Manifest your dream life

Waking up in my new life

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My husband moved out of the Dream Loft on Friday.

Saturday he came over to pick up some food from the fridge and then I went over to his place to have dinner with him and the kids.

Sunday I went through closets and drawers and packed up a whole bunch more stuff for him. (He's a packrat and I'm a minimalist - I wanted my closets and drawers to be neat and tidy again.)

He came to pick it up and we had a good long talk about where we are going and how we want to get there.

We both want to get to the same place, but we are not in agreement on how to get there.

But that feels ok. Like we can keep talking, tell the truth about what we need and do our best to make space for each other's needs, and we will find our way.

Sunday night, with all of his stuff really gone, with all this new space in the closets and drawers, I tidied and arranged and vacuumed.

And Monday it felt like I woke up in my new life.

So far it's quiet and sunny.

There is so much less stuff in here that more sun can find it's way in. (I probably do need to get some more furniture at some point, but right now all this empty space feels soothing to my soul)

I can leave papers on the kitchen table and no one will set a dirty coffee cup down on them.

I can use all the hot water any time I want without the slightest thought of saving some for someone else.

There are so many tiny gifts to living alone.

But mostly I am noticing: we should have done this sooner.

This last winter, with both of us living and working in a 1,000 sq ft open loft (it's 2 storeys, but the upstairs looks over the downstairs so no privacy unless you're in the bathroom), when it was too cold to go anywhere outside and everything was closed because we were in code red all winter long, plus with 2 teenagers here every weekend and sometimes during the week to do school from here - it was really hard.

But it's not just about the pandemic.

Us trying to live here together was always insane.

Everyone around us was telling us so.

We were just so in love and also thought it was temporary and we'd move to a different place and also maybe we were naive?

Not that I'm not glad we tried. I am.

There was *so much good* in living with Joseph. I don't believe I could have lived in this space with anyone else. He brings so many gifts into my life.

But the way I feel now, with this space TO BE ALL MINE, with quiet and sunshine and space to set up stations for all of my various alchemy rituals and have everything exactly how I want it - this is what I need right now.

It felt selfish to say " I just want my home to be exactly how I want it".

Like having a wonderful partner should be a good trade-off for making some compromises on decor choices.

Which maybe makes sense, but it's true that we BOTH wanted our home just the way we want it, and that our ideas of what that means are polar opposites from each other.

And - this is one of the hardest parts of ANY dream. Claiming what you REALLY want, even when it feels weird or selfish or uncomfortable or vulnerable or unlikely. Just wanting what you want.

And now I'm seeing it - making my home be exactly what I need means my home holds space for me, in a creative, emotional and spiritual way.

It becomes easier to stay in alignment with my growing dreams. It's easier to face the hard parts with courage. It's easier to be more creative and to have better ideas and... just... everything feels easier.

It's not just about how it looks. It's the emotional connection. How I FEEL in my space.

As an artist and highly sensitive empathic intuitive introvert - holy shit I need MY space. And it's not like I didn't know that! I totally knew that before.

And it's not that I don't miss him. I do.

But I missed ME. The me I am when I have enough alone time.

Also now that I have a little space, I'm seeing all the ways that living with someone and also taking on WIFE and MOM roles changed me in ways I don't want to changed.

I also see how they changed me in ways I DID want to be changed. And ways they changed me in surprising but also-needed ways.

I might want to write more about living in the patriarchy and the ways women in heterosexual relationships take on those stupid WIFE and MOM roles. Or about a relationship between an Indigenous person and a settler during the ongoing violent occupation that is Canada. Because writing here on my blog has always been a way of helping me find clarity and see new ways through.

For today I just want to say: WHOA.

That moment when you dream of a thing and plan for a thing and work at a thing and then all of a sudden it happens.

It's disorienting. Even when it was planned and worked for. It's still a change.

It's still: Wait, what? I actually get to have this thing I wanted? The world will let me have it?

And I wanted to send out a reminder to everyone: you get to want what you want.

And, if you want, you get to do the (inner + outer) work to actually get the thing.

And, if you want to do that work with me - join me in Dream Book, my creative mastermind + dream class for playing/creating/growing/healing your way into your dream.

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My husband is moving out of the Dream Loft. But we’re not separating.

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*I'm not accepting any advice or helpful suggestions about anything in this post 😉 I trust myself and my partner to navigate all of this.

So this is happening today.

My husband is moving out of the Dream Loft.

We're not getting a divorce or even technically separating. We're Living Apart Together - which actually is a thing with a wikipedia page and everything.

He got an apartment that's a 20 minute walk from my place, and a 15 minute walk from the kids' mom's place.

There is a lot I can say about how we got here and I don't know which parts of this story I want to share yet.

I do know this: when you know what is right for you, you have to DO IT.

Even when your kids say "this is really weird"

Even when your friends and family don't understand.

Even when this is just not what people do.

For the last few years I've been stuck.

I don't have the right space for my work.

And we don't have the right space for our home.

In 2011, I bought my dream home - an all-open 2 storey loft condo with 2 floors of floor to ceiling south facing windows (so sunny!). Upstairs looks over downstairs, so while the upstairs bedroom feels separate from everything it's not actually private.

This was perfect for my single self. It was less than ideal when I got married and my husband moved in, but we thought it was temporary and we were in the honeymoon phase so it seemed fine....

Until it wasn't.

And in the last few years we've explored a lot of options for what to do about this, and none of them felt right.

