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When you’ve been accused of cultural appropriation in your spiritual, wellness or coaching business

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Photo by Content Pixie on Unsplash

You've been accused of cultural appropriation in your spiritual, wellness, or coaching business.

You have nothing but good intentions.

You don't know why people are being so mean about it.

Everything you try to do seems to make it worse.

And you're not sure what to do next.

Your reaction is normal.

Notice how you are feeling, notice where those feelings are in your body.

If you feel afraid, ashamed, angry, defensive, righteous....

If your skin feels hot.

If your blood pressure has risen.

If you are breathing fast and shallow.

Just notice everything that's happening in your body. Notice the thoughts that are repeating in your mind. Notice your reaction.

You need to give yourself space for this, or else you'll react from your reaction and that will make everything worse.

You're a wellness practitioner or a coach. You have tools. Use them.

What do you need to do, to soothe yourself and come back to center?

Do it now.

You need to be grounded, centred, and able to listen to perspectives that are vastly different than yours.

You need to open your heart wide enough to see the pain you've caused.

At this point, you probably still want to focus on explaining your good intentions.

I promise - this is NOT the time to explain your good intentions. Trying to do that WILL make this worse for you.

You have an opportunity here.

This situation can help you grow and learn how to become an ally to the people you respect enough to honour their traditions or practices in the way you are doing.

I understand - you had good intentions, you meant to honour, but people are saying you are NOT honouring, you are appropriating.

This is an opportunity for you to learn what it would look like to ACTUALLY honour, in a way that those you are honouring FEEL honoured.

The temptation for most healers/guides/coaches at this point is to go into spiritual bypass.

I promise you, your answer is here on earth. Stay with us.

DO NOT speak of "one race" or unity or anything along those lines.

The fact is, the people you have been accused of appropriating from have a VASTLY different life experience than you have because white people are treated differently in the world. Calls for unity erase these realities, erase the pain and suffering and oppression of racism.

Which means: ANYTHING you say calling for unity is actually violent. It's a dismissal of other people's pain. A refusal to acknowledge the reality of what systemic racism does to people.

And, to the people who experience that pain every day, it really makes you look like a clueless ass.

Do better.

This morning, I had an email from one of my students saying "Hey thanks for those new videos you posted yesterday, I am finding them helpful! But I think you uploaded the 7th one twice, so the 8th one is actually missing."

It's true. I made a mistake. I somehow ended up with 2 copies of the 7th video and named them 7 and 8, and then uploaded them that way, and now this person is watching the same video twice.

I said "Thanks for letting me know! You're right, video 8 IS just a copy of video 7! I have fixed it. You can watch the real video 8 now, here it is."

If this person had mentioned in their email that not being able to see video 8 right way had caused pain in any way, of course I would have added an apology and asked what I could do, besides uploading the correct video, to make amends.

We all mess up sometimes. Then we apologize and make amends.

It was easy for me to quickly make amends in the case of the missing 8th video because I didn't have any kind of emotional reaction to what I was accused of.

I didn't waste any time in "HOW FUCKING DARE YOU? I DID NOT UPLOAD THE SAME VIDEO TWICE!!!!!"

I didn't feel attacked, and then react from that feeling and set out to attack my accuser.

No drama was created.

When you've been accused of cultural appropriation online I know it FEELS like something different. It FEELS like being ganged up on and "cancelled".

But really, it's just people letting you know that you made a mistake and your actions are actually doing harm.

Continue to notice if you feel charged, and do your work to calm yourself.

White people respond is VERY similar ways to accusations of cultural appropriation and racism. (You can google it, it's called White Fragility and I promise, everything you want to say to your online accusers is covered there in the descriptions of white fragility responses.)

This is because our nervous systems get activated.

We're afraid.

We feel attacked.

And we attack back.

In the Live Your Best Life Industry, we tend to attack back with spiritual by-pass - all the unity talk and accusing your accusers of "being triggered" and "needing healing" and "I'll pray for you" while placing yourself on some kind of spiritual by-pass pedestal where actually you did nothing wrong.

Accept that you made a mistake.

Cultural appropriation contribues to systemic oppression.

This is because cultural appropriation is NOT just about you honouring or being inspired by a thing from another culture and then taking it and using it in your business.

Cultural appropriation happens within colonial systems that oppress the Indigenous population while supporting the non-Indigenous population.

For example, in Canada and the USA traditional Indigenous spiritual practices were made illegal, as a part of the process of colonization. Those who continued, had to do so at great cost to themselves. Even today, the path of a traditional medicine person is about a million times more difficult than the path of a white online coach or healer.

While those laws are no longer in effect, their effects are still very much in effect.

For non-Indigenous people to come along, and do nothing to help Indigenous people mitigate those effects, and just take the spiritual practices and sell them themselves...

Are you seeing it now?

There is no such thing as Cultural Appreciation. The opposite of cultural appropriation is COLLABORATION.

In this industry, most forms of cultural appropriation are about profiting from the theft and colonization of Indigenous practices.

This is particularly hurtful because the Indigenous groups where the practices come from are still living under the oppression of colonization.

Journal prompts for when you've been accused of cultural appropriation:

Continue to do your work to calm your nervous system, not get emotionally reactive, and consider each of these questions with an open mind:

What is your relationship with the culture you are taking this thing from?

How would it feel to speak, face to face, to a person from this culture, and explain why you are selling this thing? Do you believe that they have had the same privileges in life that would allow them to sell this thing as easily as you can? If they are not making money from this but you are, what would you tell them about why that is?

If this person historically lived on the lands that you now occupy, what do you know about how this land came to be yours? What do you know of how this has impacted the original inhabitants who are still here?

Do you understand the full history of the thing you've taken? How was it originally used? What was the culture around it? How is your culture different?

How are you participating in the healing, decolonization, empowerment, and liberation of the culture you are taking this thing from?

Does the way you are offering this thing contribute anything to the people that you took it from?

Continue to do your work to calm your nervous system and read everything that's been said to you. Where did you make a mistake? Of course you had good intentions, but as you read what's been said to you, are you truly understanding the IMPACT of your actions?

If you want to be spiritual about it: this situation IS happening for a reason.

That reason is to contribute to YOU waking up.

Instead of culturally appropriating - you could be COLLABORATING.

And using your good intentions to make amends and build bridges.

This is a part of the work that builds a better world.

I know you do the work you do because you believe in a better world.

And I hope you trust me when I say: the places where you are culturally appropriating are your blind spots and they're stopping you from being an effective helper in creating a better world.

As white people growing up in white supremacy, we're all hooked into it's power.

Un-hooking is the REAL waking up.

