Creative Entrepreneur

[LIVE] Monday Morning Creative Genius Planning Session

On Oct 26, we're going to explore DISTRACTIONS and how to keep your creative projects and emotional wellbeing practices going in hard times.

This is certainly on my mind right now.

It will be magic. See you there.

If you can't make it live, the replay will be here when we're done (you don't need an Instagram account to watch the replay)

I LOVED our Creative Genius Intuitive Planning LIVE on Instagram last Monday.

If you missed it, you can watch it here.

I'm going to keep doing them on Mondays at 10 am (Central, North America)

I'll be doing this live on Instagram - right here.

(If you need help attending an Instagram live - check out the Instagram Help Guide right here.)

It's about making some space to meet yourself where you are...

We're all processing A LOT right now, so we NEED SPACE to be able to really be with what's going on with us.

We all need more space for processing our feelings and reactions to everything that is happening in the world, which is an important part of Creative Genius Planning because it clears the channels so you can hear your inner wisdom more clearly.

It's a practice to help get out of auto-pilot and get into a deeper connection with your inner wisdom.

And then move towards where you want to be.

Once you are more connected to your inner truth, moving towards more joy and hope and opportunity and creativity tends to be the result.

We're not FORCING ourselves to "make it happen" or get to work - we're creating space our natural genius to flourish. We're playing with possibility.

I don't have one set way of doing this. It will be a little different every week.

As I said, for Oct 26, we're going to explore DISTRACTIONS and how to keep your creative projects and emotional wellbeing practices going in hard times.

It will be magic. See you there.

If you can't make it live, the replay will be here when we're done (you don't need an Instagram account to watch the replay)

[LIVE] Monday Morning Creative Genius Planning Session

Live Monday Morning Creative Genius Planning Sessions

Creative Genius Intuitive Planning LIVE on Instagram.

This happens Mondays at 10 am (Central, North America)

I'll be doing this live on Instagram - right here.

(If you need help attending an Instagram live - check out the Instagram Help Guide right here.)

Use this time zone translator to make sure you've got the right time where you are - it's already got my time entered in, so you just have to select your time zone to see what time this is for you.

The first on happened on Oct 19, watch it here.

Creative Genius Planning:

This means planning from your creative genius instead of from your head, which is where we tend to plan from.

Planning from your head looks like:

  • making logical to-do lists
  • pushing yourself to do the things you think you "should do" or "need to do" to reach your goals
  • not noticing where your unconscious limiting beliefs are getting into the driver's seat to sabotage your success

Planning from your creative genius looks like:

  • letting your intuition lead, especially when it gets weird
  • creating space for growth, healing, and magic-ing your way to where you want to be
  • planning from a deep alignment with your inner wisdom, power and creativity

I love my Monday morning Creative Genius Planning Sessions and can't wait to share it with you.

See you there.

19 ways to make space for your next big thing

19 ways to make space for your next big thing

Here are 19 ways you can make space for your next big thing, right now:

  1. Look at what you can delegate - either tasks in your business or cleaning your house or getting groceries delivered instead of shopping, there are lots of things you do that other people can do instead!
  2. Get up 1/2 hour earlier to work on it a little each day (it's a cliche because it works - though I would add to also go to bed 1/2 hour earlier because sleep is important)
  3. Meditate on it ✨every day✨
  4. Let go of the things you're doing that aren't fulfilling anymore (yes even if other people expect you to keep doing them - your dreams thrive with strong boundaries!)
  5. Book a creative retreat - just go somewhere where your only thing to focus on is this new thing you want to be doing
  6. Do Dream Book! Within the first month you'll see all sorts of new possibilities for how to do your thing
  7. Take a social media break, or severely limit your social media time
  8. Block off a week in your calendar where you just don't book anything. Of course you'll still have other things to do, but you'll have quite a bit of time in this week for your new project
  9. Work on it during your lunch break
  10. Let your house get messy
  11. Get take-out or pre-made meals at the grocery store
  12. My favourite is to go out for coffee on Saturday mornings to work on dream projects
  13. Be really honest about how you are spending your time and look for things you can temporarily give up to make space for your new project
  14. Exercise every day. It gives you more energy
  15. Stop watching Netflix/tv
  16. Cancel all of your social plans for 1 month
  17. Make a list of everything you can put off to make space to do this thing now
  18. Get together with some friends for an afternoon where you all work on your projects together
  19. Consider the idea that "I don't have time for this" is actually a lie

 

MAKING SPACE is a part of the process of making the thing happen.