Until this.

This gives us space for the healing and growth we each need to do, to create the life we want next.

AND AND - when we spend time together, we will be more engaged and present with each other. Which we have NOT been doing this all winter. All the stress of everything had each of us withdrawing into our own coping mechanisms.

As one of my friends said "Going to each other's places for sleepovers might really spice things up!"

But, of course, sometimes this feels like a breakup.

Packing, dividing up our stuff, and all the feelings coming up and the arguments they spark.

The fears we both have, and we, or the other one, will feel happier apart and not want to continue the relationship.

There are moments when following your heart does lead to scary places and this is definitely one of them!

But this feels like we're doing this big change to create a way better relationship and future for both of us.

I love where this is headed.

By giving each other space, it feels like we create better conditions for connection.

We both feel it. A lot of change and growth is coming.

And I can't wait to set up my new creative work/play space this weekend.

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New Classes + Calls for the Creative Business Incubator

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New Classes + Calls for the Creative Business Incubator

⚡️New coaching calls coming for the Creative BUSINESS Incubator are happening in April and May⚡️

Help me plan them! What topics do you want to discuss? Leave a comment below.

I definitely want to do one on partnering with the soul of your business because that's the foundation for everything else.

But for the other calls I'm open to anything and would like to plan the calls around what you would most like to explore, so let me know!

These calls will be open to everyone who is in Dream Book, my creative dream mastermind, and to everyone who purchases the Creative Dream Incubator e-course, which will be available at a special price as a part of a special sale from March 29 to April 4.

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New Moon Goal Setting + Journal Prompts

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new moon goal setting

I do New Moon Goal Setting every month.

Of course - you can set any goal you want, any time you want. But the new moon is a great time for this work and having a regular ongoing routine/practice of goal setting gives you the best chance of creating real MOMENTUM for moving towards your dreams.

How are dreams and goals different? Dreams tend to be bigger and more expansive and not always easy to describe in a single sentence. Goals are tangible and measurable. Goals help you move towards dreams.

As I prepare to set new goals for the March new moon, I'm looking back at the goal I set at the February new moon and noticing that I didn't even come close to meeting it.

Not meeting your goals does NOT mean you failed.

Part of the process of goal setting is looking back and noticing what happened after you set the goal and then learning from that. Then you take what you learned, and apply it to the next goal you set.

This process of trial and error and learn-as-you-go is how most big dreams happen.

It's not fancy, but it works.

And it's something ANYONE can do at ANY TIME.

And it turns goal-setting into this magical thing that shows you exactly where you need to learn, grow, and heal, in order to have more of the things you want.

I still remember, about 13 years ago before I was even considering leaving my day job, I made my first online creativity workshop kit and wanted to sell it.

I set a goal to sell 10 kits in one week.

And then.... nothing happened. Didn't sell a single kit.

At the end of the week, upon reflecting on this goal, I had to face all the feelings that came up as I accepted that I had no clue how to sell the kits.

Which lead me to see more clearly that I was waiting for this to happen to me, instead of going out there and creating it.

Which also shone a light on all sorts of other places with my dreams where I wait for it to happen instead of create it for myself.

Which got uncomfortable but also led to a decision: to read a business book.

I hated that business book and I didn't feel that I could do any of those things it talked about, so I went back to my "if I just make stuff that's good enough, people will want it" approach (which does NOT work).

I had to go around and around like this, each time making a decision to take the next step to learn how to create this thing I wanted, instead of waiting for it to happen for me.

Eventually, I started finding business books I could love and taking business classes and working with coaches and figured out MY WAY to sell my work.

I even made my own business class, to share what I'd learned about how I had brought creativity + playfulness + integrity + introspection into the process of sales and marketing and building an online business around sharing your creative gifts. It's called The Creative Business Incubator.

(Right now it's only available to Dream Book members - but at the end of the month there is a special sale happening where you can get just the Creative Business Incubator, plus I'm going to be doing some extra business coaching circles in April.)

You can start out not even knowing how much you don't know about how to get to your goal... and still get to your goal. As long as you don't give up.

Which is why I do a monthly New Moon Alchemy + Coaching circle, as a part of Dream Book, my creative mastermind. NOT to make sure everyone meets their goals every month, but to support everyone in staying in this process where you explore what you need to learn, grow, and heal, in order to have more of the things you want.

As I think back to that first sales goal I set 13 years ago - if I had just magically manifested it back then, would I be where I am today?

Because I LOVE that I trust myself to support myself financially. I LOVE that I KNOW HOW to do this in ways that feel good to me. I wouldn't want to trade what I have now for the experience of the sales just coming to me without me going out there and learning how to create it for myself.

So I always think of that on months when I didn't even get close to meeting my goals, like this month.

Last month, I felt *SO SURE* that I could finish my new project and be getting ready to put it out there.

But, here I am, still calling it "my new project" instead of feeling ready to show you exactly what it is.

At this time of the month, right before the New Moon, I look back to what I wrote on the last New Moon and reflect on what happened.

Did I do my best to show up for this goal?

Did I have the right kinds of support?

What was in the way? Is it what I thought would be in the way or was there an unexpected obstacle?

Is there a lesson for me here?

Is there something for me to let go of?

What does all this tell me about what to do next?

What do I WANT to do next? What feels inspiring now?

Again, this is NEVER about forcing myself to reach the goal on time.

It's ALWAYS about engaging with the process, which teaches me about the inner and outer healing and growth and change that need to happen for me to do this thing.