This accusation is your opportunity to begin. I hope you take it.

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Janet published her book!

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I am SO HAPPY to share with you Janet Gerson's new book: Reclaimative Post-Conflict Justice: Democratizing Justice in the World Tribunal on Iraq.

Janet's deep commitment to peace has been so inspiring to me.

It's easy to feel daunted and "too small" and "what can I possibly do" about world peace, and yet Janet shows up and works hard and brings her all to the process of peace.

We can all learn a lot from her.

Janet is a long-time participant in Dream Book, and she says the Creative Dream Incubator has been instrumental in helping her pursue this accomplishment. Yay!

I know that a lot of you have books in you to share, and I hope Janet's success helps inspire you.

Drs. Janet Gerson and Dale Snauwaert’s forthcoming book Reclaimative Post-Conflict Justice: Democratizing Justice in the World Tribunal on Iraq (WTI) examines the historic case of the WTI’s global civil society tribunal, a creative collaboration organized non-hierarchically to record, analyse, and demand accountability for the 2003 war and occupation of Iraq. Reclaimative post-conflict justice is a new conception for grounding the revitalization of democratic ethics underlying justice and peace. Previous scholarship on post-conflict justice tribunals has been conceptualized along two lines, retributive as exemplified by the Nuremberg Tribunal after World War II or restorative as exemplified by the South Africa Truth and Reconciliation Commission. The WTI enacted a third form, reclaimative post-conflict justice. The WTI’s purpose was not to punishment, nor the restoration of political legitimacy, nor clarification of Iraq’s boundaries, but to enact a democratizing and deliberative model, which exemplifies a dialogical turn in various methodologies of normative justification. Reclaimative justice and its democratic tribunal form exemplified by the WTI are basic elements of post-conflict justice, in that they constitute a methodological procedure necessary for the normative justification and thereby appropriate for key tribunal questions of legitimacy, legality, and accountability, and agency. In this way reclaimative democratizing justice as organized through the WTI’s deliberative and democratizing processes aligns with the methodological procedures of contemporary normative theories of justice.

What was your inspiration for writing the book?

The World Tribunal on Iraq (WTI) was an outstanding global people’s tribunal, one that documented what no government or official institution acknowledged – the illegitimacy and illegality of the Iraq War and occupation. The WTI modelled positive globalization as peace action -- global citizens coordinating justice as accountability, agency, and responsibility.

What does your book do differently to similar titles?

Citizens and people’s tribunals typically publish documentation of their forums. However, Reclaimative Justice places the WTI within the ethical and historical contexts of exemplar tribunals -- retributive, restorative, and alternative. The World Tribunal on Iraq (Sökmen, Ed., 2008) documentary text provides a history of the Iraq war and occupation from the perspectives of international law and state sovereignty, but importantly from violations against people of Iraq, the environment, cultural history, and of global civil society for the right to peace. This book brings out what is most innovative about the WTI’s “creative assertion” – how the WTI Coordination used a democratic ethic of participation, non-hierarchical organizing, deliberation, and consensus decision-making to demonstrate how non-domination, communicative action, and nonviolence can be the basis of justice.

What new insights has the book revealed?

Reclaimative democratizing justice in the WTI demonstrates the necessity of transnational interdependence and a global civic culture for conceptualizing democracy and justice. In the modern era, democracy and justice have been couched in the context of the nation-state. However, the increasing recognition of various dimensions of transnational interdependence -- economic, political, legal, ethical, cultural, and ecological -- suggests that our national conceptions of democracy and justice are outdated. The WTI brought together thousands of people from all over the world, from diverse disciplines, experiences, and even ideologies. The WTI instantiated in practice many of the ideas concerning global democracy and justice that we have understood to have philosophical validity based upon reasoned argument and the standards of normative justification that that reasoning is based upon. It constitutes an enactment of fundamental normative principles that are of great significance for the ongoing pursuit of democracy and justice, locally and globally.

Get the book here.

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My new dream: The Creative Dream Incubator Press

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I can trace the roots of this dream back realllllly far.

In 2015, I started creating + sending out a weekly journaling kit, and have sent out a weekly journaling kit every week since then!

And then in 2017 I self-published 2 guided journal/colouring books which are no longer available. And, of course, my Journal Cards for Dreamers.

I loved those books and cards, and I had ideas for dozens more, but it didn't quite feel like the right time, and other projects took precedent.

Then in the last year, this dream came back with a vengeance, and with much more clarity and heft.

In hindsight, I can see that I needed to develop my ideas which became Creative Dream Alchemy and the Dream Book approach to journaling while also developing my visual voice (by creating the weekly journaling kits) for how I want to create the guided journals.

Everything fell into place... except the logistics around publishing, printing, sales and distribution. Just that little piece 😉

I've had a lot of ideas for how to do this.

I've done a lot of research.

And I got very tangled up in everything I learned.

This is a TOTALLY NORMAL stage of creative dreams. When you dig in and start looking at all of the details OF COURSE you will get lost in them.

In 2017 I published those books through Amazon because their self publishing system is really simple. They make it easy to sell your book almost anywhere in the world.

BUT seeing how much profit Amazon made during the pandemic while not paying taxes or treating their employees well, I stopped using Amazon as a customer and didn't want to use them with my business.

So I went ahead with a non-Amazon option.... but by the time I had my first journal ready to publish, the retail cost was $200 - plus shipping! It was a GORGEOUS journal with luscious paper but I really don't want these journals to be precious.

Then as I sat with this tangly mess of ideas and obstacles and dreams and wishes I realised that I have only THREE priorities right now:

  1. Dream Book: both as a participant and leader
  2. Making new guided journals
  3. Epic Self Care/feeling good and enjoying myself

That's all.

I don't want to gather and manage a team and build a publishing empire... right now.

And I don't want to keep figuring out the details of the physical journals.

The idea of just making my journals and putting them out there in a simple way by myself feels REALLY REALLY GOOD.

There are no real rules when it comes to your dreams, but for me, the simplest way is often the best way.

You can refine and embellish and expand as you go. But start with whatever way feels do-able to who you are today.

So, for now, I am going back to Amazon.

Later on I can do it differently! In fact, my research showed me an AMAZING way to build the Creative Dream Incubator Press... but it will make more sense to work on that part AFTER I have a bunch of journals completed.

Amazon makes it easy for me to put out there, and easy for people to buy from anywhere in the world.

I've spent A LOT of time and energy working through details and plans and also processed A LOT feelings about this and I am not interested in feedback from anyone at this time. Amazon is not how I wanted to do this AND it's the right way for me to do this right now. I think it's a really beautiful metaphor for how our dreams help us build a better world, but to get there we need to be present in this world, as it is today.

