I had the most chaotic and un-focused Dream Lab meditation.

There is a lot going on in my life. My mind is bouncing everywhere. I cannot, for the life of me, actually listen to what I am saying on the Dream Lab recording.

But I stay with it. Laying down comfortably. Attention drifting in and out.

This is ok!

Some days this is what it’s like.

It counts as a step!

It counts as “doing it”!

I am sharing this to cast a little spell:

That the next time you are having an experience like this, instead of feeling like you are doing it wrong or failing... I want you to remember this post and tell yourself:

THIS COUNTS. I SHOWED UP.  I TRIED. EVERYTHING DOES NOT NEED TO BE PERFECT EVERY TIME. IT'S FINE.

I AM PROUD OF MYSELF FOR SHOWING UP EVEN THOUGH TODAY IS NOT THE BEST DAY.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!

One of my big DREAMS for this year is to BE the artist that I AM, and explore what this even means and what I want to do about it.

This dream has really put me through the wringer.

I did start with this strong, physical sensation that I am not BEING the artist that I AM and I have felt so many different kinds of despair over not understanding how to bridge that gap.

Creative dreaming is brutal sometimes.

One thing I knew was that BEING the artist that I AM is not about what, specifically, I am creating. It’s not about anything that anyone else can necessarily see.

Of course, you can’t say “I’m an artist” and not have the next question coming at you be about what kind of art you produce.

We are culturally programmed to focus on the product.

But for me, to BE the artist that I AM is really much more about the BEING. And a big thing I learned this year is that all the time and effort I put in to trying to describe this in a way that might make sense to another person is absolutely wasted.

Next-level creativity is not usually a linear journey.

Like you start with 4x4” paintings and next level is 8x8” and you just keep going.

(Although of course at times “next level” really does mean going big in a physical way but that’s NOT the rule.)

Next level is also not about more complicated forms of art, or “better technical skill” which makes me cringe to write.

So we are culturally programmed to focus on the product. And I am personally trying SO FUCKING HARD to un-do a lot of colonial/extractive capitalist/Imperialist programming….

… but it still keeps popping up.

I still kept wanting to KNOW what it would LOOK LIKE. What kind of art I would make if I was truly BEING the artist that I AM?

And somewhere inside I was also putting so much pressure on myself to MAKE THAT ART and have it be so amazing and compelling and marketable that it would cement my worth as an artist and a human.

I mean - no pressure or anything.

lol! sob!

So I spent a lot of this year absolutely cemented stuck in with my inner critics and self doubt.

Which is not wrong! This was my process!

Getting so deep in there did help me see things in a new light, and I think I was able to loosen up a few really tight spots.

I’m feeling less encumbered by it all right now.

I’ve actually…. made art. Like on paper, outside of my journal (for some reason my inner critic absolutely will not acknowledge the books upon books I have filled with art because they are “just journals”)

I am not interested in sharing any of that art, which is fine!

And now I do feel inspired to begin new projects. In fact I went shopping this weekend for supplies and every time I look at them I feel SO MUCH JOY. And I haven't even started the projects yet!

But what amazes me is how there is this one inner voice that just won’t stop… it wants to map out the artistic process FROM THE END.

Like, reverse engineer it to GUARANTEE SUCCESS. So the art will %1000 (extra zero not a typo) cement my worth as an artist and human being.

START WITH THE GOAL. Then make art that will SUCEED in that environment.

Like. BLEGH.

That’s not AT ALL what BEING the artist I AM is.

And I’ve been through this almost-year-long process of trying to detangle all this shit so I can be more true to myself creatively.

And it just keeps rearing its ugly head.

This is ok.

This is not a failure.

This is the process.

Artists are meant to CREATE culture. The places where we betray our souls to comply with dominant culture are places where our light is dimmed.

And it’s really complicated because we live inside dominant culture and need to collude with it in some ways to survive. Plus all the ways we need approval, acceptance and belonging and all the layers of where that gets messy!

And I am NOT saying that all forms of art that get sold are sell outs!!!!

But right now I definitely need to keep wrestling with this, and working on what it means for me to create art WITHOUT thinking of an end goal, while focusing solely on BEING the artist that I AM.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!