This month, it feels PERFECT that I didn't meet my goal.

I did do my best with it for the first 2 weeks, and then something unexpected happened.

On the February Full Moon, I lead the BREAKTHROUGH Alchemy Coaching Circle, which of course sparked a breakthrough. I was expecting some kind of breakthrough, I was not expecting the way it happened.

And then on the next day, my husband and I did a ceremony to feed a snake and a bear who had come to him in his dreams. If you know anything about Native American teachings you know that's some serious stuff, and that ceremony sparked some big lessons for us both.

And then this big unexpected thing happened and now we are making some equally big and unexpected changes.

So goal which was SO IMPORTANT to me at the February New Moon needs to take a backseat to the new things that are happening. And even though I didn't reach my goal, I am moving towards my dream.

This kind of reflection is VITAL for your dream.

Without it, this month of not meeting my goal becomes this shameful embarrassing thing.

I mean - I'm a life coach but I can't even meet my own goals? What's wrong with me? is the story that gets fed and then shoved underground where it will make it harder to make progress on my goals because it's nurturing the seeds of I'm a failure and I won't follow through so why bother.

And all of that stuff just festers.

WITH this reflection, I feel good about how this month went. I accept where I am. I feel proud of myself. I feel inspired and ready to set another goal and move forward again, understanding that I may not get to where I WANT to get next month, but I know I'll get to the right place as long as I keep showing up for myself.

Do this Magical New Moon Goal Setting with me.

The March New Moon Alchemy + Coaching Circle is happening on March 12 - tomorrow. The replay is available a few hours after the live call is done so you have a few days to do this call in the New Moon energy.

This is where we dig into ALL of this magic together.

This call is for everyone who is Dream Book - join us here.

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Rainbow Eyeshadow Future Selfies

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Future-Self Vision

I am having SO MUCH FUN with the rainbow eyeshadow future self selfies, which I've been doing for a few weeks.

I play around with colour, doing a different kind of rainbow each time.

Then I play around with lighting and taking selfies in different locations. Different poses. Feeling into my next level future self who is dreaming next level future dreams.

Holding that energy.

Capturing it on film.

Building visual passageways between me and her.

And then I wash my face. I can't actually wear all that eyeshadow!

I went to a Zoom birthday party last weekend and my friend said she was disappointed to not see rainbows on my face.

PLAYING with BEING your future self and putting it out there is powerful work. I know this is helping me build the next part of my path.

But I don't think I'll ever become a person who wears this much makeup.... I mean I used to, but that was when I worked in an office full time and putting on eyeshadow was a chance to be creative. Now I live my creative life so my face can just be what it is.

It's not about the eyeshadow. It's about following my creative flow and stretching into my brightest future.

Your bigger-brighter-future self has so many gifts and insights to offer you.

And there so many ways you can open deeper to more fully receive them.

Come to the BREAKTHROUGH Alchemy Coaching Circle tomorrow and let's play with them together.

The BREAKTHROUGH Alchemy Coaching Circle is happening on the full moon: Saturday, February 27 🌕💥⁠

⁠Here's what you'll get:⁠
⁠
✨ A radical new way of seeing yourself, or your situation⁠
✨New options for how to move forward⁠
✨A deeper connection to your own truth.⁠
⁠
Some people will receive these things during the live call on Saturday. For some people, these things will come to you over the next month.⁠
⁠
Let's do this! Grab your spot here.

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I had a breakthrough yesterday.

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I had a breakthrough yesterday.

I hit (another!) pandemic wall on the weekend and I did the things that help best when I am in Full On Overwhelm. I finished my day with a hot lavender bath, I did yoga and meditated, and I went to bed early.

Normally, this helps me wake up the next day ready to take on the world. Yesterday, I woke up still crabby. And as my day went on I stayed crabby - even though I was doing all the things that usually help.

My husband (who is STILL working from home) noticed, of course, and towards the end of the day came upstairs to tell me a silly story in the hopes of cheering me up. That's when I started crying.

"Sweetie, what's wrong? I'm trying to cheer you up."

I realised later, that it was because I was touched by him trying to cheer me up, that I finally felt some of what I was actually feeling. That all that crabbiness and overwhelm was really more about having-so-many-feelings-I-can't-feel-anything and being all bottled up, emotionally.

And expecting my usual self care routines to take care all of this right now is unrealistic. I need more.

That's the breakthrough. To look for ways to double my self care.

The best breakthroughs seem boring and obvious once you've had them. But nevertheless, they change everything.

So I doubled up on my self care practices and gave myself more space to be where I am and I woke up this morning feeling more clear and grounded and I am remembering - we just had 3 weeks of brutal winter weather, and everything is still closed.

Normally, I can go for walks in brutal winter weather. In -40s, I can bundle up and go for a 30 minute walk - I'll just be cold by the end of it. So I walk to a coffee shop/bakery with a wood fire oven. It's toasty warm in there, and in the coffee shop section they've got huge sunny windows and dozens of plants. The warmth, the sun, the plants, the coffee, the treats, the whole place smelling like whatever's baking - it's a pretty epic spot to do some journaling and writing. Plus I warm up enough to walk 30 minutes back home, no matter what the weather.

Bundling up to walk 15 minutes from home, then turn around and walk back, just doesn't have the same feel to it, you know? So I haven't been bothering to do it, and now I'm feeling the effects of not getting out at all.

Last weekend we went to my friend's farm.