I am now getting ready to publish THREE new guided journals! It's a series called Let's Do This: Guided Journals for your Impossible Project.

It's three journals for the three stages of working on your project:

  1. Going from "OMG I want to do this and OMG I don't know if I can and OMG am I stuck? and OMG this is too hard, is it??!?!" to feeling ready to begin.
  2. A journaling process for creating MOMENTUM out of little steps, and learning as you go. (Build The Path By Walking)
  3. A whole journal of journaling processes for navigating the INNER work of growing into the version of you who definitely CAN do this thing.

Watch this space!

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How are YOU going to do this?

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Get Beyond The Overwhelm

The last year and a half has been A LOT.

But even before that, a lot of things were A LOT

And personally, I am also finding peri-menopause to be A LOT.

It's so easy to get stuck in this kind of overwhelm.

Kind of frozen and unable to move forward and too tired to really even think about it.

This is partly because when we're overwhelmed, we stop doing soothing forms of self care and start doing numbing/distracting/avoiding forms of self care.

Of course, it's totally natural to turn to the things that help us avoid our feelings, or distract us from what's happening.

Totally natural.

AND...

At some point, if you want to go BEYOND the overwhelm, you need to shift away from numbing and towards soothing.

Last week I did Goodbye Pandemic Overwhelm, Hello Dreams class: Sooth Pandemic Overwhelm, Restore Joy + Magic, Grow into your brightest dreams for 2021 class.

(You can get the whole thing right here)

SOOTHE was the first part of the class, because that part has to happen before you can shift into restoring your magic and growing your dreams.

It's how you fill your tank back up.

How are YOU going to do this?

The meditation + journaling class gives you space to do some alchemy work with the quality of soothing, to experience being soothed, and use that experience to spark some ideas of what you need to be doing - the practical changes you need to make in your life, in order to be more SOOTHED so you can begin to move BEYOND the overwhelm.

Later in the class you also connect with your dreams, because dreams help GROW and HEAL us, which can help pull us out of overwhelm too. But it begins with the soothing part.

What came to you during the class about what YOU can do differently, to give yourself more nourishing and soothing?

How are you going to make space to DO these things this week?

It's Monday!

Join me live for Creative Genius Planning: live meditation + journaling for working on your genius plan for this week!

It’s happening on Instagram live this morning at 10 am (Central, North America). , or catch the replay at that same link after we’re done.

We’ll do an alchemy meditation to connect with your intuition and get more clear on what YOU need this week to help move you towards where you want to be.

Then I’ll pick journal prompt cards, for some questions to help figure out HOW to move closer to your dreams this week.

These sessions are MAGIC. Every week I get more emails from people telling me how helpful they are.

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Goodbye Pandemic Overwhelm. Hello dreams. ⚡️FREE CLASS THIS WEEK⚡️

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Soothe. Restore. Grow. Soothe pandemic fatigue. Restore Joy + Magic. Grow into your brightest dreams for 2021.

Soothe pandemic fatigue. Restore Joy + Magic. Grow into your brightest dreams for 2021.

The new moon sent me a message to offer this class.

It said: of course you're feeling wobbly! Look at what you've been through!

It said: you all need extra doses of self care!

It said: everything you want is waiting for you.

So let's do this!

This is a free live Zoom class happening on July 15 at 3:00 pm Central, North America.

(You can use this to translate to your time zone - I'm in Winnipeg time). The replay will be available shortly after.

The class will be about 90 minutes long. Bring your journal and do your best to have uninterrupted space for the call.

To attend live:

If you're already on my email list, you're already signed up!

If not - you can sign up for my email list and I'll also send you my free class for figuring out your next steps.

I'll email the link into the Zoom room on Thursday morning.

To watch the replay:

You can sign up for my email list if you want me to email you a link to the replay as soon as it's ready.

If you're not into email, I'll also be posting the replay on my blog so you can look for it there.

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Journal Prompts for when you’re ready for your NEXT LEVEL dreams

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Journal prompts for when you're ready for your next level dreams

Journal Prompts for when you're ready for your NEXT LEVEL dreams:

What does this mean for you right now?
What does your next level look like?
And more importantly - what does it feel like?
Write it out, make it VERY VERY CLEAR.

Next-level dreams need you to take some time ACCLIMATE to them before you will start to see how to build the path to get there.

Keep journaling about them regularly!​​

Your dream is here to GROW you.

Your dream comes from the intersection of your purpose, your creativity, your uniqueness and your potential.

Pursuing this next - level dream of yours is REALLY about becoming more of who you are here to be. A braver, and even more creative and more powerful version of yourself than the creative genius you are today.

By giving as much attention to the inner processes of healing and growth as you do to the outer work of makign your dream happen - you get to play, heal and grow your way into your dream.

Take the (free!) 10 day Creative Dream Journal Challenge - it will help you GET MOVING with your next-level dream!

Sign up here <--- you also get my FREE guided journal for creative dreaming as a part of the 10 day challenge.

 

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Resilience, Canada Day and Creating a World Where We Can All Pursue Our Creative Dreams

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Revolution of the Heart art by Isaac Murdoch

Art by Isaac Murdoch

I was reading Micheal Redhead Champagne's blog post about The Resiliency Trap.

I love Micheal and have always seen him as a remarkably resilient person. And so this really hit me:

But the way resilience is often used in academics and media is so problematic, I warn that when we only focus on how strong people are, we ignore the many challenges they should never have had to overcome in the first place!

My automatic view is to see Micheal as remarkably resilient because I don't know what I would have been as strong or brave or upbeat as I see him being, if faced with the same circumstances.

I mean automatic as in - that's how I see it before I really sit with my thoughts. It's just my automatic way of seeing him.

We're not really to blame for our automatic ways of seeing things.

However, this response isn't helpful just like lots of our automatic responses are not helpful. So it's good to challenge ourselves, look deeper, and see where we can create new ways of seeing the world.

Resiliency has been on my mind a lot lately.

At one session with my therapist, she asked how I had been doing and I said "I'm just so disappointed by my lack of resilience"

And, in the emotional state I was in at the time, I thought she would say something like "Oh that's tough, let's look at how we can get you better resourced to be more resilient"

But instead, her face fell. She looked sad and said "Oh Andrea, it makes me so sad to hear that you don't think you are resilient."

She challenged my belief around how resilient I should be and offered a new perspective:

Everything has just been so fucking hard lately do I really need to make it harder by judging myself for not measuring up to my own standards?

I am crying a little as I write this as I hit that place in me that DOES judge me when I don't measure up.