My blog is where I share my on Creative Dream Alchemy practice. All of the tools I use are in the Creative Dream Incubator membership and I link to them often in my blog posts. Only membership members will be able to access the tools. If you're not a member yet - join us here!

On Fridays I do these "Dream Status Report" prompts to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path.

There are journaling sheets for doing this! These are available for everyone, not just membership members. Download them here.

Last week's report told me to: keep sitting with it.

I had already been slowing down and sitting with it... then last weekend I pulled tarot cards for the week that told me to... slow down, sit with it, lol.

So, I didn't take a lot of action, I kept listening to the soul of my business and the soul of the membership about what will be the most helpful in terms of how to launch/begin "Goodbye 2025 Hello 2026" and the start of Dream Book 2026.

(We have three Soul of your Business alchemy meditations: Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice, module 2 of the Creative Business Incubator and the meeting your dream and the soul of your business version of the Dream Lab.)

And then mid-week things started to come together and suddenly I was doing things without really thinking about them - like it just felt natural.

This is how it feels when Outer Work comes out of the Dream Work and Inner Work - the Dream Work and Inner Work create a new pathway for the Outer Work, you don't have to work to figure out each step.

How do I feel about this/What am I learning: It is SO MUCH easier to trust the process when you're at the part where can do the things you wanted to do, and can see progress happening.

What do I need now: To not put pressure on myself to DO ALL THE THINGS RIGHT NOW and stay patient, stay connected to the souls of the things, and my on creative soul, as I do the work. This is quite a lot of Outer Work, this is a bigger project than I've done in a while, and it feels like patience and slow steps will help it not feel daunting.

What does my dream need now (using the Dream Lab alchemy process): My dream show up as a raft with wings. Then it turns out I am sitting in the raft, and it just gently lifts me up... not very far! It felt like "You're almost there and I can lift you the rest of the way" which is just really reassuring. My dream needs me to trust it, and keep sitting with it.

Taking all of this into account my focus for next week is: Oh! I see how I can get out of alignment when I have a LOT of Outer Work to do. Like I get tunnel vision and then work work work and get a burned out. My focus is to not do that. To breathe, stay in alignment, take little steps, and check in often.

Co-Dreaming/Co-Working call is today! I hope to see you there!

We'll start with a short meditation for connecting with the soul of your dream (like the Dream Lab) and then have time for whatever you want to do - planning next week, working on your projects, sharing your updates, talking about something that is stuck with your dreams or just hanging out in the magic of the group.

Call details are here. Replay will be there a few hours after we're done today.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!

I’ve been thinking about the dreams that DON’T get encouraged by this world. The artists who are not understood. The healers who can’t put a sales funnel together if their life depended on it. The dreamer who gets told to be realistic.

We carry the medicine that the world needs.

This is true of everyone. If you’re alive now, you have medicine the world needs now.

When it feels like the world doesn’t appreciate what you have to offer… remember that it’s DOMINANT CULTURE that doesn’t appreciate what you have to offer.

THE WORLD ITSELF is very much cheering for your dreams. The whole universe wants your dreams to come true!

If your dreams will challenge dominant culture in any way then you’re going to have an uphill battle there. AND because you grew up inside dominant culture you’ll have inner voices that will doubt your worth because of it.

This is why you have to be working on three different fronts at once with your dreams:

DREAM WORK: SPEND MORE TIME SITTING WITH THE VISIONARY INSIDE YOU WHO UNDERSTANDS THE MAGIC AND POWER OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING. LET THIS PART OF YOU HAVE MORE SAY IN YOUR LIFE.

INNER WORK: SIT WITH THE SELF DOUBT THAT GETS SPARKED, MAKE SPACE FOR HEALING THESE PLACES IN YOU OR ELSE THEY WILL DERAIL EVERY PLAN YOU MAKE.

OUTER WORK: KEEP MAKING THE ART! 

When you tie these three together - this is the ALCHEMY that makes dreams real.

I can show you how to do this in the Creative Dream Incubator membership.

If you're already a member - use those links above to go to the libraries of practices for Dream Work, Inner Work and Outer Work. Send me a message if you're not sure which ones to work with, or just dive in and explore.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!

I have been struggling to write the sales page for Dream Book 2026.