No one just magically has all the time and space they need to do what they want to do.

You've done it before and you'll do it again.

When it FEELS impossible to make space, that means something else that's in the way.

Staying in this story that you "just don't have time" keeps you from the truth: That this new thing is terrifying.

How much would it hurt to give this thing everything you've got, and still fail?

THIS is what makes it hard to make space for a new thing.

It takes an INCREDIBLE amount of trust in yourself, and COURAGE, to wholeheartedly pursue your creative ideas.

So this is actually THE BEST WAY to make space for your next big thing:

Have a consistent practice for:

  • listening to your intuition (it knows exactly how you can make space for this new thing)
  • cultivating the courage to act on your intuition
  • calming your fear and self doubt
  • transforming your patterns of holding back
  • connecting with who are becoming as you do this new thing (every creative project and dream your pursue GROWS YOU)
  • accessing your inner POWER to take brave steps and make things happen for yourself

I do this work every day in Dream Book  and would love for you to join me there.

Dream Book: I am becoming who I want meant to be

You are infinitely wise, brave, creative and powerful.

You already have everything you need for your next big thing.

Let's do this.

Journal Prompts for when you have too many ideas and can’t pick which one to focus on

Journal Prompts for when you have too many ideas and can’t pick which one to focus on

Having more ideas than you know what to do with is a natural part of being creative.

You're a creative genius and your mind doesn't stop. That's good.

But you can't let your abundance of ideas overwhelm you. I know it's easy to be kind of frozen now knowing what to do next, but all movement is good, so you need to get yourself out of that frozen place as quickly as possible.

(I can absolutely help you with that in Dream Book - within the first month alone you'll be seeing your projects, dreams and your possibilities much differently)

This place where you're trying to pick which idea to go with is RIPE with opportunities for your inner critics and limiting beliefs to just take over. So it's important to not stay in this place very long!

These journal prompts will help you get moving sooner.

It's usually not all that important WHICH idea you choose, just that you CHOOSE something and get moving with it.

But we all hesitate and second guess.

Your journal is such a good tool for this, to give you some space to dig deeper, maybe get some insights around WHY you're hesitating and second guessing this particular project, and help you get more clear about what to do next.

Journal prompts for when you have too many ideas and don't know which one to focus on:

Start by writing down ALL of the ideas - get them together on one page.

Then let’s play with ranking them!

Which one would be the MOST fun?

Which one would be the LEAST fun?

Which would be the EASIEST to do?

Which would be FASTEST to get done?

Which would take the most time?

Which would be the most difficult to actually pull off?

What's THE MOST inspiring idea?

Do any of the ideas feel kind of blah or heavy to think about?

Which one will help you reach your goals?

Which one has the biggest potential payoff?

Which one feels the most impossible?

You don't have to answer each of the prompts. It's more important to follow the rabbit-holes.

The point is to explore your ideas from different perspectives.

And while you do this...

👉🏻 What fears or limiting beliefs makes themselves known and what does this tell you about the inner work you need to focus on at this time?

This is the real thing to explore here.

I do have a this set of journal prompts for overcoming fear if you want to explore those.

You DO know what to do next. You just need to make space to HEAR your inner voice more clearly.

This is one of the themes of the Your Next Steps Class (my free class that helps you be more CLEAR and SURE about your next steps - register here if you're not already taking it!)

You already have the answers.

You already have everything you need to move forward.

But you need PRACTICES that help you connect with your inner wisdom and clear all the bullshit away so you can access all of this good stuff.

And you need to be doing the practices every day. They are every bit as important as the outer steps you are taking with your projects. This is the work that keeps your creative engine clean and running well.