I did NOT handle the pandemic in the way I had hoped I would.

I got depressed. I got lethargic. I was frustrated and snappy with my husband. I put things off. I ate a lot of chips. I watched a lot of Netflix.

At the same time: I kept my business running and helped so many people stay in touch with themselves and their dreams in a hard time, I offered healing + support to everyone in Dream Book, I made a whole free class on self care in the pandemic,I helped my step-son finish grade 9, I got AMAZING at making pizza from scratch, after being intimidated to try to bake with year I became really good at making bagels, baguettes and crispy artisan rolls, I worked on my dream project which is now almost finished - I did a lot.

I can see it that I wasn't very resilient or I can see it that I was super resilient.

But I'd rather move away from judging and measuring at all. And I want to bring it back to Micheal's post about The Resiliency Trap.

Because focusing on my level of resilience, measuring it in any way, IS the trap.

And this is why I've started writing so much more about politics in the last 4 years.

Because it's not right that we have so many obstacles to overcome in order to listen to our intuition and get our outer lives into alignment with our inner truths. And it's not right that different people have different levels of obstacles.

And ALL of the systems that make it hard for us to be true to ourselves need to be torn down.

Your dream is calling you towards your true self, it's asking you to live your truth and showing you the way to get there.

All of the internal obstacles you face - the fear and self doubt and the places where you hold back and don't believe in yourself - these were created because you live in a sick culture.

As Micheal said - these are challenges you never should have had to overcome in the first place.

Now he is speaking to the colonial systems that cause inter-generational harm.

And when I say that I want to live in a world where no one feels self doubt because we are properly nurtured and nourished that includes everything he is talking about.

And this is why I've been so frustrated by the Live Your Best Life Industry's "I don't want to get political" "I can't read mainstream media it's too negative" head-in-the-sand approach.

A guaranteed liveable income, safe affordable housing, free quality ACCESSIBLE mental and physical health care, a green economy and Indigenous sovereignty are the building blocks of creating a culture where we are all free to pursue our dreams.

Otherwise, you are leaving out everyone who doesn't have a certain amount of money and privilege in this white supremacist patriarchy colonization culture.

And you're leaving all of these harmful systems intact.

We are all connected.

Our dreams are all connected.

We need each other.

Our dreams need each other's dreams.

And it feels like most of the Live Your Best Life Industry just doesn't care enough about marginalized people to want to fight systemic injustice for their sake. Like it's not worth climbing down from their "high vibe".

They'd rather celebrate people like Micheal who overcame so much, in ways which cast aspersions on everyone who DIDN'T rise above debilitating system injustice.

So maybe they can consider that systemic injustice is hurting them, too? Maybe that would get them to care and get involved? Because our dreams need each other's dreams.

None of us are truly free until we are all free.

You know what I think is TRULY positive, powerful and empowering?

Facing the truth.

Calling things what they are.

Shining a light on where our culture does harm.

Looking for ways to support the people who are out there actively fighting systemic injustice to create a better world.

This is what's on my mind this Canada Day. I think Cancel Canada Day is SO NEEDED and so exciting.

Today my husband will be speaking at Effy Wild's Cancel KKKAnada Day event - an afternoon of reflective art-making and listening to Indigenous voices.

And then we're going to a march + sacred fire to honour the children whose bodies have been found, and those whose bodies have not yet been found.

This whole movement to bring awareness to the genocide that birthed our country and continues to this day, to cancel celebrations, to reflect and learn - this is how change happens.

We are doing it! We are 154 years too late but we are starting.

If you're in Canada and upset by all this news, I suggest:

  1. Read the reports from the Truth and Reconciliation Commission: everything is in there. We've known for a long time that a lot of bodies would be found if we searched former residential schools and have, until now, chosen to ignore this fact. Canada would not exist today if not for the abusive genocidal residential schools. As Canadians, we have to be able to understand this before we can do better.
  2. Read the calls to action from the TRC and look for ways to apply them in your life.
  3. Understand the treaties that were signed to create this country - which will show you that Canada has never honoured the treaties. What does it mean that you, as a Canadian citizen, do not know what's in the treaties? How are the treaties being honoured if the citizens don't know what's in them?
  4. Research the Indian Act
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I was wrong. Again. About that new project.

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Last week I wrote that I'd have my new GUIDED JOURNAL TO HELP YOU DO YOUR IMPOSSIBLE PROJECTS (!) ready to share this week.

Ha.I was wrong.

Well. I did finish it.

BUT I didn’t want to publish it the way I had done with previous journals - on Amazon.

I only want to work with companies whose values align with mine, and profiting billions from a pandemic without providing paid health leave or even decent working conditions to your employees just doesn’t feel very dreamy to me.

And yet, Amazon has this great system in place, to make it easy for anyone to publish a book, AND makes it easy for people to buy the book, almost anywhere in the world. Those qualities ARE dreamy.

So I did format the book for Amazon and was preparing it for sale there….

Thinking, even though Amazon will make more money on this than I will, this is the best way to start because it’s simple and lets me focus on making MORE journals, and once I had more journals ready I could look at better ways to do the publishing and sales.

But the Amazon journal just kept not feeling right.

Sitting with that feeling led me to do an experiment this weekend…. creating a journaling KIT with multiple journals plus booklets - all the same content but put together in a much more CREATIVE and ALIVE and ENTICING way.

I could see this kit really helping people get EXCITED to do the hard work of making their impossible projects happen.

And it felt soooooo exciting. So much creative energy!

But.

It also felt like “Oh wow I am doing So Much Work on this, and the ideas behind my work took 20 years to develop and the way I am doing this with this printing company is soooooo cute but.. the printing company gets almost all the money.” I mean that’s better than Amazon getting it but…

Sitting with that feeling led me to see ALL SORTS of other ways I can do this - to make the content FUN and ACCESSIBLE and also for THE CREATIVE DREAM INCUBATOR to make most of the money.

Sitting with these uncomfortable feelings is the worst.

Especially when I’m already finishing this project a year behind schedule and all I really want is to BE DONE and put it out there.

But.

I’m going to hold onto it a little longer.

Keep exploring these new ideas.

I think I really have something here.

Sometimes I just finish a project only to learn how I REALLY wanted to do that project. And the next step is to start the whole thing over. This is how it is sometimes.

If you've got some uncomfortable feelings about your creative proejcts, I invite you to sit with them too.

The hard/stuck places have SO MUCH to teach us and can often show us the BEST way to do the thing.

And you don't have to be alone with it!

I offer TONS of practices and support for doing the deeper Inner Work as a part o my ongoing creative dream mastermind.