First, I couldn’t figure out where to put it. Like physically, is it its own page, and then it links to the membership sales page? Isn’t that complicated? But isn’t it also complicated to add it to the membership sales page?

So many logistical questions. I couldn’t picture how this fits into the current ecosystem and thinking about it overwhelmed me.

I also don’t know how to talk about this in a way that makes sense to other people. This is something I have been exploring so deeply on my own, in the non-linear way that creativity tends to do, how do I turn around and make it make sense to people who haven’t been on these explorations with me?

I felt the way I often do writing sales pages - like I just want to give up on everything. My “sales page writing resistance” is very dramatic.

At the same time, I am exploring my capacity and the ways I work. Accepting my changing energy in mid-life and looking for ways to work WITH it instead of fighting it or trying to squeeze out every bit of creativity and productivity that I can.

And then the answer was simple.

It’s so funny to me, all these years into doing this work, how tripped up I get over my own questions… when if someone in the membership asked me that question I would give them much better advice.

But that’s hard to do when you are IN IT.

Anyway, the answer is to use the Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice meditation.

There is a 30 minute meditation there, with journaling sheets. The meditation is very general but you can go into it with a very specific question about what you are doing. It helps you really LISTEN to yourself, the soul of your business, your creative and spiritual gifts and the people that they are meant to help.

So that’s what I did.

I used the meditation to show me what the sales page needs to be. The part where you have that light that represents the gifts of what you have to offer - I was specifically making that be about Dream Book 2026 and how to talk about it.

It’s a 30 minute meditation but it took me about 90 minutes to work through it, and I didn’t actually finish the recording - I kept pausing to sit with the questions longer, to apply them to this sales page question.

Within 90 minutes, I had a good “blurb”. Good as in IT FEELS GOOD and I think it describes the program well.... AND I can keep editing/adjusting as I go, but I have something to start with.

It's not a full sales page on it’s own but enough to explain what this is and how it adds to what you get in the membership. I can put it on the current sales page, and I can use it in emails and social media posts and now I see that it is NOT that complicated.

Here is my blurb, which I will now make some artwork for and start sharing!

Dream Book 2026: Holding space for your self, your dreams + the future you want to create

These are the times when artists, healers + visionaries need to get to work… and these are the times when it’s the hardest to get to work.

I’ve been sitting with this dichotomy, and asking the soul of the Creative Dream Incubator what to do about it.

Dream Book 2026 is the answer.

What it looks like: Filling a 2026 planner with dreams AKA turning a planner into a DREAMER!

What it is: A dailyISH practice program… in that we are playing with SIMPLE ways to show up so you CAN show up every day… but you don’t HAVE TO do it every single day. First, we'll set up the planner to hold your intentions for the year, then each month we'll experiment with a different way of doing this.

What it is also: a way of HOLDING SPACE for yourself and your process of connecting more deeply to yourself, your spiritual and creative gifts, your inner knowing and your power. Your magic.

What it does: Helps you take SMALL steps more consistently, making it more creative + playful to get engaged… so it’s easier to plug in more deeply to your own soul, your creative and spiritual gifts, your medicine. 

And also is a creative way of documenting your process of showing up for yourself during these difficult times.

Who it's for:

• Anyone who thinks filling a PLANNER with DREAMS sounds fun!
• Also anyone who likes the idea of having simple little steps to take, but doesn't want to get a planner just for this - you can use any notebook for this.
• When I say "These are the times when artists, healers + visionaries need to get to work" you know that I am talking about YOU
• People who want some structure + support for being more intentional and powerful... while also being really free to do it their own unique way. In this program, everyone's planner will NOT look the same.

Dream Book 2026 happens in the Creative Dream Incubator membership. You don’t need to “be political” but know that on our group calls, when it’s appropriate, we address the state of the world, and it’s impacts on us, from a progressive worldview. You can’t get around an obstacle that you can’t name - so naming racism, colonialism, extractive capitalism, ableism, sexism, etc help us find ways to free ourselves and others.

For people who are already doing the full Dream Book program and the people who are thinking of doing it:

Dream Book 2026 works in tandem with the full Dream Book program!

Dream Book itself is a deep dive - a full on guide for navigating the space between where you are and where you want to be. Dream Book 2026 is a daily(ISH) companion to that work.

