Creative Entrepreneur

My Printable Year of Dreams 2022 Planner

The Year of Dreams 2022 Weekly Planner, Visioning Journal + Creative Dream Playbook is here!

It's available as a full colour printed book from Amazon worldwide, and as a printable planner. (Details on both are here)

I am using the printable version, which is a little bigger and offers a TON more space for customizing.

I CAN'T WAIT for 2022 and to start using this planner.

It's got MORE open space than any planner I've ever used.

Once I printed it and held it in my hands it felt like such a gift. SPACE and SUPPORT for a much deeper process than just planning my weeks. It feels like exactly what I need for 2022.

Plus it will be RELENTLESS about reminding you about what's most important to you.

You can't forget your new year's goals when your planner keeps reminding you!

I just can't wait to use it.

I wanted my planner to be strong enough to paint on and bound in a way that makes it easy to use.

I always paint in my planners and they never hold up well to the paint and I wanted this to be paint-worthy paper. Also I like the idea of a HEAVY weight planner that can stand up to all sorts of creative play.

And I wanted it coil bound, so I could flip it over to make it easy to write in AND ALSO I want to be able to move pages around and especially ADD PAGES anywhere. Some weeks I need more planning space. And with the visioning journal at the beginning, I may want to add more pages there as I go through the year and my plans unfold and dreams grow.

So I used a disc-bound system. If you haven't tried it - it's a miracle!

I started with this paper punch from The Happy Planner - doesn't matter which brand you get, but you do need a "mushroom punch" and not a hole punch.

And then I got these discs, also from the Happy Planner, to bind it. You need to make sure you are getting the right sized discs - too big or too small and the pages won't hold together as well. Since I used such heavy paper, I needed the largest discs.

You could also just us a binder, or get this printed at a copy shop where they can coil-bind it for you.

The paper:

I looked around - A LOT - for paper that was the same texture on both sides and MUCH heavier weight than regular printer paper. There are a LOT of options out there - especially when you get into cotton and linen papers.

The options available will vary depending on where you are. So I'll share what I used, but know that maybe you can find something better where you are. You can also get actual watercolour paper in letter size to use - though depending where you are, that can get really expensive since you need almost 150 sheets for this and probably wayyyy more than you need for a good, sturdy creative planner.

I got Accent brand 100 lb paper.

Normal printer paper is 20 lb. My Staples has printer paper up to 32 lb.

100 lb is a LOT heavier. It might not work with all printers - on mine it did get jammed a few times.

If it gets jammed and you have to stop and re-start the printing - you have to be especially careful about where you re-start the printing, since it needs to be 2-sided printing and a lot of the pages are printed on the wrong side. I made a few mistakes when mine jammed, but only ended up wasting a few sheets of paper.

Still to come: Laminating the covers

I just started painting the covers and there's lots more I want to do still before I can laminate them. But it's an important step to make the whole planner sturdier to bringing around with me. I loooove doing my planning in a coffee shop (when we're not in a pandemic lockdown)

But honestly, it's so big and heavy I am more likely to take the week's sheets out, tuck them into my big journal, and bring that to the coffee shop, and then put them back into the planner when I get home. I do love that the sheets came come out and go back in like that.

Once they are decorated I'm going to laminate the covers really thick and 1" bigger around so that the covers protect the paper inside.

So far from what I have read, the easiest way to do this is to get self-lamentation sheets at the dollar store, or I may just take the pages to a print shop and have them do it.

>>> Check out the Year of Dreams 2022 right here.

Get The Magic On Your Side Guided Journal

It never ceases to amaze me how many different ways there are to get stuck with a project.

Like you write a brilliant blog post and then when you go to share it, you re-read it and suddenly it's crap and you wonder why you even bother to try.

Or you finish the whole first draft of your book but are paralyzed by the editing process.

Or maybe everything was going fine, or so you thought anyway, but you just don't seem to be making time to work on it anymore.

Or maybe you get to a part where you really have no clue what to do next.

Or maybe a global pandemic strikes.. and just never seems to end.

The thing is - stucks are a part of the process.

I know. This sucks.