Normally, my friend and I would have lunch or coffee together at least every other week, since she works in the city.

My husband is a traditional Cree medicine person. He received messages from some spirits who needed to be fed, so he needed space to have a sacred fire. So I spoke to my friend at the farm and she offered her space - provided we didn't go inside her home.

We were only there for about 2 hours, but it was AMAZING to see my friend again and just sit around and hang out (it was a warmer day and we had the fire going).

It was after that, that it hit me how much I've lost. And how very much I miss my people.

This turned up the volume on the I-Have-Too-Many-Feelings-I'm-All-Bottled-Up thing that was happening. It pushed it all over the edge.

It was my little breakthrough that helped me see this differently, helped me be more compassionate with myself. "Oh sweetie. Of course you're crabby. Look at what you've lost. Of course you're sad."

And now I feel ACCEPTING of my feelings. Like they're not all bottled up and I am not on the verge of exploding. I can just slow down and be more patient with myself.

It's a subtle shift in focus.

A shift from: "just keep going, you are one of the lucky ones, you have everything you need to get through this ok" which was only creating a backlog of un-felt feelings in me, which was making everything harder than it already was.

To: "Sweetie this is HARD, make space for all of these feelings" which helps me be more deeply present with ALL parts of me which plugs me back into my superpowers which is the thing that will actually help me move through this best.

And let's me clear: I knew this. I KNEW BETTER than to do what I was doing.

The breakthrough didn't teach me something I didn't already know.

It put me back in touch with that inner knowing in a way that it really LANDED.

And then I was able to make that change.

And now everything feels different for me. I have all these new options for how to move forward.

Breakthrough Alchemy Coaching Circle

The BREAKTHROUGH Alchemy Coaching Circle is this Saturday - on Feb 27.

A Breakthrough is a sudden shift in perspective, a radical new way of seeing yourself, or your situation.

A Breakthrough gives you new options that you didn't know you had, before the breakthrough.

A Breakthrough brings you back to your own truth.

I am not promising everyone who attends will have an instant breakthrough. I am hoping for that though!

What I AM promising is that attending the Circle, and then showing up for the next 30 days to keep working with it, will give you these things:

A radical new way of seeing yourself, or your situation
New options
A deeper connection to your own truth

Join me here.

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It’s all connected

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It's all connected

Last summer, I found out the owner of the online business company I was using (they supplied my website, membership site, email services and shopping cart) is a far-right anti-feminist "racism isn't real stop believing in it" kind of person, and was sharing their views in public, while presenting themselves as a thought leader for spiritual entrepreneurs.

I brought it up in the Facebook group for their customers. Now - this was software marketed at spiritual entrepreneurs. So these people are all about love and light and living your purpose.

I had just been on a really inspiring call about anti-racism in the online small business community and was all full of "OH YES WE CAN CHANGE THIS" energy (which you can watch on this page) and so I totally forgot how spiritual white people get when you bring up racism...

When the racist, ignorant comments I received in response to my post were not deleted or responded to in any way (other than one staff member putting HEARTS on them!) that really told me everything I needed to know about the company culture. I started working on a plan to move my business.

The fact that so many people in the New Age community are lost in their white fragility is NOT just about racism.

It's also about the New Age's inability to look at itself with any kind of clarity.

Byron Katie's The Work was helpful to me at one point, and I know it's helped millions of people.

AND it's just one tool amount MANY approaches in the New Age that have that kind of "I am 100% responsible for my life and there is nothing that happens outside of me" bullshit.

"I'm just going to change the way I think about this problem and them *POUF* PROBLEM! SOLVED!"

(I mean - I did 4 years of classes and then interned to be a teacher and counsellor and then then taught and counselled at a spiritual school whose motto is "Change your thinking, change your life".)

This is where context matters.

OMG yes we need to take responsibility for ourselves.

But, because the tools of the New Age are colonized practices, taken without any understanding of the context from which they came from, we lost the whole community aspect.

Change your thinking, change your life is a helpful approach when you are 100% the thing that is in your way.

The problem is:

  • it doesn't work for people who face systemic oppression because it does nothing to change things
  • it keeps you focused on changing yourself, instead of changing the things outside of you that hold everyone's dreams hostage
  • when you look more deeply, this approach is often about making your actual feelings wrong which is extremely problematic for everyone, but again, is going to work best for the people who have the most privilege and have experienced the least trauma.

Everything I wrote about in "We want a better world for everyone. How do we start?" shows how we're leaving most of the people in the world out when we take these kinds of approaches. Change your thinking change your life just leaves a lot of people all alone with their trauma and oppression.

When you're so focused on your own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs being the cause of what's happening in your life - how does that impact how you see a homeless person?

Do you think they should change their thoughts to change their life?

Do you think about the larger systemic issues that cause homelessness or do you think the individual just needs to change their thinking to change their life?

Because the focus on the individual as the cause/source of problems means we're not focused on community or understanding the systems we live within.

In "The New Age has a lot of shadow work to do. Let's do it together" I wrote about how the tools we are using are colonized and removed from their context.

That context IS community care. In the New Age we use those tools for individual gain.

When I was very new to that "Change your thinking change your life" church, a friend I had just met there was moving. She was on the board of directors, super active as a volunteer, and had tons of friends in the church. I assumed there would be a ton of people helped her move and this would be a cinch.

I was the only one who showed up.

That's when I first started to wonder about the lack of community care in the New Age community.