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I woke up this morning feeling DESPERATE to sit in a coffee shop and write. On Dreams and Privilege and Changing The World.

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I woke up this morning feeling DESPERATE to sit in a coffee shop and write. On Dreams and Privilege and Changing The World.

I've been staying in bed and meditating for 30 minutes before getting up, which usually means I wake up feeling quite calm and centered and clear about what I want to do with my day...

Not today. Today, even post-meditation, I just can't shake that desperation of wanting a thing I can't have.

After two months of being North America's covid hotspot, Winnipeg's third wave has peaked. New cases are down which is a relief except our hospitals are still overflowing and there is such a backlog of medical issues, we are really not out of the woods.

Nevertheless, we are opening back up. Because our conservative government doesn't know how to do anything except put money ahead of people's health and wellbeing.

All this to say, I CAN go to a coffee shop as of Saturday. And next Tuesday is 2 weeks since my second vaccine shot.

But that's not feeling helpful to me, on Thursday morning.

So here I am, sitting at a picnic table in the park with my laptop, which is my attempt to give myself the next best thing.

I made a lavender iced latte, which melted in the heat on my bike ride here and now is just watery cold coffee. It's the time of year when the trees are dripping sap and everything is sticky. It feels like bugs are actually getting stuck on my legs.

A lot has changed for me in this last year, but I still believe in the magic and wisdom of DESIRE and MAKING WISHES and FOLLOWING OUR DREAMS WITH EVERYTHING WE HAVE.

That wish to drink iced coffee on a coffee shop patio is about:

treats
fueling
ease
stability
comfort
ritual
routine
space-making for my creative process

When I look at it that way, I can find other ways to get some of these things. And some of them are just inaccessible right now.

Stability is the thing that's been the hardest for me to call in over these last 15 months.

I mean, the world changed. It feels like it happened overnight, but I can remember watching the pandemic unfold in China and then Italy while knowing that our health system isn't better than theirs as that feeling of inevitability slowly swooped in. It's hard to call in the quality of stability when the world just fucking CHANGED and we can't just change it back.

Obviously, a lot has happened in my life as well. My husband isn't living with me anymore. Having the space and quiet of living alone IS what I need right now, AND it is incredibly disorienting the way my home has changed. Our relationship is actually stronger right now than it was, AND I miss him a lot of the time. AND we know for sure living together in the Dream Loft is not an option, so we are creating a new vision together.

I'm lucky that the Creative Dream Incubator hasn't really changed. I'm LOVING my work in Dream Book and am fueled by it all the time. I'm lucky and privileged that my income stayed steady even as I was distracted as fuck and nowhere near as productive as I used to be.

And that's what I wanted to write about: Privilege and dreams and changing the world.

Because what about the people who have NEVER had the kind of stability that I took for granted until the last year? The stability which is such a helpful ingredient for being brave and bold enough to pursue your dreams?

A world where the most privileged have the most access to their dreams looks like.... the world we live in today.

A world where white supremacy and the patriarchy rule.

A world of increasing wealth inequity. I mean how do we not collectively see how psychotic it is to have individuals hoarding more money than our brains can fathom while others starve in the streets?

A world where fighting for a liveable future for all is actually a fight. And we're loosing that fight.

A world where, here in Canada, we've now found over 1,200 children's bodies buried in unmarked graves at former residential school grounds and settler Canadians are in shock even though we've known since 2015 that the number is closer to 6,000.

A world where slavery exists.

A world where gangs really are the best option for a lot of kids.

A world where we joke about rape. And we judge women for "sleeping their way to the top" instead of jailing the men who abuse their power to force women to choose between sleeping with them or not moving up the ladder at all.

I could go on but you know what I mean.

Our culture is sick. And I believe our dreams can help us heal it.

Because working with your dream connects you more deeply to your true self.

Your dream will push you to heal your wounds that keep you stuck in the unhealthy coping mechanisms that contribute to more disharmony in your life and in the world around you.

Your dream will help you grow into your true gifts and power and we need EVERYBODY'S true gifts and power to heal our culture and create a better one.

A lot of us privileged folks in the Live Your Best Life Industry are looking at ways to do this and wondering.... How do we increase accessibility and inclusivity in our spaces?

These are well meaning questions but they are not going to lead to the kinds of answers that make a difference.

Accessibility and inclusivity are NOT how we build a world where we ALL have access to our dreams.

Since 2015 I have been struggling with the incredible amount of privilege in the Live Your Best Live industry, and my own participation and contribution to that. I have made changes in my work to make it more accessible - not just financially but energy and time wise by creating a deeper, sturdier container.

That's not enough. It's nowhere near enough.

It's still a form of inviting "others" to the table when what is needed is to tear the table apart and build something new that includes everyone, from the ground up.

I mean, anyone in the New Age world looking at ways to be more inclusive and accessible, myself included - and even with the understanding that we've all got good intentions -  is laughable.

This whole industry is built on cultural appropriation and theft. We are really going to now open the doors to be more inclusive and invite the people we stole from, to feel more comfortable to come in and buy back what we stole?

The audacity!

It's the same way Canadians are now pointing the fingers at the churches and employees of residential schools instead of looking at how we, ourselves, benefit from residential schools TODAY and how we can, RIGHT NOW TODAY, tear down this system, which continues to kill Indigenous children.

Your dream wants you to BE who are here to BE.

I know a part of who I am here to BE is a kind hearted person who won't stand for genocide. Not in my own country and not anywhere else in the world.

This includes facing a lot of uncomfortable truths.

Both about yourself, and the places where you hold back and follow your inner critic instead of your inner truth, and also about the outer world.

We can't change anything that we can't be with.

And once we can BE WITH the uncomfortable truths, change is not as far away as it feels right now.

So stay with it.

Personally, in our own lives and collectively, in the world. This is the work.

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I woke up this morning feeling DESPERATE to sit in a coffee shop and write. On Dreams and Privilege and Changing The World. Read More »

Let your heart break

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The Scream by Kent Monkman, from the Shame and Prejudice exhibit.

 

My heart is broken over the remains of 215 children found in a mass grave at a residential school in British Columbia.

Children who were taken from their families, and never came home.

Children who would only be a little older than me, if they had lived.

Children whose parents, siblings, relatives and neighbours could still be alive today.

And the knowing that most, if not all, of the residential schools in Canada also have these mass graves, besides the official cemeteries.

This isn't our past. It's the ground we're standing on.

Residential schools and all of the harm they caused were a deliberate component of the colonization of Canada and other countries.

It's part of how the colonizers created an environment where they could break the treaties and take whatever they wanted.

It's why my country is the way it is. It's why I've had such a nice life here in Canada.