But the faster you can ACCEPT that stucks are a part of it - and have a PLAN for working with them - the faster you can get back into the flow!

This is the Inner Work of getting your project done.

It's the part where you face your fears.

And re-write your old stories of "I can't do this because"

This is the part where you step into this BRIGHTER BIGGER ore CREATIVE and BRAVE version of yourself.

This is the part where you BECOME the version of you who can COMPLETE the project.

This is my favourite part.

This is what we do in the Get The Magic On Your Side Guided Journal.

You start with some simple tips & tricks for successful Inner Work

Inner Work can be discombobulating!

I won't tell you HOW to do this because this is really a practice in listening to your inner voice - but I will offer some structure and guidance to help you get the most out of your work.

✨✨THE REST OF THIS JOURNAL IS THE MAGIC✨✨✨

This is how you will ALWAYS have something to DO with your project - because you can always come into this journal and PLAY with your project.

Whenever you're stuck with the Outer Work, you've got a whole journal to fill with Inner Work that will guide you back into the creative flow with your project! There are also some all-blank pages for you to create your own processes, or continue what you were doing on the previous page.

* If you're doing the Build The Path By Walking Guided Journal for the Outer Work, this journal will give you enough Inner Work to go along with it.

This journal will, literally, help you get the magic on your side so don't stay stuck with your project.

Every time, ANY time, you get stuck with the Outer Work - you've got a whole journal full of processes for engaging with the Inner Work of making your project happen.

This makes ALL the difference.

Get The Magic On Your Side Guided Journal for your Impossible Projects

This is a guided journal for navigating the inner work of getting your "Impossible Project" done.

(Inner Work = The Stuff That Makes The Outer Work Possible)

It comes as a full colour printed journal from Amazon, or a black & white PDF file you can print yourself.

Get your copy here

Build The Path By Walking

You know you're ready to DO this thing. So why are you not getting started?

This part, where the rubber meets the road, is just ridiculously awkward.

I mean - how could it not be?

How are you supposed to know HOW to do the thing you've never done? You can't.

You have SO MUCH inspiration and enthusiasm and you freaking LOVE this project - but all of those good things can't tell you HOW to do do it.

You can start taking steps, or just wait around for the path to magically appear.

This is what Build The Path By Walking means. That you recognize that this path isn't going to build itself, that there isn't a way to already know how to do a thing, before doing the thing.

So you dive in. You start trying thing, making mistakes and before you know it - you are learning as you go.

Easier said that done, right? That's why I made this guided journal.

Here's how it works:

This journal will offer encouragement to be awkward and make mistakes and not know... while also holding space for you to figure it all out.

This journal won't show you HOW to do your project because those answers are in YOU - it will guide you through the process of creating your own way.

I'll show you how to use the Build The Path By Walking method to NOT get tripped up by mistakes and fumbles along the way.

This can't be said enough: making mistakes and mis-steps and having it all fall apart is a TOTALLY NORMAL part of the process.

There simply isn't another way to do a thing you've never done before - other than to copy someone else's path, which is always a recipe for disaster.

Because YOUR project needs you to do it YOUR way.

So I PROMISE you that by trying the things you feel inspired to try, by respecting your ideas enough to test them, and by following your own creativity and inspiration, you WILL create your path.

These worksheets are the thing that turns "trying things, making mistakes and having no clue what to do next" into "learning and GROWING with each step".

You get detailed explanations on how to use each part and you'll see this shift is easier than you think.

Each time you finish 6 steps, you get a prompt for reflecting on your progress.

This is the second layer of "learning and growing as you go". These prompts have you looking at your process in different ways, to help you see different things in it.

All of this prompts are meant to spark new insights to help you with your next steps.

So, as you keep taking steps and reflecting along the way - each new step you take GETS EASIER.

This journal will coach you through the process of taking 54 steps with your "Impossible Project".

👉🏻 Once you've done that, you'll have both MOMENTUM and DIRECTION with your project.

You will have built part of the path and you'll know what to do next!

By using the Build The Path By Walking method to take each of these 54 steps, you'll learn an incredible amount about what your project needs, and what you need, to be able to complete it.