But what I wanted to write about is the New Age's inability to look at itself with any kind of clarity.

Which IS connected to that lack of community and focus on the individual and perspective that says "whenever I have a problem that means there is something IN ME that needs to change. I am the source of everything."

And again - to be honest that attitude helped me change all sorts of things, in me, that did need to change.

But at this point in my life, after ten years of making my living in this industry and after five years of making an honest effort to learn how to be anti-racist and to get educated about the realities of current day colonization - my perspective has REALLY changed.

We need a new way of approaching our personal/spiritual growth/healing work - with an anti-racist lens, which is by definition anti-colonial and anti-capitalist lens.

Because the whole "look within for the change you seek" thing IS helpful in SOME ways -  but what we lack is the CLARITY to apply it with DISCRETION.

We've been acting like we have the best hammer in the universe and absolutely everything we see becomes a nail.

We need to be able to see ourselves and our lives from a wider perspective, to see ourselves WITHIN the world we live in.

This is the stuff we miss using colonized tools from around the world - these tools all come from a community-minded context. Meanwhile we're using them in a colonized culture with a colonizer mindset.

And getting that CLARITY and WIDER PERSPECTIVE won't just help us be better citizens and won't just help us create a better world, it will help our own healing process as well.

Because the places where you've been stuck and stayed stuck are probably places where your own personal stuff INTERSECTS with systemic injustice.

So the tools that just heal and change YOU aren't going to change the problem.

Changing your thoughts is PART OF the solution but not the whole thing.

We need to dismantle systemic oppression.

Personal development and spiritual growth were never meant to happen isolated from community care and political involvement in the world you live in.

PS: The BREAKTHROUGH Alchemy Coaching Circle is next Saturday! I hope to see you there.

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There is no going back

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There is no going back

My dream sent me this amazing vision.

It was me, sitting in the coffee shop I used to go to, in my favourite spot - at the bar along the window, in the corner. My journaling stuff was all spread out. I had a delicious cup of coffee in my hands and noise canceling headphones in my ears. Outside the window the sun was rising the the sky was soft pinks and blues and lavenders.

I was SO FREAKING HAPPY to be back there. To feel the magic of my familiar old pattern. It felt like a healing.

But then my dream arrived, in the form of sparkling golden stars. It landed in my heart and I grew 4 stories tall.

The coffee shop did not grow and I didn't fit inside it anymore.

There is no going back.

My dream asked "Why on earth would you want to go BACK??!? The way foreword is FORWARD."

And suddenly I saw it. I've been waiting to GO BACK to my old beloved routines. I've been waiting to GO BACK to my old life.

I wanted to go back to my old ME.

But there is no going back.

That's what all those FEELINGS were about in the spring and summer... it's grief. The world changed and there is no going back and we don't know what what's next. Also it's hard for those kinds of thoughts to not trigger fears about how the world will change again with climate change, which won't be as gentle with us as Covid has been.

But my dream put a much more positive spin on it.

This time is an incubator.

I am growing in ways I don't see yet.

And I get to choose who I'll be next.

I can't go back to who I was, because you can't un-grow.

But I can choose who I'll be next and I can choose HOW I'll grow.

I mean of course I'll go back to my beloved coffee shop morning routines, but I'll be a new me.

It's breakthrough time.

There are so many ways we can fuel our growth at this time.

And we do this NOT by forcing a positive spin on what's happening or hiding in conspiracy theories.

We do it by facing what's actually happening. And tending to our reactions to what's happening, and bringing love and gentleness to all of the places in us that get triggered and re-traumatized.

Because facing the hard stuff is a part of being with the truth.

And the truth is: You are more powerful that your obstacles. That your creative genius always knows a way.

And this is how you create your breakthrough.

Come do this with me at the BREAKTHROUGH Alchemy Coaching Circle on the February Full Moon. This will help you see your way into a new story of what is actually possible for you RIGHT NOW.

February 27, at 11:00 am (Central, North America).

The cost: $33 USD **As a part of my commitment to being the change I want to see in the world, I do NOT price my work "what it's worth". 

What's included: The live circle, plus access to the replay, complete with a private comments section for anything you want to discuss after.

Special bonus to help you move into that new story and make yourself at home: After the Breakthrough Alchemy Circle, you also get access to my Dream Book program for one month! This includes the miraculous Dream Book journaling system, daily online masterminds, weekly printable journaling kits, a monthly new moon coaching call and access to my entire library of e-courses. It’s like having a Creative Dream Coach on call 24-7.

Can't make it live? The recording will be available within hours of the end of the event - so you can do your circle whenever you like. And there IS a private comments section for the replay - so you can still add your ideas or questions or get extra support in there - you don't have to attend live to be a part of the group.

Grab your spot here.

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You’re wrong about why you’re stuck

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You’re wrong about why you’re stuck

The only people who never get stuck are the people who are not going after their dreams.

You get stuck. I get stuck. We all get stuck.

It's fine to be stuck.

BUT

You're wrong about WHY you're stuck.

You're not quite seeing a part of your path clearly or you're caught up in something from the past or you just don't know what you don't know.

But once you see it more clearly - you'll also know how to get un-stuck. Those two things tend to happen together and they create the foundation for your breakthrough.

It really is that simple.

Every time.

We just make it seem complicated with all of the layers of stories we make up about why we're stuck and we can't get un-stuck, and also with a stubborn refusal to look at the thing we most need to look at.

I am not saying that you are the SOURCE of your stuck.