I do this work every day in Dream Book and would love for you to join me there.

Receiving the miracle

It's that disorienting time of the year when I am starting to wake up before the sun.

This morning I lay in bed in the dark, with my husband's arm around me and my arm around our cat Bear, just feeling so grateful to feel clear-headed, inspired, and happy.

I felt.... S P A C I O U S.

Spacious is my holy grail of inner states.

For most of 2020, I have NOT had space for everything, so waking up feeling spacious was a real miracle this morning.

Thirty days ago, I started Project Miracle.

This is a 30 day meditation + journaling program designed to generate a breakthrough/miracle. (You can try Day 1 for free here!)

I had a very specific miracle that I wanted to call in, and I've been feeling like I did get a LOT out of the last 30 days, but I didn't get what I wanted.

Today I re-read my journaling from 30 days ago, I looked at what I wanted and realized - it was already here.

It doesn't quite feel how I thought it would, but it's here.

I was working with two main things in Project Miracle:

  • figuring out my work/home situation - I was dreaming of getting a new place to live and using the Dream Loft as my work space
  • figuring out my next steps in my business - my marketing has felt "off" for some time, like the public part of my business and the things I offer for free are not matching the big magic of Dream Book and need to be updated but I didn't know HOW and figuring it out felt completely overwhelming

And now:

  • I feel *at home* in my home in a whole new way. I decided not to move, and am more grateful than ever for all of the gifts of working from home. We got new furniture, re-arranged everything, and I LOVE IT.
  • I know what to do next in my business. In fact I HAVE ALREADY RECORDED + EDITED a whole new free course! I see why my marketing felt off and know what to do about it.

But the bigger thing is that I discover what it is I REALLY need, which was hiding underneath the things I thought I wanted.

Yesterday I started to see it and then today I got this prompt in my Dream Book kit and I knew:

journal prompt: the habits I have that make it harder for me to live my magic:

My habits and routines need a re-set.

I did journal about this yesterday already, but today I got the next piece.

It's ME.

This thing I am looking for, this thing I wish was different. It's ME.

While yesterday I was focused on what kinds of routines + habits I want to create for the fall/winter, today I see I need to look at the habits and routines I need to QUIT.

One foot on the gas, one foot on the brakes

On having one foot on the gas and one foot on the brakes

This is how I've always been with my business dreams.

YES I DO want to move forward.

YES I DO have a LOT of ambivalence.

You can have ambivalence and doubt and fear AND ALSO pursue your dreams wholeheartedly.

I don't think dreams should be reserved for people who have no doubts.

I'm highly sensitive and insecure and struggle when my work doesn't live up to what I thought it would be, when I saw it in my head. This also describes most creatives.

I've never aimed to eliminate ALL ambivalence. I'm sure there are lots of life coaches and internet gurus who want to help me do that, but I don't see that as a healthy goal.

I prefer to allow myself to FEEL HOW I FEEL while also PURSUING WHAT I WANT TO PURSUE.

Still. This one foot on the gas and one foot on the brakes thing is ANNOYING.

I go full gas sometimes, determined to keep my foot on the gas - only to have the other foot hit the brake so gently that I don't even notice our momentum slowing down.

Then when I do notice we're almost stopped. And I'm SUPER ANNOYED with myself for doing this AGAIN.

Also, I do teach people how to transform patterns and I'm actually really good at it so why haven't I transformed this one?

Because I know that brakes = a deep sense of safety.

And putting my foot on the gas tends to be exhilarating, exciting, and scary. At some point, scary starts to take over. At that point, it's REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD to have an effective way to bring in a sense of safety.

So I know WHY I do it. Knowing that is NOT enough to change it.

The thing I usually do to try to change this is actually the thing you should never do.

And I know this isn't how to change a pattern, but I always think that *this time will be the one exception*

And so I decide: this time I'll just keep my foot on the gas. And I won't put my other foot on the brake. No matter what. Just for 30 days. Just to get over this particular bump on the path.

But we can't strong-arm ourselves into new ways of being.