Dream Book 2026 makes creative dreaming easy enough to do when you have no energy for it… Dream Book gives you the support to go deeper as your capacity allows.

You can do one or the other or both or switch back and forth between them. 

Dream Book is a BIG step to take into your dream. and sometimes we can’t take such a big step! So Dream Book 2026 is like putting smaller steps in between you and the full Dream Book, steps you CAN take.

Your Dream Book 2026 Planner will hold space for you to take tiny steps, keep showing up in whatever way you can, and keep listening to yourself.

Dream Book 2026 is starting on January 1 in the Creative Dream Incubator membership.

Can't wait to do this with you!

Our next Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice call is TODAY!

Get the call details here.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!

Dream Book 2026 will start on Jan 1.

These are 2 promotional videos I made talking about it (any course videos for Dream Book 2026 will come with transcripts, but these don't have them).

You can see I laugh when I say... turn your PLANNER into a DREAMER. I hadn't thought of it in that way until it came out of my mouth in this video and I really love it. We are turning our planners into dreamers in 2026!

Dream Book 2026 is a daily(ISH) practice for 2026. We're going to fill a daily planner with DREAMS.

This was inspired by my Year of Hope project for 2025, I shared more about that in this video. Showing up every day ISH to fill this planner with hope really shifted things for me, and though I want to shift from HOPE to DREAMS as the focus - I never want to be without this practice.

For the people who hate the idea of using a daily planner: That's ok! You can use anything!

A binder or other notebook or random loose papers - anything will work.

Getting a daily planner to do this in is an intentional act of saying: I commit to showing up all year. I already have pages with every day of the year written on them, and I commit to filling them up with dreams.

This also will work with a weekly planner if you want less space for journaling! And there are more details about the planners I use in our classroom in the membership. (That page will be updated over the new few months as I get the content together)

How it will work:

In January we'll set up the planner/notebook to be intentional for what you want to create and call in in 2026.

The Goodbye 2025 Hello 2026 journal, and the Hello 2026 Dream Blessing Ceremony will feed into this. (More details on those coming - membership members - get those details here)

By daily(ISH) I mean: this is a SMALL, SIMPLE + FUN practice that you CAN do every day. If you miss some days - that's fine!

As I said in the video, my goal with my big planners this year was to fill them by the end of the year. Sometimes I get a bit ahead of myself, sometimes I've been 2 weeks behind. It's ok, it will even out in the end.

This is a simpler more playful way of engaging with your dream, than the full on Dream Book program.

I think of it as a companion to Dream Book. But you can do it without ever having done Dream Book!

The beauty of Dream Book 2026 is that it's a simpler way to engage with your dreams...

And when you engage your dreams... you create a portal into the MAGIC.

So excited to start this in January!!

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!

My blog is where I share my on Creative Dream Alchemy practice. All of the tools I use are in the Creative Dream Incubator membership and I link to them often in my blog posts. Only membership members will be able to access the tools. If you're not a member yet - join us here!

On Fridays I do these "Dream Status Report" prompts to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path.

There are journaling sheets for doing this! These are available for everyone, not just membership members. Download them here.

Last week's report told me to: map it out.

I wasn't quite sure how everything I wanted to do fit together so I drew out a calendar of December and January in my journal and starting putting things in to see how they fit.

Mostly I am listening to the soul of my business and the soul of the membership about what will be the most helpful.

(We have three Soul of your Business alchemy meditations: Marketing as a Creative + Spiritual Practice, module 2 of the Creative Business Incubator and the meeting your dream and the soul of your business version of the Dream Lab.)

I am doing a 12 week program with Dra. Rosales Meza on decolonizing and offering your gifts in the spirit of decolonizing the world, and some parts are very similar to the work we do with the souls of things, and this work has me going deeper with how I listen to the soul of my business.

So I've been doing a lot of listening this week.

Giving myself space to get out of my habitual ways of being and doing to listen more deeply to what is being called for now.

The stress of the world is just unreal.

It's so loud and so heavy it's taking me longer than usual to get through it, to listen clearly to the soul of what wants to emerge. But I am getting there.