I'm working on a longer blog to share about that later this week - how a lot of New Age/Life Coaching approaches to getting un-stuck assume that you are 100% the cause of your problem and that leaves you powerless to get un-stuck when the cause of the stuck is any kind of systemic oppression.

And so the places where you have a hard time getting un-stuck are likely the places where your own stucks are intersecting with some forms of oppression that you face living in a patriarchal capitalist white supremacist colonialist culture.

Which does NOT mean that you are powerless to do anything about those stucks. It just means you need to take a different approach. But, again, I'll share more about that later this week.

Think about the place where you're stuck right now.

Really take a good long look at it.

And then imagine being un-stuck. Take a good long look at what being un-stuck will be like and feel like for you.

Then look back:

What's between where you are now and where you'll be then?

That's your breakthrough.

I know, it's probably all fuzzy and unclear.

It's right in the middle of your blind spot so it's very hard to see on your own, which is why it's so easy to be stuck.

So.

Come to the BREAKTHROUGH Alchemy Coaching Circle for the February full moon!

(The cost is $33 USD, to reflect my commitment to BE the change I want to seeing the world, and not charge a fortune because I think breakthroughs should be affordable because we all need them!)

In the circle we'll go deeper into this and you'll have a chance to see your situation in a whole new light.

You'll leave the BREAKTHROUGH Alchemy Coaching Circle with:

  • Clarity. The kind of clarity where you KNOW FOR SURE what to do next. Either you'll just get un-stUck right away or you'll know HOW to work with your stuck, if it will take more time to clear it.
  • And you'll get whole month of support for DOING THAT THING in my online creative mastermind so you have space to create LASTING CHANGE for yourself.

Get your spot here.

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We want a better world for everyone. So where do we begin?

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We want a better world for everyone. So where do we begin?

I have been writing about creating a world where everyone is supported and nurtured - physically and emotionally - where we don't have so much healing to do in order to be brave and go after our dreams with wild abandon.

But that's such a huge thing, it's like - where do we even begin?

In a sense, this is why I created the Creative Dream Incubator.

I struggled with my creative dreams all through my 20s. Once I gained some traction with my creative dreams, of course I wanted to share what I had learned with others.

I created the Creative Dream Incubator so that LOTS OF dreams could be born.

However, due to everything I wrote about in The New Age Has A Lot Of Shadow Work To Do, I wasn't recognizing that I was mostly just helping other similarly-privileged people make their dreams real.

In a very vague sense, all dreams come true can serve as a light to inspire others.

But I wasn't looking at where I, and my work, were plugged into systems of oppression.

And when I thought about doing more to actually help change the world so we're all free to pursue our dreams - it felt too big. So I told myself that my pursuing my dreams, and supporting my clients and followers was enough.

I told myself that I was helping to shift consciousness in a direction where real change would be possible... one day.

We need to stop thinking that changing the world is "too big" of a problem and just get to work.

It's only "too big" of a problem if you think that you need to already have all the answers and do everything on your own.

I mean OF COURSE I don't have all the answers and OF COURSE you don't have all the answers. It's not on either of us to do it on our own.

Everyone has a role to play because everyone is a part of the world.

While getting ready for Dreams + Art + Activism conversation I did with Mindy Tsonas Choi, Mindy spoke of how much power artists have to influence culture.

We can do this. NOW.

The same way we work with any dream - by following our inspiration.

BUT we need to make sure our efforts include everyone.

When we talk about society and privilege, most people tend to be in their own perspective, and facing towards those with MORE power, wealth and privilege.

So we see all of the power, wealth and privilege we DON'T have, in comparison to everyone who has more.

We need to face the other way, at all of the people with LESS power, wealth and privilege than we do.

More and more privileged people have been doing this the last few years and that's great. But you can't just name your privileges and leave it there. You need to look for ways to USE your privilege to help help dismantle privilege and level the playing field.

It's not true that a rising tide raises all boats.

This reminds me of about 12 years ago, at a Canadian New Thought Conference.

I was in a meeting with ministers and practitioners and I asked "What about people who have nothing? How are we helping them?"

The head of the organization looked at me with this amazingly smug expression and said "A rising tide raises all boats" and then changed the subject.

That's the blind white privilege that is so pervasive in the New Age community.

Going on about your business and pursuing your own dreams while ignoring systemic injustice is one of the things that allows systemic injustice to flourish in our culture. We need to take responsibility for this.

Figuring out how to address the issues that the people with the least privilege, wealth, and power are facing DOES help ALL PEOPLE.

This is how we create a culture that nourishes and supports everyone.

This is a culture that will actively nourish EVERYONE'S dreams.

I think the answer is to stay open.

Keep listening to people, especially people with different life experiences than yours.

For me - my thinking around this shifted as I began to read and follow more Black and Indigenous people (political leaders, artists, healers, writers) than white people. And more chronically ill and disabled people, more trans people.

We need to build a new culture, from the ground up, that takes into account EVERYONE'S needs.

I definitely don't know everything about how to do this. But I have become a LOT more willing to listen, and consider a lot of different perspectives now, not just my own. And that helps me learn.

I believe we can practice our way into having a more intersectional lens through which we look at the world. And that this will help serve everyone and their dreams immensely.

And we need to get out of our comfort zones with it.

In the 2019 federal election in Canada, I volunteered for Leah Gazan's campaign in my riding, Winnipeg Center.

I hate politics.