Build The Path By Walking Guided Journal for your Impossible Projects

This is a guided journal for taking steps, figuring it out as you go, and making remarkable progress on your project.

It comes as a full colour printed journal from Amazon, or a black & white PDF file you can print yourself.

Get your copy here

You Can Do This

It's normal to be all tangled up about whether or not you can actually do this thing.

EVERYONE feels this way at the start of a new project. And EVERYONE feels alone in it. Like their stucks are totally unique and unsurmountable.

I mean of course you also feel inspired and excited and ready to get to work... but you're not actually GETTING to work.

This is just how it is at the beginning stage, there are a lot of conflicting feelings.

And it takes time to work through them all, to get to that place of feeling grounded, clear and ready to DO the thing. For real.

When you first get the idea to do the thing, parts of it are supposed to feel impossible.

This is because your project will GROW you.

So yes, it's impossible - to the version of you that you are today.

But jumping in and ENGAGING with your idea will help you grow into the version of you who IS ready to do this.

That's why I made this journal.

Here's how it works:

The prompts lead you through the process of detangling the tangles.

Having a lot of conflicting feelings about your project makes it especially difficult to get stuck in them. Feelings need to MOVE and it's so hard for them to move when they're all tangled up together.

This journal will help you make space for ALL of your thoughts and feelings about this project, which will help you de-tangle it all.

Then you'll start to see the project, and your ability to DO this thing, in a new light.

You'll learn about your "Impossible Project" and how to work with it

"Impossible Projects" is another way of saying "Creative Dreams" which is something I have learned a lot about.

It's a thing you really, really want to do but you also aren't sure you CAN do it.

Impossible Projects tap into your most heartfelt wishes, truest inspiration and deepest self doubt and fears - all at once!

This journal will help you find ways to work on it, without making ANY of your feelings wrong.

You'll look at your project idea, and how you could do it, from a ton of different perspectives.

The thing about how your Impossible Projects grow you - it means if you just look at it from your currently-self everyday perspective, you're going to stay stuck.

You've got to stretch your mind a little and look at it in different ways so that the path can come into focus. You remember the "magic eye" art from the 90s where you'd stare at a pattern and then a 3D image would eventually appear? It's like that.

And the journal will encourage you along the way.

I know EXACTLY how hard it is to engage with a project idea that you really want to do, but also feel conflicted about.

I know EXACTLY how BRAVE it is to dive in and do this work.

So the journal offers all sorts of of encouragement along the way.

This journal will coach you through the process of getting ready to actually DO your "Impossible Project".

Once you've filled it in you'll have PROJECT CLARITY.

You'll either be ready to start taking steps with your project (which the next journal in this series can help you do) OR you'll know, for sure, that this isn't the right thing for you to do right now.

👉🏻 Either way, you'll stop all the ambivalence and what-ifs and you'll KNOW what to do next.

You Can Do This Guided Journal for your Impossible Projects

This is a guided journal for untangling doubts, freakouts, ambivalence, and getting ready to actually do your project! For real!

It comes as a full colour printed journal from Amazon, or a black & white PDF file you can print yourself.

>>> Get your copy here.

✨NEW✨ Guided Journals for your Impossible Projects

I do feel as disheveled as I look but look!! The Creative Dream Incubator Press now has FOUR journals out

Meet the three new “Impossible Project” journals:

You Can Do This Guided Journal for Untangling Doubts, Freakouts, and Ambivalence And Getting Ready To Actually Do Your Project! For real!

Build The Path By Walking Guided Journal for Taking Steps, Figuring It Out As You Go, And Making Remarkable Progress On Your Project

Get The Magic On Your Side Guided Journal For Navigating The Inner Work of Getting Your Project Done

Now available as full colour journals from Amazon worldwide, or as black & white printables!

Check them out and get your copies here.

 

Jacqueline opened her etsy shop!

No one EVER starts out already knowing HOW to do their dream.

It's just part of the nature of having a dream.

And yet, something about not knowing how can easily trigger us into feeling it like it's impossible.