We can never make a thing better without being able to really SEE it.

This is so much of the work I have done with my clients and students. CLARITY.

You have a dream, but the path that gets you there is all foggy.

And the process of being clear about how to create what you want in your life ends up being A LOT about looking in the dark shadowy places that you'd rather avoid.

I had to learn to stay present with my fears and inner critics before I could live with my dreams.

It's a package deal.

Clarity means CLARITY. Seeing all of it, not just the parts you want to see.

And that's also how we make the world better.

It's in learning to stay present with the pain and injustice of the world that we can begin to see a better way.

That's when you are your most powerful, when you can BE WITH both.

So that's my tip for the day.

Don't be a part of the "sending love and light and good vibes" spiritual bypass crew.

Let your heart break.

Be with the pain in the world.

That's the place where we'll heal, grow, and create a new world from - together.

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There are SO MANY healings and insights available right now.

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This week my dream showed me the path that leads from where I am today, to where I want to be.

The part where I am now is full of waves.

My dream was quick to clarify "Those are WAVES, those aren't bumps. The path is wavy, not bumpy."

I got that that felt important to my dream, but I didn't understand it, so it continued...

"They are waves of healing for you, but also waves as in: the ground is at an incline which changes your perspective to generate the insights you need."

Oh yeah, I see it now.

A wavy path is way better than a bumpy path, which is what it has been feeling like lately.

What changes when I remember that the bumps are waves?

I slow down.

I question where the thought "You are doing this all wrong" is actually coming from and find, each and every time, that it's not my truth.

I stop pushing so hard against the thing that's not working - or in the language of my dream, I stop treating a wave like a bump.

Which helps me make space to RECEIVE healing and insights that the wave has to offer.

Which then usually means I slow down even more.

This "THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE AND I'M JUST STUCK AND IT SUCKS" feeling mellows out and I start to see more clearly and inner and outer obstacles that are stopping me from doing what I want to do. And I start to see ways to face and move through each obstacle.

There are SO MANY healings and insights available right now.

I would say TOO MANY but my dream reminds me "This is what you need to get to the next part"

After over ten years of this work being my full time job - it STILL surprises me sometimes, how the path is not what we think it will be.

I've been seeing my next steps as being all about the outer work, all about these shifts and changes I want to make to my business and new projects I want to take on.

But my dream shows me that this is ALL ABOUT honouring my own truth and inner guidance in ways that make me uncomfortable right now.

Your dream is here to guide you into your best future.

We all need this guidance so much right now.

I mean personally and also collectively.

Our dreams can put us onto the right path, personally and collectively.

I'm so glad I made Dream Book BEFORE the Pandemic started.

I HAVE NEEDED THIS WORK SO BADLY to help me get through this time. My dreams have had so much advice and healing to offer me lately because I have needed so much advice and healing.

Dream Book is a sturdy container for doing the work of understanding what your dream is trying to teach you, and growing in the ways that your dream is trying to grow you.

Each person gets something different out of it, because each of us has a unique path.

It seems complicated but it's not.

Your dream is always calling you towards your True Self.

Towards your healing and growth and the fullest brightest expression of who you are. Your dream is showing you ways to bring all of this into your life. There are many facets and each of them has the potential to help you heal and grow to be able to move towards the next one.

Your dream does have the power to turn your bumps into waves.

Join us here and find our what your dream has for you.

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Your stories are needed.

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Your stories are needed

Yesterday on Facebook, I shared that for as long as I have been blogging, people have been telling me to censor myself.

I wasn't feeling upset about this, I am FASCINATED by it. Not any particular instance of this happening, but the fact that it's happened so consistently over the last 12 years.

I wasn't expecting my comment it to stir up so much reaction from people. Just because I don't use Facebook like I used to, I seem to be lost in the algorithm and don't get a lot of engagement there. But this sparked engagement so I was inspired to write more.

I originally shared my comment mostly for the people who hold back from speaking their truth because they don't want the kinds of responses that I get regularly.

I wanted to normalize the idea that you can do what you want to do, regardless of what others think you should be doing.

This is sovereignty 101.

And it's the foundation for being able to pursue ANY dream. Because when you follow your own heart - not everyone in your life is going to like what you're doing. It's just not possible.

So, given what I do with the Creative Dream Incubator, of course this is something that is always on my mind.

And when you share your stories from your perspective - not everyone is going to like what you're saying.

This simple fact keeps so many people silent. It especially keeps the more sensitive among us silent.

And yet.

The most sensitive among us often have important things to share. And, frankly, the world is JUST SO FULL of the stories of the LEAST sensitive and most loud of us. We need more stories from the more reflective, sensitive folks to balance things out.

And for some of us, like me, sharing our stories and our process IS a part of how we are creative.

So what do you do when your fear of other people's opinions holds you back from expressing your truth?

People ask me about this all the time, but it comes up up a lot more when I am writing about anti-racism and anti-capitalism and decolonization.

People who want to speak up but are afraid of saying the wrong thing. There is a fear of causing offence when you don't mean to. Which is genuine! If you're a white person learning anti-racism that's just a part of the discomfort you're going to have to learn to bear. AND if/when that happens - it's not that hard to apologize and make amends.

There is actually a lot of google-able information about how to talk about racism. I just wanted to note - there are specific issues to consider there.

But, in general, just when feeling the call to share your own stories, thoughts, and feelings - there is also a common fear of people getting angry with you just because they don't agree with your truth and don't want you to say it.

And then beneath that there is the fear of "I won't know how to handle that" and fears of what kinds of consequences this will bring.

And mixed in there is also the idea that - it shouldn't matter. Like "what other people think of me is none of my business" and yet... that's not how we're wired.

Of course we want approval and harmony with our fellow humans.

Of course it's uncomfortable.

So what do you need to do, to make it easier to bear the discomfort, for you to say and do the things you want to say and do?

That's the question.

This comes into play in SO MANY PLACES with our dreams.

  • I want to make and share my art but I'm embarrassed of what people will think. Is it really good enough?
  • I want to make a big change in my business but my clients are happy with what I am doing now. Will I lose all of them?
  • I want to talk about this thing I am SUPER PASSIONATE ABOUT but I don't think my friends will agree with me. Will they argue with me? Will it get uncomfortable? Will I LOSE friends over it?

Fear of alienation is real.

The pain of not being understood is real.

Fear of rejection is real.

It's all real.

Living into your sovereignty and living into your dreams means growing towards your most powerful and wise and authentic self.

You can't be deeply wildly TRUE TO YOURSELF in how you're showing up in your life if you're not tending to the places in you that get hurt. Creating and maintaining boundaries to keep your tender self safe. Accepting the consequences of your choices and working with them. Cultivating your courage.