 

How do I feel about this/What am I learning: There are just so many layers of acceptance to work through in terms of accepting that we are where we are, in terms of what is happening in the world. Each time I feel a bit more grounded and accepting the ground breaks apart beneath me and I am scrambling again.

BUT as this happens I am also connecting more with who I want to be in these times and how I want to respond. The knowing that THESE ARE THE TIMES WHEN ARTISTS, HEALERS AND VISIONARIES GET TO WORK has been louder in me.

And I am taking slow, small steps towards starting larger art projects.... THAT I DO WHEN I FEEL FLATTENED BY THE WORLD. All caps to express how revolutionary and exciting this feels for me.

Like, larger embroidery projects that I plan out when my brain is more clear and focused, but actually stitch when I am down. As a way of soothing myself in the moment AND of bringing this part of me into my work in a way I don't actually understand yet. But it feels really exciting.

What do I need now: Still more time with the timeline I sketched out, and to sit with the souls of the things to find out what they need and where they want to be on the timeline.

What does my dream need now (using the Dream Lab alchemy process): My dream showed up as a rainbow. It felt like this rainbow came after a storm, like a rainbow will always come after a storm and a dream may come after some hard times.

Taking all of this into account my focus for next week is: Keep sitting with this and making space to really HEAR the soul of my business, the soul of the membership and my own creative soul about how I am doing the Goodbye 2025 Hello 2026 and Dream Book 2026 programs and get a plan in place.

Co-Dreaming/Co-Working call is today! I hope to see you there!

We'll start with a short meditation for connecting with the soul of your dream (like the Dream Lab) and then have time for whatever you want to do - planning next week, working on your projects, sharing your updates, talking about something that is stuck with your dreams or just hanging out in the magic of the group.

Call details are here. Replay will be there a few hours after we're done today.

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!

This is from the DREAMING with the Soul of Money meditation from Module 2 of the new Late Stage Capitalism Update to the Creative With Money program. DO NOT do this one until you've worked with the meditation + journaling kit in module 1 for at least a month. Give the seeds some time to incubate.

 

One of my money dreams is to GIVE MORE to organizations near me who are doing good work.

In the meditation I was dreaming about this and dreaming bigger and bigger about how much money I could give away and the soul of money tensed up and didn’t like it.

I was surprised. Why don’t you like this?

The soul of money said: "This is not what money is for or how it should operate! One individual having so much they can make or break a helpful, grassroots organization? NO."

"One individual amassing so much they can choose which organizations get funding? NO."

I think again to the qualities of the Creative With Money Energy Field: Support. Sustenance. Nourishment. Growth. Possibility

Money should flow, yes. Giving is good, yes. But yes I hear what the soul of money is saying, too.

This isn’t how I want to dream. Feeling good about giving SO MUCH away that it changes what is possible for who I give it to is a capitalist dream. Dreaming of amassing more so I can give it away is a capitalist dream.

The soul of money doesn’t want to exist inside these kinds of power dynamics.

I come back to the questions… if I want to dream bigger about money what does that mean?

It means dreaming of a Universal Basic Income. And fair taxation and strong social programs. Grassroots organizations being publicly funded by everyone not from one hero donor.... or those orgs not being needed because we take care of everyone.

These are my dreams.

A part of me is like.. but I can’t DO this on my own, how do I DREAM about it?

And another part of me is like… but you have 15 minutes to dream in this meditation, you are not doing anything anyway and not all dreams need to be all about you doing it on your own! Dream, girl!

So I dreamed of how my community would transform… I saw myself walking around in my city feeling so safe and seeing everyone around me so happy. Everyone is supported and has what they need.

And... I feel how this frees up my energy to be more creative in my own projects.

 

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!

I took myself out for coffee to do a coaching session with myself because doing this at home… I’d be more likely to just walk away. I am having a lot of resistance. 

When I specifically go somewhere with my journal, to work on a specific thing - I am so much more likely to actually DO IT. So this is one way I work through my resistance.

Today, I wanted to coach myself about how I feel like I am flailing about a lot and don’t really have my shit together.

I sat down. Looked through my journals and my project management app to get this overview of what I’ve been wanting to do and what I have been doing.

And this is the thing: I am doing just fine.

I FEEL LIKE I am just flailing about sometimes and I FEEL LIKE I need to get my shit together.