That's where Jacqueline Manni was just one month ago, about opening an Etsy shop to sell her gorgeous art.

And then last week she sent me this message:

 

I joined Dream Book a month ago because I really wanted to start an Etsy shop with my artwork in it, but didn’t know how or even if I should (unworthiness gremlins!).

Well, that first month of journaling, affirmations, coloring, and videos got me through it, and I now have a new Etsy shop!

It really does feel like a miracle because I didn’t know the first thing about how to do any of it, but working with you inspired me to take the leap even though I didn’t feel ready.

Here is my baby

In Jacqueline's words:

I chose to share this painting, Morpho Eugenia, first because of all the palette knife work!

When I first wanted to paint many years ago I took a studio class, and would lay down about three brushstrokes an hour — I was petrified of making a mistake! My teacher noticed and told me to buy a palette knife and use it instead of my tiny brush. I warily bought it, stared at it for a few weeks, put it away, and didn’t start using it until last year! Now I can’t imagine working without it. It’s turned into a bit of a talisman, representing how much healing I've done around my artistic practice.

I also chose this painting because it incorporates another big love — literature.

It was inspired by the novella Morpho Eugenia by A.S. Byatt, which is one of my favorites. I finally got painting after studying literature, which led me sideways into Book Arts, which then led to painting. I incorporate so many things I learned in bookmaking into my paintings, too — this painting is backed with decorative paper as a reference to endpaper, for example. Plus the ephemera. I just love paper, and work on paper as much or maybe more than canvas.

Finally, I chose this painting because it takes into account my darkness as well as my light.

Although there is a fair bit of whimsy and butterflies and such in my work, there is also a gravitas and even a sadness. I’ve been letting that come out more and more, which feels really good and true. The reason I want to paint, and have a place where people can see my work, is because I want to make my soul visible. I can’t do that without both light and darkness.

Go check out her whole shop - it's gorgeous!

And I hope her story inspires you to think differently about what FEELS impossible for you right now.

When you’ve been accused of cultural appropriation in your spiritual, wellness or coaching business

Photo by Content Pixie on Unsplash

You've been accused of cultural appropriation in your spiritual, wellness, or coaching business.

You have nothing but good intentions.

You don't know why people are being so mean about it.

Everything you try to do seems to make it worse.

And you're not sure what to do next.

Your reaction is normal.

Notice how you are feeling, notice where those feelings are in your body.

If you feel afraid, ashamed, angry, defensive, righteous....

If your skin feels hot.

If your blood pressure has risen.

If you are breathing fast and shallow.

Just notice everything that's happening in your body. Notice the thoughts that are repeating in your mind. Notice your reaction.

You need to give yourself space for this, or else you'll react from your reaction and that will make everything worse.

You're a wellness practitioner or a coach. You have tools. Use them.

What do you need to do, to soothe yourself and come back to center?

Do it now.

You need to be grounded, centred, and able to listen to perspectives that are vastly different than yours.

You need to open your heart wide enough to see the pain you've caused.

At this point, you probably still want to focus on explaining your good intentions.

I promise - this is NOT the time to explain your good intentions. Trying to do that WILL make this worse for you.

You have an opportunity here.

This situation can help you grow and learn how to become an ally to the people you respect enough to honour their traditions or practices in the way you are doing.

I understand - you had good intentions, you meant to honour, but people are saying you are NOT honouring, you are appropriating.

This is an opportunity for you to learn what it would look like to ACTUALLY honour, in a way that those you are honouring FEEL honoured.

The temptation for most healers/guides/coaches at this point is to go into spiritual bypass.

I promise you, your answer is here on earth. Stay with us.

DO NOT speak of "one race" or unity or anything along those lines.

The fact is, the people you have been accused of appropriating from have a VASTLY different life experience than you have because white people are treated differently in the world. Calls for unity erase these realities, erase the pain and suffering and oppression of racism.

Which means: ANYTHING you say calling for unity is actually violent. It's a dismissal of other people's pain. A refusal to acknowledge the reality of what systemic racism does to people.

And, to the people who experience that pain every day, it really makes you look like a clueless ass.

Do better.

This morning, I had an email from one of my students saying "Hey thanks for those new videos you posted yesterday, I am finding them helpful! But I think you uploaded the 7th one twice, so the 8th one is actually missing."

It's true. I made a mistake. I somehow ended up with 2 copies of the 7th video and named them 7 and 8, and then uploaded them that way, and now this person is watching the same video twice.

I said "Thanks for letting me know! You're right, video 8 IS just a copy of video 7! I have fixed it. You can watch the real video 8 now, here it is."

If this person had mentioned in their email that not being able to see video 8 right way had caused pain in any way, of course I would have added an apology and asked what I could do, besides uploading the correct video, to make amends.

We all mess up sometimes. Then we apologize and make amends.

It was easy for me to quickly make amends in the case of the missing 8th video because I didn't have any kind of emotional reaction to what I was accused of.

I didn't waste any time in "HOW FUCKING DARE YOU? I DID NOT UPLOAD THE SAME VIDEO TWICE!!!!!"

I didn't feel attacked, and then react from that feeling and set out to attack my accuser.

No drama was created.

When you've been accused of cultural appropriation online I know it FEELS like something different. It FEELS like being ganged up on and "cancelled".

But really, it's just people letting you know that you made a mistake and your actions are actually doing harm.

Continue to notice if you feel charged, and do your work to calm yourself.

White people respond is VERY similar ways to accusations of cultural appropriation and racism. (You can google it, it's called White Fragility and I promise, everything you want to say to your online accusers is covered there in the descriptions of white fragility responses.)

This is because our nervous systems get activated.

We're afraid.

We feel attacked.

And we attack back.

In the Live Your Best Life Industry, we tend to attack back with spiritual by-pass - all the unity talk and accusing your accusers of "being triggered" and "needing healing" and "I'll pray for you" while placing yourself on some kind of spiritual by-pass pedestal where actually you did nothing wrong.

Accept that you made a mistake.

Cultural appropriation contribues to systemic oppression.

This is because cultural appropriation is NOT just about you honouring or being inspired by a thing from another culture and then taking it and using it in your business.

Cultural appropriation happens within colonial systems that oppress the Indigenous population while supporting the non-Indigenous population.

For example, in Canada and the USA traditional Indigenous spiritual practices were made illegal, as a part of the process of colonization. Those who continued, had to do so at great cost to themselves. Even today, the path of a traditional medicine person is about a million times more difficult than the path of a white online coach or healer.

While those laws are no longer in effect, their effects are still very much in effect.

For non-Indigenous people to come along, and do nothing to help Indigenous people mitigate those effects, and just take the spiritual practices and sell them themselves...

Are you seeing it now?

There is no such thing as Cultural Appreciation. The opposite of cultural appropriation is COLLABORATION.

In this industry, most forms of cultural appropriation are about profiting from the theft and colonization of Indigenous practices.

This is particularly hurtful because the Indigenous groups where the practices come from are still living under the oppression of colonization.

Journal prompts for when you've been accused of cultural appropriation:

Continue to do your work to calm your nervous system, not get emotionally reactive, and consider each of these questions with an open mind:

What is your relationship with the culture you are taking this thing from?

How would it feel to speak, face to face, to a person from this culture, and explain why you are selling this thing? Do you believe that they have had the same privileges in life that would allow them to sell this thing as easily as you can? If they are not making money from this but you are, what would you tell them about why that is?

If this person historically lived on the lands that you now occupy, what do you know about how this land came to be yours? What do you know of how this has impacted the original inhabitants who are still here?

Do you understand the full history of the thing you've taken? How was it originally used? What was the culture around it? How is your culture different?

How are you participating in the healing, decolonization, empowerment, and liberation of the culture you are taking this thing from?

Does the way you are offering this thing contribute anything to the people that you took it from?

Continue to do your work to calm your nervous system and read everything that's been said to you. Where did you make a mistake? Of course you had good intentions, but as you read what's been said to you, are you truly understanding the IMPACT of your actions?

If you want to be spiritual about it: this situation IS happening for a reason.