You have to recognize how all of this is functioning within you, and shine a light on your own fears around putting yourself out there.

It's only when you can look your fears in the eye and be with your feelings that you find the power to not let these fears control you. This is one of the main things I teach because it's one of the main things that holds us back (and BTW you should definitely join me in Dream Book for really creative and empowering and playful ways to do all of this).

(Which is never to say that the world doesn't hold you back also. YOU are not the only thing in your way. It's just that the parts where you ARE the thing in your way are always the best place to start because doing this work helps you have more POWER and FUEL for facing the outer obstacles.)

So ask yourself:

What EXACTLY are you afraid of?

What's the absolute worst thing that could happen?

And then, stepping into your brave sovereign self, what kind of boundary could you create here to help give you space to do what you need to do?

Give this all some real thought.

For me - canned responses are a way to make this all much simpler.

I came up with this years ago and still do it to this day.

Of course - often I just don't respond. It depends on my energy levels and what else I'm working on and relationship with the person and the subject of the discussion.

This is a part of doing sovereignty in a GROWNUP way and taking responsibility for the CONSEQUENCES of your action. Yes, I am a sovereign being and can ignore anyone I want. No one has an automatic right to access me. BUT ALSO this is my work and engaging with the people who are engaged with my work can have a lot of benefits. I don't mean just sales - but understanding what's on people's minds and what they're dealing with and really CONNECTING. Treating them like human beings and not like "an audience".

I mean - you have to look at it all more deeply. That's just my choice.

So I like having the canned responses because I like to be quite responsive to people.

Having a canned response means I can respond without engaging emotionally.

It doesn't pull me into their "You are wrong and I want you to be different" vibes. It doesn't make me engage with the unsolicited advice I get.

It creates a buffer.

My canned response shares my policy about how I share my stories, thoughts and feelings without allowing anyone to edit me.

Most of the time, people respond to that in really beautiful ways.

Because they absolutely did not mean to be disrespectful. It's VERY EASY for people to get triggered while reading other people's stories, and just respond in the moment.

It's ESPECIALLY triggery when people really do like and respect me, and see me as a role model for living in a meaningful and authentic way, and then see me say/do something they thing is really wrong. Because it throws a lot of stuff into question. So an instant reaction to that can be to try to get me to be back on the right path, so that they can go on being inspired and encouraged by me and not have these conflicting feelings.

With these people, we often go on to have helpful conversations or at least we both leave the interaction feeling good about it.

But sometimes, sharing my policy in response makes people angrier. Those ones I stop engaging with.

It's a simple protocol.

Yup, it took time and energy and thought to figure out how to navigate this, to create space where I feel free to share what I want to share. It takes work, and there is a cost.

But NOT sharing what you feel called to share has it's cost too.

Consider that the people who HATE what you say will gravitate AWAY from you when you share them more consistently. This makes more space for people who RESONATE with you to come in.

(I mean that personally and professionally)

And consider that putting it out there and having it go exactly as horribly as you are afraid it will - just might be the experience that helps you become more brave about putting yourself out there.

That's what happened to me in 2009 or 2010!

I started blogging and creating free e-courses while I was teaching creativity and spirituality workshops in person (evenings and weekends while working a full time office job) never thinking that I would charge for online things. I was doing this for fun and to explore my ideas.

Then it changed and I decided to stop doing in person workshops and create an online business and quit my job.

I was TERRIFIED to send that first email, with the details my new coaching program. People has signed up for my emails for free inspiration! What if they get mad that I am selling something?

I hit send and immediately went for a long walk to calm my nerves.

This was before I even had an iPhone, so I did not have a way to check email on my walk (!)

I got home and found exactly the angry email I was afraid of.

The person literally wrote, among other much ruder things, "I signed up for free inspiration I don't want to read about your paid coaching"

My worst fear. Right there on the screen.

And - now this is NOT how I thought I would react at all, I was genuinely terrified of this exact thing happening - I laughed.

I said to myself "Who the fuck is she to think I OWE HER free inspiration?"

And in that moment I was free of that fear.

Now - when people sign up for free inspiration via email, of course you want to provide what you say you will. And I had no intention to stop sending out free inspiration. I mean that was over 11 years ago and here I am still doing it.

But if a person can't also hear about what kinds of programs and services I am offering then I don't HAVE TO send them free inspiration. I don't owe them anything.

This person's feelings were TOTALLY VALID.

And my feelings were TOTALLY VALID as well.

Nobody has to be wrong. But as a sovereign being I don't need to offer free inspiration to this woman who would email me with an insulting tone. And I do accept the consequences of this choice.

I hit the unsubscribe button for her to make sure she never had to hear another word about my offerings.

And you know what? A WHOLE BUNCH of other people responded by BUYING MY NEW COACHING OFFERING.

And I went on to offer more paid coaching and classes and turned this thing I was doing for fun into my full time job.

No, this stuff won't always be so easy and clean to work through. I did want to share my most immediately-triumphant story in the hopes that it sparks triumph for you as well.

Your stories are needed.

We are in a time of big transitions. The pandemic has a lot of people re-thinking a lot of things. We're in late stage capitalism and starting to see it fail more people in more ways than ever before.

Sharing your thoughts and feelings and inspiration and hopes and dreams can actually help shape the new world to come.

Or it can help others feel less alone.

Keeping them hidden inside you certainly won't help anyone.

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Creative dreaming while feeling broken hearted about the world

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Image description: My hand holding a journaling printable from Dream Book with a handwritten journal prompt: Dear Dream, Together We Can: In the background is my open journal and journal supplies (watercolour paints, scissors, pen) on a white sheet, which I covered my dining table with to turn it into a giant art table.

I bring all of my feelings to my dream in our daily meetings.

This morning it was: heartbreak, confusion, frustration and anger.

Our ICU beds are full and new Covid cases keep increasing and the anti-maskers anti-vaxers are out in full force, planning rallies and riling people up to fight back against the health restrictions. They don't seem to understand that the only reason the streets outside our hospitals aren't lined in refrigerator trucks full of dead bodies is that most of our elderly are vaccinated. Or that the ICUs being full literally means there is no room for emergency patients.

We're in crisis. This third wave with the new variants is brutal in my city. And it hurts my heart to see so many privileged crying about civil liberties while not giving a shit about community care (or civil rights!). It hurts my heart the way the people who get the short end of every stick are getting the short end of this one.

This is the world I live in?

This is the world I dream in?

Fuck this.