And I let that feeling take over.

And I listened to what it has to say as though it is true.

When what is true is that I FEEL this way, which means this feeling needs to be TENDED TO and not OBEYED.

Like, this feeling has me believing that there is a way to organize myself where I always feel like I know exactly what I am doing and I always “have it together”.

Well.

That leaves no space for creativity, growth or healing.

Which are inherent parts of my work. And any creative work. And any soul work.

My coach self is like “There’s nothing to coach here, we just need to accept that we feel how we feel and make some space for that”

My self with all the feelings is like “No, we need to come up with more structure so that I never have to feel this way”

A hand on heart for all the inner selves who want to change the outer world so they never have to have their feelings.

So where can we find the balance between:

Having space for healing, creativity and growth. Having space to BE IN and FOLLOW my own process…

AND…

Having structure that helps me know/remember what I am doing?

Ok just writing that out I can see that this is kind of a nonsense question. I mean maybe that would be a fruitful thing to explore but it feels like I am searching for something that can't exist and perhaps wasting the time I do have for creativity...

A more interesting question would be: What do I really WANT when I say I want to feel like I have my shit together? What does this mean, exactly? How would it feel? What would my life look like? .... Are there some unreasonable expectations buried here?

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!

It’s just above zero and I took a 20 minute bike ride to meet a friend for coffee. I’m wearing all things I made: a hoodie dress, puffer vest and trench coat. I am cozy, warm and colourful (once I take off my coat).

Sewing has been such an important form of creative self expression and creative self care for me for the last two years. 

One of the first things I did when my husband left me was sew this trench coat. I already had the pattern and fabric sitting there, and I remember deciding to really dive in. Working through all of the details of it were a really nice distraction from the stress. And watching it come together was so satisfying.

Then, I was feeling like with so much changing in my life… I wanted new clothes. I was becoming a new version of myself and this version didn’t want to only wear my old self’s clothing, it wanted some new things.

My pace slowly picked up that year, and for this last year I have been on what can only be described as a sewing BINGE. I’ve averaged almost one new thing every week.

And this includes BIG projects: a winter coat, two raincoats, a nightgown with sewn-in ultra comfy bralette, two hooded robes and three elaborate ruffled dresses, jeans, cargo pants - and also lots of small projects like t-shirts, sweatpants, hoodies and simple dresses.

And now, putting on clothes I made just feels… healing. I created these things with careful thought to my comfort and needs and self-expression.

Yes, my life fell apart. Yes, a marriage is a dream and sometimes dreams fall apart. I didn’t choose to be in the process of creating a whole new life while also struggling with perimenopause while the world descends into fascism all around me, but here I am.

I was lucky enough to grow up with a mom who sewed a lot of my clothes. I have had a dream of sewing all of my clothes since I as 16 years old and made myself a very simple dress that I LOVED. Two years later I decided to choose to go to university for fashion design, but that actually leaves very little space to sew your own clothes. 

But I was in my late 30s before I was consistently sewing clothes for myself that I loved. It took that long before I had the combination of time, space, equipment and money to throw at this. 

And since then, I have only gotten better at it. Each new project helps me better understand what works for me, so these days, and for the last eight years at least, I don’t make a lot of duds. Before that - it wasn’t that uncommon to spend the time and money on a fabric and pattern and have the garment be kind of (or a lot!) disappointing.

Creativity is generative. When we can find the smallest ways in, being in the process will grow us and change everything.

Fashion is an arena where it’s hard to find really SMALL ways in, and In hindsight of course I could have looked for ways to start smaller which probably would have made it easier to get to the bigger project of consistently sewing garments that turn out like I’d hoped much sooner.  

I am happy with my journey as it was AND looking to learn from it.

For the things I want to do next: where can I find smaller ways in, so I can get into the generative healing qualities of being in the creative process sooner?

 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

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If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!

My blog is where I share my on Creative Dream Alchemy practice. All of the tools I use are in the Creative Dream Incubator membership and I link to them often in my blog posts. Only membership members will be able to access the tools. If you're not a member yet - join us here!

On Fridays I do these "Dream Status Report" prompts to help me have more clarity, momentum and groundedness on my path.

There are journaling sheets for doing this! These are available for everyone, not just membership members. Download them here.

I've been mentioning them every week, but I still want to start with a little plug for: Habits Upgrade + Structure, Habits Routines in the membership. I am ridiculously grateful to make some habit changes that are helping me in so many ways.

This week I gave myself more SPACE.

I have a few things I am working on - the Goodbye 2025, Hello 2026 journal is getting an update over last year. I am still figuring out a live call to go with it and how that fits with starting Dream Book 2026 on January 1.

When I meditate with the souls of the things it all feels good, like they feed each other, but then out of the meditation, here in the "real world" I am not quite sure what to do. I don't see how the logistics quite fit.

 

THIS MEANS I NEED MORE TIME FOR DREAM WORK. This does not mean I am doing anything wrong or need to pressure myself to figure it out.

When you know what you want to do, and you're NOT feeling afraid/doubt/tangled up in some way... but you still haven't quite do the thing... this means you need more Dream Work before you can get into the Outer Work. This is Creative Dream Alchemy.

(When you ARE feeling tangled, of course Inner Work is what you need to focus on)

 

How do I feel about this/What am I learning: Last week I wrote: I feel like I am making space to go DEEPER into the Creative Dream Incubator.  And that's what I did this week which is... awkward. I'm not in charge of the process! I am listening. What I am mostly learning here is that I need to keep slowing down to do this next part. Remember Slow the Fuck Down! BE as Powerful, Creative + Magnetic as you ARE call?  That magic is still sinking in for me.

What do I need now: Writing this out, suddenly I'd like to sketch out a timeline of how I see these two programs interacting over the months of December and January. I feel like "I can't believe I haven't done that yet" and "this is so obvious" but the obvious answers don't always make themselves known right away.

What does my dream need now (using the Dream Lab alchemy process): My dream showed up as a four leaf clover, and the Field of Creative Dream Alchemy was a rainbow that curled around me. It felt like a BLESSING from my dream and I am just holding onto that good energy.

Taking all of this into account my focus for next week is: Sketch out what I'd like December and January to look like in terms of Goodbye 2025 Hello 2026 and Dream Book 2026. Use this to get a plan in place for what needs to happen in November to have that ready.

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!

 

 

This is from the alchemy meditations in Late Stage Capitalism Update to the Creative With Money program.

This is brave and powerful work. You may not feel brave or powerful.

I say this in each of the meditations in the Late Stage Capitalism Update.

This program is so healing and so needed. The way money functions in the world has changed so dramatically, we need to update our inner relationship with the soul of money, clear out what needs to be cleared out, make space for the healing that is needed, and set new intentions for our money lives.

So I say this in the meditation:s: This is brave and powerful work. You may not FEEL brave or powerful for a few reasons:

1. This IS brave and powerful work and often we don’t recognize that.

We can feel like our relationship with money is a mess and so we need help and fail to recognize what a POWERFUL MOVE it is to do this work.

Like - we really don’t give ourselves enough credit for how consistently we show up for healing and growth. So I want to give you credit.

2. And also to remind you that engaging with your healing and your relationship with money is POWERFUL.

Small acts can yield big shifts.

3. This is sacred work and should be acknowledged as such.

And then I also want to say… it’s ok to feel how you feel!

You can FEEL afraid and powerless, that doesn’t change that you are BEING brave and powerful.

You can feel exactly how you feel and in fact, validating and allowing your actual feelings will help you work through them.

All the forms of healing that ask you to “focus on the positive” do such a huge disservice in that way, leaving all of your uncomfortable feelings trapped inside you.

It’s ok to have a lot of feelings about where you’re at with money. It makes sense.

You deserve to have some support with that.

If you haven’t yet, I want to encourage you to explore the Late Stage Capitalism Update to Creative With Money. 

Creative Dream Incubator Coaching Membership members:

Come to the forum to share your Dream Status Report or start a conversation about whatever you're working with.

Get your next Dream Book lesson or get a weekly journaling + alchemy kit.

Go the Library of Creative Dream Alchemy to find a practice that fits for where you are or use the Dream Lab if you're not sure where to start.

Check out the calendar of upcoming calls. Make a plan to join us live or catch a replay.

If you're not a member - find out more + join us here!