And one-foot-on-the-gas-one-foot-on-the-brakes is a VERY established way of being for me, so I can't even imagine how strong that arm would have to be for strong-arming to even begin to work as a strategy.

So it's never worked.

But we *this time will be the one exception* ourselves because the way to ACTUALLY change our patterns is so hard that we would rather do anything than do that.

What happens for me is that I have ENOUGH gas to get to where I want to be, so I am not all that disturbed by the other foot on the brakes slowing me down... for the most part.

But then sometimes, like today, I get to these places where I notice that I didn't fully follow through on my plans/ideas and I get really frustrated with myself.

And that frustration is driving the decision to say: OK I AM DOING IT AGAIN AND THIS TIME GAS ONLY FFS!!!!

All that is is a desire to get out of my feelings of frustration.

That's NOT an effective approach to changing patterns.

And so the result is: I temporarily get free of my feelings of frustration, but I am just setting myself up to repeat the whole thing.

Because "JUST DO IT BETTER NEXT TIME" it NOT a strategy.

I'm writing this from inside that place of frustration where I really want to just make myself do it better next time.

Instead, I'm writing this out.

I'm spending some time with my feelings.

I'm cutting myself some slack.

And I'm asking myself: are you ready/willing/able to do the ACTUAL work of changing this pattern?

What I DO feel ready to do is to take the "Just keep your foot on the gas and do better next time" option off the table completely. It doesn't work, it just sets me up to get frustrated later on.

Of course, since it's a knee-jerk reaction for me at this point, that means I'll have to work on staying aware of this and not falling back into the pattern, which means probably catching myself IN THE PATTERN and choosing to get out of it sooner.

And eventually get to a place where it's not an option for me anymore.

What I really want is to be more HONEST with myself about this.

The truth is, I will never be a person who keeps her foot on the gas all the time. And it feels liberating to write that in public.

What I do want is to be a person who has more control over the brakes though. Who doesn't auto-brake the second things feel scary.

Actually I want a new metaphor. Because I always want to brake for danger, and it's a much more subtle issue of determining what is actually dangerous and what just feels scary because it's new and dreams are terrifying.

I feel ready to switch into a new metaphor for momentum.

And the first step to doing that is to be more honest with myself about my feelings ALL THE WAY THROUGH the process.

So that's where I'm starting now.

I want to put myself out there in a new way. But I have been a million kinds of stuck about it.

This morning I poured my heart out into this blog post.

Then I re-read it right before I was going to hit publish - and instead I deleted the whole thing.

Now here I am trying to re-write it.

After a year ago, I got a LOT of attention/comments from people about my new look for the Creative Dream Incubator. The funny thing was, it wasn't a new look at all. I was just using art that I'd made for my journaling printables (which are a small part of Dream Book)and sharing it on social media.

That was just one of many things I was doing to experiment with how I want to put myself out there.

This is the part of my business that is the most challenging for me, and the place with the most opportunity for growth.

Dream Book changed things for me.

I made my first full e-course in 2010 - The Creative Dream Incubator e-Course. That course contained everything I learned during my four years of training become a spiritual counselor/healer/teacher.

I thought it was the final step for me in this work - and it is a truly life-changing course - but it was just the beginning.

Now, ten years later, I have created Dream Book which is a totally new way of holding space for navigating the space between where you are and where you want to be.

Dream Book has changed everything for me. And I want the way I show up in my business - my marketing - to reflect this.

It doesn't.

Yet.

A few weeks ago I had a LOT of stories + explanations for WHY I was stuck and how it wasn't my fault.

(Defensiveness is a form of being stuck that will keep you zooming around in circles inside your stuck 😉 )

The thing is, being stuck with this felt exceptionally painful.

But I know that ALL stucks around our dreams feel that way.

Because our dreams are leading us towards our True Self, who we are here to be, so being blocked from means you are being blocked from a vital part of your self.

That's going to hurt.

It was important for me to be with all of those feelings.

I felt shame that I haven't already done the things I want to do. I felt shame that the fact that I haven't done it yet could mean that I'll never do it.

I felt fear that everything could fall apart.

I felt like no one cares why bother?

I felt like eating cookies, watching Netflix and ignoring this whole thing.

Being with all of these feelings was an important part of the process. Not wallowing in them, but actually processing them - to turn them into compost for growth. (This is one of the things I teach in Dream Book)

If you don't do that work, the feelings will not go away. They'll go underground and you will continue to hold back on wholeheartedly going after your dreams.

This is the part that is amazing to me:

Once I'd worked through all of my emotional reactions, all of these impossible-feeling feelings - I came to a place of clarity and calm.

Suddenly it was all so simple. After feeling heartbreakingly and impossibly complicated for so long, it felt SIMPLE.

The truth is: Marketing is simple. We make it VERY complicated because of all of our stuff around: visibility, vulnerability, owning our gifts, having clear boundaries, actually HAVING the things we really want, self doubt, etc, etc, etc.

But it's simple.

Once you understand the basics it's just a matter of how you want to implement it. Marketing is actually VERY creative and fun and can be a source of healing and light, especially in a business like mine.

I want to be putting myself out there in a ✨NEW✨ way. I want to bring the full force of my creative magic to how I put myself out there.

Of course I don't know exactly HOW to do this!

There is no way to fully clearly see the way to do a thing I have never done before.

This is the nature of NEW!

You learn by DOING IT: giving it time + love + attention. You learn by EXPERIMENTING WITH YOUR IDEAS and learning from those experiments.

But when it comes to marketing your heart work, experimenting with your ideas can feel sooooo awkward and vulnerable and very, very, very public. Which is why I got so twisted up about.

But now, having worked through my feelings and brought healing and transformation to the parts of me who needed it, it's not twisted.

I have NEVER put as much energy into marketing my work as I have into DOING my work. I know every business guru says this is the wrong way to go.

The thing is, I've had people stay in the Creative Dream Circle for YEARS. I've had long-term one-on-one clients for YEARS.

So I don't need to keep finding new customers.

But now that I've had all the space I need to grow and evolve my work, now I want to grow and evolve my marketing.

It just feels important now that the Creative Dream Incubator be shining it's light more clearly.

It should be simple in that: it's just about giving marking more of my time attention. APPLYING the magic of my creativity to my marketing.

I have thousands of ideas for how I could do this.

I am starting now: experimenting, playing with my ideas, letting marketing have more of my TIME and ATTENTION.

 

As always, I'll share my daily steps, ups + downs and the practices I use as I do this in the daily miracle masterminds that are a part of Dream Book. I also teach you a way to journal that will turn your stucks into compost for your growth! Join us here.

I moved my business from Simplero to Access Ally

This summer has been a WHIRLWIND of activity behind the scenes at Creative Dream Headquarters. And now it's done! I've moved my whole business from Simplero to Access Ally, and Convert Kit.

This spring, I attended Rachel Rodgers’ Small Business Town Hall on creating equitable businesses (if you follow that link you can see the recording on that page - it's really good!)

I want to know what I can do to create more equality in the world, so I was REALLY happy about this town hall, which left me with a better understanding of what I can actually DO.

Long story short, my work after the Town Hall led me to discover that the owner of Simplero, who was the main supplier in my business (for hosting, automations, emails, my membership site + shopping cart), has taken a public and vocal stance against the dismantling of white supremacy.

This discovery was uncomfortable for me because of how HARD it is to move an online business like mine - like probably 3 months of work.

This led me to realize how often I had wanted to leave Simplero, and how trapped I felt by how hard it is to leave. The owner of Simplero has a long history of not following through on his promises, and many of those broken promises had negative repercussions on MY business - without an acknowledgement or apology.

I wrote all of these broken promises here, but then seeing them all in a list made me feel uncomfortable about sharing it in public. It felt gossipy and vindictive.

I will just say that when simply speaking the truth feels inflammatory you know you're not in a good situation.

So I left.

It took just over 2 months, and it was REALLY hard. It was also interesting to me that having this overwhelming all-consuming project actually helped take my mind off the state of the world, so that was an unexpected benefit. And this seemed like a good time to do it, since I am mostly quarantining at home anyway.

There were a lot of hurdles.

For example everyone I spoke to said it would be impossible to move the Creative Dream Circle the way it is (an active membership, with people receiving new content every week, and everyone in their own place in that content). I'd have to "end" the Circle and re-start it somewhere new. But Dream Book is an ONGOING course, I can't end it.

Finding the tech to support my vision was challenging. Most of the companies in this space are owned and run by men and have that same "tech bro vibe" that was frustrating me with Simplero.

Let me back up...

When I moved to Simplero in 2014, they had a totally different brand than what they have now. At that time they were marketing themselves as tools for spiritual entrepreneurs. They were talking about integrity in business, which I resonated with.

At that time, I WANTED to go with Access Ally. But it was out of reach both technology-wise and financially. Access Ally is a WordPress plug-in, so I would be putting it on MY website, so I would be responsible for security and functionality of the website. I just couldn't do that.

I chose to go with a third party option, a company that would host the classes themselves, and be responsible for that website. And I know that WAS the right choice at that time - a third party option is really good for a lot of online teachers and coaches!

The Dream comes to me

Access Ally HAD been out of reach but Simplero had re-structured their pricing plans (after promising to NEVER charge more for more contacts, or courses, or membership sites) and I was at the top tier, so at this point Access Ally is less expensive. And the internet has changed, I no longer feel comfortable on a regular shared hosting site for WordPress, so now I have premium secure hosting which means... Access Ally was no longer out of reach in any way.

Access Ally is a woman and minority owned business (VERY rare in this space) and they attended that same Town Hall are were also inspired and motivated by it.

And access Ally allows you to create a 100% customizable teaching website.

[It's AMAZING. And it's a HUGE GIGANTIC learning curve. Though they do have tons of tutorials and amazing support - it's not recommend to create a custom site on your own - here are a lot of Access Ally experts you can hire to help.]

I feels SO empowering to create my own platform for my work.

I got to do everything the way I wanted to do it!

100% customizable is so great... and so hard.

It means I did get to create every part of it just how I wanted to - but I had to CREATE every single thing, it wasn't already there for me.

The number of automations and moving parts to creating a functional online classroom is MIND BOGGLING. There were steep learning curves on steep learning curves.

I definitely overwhelmed my mind, which is already stressed from the current state of the world. I was getting vertigo and headaches almost every evening towards the end, my whole mind/body system was just over-taxed. (I had to give up coffee to keep them under control!) (I LOVE COFFEEEEEEE!)

(The headaches are gone now 🙌🏻 )

And then it was done.

I moved my people in late last week and set a whole day aside just for handing issues that may come up with the move... in this kind of project I don't know what I don't know, you know? But I had tested everything thoroughly. And Access Ally has AMAZING tutorials for every little thing.

And there were some hiccups of course. But on the whole everything went ok and we have an online home that FEELS LIKE HOME.

Access Ally needs a CRM for the automations, and I went with Convert Kit. The owner of Convert Kit was one of the presenters at that online town hall for equitable business which is where If found out about them. They are "tech bros" but they have outlined actions they are taking to be an anti-racist company and felt like the best option for me. They've also been helpful in getting my stuff moved over to them.

It was one of the Covert Kit people who showed me how to move everything WITHIN the active sequence - so making it possible to move my members to the new site without having them lose their place in Dream Book.

So yeah - that thing everyone said was impossible was completely possible - it did take just over 2 days, of just working on moving people, to move everyone, but I think that was 100% worth it.

Working with companies who are more in alignment with my values feels better.

I mean my new online classroom is WAY better. It's more flexible, more engaging and better looking.

The people who take care of the software CARE about the experience that my students have. And you can really see it in how the classroom works!

Simplero's values are more around supporting entrepreneurs in making more money. When there were issues with their classrooms, making it hard for my customers to engage - they didn't take those issues seriously because that's not where they are focused.

This experience showed me how important it is to understand MY values in a certain situation and then only work with people whose values match mine.

And I think I got better at spotting when people CLAIM to have a certain set of values but are actually acting from a different set of values.

I wish I had made this move sooner.

But I also know it all happened at just the perfect time.

A bad dream, over-working and searching for the light at the end of the tunnel

bad dreams, over-working and the light at the end of the tunnel

My latest update as I move my whole business and learn tons of things in the process.

I had a pretty trippy dream last night.

It had some traumatic elements and some really fun elements woven together in that weird dream way - like Simone Grace was the person letting people in to the Canadian Video Music Awards, and I recognized her but she didn’t recognize me, but she did let me in!

But the main theme of the dream was betrayal, like betrayals on top of betrayals. And that left me feeling pretty uncomfortable this morning - kind of raw and sad, without knowing why.

My first reaction to waking up feeling this way is “NO! I can’t! I have so much to do that really needs clear-headedness today!

But of course you can’t just “No I can’t!” your feelings away, not even dream-feelings. So I’m just sitting here, being with that feeling so I can process it and not have it interfere with my day.

First there is this rush to bullet-proof my life somehow to make sure I am never betrayed.

Then concern that I am being betrayed and I don’t know where and maybe this dream is trying to tell me something.

But the feelings starts to shift around and change when I come to: people are going to do what they’re going to do and I can’t control that, I actually trust myself to take care of myself whatever happens...

It’s the places where I betray MYSELF that are really brutal.

Then I feel a sense of forgiveness.

I’m realizing I have felt betrayed by the person who I was trusting with my online business operations. And that somewhere inside myself, I have blamed ME for making a wrong choice. Six years of 100% depending on them to keep everything operational… to then see that all the little red flags of course DO add up to something and they are NOT trustworthy.

But I’m not 100% sure I placed my trust in the wrong place, I believe I did the best I could with what I knew at the time AND this situation HAS taught me and next time I think I’ll see the truth sooner.

The act of taking my power back and taking control of this aspect of my business is… well not to be dramatic about it but it’s actually FLATTENING ME right now.

The volume of decisions to be made, the level of detail - my already-Covid-lessenened-mental-capacity is not up for this task.

At the same time, my creative self is THRILLED.

My dreams are THRILLED.

Yes, this is a rough patch where my dream is stretching me - but I've been in these places before and they always lead to something good. Like, this is how my dreams grow me, it’s always worked like this and by now I can trust the process.

So it’s kind of a weird place to be, of trusting the process AND being flattened by it at the same time.

The way I feel flattened right now - that’s similar to how the betrayal on betrayal felt in the dream.

Like I did betray myself to end up in this place?

Absolutely not.

I think that’s the toxic positivity+ love + light culture speaking.

That sense that if things are hard now that means I did something wrong. I wasn’t positive or loving enough so I am out of the flow. I am to blame. That’s bullshit but it’s so pervasive in our culture where we blame people for their hard knocks.

The thing is, this rough spot I’m in right now is GOOD. It’s the exact right place for me to be right now.

I’m being grown in the ways I need to grow to get to the next level.

This new online classroom I am creating is a HUGE “up levelling” for the Creative Dream Incubator. I get to create the VIBE and I am LOVING that.

And I get to decide how all of the behind-the-scenes stuff works in terms of how classes are delivered and accessed and this is REALLY cool because my classes are actually CONTAINERS FOR TRANSFORMATION so this way I get to set them up to be more flexible to support all the wild and wonderful and strange ways your transformation will occur.

I love that part.

It’s just that building more flexible systems is exponentially more work.

And I do want ME to be the one doing this work, building the container. Usually people hire experts to do this kind of work.

It’s kind of funny that I do have the skills for this. I have a Bachelor of Applied Arts in Fashion Design, I took a lot of courses in the elements and principles of design (which work for websites the same as for fashion) and visual communication. I taught myself html after university (which is easy to do online). I learned how to use Beaver Builder for WordPress a few years ago - a theme that allows me to put my ideas onto the pages of my website. I also learned how automations work to deliver course content over the last few years.

I have everything I need to do this.

OK wow.

I started writing this to help me process the feelings from my dream and now those feelings have cleared, I feel plugged back into my purpose + passion for this project and ready to get to work.

