawings.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
I'll be doing these live Co-Dreaming calls every Monday until Aug 28.
Watching these videos all summer WILL get you seeing, and feeling, your dreams in new ways.
The replays will all be on my blog. If you want to attend live, register here to get the Zoom details.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.
On Fridays I do my Dream Status Report which is a series of prompts I use every week to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path. You can do them with me (Dream Book members: come post yours in the forum!)!
Over the year I've gotten a lot of push-back from people who don't want to do the same prompts every week. I know it's annoying somethings but I promise - this is magically clarifying. The repetition helps you go deeper into the process.
Here are the prompts:
PART ONE: (sometimes these can stay the same for months at time, sometimes they change often)
My dream is:
I want it because:
When I have it I will feel:
PART TWO:
Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
PART THREE:
My goal/wish/intention for this New Moon is:
Last week’s focus was:
What happened in the last week?
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
What do I need now?
What does my dream need now?
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
My Dream Status Report for this week:
PART ONE:
My dream is: BEING the artist + writer I want to be and everything this entails. Having a less dramatic creative process (like less battling self doubt and more happily humming to myself while I write and draw). Doing more creative projects for fun - like having short bits of creative play mixed into my days more often. And how I feel in my life in perimenopuase and beyond.
I want it because: This is what feels most enticing and interesting to me. I'm also noticing how BEING who I feel I AM is important for my mental health. I feel so strongly - a better world is possible and our dreams show us the way there.
When I have it I will feel: Just a little more ME, more energized. More stable/sturdy. Excited about the new work I am doing.
My new moon intention: OK this is embarrassing, I don’t remember!! I don’t have the journal that I was using with me right now. This is good modelling that we don’t have to do this “perfectly” lol
PART TWO: Invite your dream in (using the Dream Lab practice) to help you with the rest of the prompts.
My dream shows up as a lantern, and when I look close there is no flame inside, there is a butterfly of light.
I see the 27 year old (!!) butterfly tattoo on my wrist and think about how long butterflies have been around me.
I sit down, the light of the lantern isn’t just light, it’s also healing and magic.
My dream says “I am guiding you, it’s ok you don’t have to know where we are going” which feels like a relief.
PART THREE:
Last week’s focus was: Explore structure - so excited we’re going to do this as a group in the forum next week. USE THE PLANNER.
What happened in the last week?
I GOT MY GROOVE BACK LIKE ALL THE WAY BACK.
NOT back to my post-pandemic ways of working and creating but really stepping into who and how I want to be now. I feel so good!
What am I learning/How do I feel about this?
Structure is everything - not having MORE structure but having right-fit structure. Not structure to make me more productive or have my shit together (which, I think, is how I usually approached it in the past without even knowing I was doing that)
I feel SUPPORTED and NURTURED. I am doing the things I want to do and feeling like there is space for me to hold everything. Like, I don’t have less going on but I do feel less overwhelmed.
What do I need now? KEEP GOING this week was a big shift in things I’ve been working on for a long time, I am not grounded in this at all yet, so stay focused on this.
What does my dream need now?
The butterfly bats it wings. It wants to DELIGHT. It’s easier for it to DELIGHT when I feel DELIGHTED.
Taking all of this into account, my focus for the next week is:
DELIGHT and STRUCTURE - how to I structure my life and work so that DELIGHT is the main vibe?
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
My plan this week was to draw my dream meetings every day. This is a practice I really want to get into. It feels soothing and restorative to do but also expansive and growth-inducing, as I continue to do it over time. I do go in and out of doing this as a regular practice…
After feeling so much enthusiasm for getting into this ALL WEEK this week, here I am on Wednesday not feeling it.
One thing about a creative dream practice that makes it so difficult to navigate, is that we do need to listen to our inner nudges.
I mean - is this resistance? Do I need to just follow through and do the thing and I will I be glad if I do that? Or is this information, telling me that there is somewhere else to focus, something else that I need?
With time, we get better at knowing the difference between resistance and an intuitive-guided change of direction. For me it’s how it FEELS in my body.
And this feels right.
Like this is a day for writing, for processing. This is what I need right now. The dream meeting drawing practice moves me into a different space.
Things are changing so fast. It feels like it anyway, after moving at a glacial speed for so long.
I am picking up the pieces of all the things that fell apart in the pandemic - specifically as they relate to my routines, habits and systems around my work life.
I am shifting from “I am just doing the best I can do keep going while the ground beneath me feels unstable” to “Oh wow there is so much magic and medicine in this unstable place what if I explore this?” to “OK this is who and how I want to be now, moving forward”.
I am gathering up the gifts and learnings and I know what I want to do with them and I even feel like I know how I want to do this.
This week we are exploring structure, habits + routines in Dream Book and I am LOVING IT.
I am seeing the places where I always approached this as a tool for productivity and, underneath that, fuelled by a desire to prove worthiness.
I am delighting in how those places don’t fit anymore.
As much as I am SO HAPPY on the days when I get more pages done for the guided journal I am hand writing/drawing… I love watching this project come to life but it’s not the productivity that matters to me now. I am not looking for the way to do this as fast as possible.
I am not doing all the creative self care practices in order to wring out every bit of creativity and productivity from myself.
I want structure to help me feel how I want to feel. Free. Expansive. Delighted.
I want structure as in SUPPORT. Ways that make it easier to be nourished - physically, emotionally, mentally, creatively, spiritually.
I want structure that makes it easier. Like the example I always use for containers and Dream Book… if you have a ton of sugar, flour, etc. just loose in your kitchen that’s just a mess, you can’t do anything with it. But if you have them in containers you can use them to make a fantastic treat.
And I am finding my way into these structures and routines! I am noticing what I need and finding ways to incorporate those things.
I am giving myself space for this to take the time it takes.
But/and/also it’s like each little new thing I find adds SO MUCH. They don’t add up, there is multiplication of magic happening with each new element being added.
Dream Book members:
Come to the forum to share your thoughts or start a conversation about whatever you're working with. Or go to the Structure Habits Routines class.
Get your next Dream Book lesson.
Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab which is what I am using for my dream meeting drawings.
Check out the calendar of upcoming calls.
Note: This is a post about my daily practice with my Creative Dreams - in these posts I often link to the tools, courses and processes I use which are only available to Dream Book members. If you're not a member, find out more + join us here.