My dream agrees. Fuck this garbage culture that allows atrocities to happen every day in the name of capitalism, colonialism and white supremacy.

But my dream doesn't feel heartbroken about it like I do.

My dream feels determined and says "Hey. This is why you dream. I'm here to help."

I've long dreamed of a world that supported EVERYONE in pursuing their creative dreams and unleashing their true potential.

A world where we all have a safe place to live and enough to eat. Where we grew up with love and nurturing and stability and encouragement.

A world where resources are used to support all life and the hoarding of resources is unheard of.

A world where you don't even need therapy and coaching and magic to heal and grow your way into your true self. It's just the way of life and the whole community supports it.

A world where you feel inspired and excited to do a thing - so you do it! You just DO your dream. You don't waste years tangled up in self doubt and inner critic voices and working at a draining job because without that money you would die on the streets.

Of course, doing the thing may take time and support, you may need to do lots of research and learning first - I'm not saying it would be easy. Dreams are not meant to be easy.

But the world around you wouldn't be actively making it harder. The world would cheer you on.

This morning my dream says:

Look at how you're creating pockets of this magic, right here in this shitty capitalist culture.

Looking at all of the other people doing the same.

Look at everyone trying to heal and grow.

Look at everyone waking up and learning and creating new models for how to create a better world.

Remember that we have to get angry and dissatisfied with the status quo in order to change it. We need more privileged people to stop focusing so much on pursuing their own dreams and protecting their own civil liberties and look at how to make the world better for everyone.

Because that's the way to ALL of our dreams.

And it's closer than we realise.

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Stop Identifying as Sensitive

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I had a joint meeting with my dream and the soul of my business because I had a few questions I wanted to ask them together.

I was not ready for the answers.

The first question was about the three projects I am working on now. I don't feel I have three projects worth of focus, so how do I decide what to do?

One of the projects turned into caramel on a warm day and just melted away.

Then my business showed me that really putting my heart and creativity into the other two projects would actually accomplish the goals of that project, without me having to actually DO that project.

Since the project that melted away was a marketing project, I was more than happy to take that advice.

Then my dream and my business got together and said:

Stop identifying as sensitive

And I was like "what?" WHOA!" "what?"

I could see this idea held an entirely new possibility for everything about my life.

But it also felt absolutely impossible because I AM SENSITIVE.

I read the book The Highly Sensitive Person 22 years ago and that was the first time I ever felt SEEN. I felt so relieved to have a name to call the ways that I was different from everyone else, and some coping mechanisms for handling it.

Being an HSP has been a big part of my identity for 22 years.

My dream and my business are like "yeah whatever" "so you're sensitive. So what?"

And then I see it.

I can BE sensitive without IDENTIFYING as sensitive.

Sensitive doesn't have to be the part of me I lead with.

Sensitive doesn't have to be the main part of how I define myself.

And the soul of my business whispered "Hey what if POWERFUL is the main way you define yourself?'

I mean what if?

POWERFUL is every bit as much as who I am as SENSITIVE.

Also CREATIVE and CRABBY and TIRED and all sorts of other things.

But WHAT IF powerful was the main way I defined myself?

I got this sense of powerful being almost a shield. Powerful all around me, like a living energy that energizes me, gives me more options for how I show up in my life and - get this - creates safe space for my sensitivity to live deeper in, closer to me, further from my identity out in the world.

Whoa.

What?

Whoa.

Then the soul of my business whispers: "This is how you build your capacity so you can do the things you want to do next"

This is what I love about Dream Book.

It's not about "you have to be your best and most powerful self all the time" which is what a LOT of the Live Your Best Life Industry is pushing.

It's about creating space for the RIGHT insight to find you at the RIGHT time.

So it lands, not just as a seed for a new possibility for you life... it lands as medicine.

Today in Dream Book I'm teaching a class on Growth, Chaos + Change: Following your own flow in your business.⁠

It's an alchemy process for connecting with your own creative flow and the creative flow of your business and how to lean on that flow to help you move through change.

We're all experiencing a lot of change right now. Some of it caused by external change, some of it sparked by our own wishes and dreams for what we want next.

This kind of change can cause us to revert back to old coping mechanisms.

In this class I'll share an alchemy process that helps you create a NEW way, one that is more in alignment with your evolving truth.

It will be recorded, so you can listen whenever works for you.

Join us here.

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What kind of support do you need, to do the things you want to do?

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What kind of support do you need

Boundaries support your wellbeing and healing and self care and DREAMS.

In your business, boundaries support you in doing your best work, shining your light and receiving the things you need.

So the big question is:

What kind of support do you need, to do the things you want to do?

There are SO MANY WAYS to get creative about creating this support for yourself.

Systems and guidelines and routines and limits and agreements. These are all boundaries.

Of course - today is the Business + Boundaries: Creating Space for your Creative Dreams to flourish class!

This class is an experiential deep-dive into exploring where you need more/different SUPPORT, to be able to do the things you want to do in your business.

When I was preparing the class, I was getting my period and was a little crampy. It wasn't that bad, and I don't like to take drugs, so normally I would just try to ignore the cramps and carry on.

BUT I'm finding it hard to focus these days for a lot of reasons. So I decided to just take an Advil, to numb the cramps so I had one less thing distracting me.

That's a boundary. Not today, cramps!

Of course, the decision to usually NOT take drugs is ALSO a boundary.

Good boundaries are fluid because we are living things and our needs change all the time.

But it's so much more complicated when it comes to business, because it's not just YOUR needs that matter. Your customer's needs matter and your business' needs matter and your employees, suppliers.... it's big web.

Also, most boundary decisions happen in our unconscious, driven by people-pleasing and fear of failure and other such nonsense.

Like -  "Oh, we did 6 coaching sessions together last year and you were thrilled with my work at the time, but now you've decided to go to Disneyland and want a refund to help pay for it? Well, I REALLY want you to like me, so sure!"

I mean, that's an extreme example but we violate our own needs to get external approval in a lot of ways.

And it's uncomfortable to hold our boundaries for a lot of reasons.

So the Business + Boundaries class is, of course, a healing circle.

A chance to look deeper at what's happening for you in your business, to figure out where to plug leaky boundaries to make things smoother for you and to explore how to give yourself the support you need to do what you want to do next.

AND a healing space for being with the things that come up from that, for processing the feelings and holding the insights and figuring out what to do next with all of this.

I LOVE this work.

I LOVE the way our businesses push us deeper into our growth.

I can't wait!

And YES the class will be recorded so you want do it in your own time. This is one I think we'll come back to over and over, because each time you do it you would get something different from it.

This class is a part of Dream Book, my ongoing creative dream course + mastermind. Join us here.

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