I think I am 1-2 weeks away from the move! But I thought the same thing 1 week ago, so who knows? When I get REALLY close, I will close registration for Dream Book, and will open it back up after everyone is moved.

Calling myself out for believing my own bullshit

I started seeing the world differently about four years ago, and then I started re-creating my work to match my new understanding of how the world is and my vision for what the world can be.

The more I learn about how colonialism and the patriarchy and capitalism and white supremacy function in the world, and all of the different forms of systemic oppression they create - the more I wanted to make my work DEEPER and STRONGER to help people free themselves from the toxicity of all of that.

Because this is NOT who we ARE.

One of the things that’s always pissed me off about the Live Your Best Life Industry is the spiritual by-passing.

I see how much the spiritual by-passing only serves to help privileged people focus on manifesting what they want for themselves while ignoring the role they play in maintaining systems of oppression in our society. I used to think it was ineffective and lame. Now I see it’s fucking DANGEROUS.

So, I've always understood that the world we live in is hostile to dreams, and that a huge part of making a dream real is this inner work of healing all the bullshit stories you have about yourself and who you really are and what your potential actually is, which you picked up from living in such a toxic culture.

But over the last four years I started to see it all much more clearly.

I started to see the connections between our personal growth and political systems and structures of oppression.

All of this learning has helped me feel so much more hopeful about how to create a better future for everyone. And more sure of my role in this as a teacher in the Live Your Best Life Industry.

Onto my bullshit story… after spending a few years re-creating my approach to teaching I felt like… I don’t know how to sell this.

I don’t know how to be marketing in capitalist systems when I want my work to be a part of helping people un-hook from the toxicity of capitalism and colonialism and the patriarchy.

And for a while now I've been in this story of… I am figuring out how to sell this.

Which keeps me in a place of… I don’t know how to sell this.

Which, today I just noticed, is 100% bullshit.

I do know how to sell my work because I DO sell my work. My work has been financially supporting me for almost 10 years.

But a part of me has been clinging to this “I don’t know how to sell this” story.

One of the ways I changed how I teach is that instead of teaching classes on different topics I now focus on helping people develop a daily/regular practice that fits into your life AND creates a MUCH deeper container for healing and growth.

Because otherwise you don’t notice where you’re living in a bullshit story!!!! Bullshit stories are GENIUS at making themselves feel true.

It’s my daily practice, and showing up each day to write about my practice in our private daily online mastermind blog, where I noticed… wow I’ve been repeating myself about this “I don’t know how to sell this”. What’s up with that?

The good thing about bullshit stories is that they don’t hold up well to that kind of examination.

Once you look them in the eye you see it’s all smoke and mirrors.

Because this part "I don’t know how to be marketing in capitalist systems when I want my work to be a part of helping people un-hook from the toxicity of capitalism and colonialism and the patriarchy.” IS FUCKING NONSENSE.

I mean the answer is obvious.

Authenticity.

Honesty.

Creativity.

Inspiration.

Integrity.

Living and working in alignment with my values.

THAT is how you market heartfelt creative work. BY BEING HEARTFELT AND CREATIVE IN HOW YOU PUT IT OUT THERE.

It’s NOT a mystery.

Yes, there are *so many* different tactics and strategies and approaches you can take. But you CAN see these as an art studio full of art supplies, each one does different things, and you get to pick and choose which ones to use and how to use them to create your own masterpiece.

And you get to experiment and try new things.

And you get to learn as you experiment and try new things.

And take what you learned and apply it to your next experiment.

So, this is me putting down my bullshit story about not knowing how to sell my work.

I LOVE what I’m doing.

I LOVE the insights and healings that happen all the time in the Creative Dream Circle.

And I LOVE my ideas for how to keep inviting YOU to join me in all of this magic.

Because there’s nothing better than that feeling of spotting a bullshit story that you’ve been living in, and then putting it down.

It feels like freedom and healing and love and joy all wrapped up in a burst of glitter.

And each bullshit story you put down moves you closer to your true self, who is POWERFUL and WISE and CREATIVE beyond measure.

That’s what I’m here for.

Get a free class to feel more CLEAR + SURE about your next steps:

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