Everyone who knows me was surprised that I was doing this. My father was a politician when I was a kid, and I did volunteer on his campaigns (or can it be called volunteer when this is what your family is doing and you aren't given another option?) but I have not participated in any political activities since his last campaign, when I was 14.

My sister though it was particularly hilarious that I made my step-sons volunteer every week as well. It's surprising how quickly we become our parents.

The thing is, because of everything I'd been doing to see the world from a more intersectional perspective, I knew how important it is that we put the people with the least privilege into positions of power.

I mean - our political institutions should be filled with Indigenous women, not white men like they are now.

Leah is also an exceptional person and I knew she would make a big difference if she won, so I wanted to help. I'm lucky that my step-kids' mom's family is very close with Leah and I got to spend a lot of time with her. Leah taught me so much and made me feel HOPEFUL for our future.

The big thing I learned from Leah is that even here in our riding, which has the 3rd highest poverty rates of any riding in Canada, with poverty, violent crime and meth addiction spiralling out of control, the answers to all of the problems we face already exist, right here in the community.

The answers already exist.

We just need to support/fund them better.

We need to take care of each other.

We need to follow our inspiration about how to DO SOMETHING about the things that matter most to us. Little tiny baby steps DO create movement towards larger possibilities.

Remember that your creativity is powerful. We can do this. It's already happening.

Where do YOU feel inspired to take action?

Journal about your ideas and map out some baby steps you can start taking.

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Fumbling with our goals is sometimes the best way to reach them

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Fumbling with our goals is sometimes the best way to reach them

Yesterday was our monthly New Moon Alchemy Coaching Circle in Dream Book. While I was getting ready for it, I looked at my notes from January's call and was stunned to see the goals I had set then.

This last month I've done lots of things, but none of them were the things that I said I'd do, at last month's new moon circle.

I shared this at the start of our call, and said that I planned to put this month's goals into my daytimer as a way to hold them better.

Is that a failure as a coach or is it freedom to just follow my creative flow or is it something else?

I think of failing your monthly goals as a really good thing, as one of the ways that you learn what your dreams REALLY need and grow into the person who can do those things.

But I didn't fail at my goals. I dropped them, that's different.

Not to make excuses or anything, but I think it's the pandemic.

Should we use the pandemic as an excuse, or reasonable reason, to not bother with our goals?

I think some goals should absolutely be shelved right now. Like I wish giant corporations would put their profit goals aside and just focus on helping their employees and customers get through the pandemic safely.

Let me explain the difference between GOALS and DREAMS here.

Every month in the New Moon Alchemy Circle we set GOALS to that help us move towards our DREAMS over the following month.

DREAMS are nourishing and help us be our true selves. Dreams heal and grow us. We should NEVER not bother with our dreams because working with your dream is generative.

Especially now, we need the medicine of our dreams. And there are an infinite number of ways to work/play/grow with a dream - it's NOT all about the "setting and meeting goals" part. The inner aspects of Dream Work are especially valuable right now.

Dream Work is the high quality self care that we all need right now.

And the point of the new moon goal setting is to step OUT of our usual ways of being in our lives, step IN to an alchemy circle where anything is possible, and then check in with our dreams and our selves, and make a plan for where to focus next.

It's NOT all about the "making it happen" part. Some months are more about healing and restorative self care and incubating ideas.

But my story more complicated than this.

Because when I looked in my daytimer to add my goals this morning - well holy shit my goals WERE there all along, written in both the monthly goals section and in each week's to do list.

It just didn't FEEL anything like how I remember it FEELING during the new moon circle where I set the goal.

These moments of surprising ourselves are often a sign that we are growing, our perspective has shifted we don't recognize our own goals.

This is good. SO good.

It's just super confusing to navigate.

So here's what I am doing: I had a whole page about this in my Dream Book so I went back to update it, and took all of the ideas I had there and made a list. This month the goal is to spend time with each idea.

SPEND TIME can mean: journaling about it, meditating on it, taking action on it - just go with what I'm feeling in the moment, not trying to force myself into taking action.

It's very easy to FORCE a dream.

We can use willpower and hard work and an attitude of "I won't allow any negative thinking or self-sabotaging beliefs to get in my way" and just steamroll our way into a dream.

That's a great way to create the OUTER form of the dream.

You may not be happy with how it FEELS to be there though. It might be hard to hold onto it, it might be stressful to take care of it, it might not fit into the rest of your life and create other conflicts.

There are so many ways that dreams can go bad when we force them because we didn't take the time to HEAL and GROW into it.

On the other hand, it's also very easy to suffocate a dream from not taking enough action.

You can't just meditate and journal your way into a dream. This work should become the FUEL for the outer work.

Finding the right balance IS complicated.

It's NORMAL to get lost sometimes.

I think it's even necessary to get lost, to go too far to one side, because that can teach you things that you can use when you come back into a more balanced approach.

So I'm forgiving myself for not working with my goals the way I wish I had over the last month.

And committing to try again this month.

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Dancing On Our Turtle’s Back

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Dancing On Our Turtle's Back

I just finished reading Dancing On Our Turtle's Back by Leanne Betasamosake Simpson. She speaks to the regeneration of Indigenous culture which must fuel decolonization efforts.

Which is kind of obvious, but she writes about it in such a way that it makes decolonization feel inevitable. And it explains why projects like Adam Sings In The Timber's Indigenizing Colonized Spaces feels so powerful and meaningful.

Every act of resurgence of culture has an impact.