That reason is to contribute to YOU waking up.

Instead of culturally appropriating - you could be COLLABORATING.

And using your good intentions to make amends and build bridges.

This is a part of the work that builds a better world.

I know you do the work you do because you believe in a better world.

And I hope you trust me when I say: the places where you are culturally appropriating are your blind spots and they're stopping you from being an effective helper in creating a better world.

As white people growing up in white supremacy, we're all hooked into it's power.

Un-hooking is the REAL waking up.

This accusation is your opportunity to begin. I hope you take it.

My new dream: The Creative Dream Incubator Press

I can trace the roots of this dream back realllllly far.

In 2015, I started creating + sending out a weekly journaling kit, and have sent out a weekly journaling kit every week since then!

And then in 2017 I self-published 2 guided journal/colouring books which are no longer available. And, of course, my Journal Cards for Dreamers.

I loved those books and cards, and I had ideas for dozens more, but it didn't quite feel like the right time, and other projects took precedent.

Then in the last year, this dream came back with a vengeance, and with much more clarity and heft.

In hindsight, I can see that I needed to develop my ideas which became Creative Dream Alchemy and the Dream Book approach to journaling while also developing my visual voice (by creating the weekly journaling kits) for how I want to create the guided journals.

Everything fell into place... except the logistics around publishing, printing, sales and distribution. Just that little piece 😉

I've had a lot of ideas for how to do this.

I've done a lot of research.

And I got very tangled up in everything I learned.

This is a TOTALLY NORMAL stage of creative dreams. When you dig in and start looking at all of the details OF COURSE you will get lost in them.

In 2017 I published those books through Amazon because their self publishing system is really simple. They make it easy to sell your book almost anywhere in the world.

BUT seeing how much profit Amazon made during the pandemic while not paying taxes or treating their employees well, I stopped using Amazon as a customer and didn't want to use them with my business.

So I went ahead with a non-Amazon option.... but by the time I had my first journal ready to publish, the retail cost was $200 - plus shipping! It was a GORGEOUS journal with luscious paper but I really don't want these journals to be precious.

Then as I sat with this tangly mess of ideas and obstacles and dreams and wishes I realised that I have only THREE priorities right now:

  1. Dream Book: both as a participant and leader
  2. Making new guided journals
  3. Epic Self Care/feeling good and enjoying myself

That's all.

I don't want to gather and manage a team and build a publishing empire... right now.

And I don't want to keep figuring out the details of the physical journals.

The idea of just making my journals and putting them out there in a simple way by myself feels REALLY REALLY GOOD.

There are no real rules when it comes to your dreams, but for me, the simplest way is often the best way.

You can refine and embellish and expand as you go. But start with whatever way feels do-able to who you are today.

So, for now, I am going back to Amazon.

Later on I can do it differently! In fact, my research showed me an AMAZING way to build the Creative Dream Incubator Press... but it will make more sense to work on that part AFTER I have a bunch of journals completed.

Amazon makes it easy for me to put out there, and easy for people to buy from anywhere in the world.

I've spent A LOT of time and energy working through details and plans and also processed A LOT feelings about this and I am not interested in feedback from anyone at this time. Amazon is not how I wanted to do this AND it's the right way for me to do this right now. I think it's a really beautiful metaphor for how our dreams help us build a better world, but to get there we need to be present in this world, as it is today.

I am now getting ready to publish THREE new guided journals! It's a series called Let's Do This: Guided Journals for your Impossible Project.

It's three journals for the three stages of working on your project:

  1. Going from "OMG I want to do this and OMG I don't know if I can and OMG am I stuck? and OMG this is too hard, is it??!?!" to feeling ready to begin.
  2. A journaling process for creating MOMENTUM out of little steps, and learning as you go. (Build The Path By Walking)
  3. A whole journal of journaling processes for navigating the INNER work of growing into the version of you who definitely CAN do this thing.

Watch this space!

I was wrong. Again. About that new project.

Last week I wrote that I'd have my new GUIDED JOURNAL TO HELP YOU DO YOUR IMPOSSIBLE PROJECTS (!) ready to share this week.

Ha.I was wrong.

Well. I did finish it.

BUT I didn’t want to publish it the way I had done with previous journals - on Amazon.

I only want to work with companies whose values align with mine, and profiting billions from a pandemic without providing paid health leave or even decent working conditions to your employees just doesn’t feel very dreamy to me.

And yet, Amazon has this great system in place, to make it easy for anyone to publish a book, AND makes it easy for people to buy the book, almost anywhere in the world. Those qualities ARE dreamy.

So I did format the book for Amazon and was preparing it for sale there….

Thinking, even though Amazon will make more money on this than I will, this is the best way to start because it’s simple and lets me focus on making MORE journals, and once I had more journals ready I could look at better ways to do the publishing and sales.

But the Amazon journal just kept not feeling right.

Sitting with that feeling led me to do an experiment this weekend…. creating a journaling KIT with multiple journals plus booklets - all the same content but put together in a much more CREATIVE and ALIVE and ENTICING way.

I could see this kit really helping people get EXCITED to do the hard work of making their impossible projects happen.

And it felt soooooo exciting. So much creative energy!

But.

It also felt like “Oh wow I am doing So Much Work on this, and the ideas behind my work took 20 years to develop and the way I am doing this with this printing company is soooooo cute but.. the printing company gets almost all the money.” I mean that’s better than Amazon getting it but…

Sitting with that feeling led me to see ALL SORTS of other ways I can do this - to make the content FUN and ACCESSIBLE and also for THE CREATIVE DREAM INCUBATOR to make most of the money.

Sitting with these uncomfortable feelings is the worst.

Especially when I’m already finishing this project a year behind schedule and all I really want is to BE DONE and put it out there.

But.

I’m going to hold onto it a little longer.

Keep exploring these new ideas.

I think I really have something here.

Sometimes I just finish a project only to learn how I REALLY wanted to do that project. And the next step is to start the whole thing over. This is how it is sometimes.

If you've got some uncomfortable feelings about your creative proejcts, I invite you to sit with them too.

The hard/stuck places have SO MUCH to teach us and can often show us the BEST way to do the thing.

And you don't have to be alone with it!

I offer TONS of practices and support for doing the deeper Inner Work as a part o my ongoing creative dream mastermind.

I woke up this morning feeling DESPERATE to sit in a coffee shop and write. On Dreams and Privilege and Changing The World.

I woke up this morning feeling DESPERATE to sit in a coffee shop and write. On Dreams and Privilege and Changing The World.

I've been staying in bed and meditating for 30 minutes before getting up, which usually means I wake up feeling quite calm and centered and clear about what I want to do with my day...

Not today. Today, even post-meditation, I just can't shake that desperation of wanting a thing I can't have.

After two months of being North America's covid hotspot, Winnipeg's third wave has peaked. New cases are down which is a relief except our hospitals are still overflowing and there is such a backlog of medical issues, we are really not out of the woods.

Nevertheless, we are opening back up. Because our conservative government doesn't know how to do anything except put money ahead of people's health and wellbeing.

All this to say, I CAN go to a coffee shop as of Saturday. And next Tuesday is 2 weeks since my second vaccine shot.

But that's not feeling helpful to me, on Thursday morning.

So here I am, sitting at a picnic table in the park with my laptop, which is my attempt to give myself the next best thing.

I made a lavender iced latte, which melted in the heat on my bike ride here and now is just watery cold coffee. It's the time of year when the trees are dripping sap and everything is sticky. It feels like bugs are actually getting stuck on my legs.

A lot has changed for me in this last year, but I still believe in the magic and wisdom of DESIRE and MAKING WISHES and FOLLOWING OUR DREAMS WITH EVERYTHING WE HAVE.

That wish to drink iced coffee on a coffee shop patio is about:

treats
fueling
ease
stability
comfort
ritual
routine
space-making for my creative process

When I look at it that way, I can find other ways to get some of these things. And some of them are just inaccessible right now.

Stability is the thing that's been the hardest for me to call in over these last 15 months.

I mean, the world changed. It feels like it happened overnight, but I can remember watching the pandemic unfold in China and then Italy while knowing that our health system isn't better than theirs as that feeling of inevitability slowly swooped in. It's hard to call in the quality of stability when the world just fucking CHANGED and we can't just change it back.

Obviously, a lot has happened in my life as well. My husband isn't living with me anymore. Having the space and quiet of living alone IS what I need right now, AND it is incredibly disorienting the way my home has changed. Our relationship is actually stronger right now than it was, AND I miss him a lot of the time. AND we know for sure living together in the Dream Loft is not an option, so we are creating a new vision together.

I'm lucky that the Creative Dream Incubator hasn't really changed. I'm LOVING my work in Dream Book and am fueled by it all the time. I'm lucky and privileged that my income stayed steady even as I was distracted as fuck and nowhere near as productive as I used to be.

And that's what I wanted to write about: Privilege and dreams and changing the world.

Because what about the people who have NEVER had the kind of stability that I took for granted until the last year? The stability which is such a helpful ingredient for being brave and bold enough to pursue your dreams?

A world where the most privileged have the most access to their dreams looks like.... the world we live in today.

A world where white supremacy and the patriarchy rule.

A world of increasing wealth inequity. I mean how do we not collectively see how psychotic it is to have individuals hoarding more money than our brains can fathom while others starve in the streets?

A world where fighting for a liveable future for all is actually a fight. And we're loosing that fight.

A world where, here in Canada, we've now found over 1,200 children's bodies buried in unmarked graves at former residential school grounds and settler Canadians are in shock even though we've known since 2015 that the number is closer to 6,000.

A world where slavery exists.

A world where gangs really are the best option for a lot of kids.

A world where we joke about rape. And we judge women for "sleeping their way to the top" instead of jailing the men who abuse their power to force women to choose between sleeping with them or not moving up the ladder at all.

I could go on but you know what I mean.

Our culture is sick. And I believe our dreams can help us heal it.

Because working with your dream connects you more deeply to your true self.

Your dream will push you to heal your wounds that keep you stuck in the unhealthy coping mechanisms that contribute to more disharmony in your life and in the world around you.

Your dream will help you grow into your true gifts and power and we need EVERYBODY'S true gifts and power to heal our culture and create a better one.

A lot of us privileged folks in the Live Your Best Life Industry are looking at ways to do this and wondering.... How do we increase accessibility and inclusivity in our spaces?

These are well meaning questions but they are not going to lead to the kinds of answers that make a difference.

Accessibility and inclusivity are NOT how we build a world where we ALL have access to our dreams.

Since 2015 I have been struggling with the incredible amount of privilege in the Live Your Best Live industry, and my own participation and contribution to that. I have made changes in my work to make it more accessible - not just financially but energy and time wise by creating a deeper, sturdier container.

That's not enough. It's nowhere near enough.

It's still a form of inviting "others" to the table when what is needed is to tear the table apart and build something new that includes everyone, from the ground up.

I mean, anyone in the New Age world looking at ways to be more inclusive and accessible, myself included - and even with the understanding that we've all got good intentions -  is laughable.

This whole industry is built on cultural appropriation and theft. We are really going to now open the doors to be more inclusive and invite the people we stole from, to feel more comfortable to come in and buy back what we stole?

The audacity!

It's the same way Canadians are now pointing the fingers at the churches and employees of residential schools instead of looking at how we, ourselves, benefit from residential schools TODAY and how we can, RIGHT NOW TODAY, tear down this system, which continues to kill Indigenous children.

Your dream wants you to BE who are here to BE.

I know a part of who I am here to BE is a kind hearted person who won't stand for genocide. Not in my own country and not anywhere else in the world.

This includes facing a lot of uncomfortable truths.

Both about yourself, and the places where you hold back and follow your inner critic instead of your inner truth, and also about the outer world.

We can't change anything that we can't be with.

And once we can BE WITH the uncomfortable truths, change is not as far away as it feels right now.

So stay with it.

Personally, in our own lives and collectively, in the world. This is the work.

Your Next Steps: A journaling + meditation class to help you be more CLEAR and SURE of your next steps