Most of books I have read about decolonization are written from a political/legal perspective.

And, as she says in this book, that's an important perspective to understand.

BUT - it's fighting colonization using the tools of the colonizer. Our political and legal systems are colonial, they have so many colonialist perspectives embedded in them, it is really hard to use them to create the kind of radical change we need to see.

So this book helped me to see a whole new WORLD of possibilities for HOW decolonizing can happen and what it could look like.

This book impacted me in a big way.

She shared a Nishnaabeg prophecy that had told people that the colonizers were coming over 500 years before they arrived.

Over 500 years, each generation moved further west, and spread out so that by the time the colonizers arrived, the Nishnaabeg were not as easily found.

They knew they couldn't stop the genocide that was coming.

They also knew that their own culture would be the thing that would save them.

So that's why they moved west and spread out, so that pockets of culture would survive - even when Canada made their language and spiritual practices and ceremonies illegal, even when Canada stole their children and tried to force them to assimilate to white culture.

Pockets of culture remained. And the prophecy told them that the occupation would eventually become less violent and there would be some space for a resurgence.

Now, each small act of resurgence helps to generate the conditions for Indigenous culture to be restored.

The final part of the prophecy is that Indigenous culture will help save settler culture - that only once the settlers saw that their ways were poisoning the water, air and land and threatening to destroy the whole planet, would they be open to change.

I'm not sure settler culture deserves to be saved.

But what really stood out to me is the long term thinking and planning.

The kind of leadership and community it takes for everyone to work together like that for 500 years so that they could save generations so far off in the future (!)

That's what CULTURE is.

We don't have that now. We're not even able to band together to save our own grandchildren from climate change. Or save each other from Covid!

Settler culture is garbage culture.

So I am thinking about the pandemic, through this lens.

What if taking care of each other was our ONLY priority?

We don't have the political will it would take to make different decisions about how we use our resources.

I would like to live in world where it wouldn't even be a difficult decision, where OF COURSE we just focus on taking care of each other.

I don't want to romanticize Indigenous wisdom.

That's one of the ways that the New Age has colonized Indigenous wisdom.

The world is complex.

But this book helped me see how a better world is possible, by focusing on culture, it's got me thinking in a different way and I wanted to recommend it.

Also, if you are white - read more books by Indigenous authors! It really helps you to see from a different perspective.

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I want to do better

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I want to do better

Last month I celebrated 10 years in business with the Creative Dream Incubator by offering a bunch of free classes and coaching - all the replays are available on this page - I recommend checking out the class on working with impossible dreams.

And as I thought about all the people I have worked with over the years, and how much each of them has struggled....how we all feel so much self doubt and fear and we held back in so many different internal and external ways....

And then I thought about how a lot of our inner stuff we have about our dreams, we have because we live in a word that is so hostile towards dreams....

And suddenly it was so clear.

No one is BORN timid with their dreams. We LEARN it, living in this culture.

And at the same time - after 10 years of creating courses and developing systems for doing this work - I've created the ultimate system (Dream Book) for helping people navigate the path from where they are to where they want to be.

Dream Book is creative and flexible and works for all kinds of dreams, for navigating both the inner and outer work. I use it every day to help me with my dreams and I love tending to the group in the Dream Book program...

But, for me, CREATING new programs take a lot more energy than FACILITATING programs does. Which means all of that creative energy I've been using to create new programs for the last 10 years can be used somewhere else now. And so...

I want the Creative Dream Incubator to be exploring: how do we change the culture so that we don’t have as many obstacles to work through?

I mean this in two ways:

How do we help to level the playing field NOW, in terms of racism, sexism, homophobia, ableism, classism, and all of the ways our political, social and financial structures oppress and fail us all, in varying degrees?

How do we create freedom, joy, and a good life for future generations?

There is so much I want to talk about

And I have a lot of thoughts about the intersection of white supremacy, capitalism and the life coaching/spiritual + personal growth industries and where the Live Your Best Life Industry actively contributes to systemic oppression.

It's time for the new age to grow up and be a force for good for ALL people and life on this planet.

All of the activism work I've been doing and learning about over the last 5 years I've done largely in my personal life. I didn't know how the Creative Dream Incubator could be a part of that. But this keeps coming up when I am talking with my friends in the industry and now I see a way to begin - by putting these conversations out here in public.

And I know from working with dreams that you don't have to know HOW. You just have to show up. So this is my commitment to start showing up.

I have been doing a lot of writing, and getting posts ready to share on my blog and social media accounts. I will start posting them this week.

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Dreams In Hard Times Mini-Class

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Pursuing Your Dream While The World (Or Your Life) Is In Chaos

Grab your journal and watch the Dreams In Hard Times mini-class now:

This class is a part of the FESTIVAL OF DREAMS - a whole month long deep dive into journaling and meditation.

Get the whole schedule of courses, coaching videos and creative dream challenges right here.

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How To Bring More EASE + FLOW into your Process.

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How To Bring More EASE + FLOW into your Process.

How to bring more EASE and FLOW into your process.

Grab your journal and watch now:

 

This class is a part of the FESTIVAL OF DREAMS - a whole month long deep dive into journaling and meditation.

Get the whole schedule of courses, coaching videos and creative dream challenges right here.

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Let's Get Your Dream!

Start the 10 day Creative Dream Journal Challenge Today:

(I'll also send you my Guided Journal for Creative Dreaming)

Get my free journal for Creative Dreaming: