Your dream is your soul calling you towards your actual self. Your dreams lead you towards your most authentic life, which is the life that you are here to live. Always.

This is how dreams work. All of them.

It’s actually impossible for your dream to be impossible because your dream is only leading you to yourself.

This means it?s never true that:

• you?re not good enough
• you?re not ready
• it?s impossible

Never. Those are bullshit stories that keep you stuck right where you are.

Your job is to transcend them.

Most of us soulful creative beings are also highly sensitive. We feel the pain of these stories and it can be very easy to get stuck in it. So much so that transcending can feel impossible.

Or we sense the pain in these stories so we carefully try to avoid them, which only sounds like a good idea until you discover the fact that you can only avoid them by avoiding your dreams.

Plus these stories have been going on for so long, and have so many chapters, each one leading you down a different path of dream-avoidance, that it can just be stupidly complicated to figure it all out.

So let me simplify it for you.

Any time you are feeling like you?re not good enough, any time when you wonder if maybe you can?t do it – you?re listening to the wrong voice and you’re moving in the wrong direction.

(For Creative Dream Circle members – this means get yourself into The Un-Sticking Station ASAP.? It will lead you step by step through the process of transforming the stuck and get you feeling good and moving towards what you want.)

These feelings are things to transform, not things to believe, figure out or wallow in.

The transformation of these things is the path to your dream.

I want to say that again: the transformation of these things is the path to your dream.

Do NOT fall for the assumption that having these thoughts and feelings means your dream is not possible.? EVERYONE doubts themselves.? EVERYONE feels like their dreams are impossible.?

Dealing with this stuff is just a part of the process.

You wouldn’t HAVE the dream if you weren’t ready to move towards it – I promise.

In my many years of helping people bring their dreams to life I have yet to meet anyone who wasn’t ready.? Whenever we work both creatively and intuitively to map out the path – possibilities and miracles emerge.

Seriously – your intuition will never say “Oh, you’re stuck.? Give up.”

There IS a way and you ARE wise enough to find it.

I’ve got two programs starting next week that can help:

A deep-dive energy healing of your relationship with power. With creative play and glitter markers.

Why Power?? POWER is the thing that animates all soul qualities. Think: Creativity. Authenticity. Abundance. Freedom. It brings them to life, in your life.

So the more personal power you can access, the more gorgeousness you can create in your world and in the world around you.

This makes power the fuel that brings all dreams to life.

I’ve got some amazing things to share about POWER in the Superpowers Creative Journal Class, happening October 24. Click here to read more.

 

Clarity.? Momentum.? Success.

Evolve into the best coach/healer/teacher/helper-person you can be.

Group coaching for Coaches, Healers & Teachers only: you can use this group to grow your business, create new programs, or find ways to do your work with more ease and less depletion.

Starting October 21. Click here to read more.

If you want to join SHINE but the call times don’t work for you – email me!? I’m adding a second call to accommodate people who can’t attend at this time.? If you’re feeling called to be a part of this, we’ll make it happen.

FYI For Creative Dream Circle members: I’ve posted a totally different post inside the Circle for this week’s Creative Dream Sharing Circle.

In December 2013 I made a promise to write a weekly update for all of 2014 to share the process of making a big dream real.

But it’s not feeling right anymore, because the updates (in my brain anyway) are connected to the dream I was working on when I started this – a dream which has morphed into something different.

Plus something about the word UPDATE and the energy behind it doesn’t fit with where I am right now.

Though the updates inspired the Weekly Sharing Circle, inside the Creative Dream Circle, which I adore and I don’t want to stop those.

So for the past few weeks I’ve been sitting with the fact that I don’t want to keep doing these updates in the way that I’ve been doing them.

I paid attention to how I was feeling and started to explore what I wanted to do instead.? There is too much good stuff tied up in the updates that I do want to hold onto, so I didn’t want to just throw the whole thing away.? Plus I know that if you just stop as soon as it gets uncomfortable you don’t ever get anywhere.

But now I’m starting to see a new way, so I’m ready to let go of this and start exploring the new path.

Less of an update, more of a Creative Dream Check-In.

Less a blog post, more a practice (though I do want to share it).

Deep communion with my dream.

And a warm invitation for YOU and your dream to join me.

Right now I need some quiet space to sort this out – it’s about a lot more than ending a series of blog posts.? There is a new way of interacting with my dreams that is ready to emerge and I’m excited to learn more about it.

Some announcements:

SHINE Group Coaching for Coaches, Healers & Teachers is starting soon.

This is a gorgeous group for working through the unique challenges you face as a helper-person.

You can use this group as a support system to help you

* create and launch a new class, program or coaching offering

* step up your business to start helping MORE people

* figure out what your next steps are in your growth as a helper-person

* find ways to do your work with less depletion and more ease

I’m happy to share anything and everything I’ve learned on my path, plus do intuitive healing work with you to support you in activating more of your unique gifts.? Click here to find out more.

 

Recently I was invited to be an expert on the 2014 Inspired Livelihood Inspired Entrepreneur panel along with 14 high earning creative entrepreneurs. UNlike many other no-cost tele-summits, no one is trying to sell you anything and none of us are making any money from this course. We?re simply openly sharing how we?ve made a real livelihood doing work we love.

I?m excited to share this with you because it completely shatters the myth of the starving artist.

In these friendly conversations we all share how we got started in turning our interest into income and what we wish we?d known when we were first starting out. We hold back no secrets about what it took to grow a successful business, the challenges we?ve faced and obstacles we?ve overcome.

You can access the whole series HERE and listen to it at your leisure.

I’m starting this update feeling like nothing really happened this week and I don’t have anything to update you about! So I’m going to the journal prompts for keeping on track with your dreams for help.

My dream is: Changing! As I’ve been connecting more with my Dream Self and learning more about how she is different from me I am getting clearer on what I want next, but I am not all the way at clarity just yet.

I want it because: I want to keep moving towards my most authentic, most free and most powerful self.

When I have it I will feel: The past six months or so I’ve noticed that feelings feel different.? Like there is more space inside me for the qualities I want.? So happiness isn’t just happy – now it has room to dance around inside me.? I feel more free, more deeply grounded, more inspired and happier.? I imagine this will just keep opening up as I keep moving towards what is true for me.

What happened in the last week?

A lot of self-care.? I’ve been sad about saying goodbye to summer and not wanting to let go of how much joy riding my bike everywhere has brought me.? (And also not willing to experiment with winter cycling – I mean I DO want to, and I could dress for it and get winter tires but I don’t want to share the icy roads with cars who can’t stop as fast as they think they can)

I’m discovering and re-discovering a lot of things to help make this better.

I’ve also been working on my new coaching programs – next week I’ll have the new dates up for SHINE: Group Coaching for Coaches, Healers, Teachers & Helper-People.? This is a 4 week group focused on helping you evolve into the best coach/healer/teacher/helper-person you can be.

How do I feel about this?

I’m really excited about the new stuff I want to do with my one-on-one work.? I am so inspired by what my clients are doing now, and want to help them reach for even bigger dreams.

What do I need now?

To be patient (ugh!) about giving what’s next time and space to emerge.? To be more OK with not-quite-knowing right now.

What does my dream need now?

My dream is a sparkling lotus that is in outer space (?).? It’s too far away from me for me to really be able to connect with it, but this is exactly where it needs to be right now.? It whispers at me to trust the process and work on my part for now.

Taking all of this into account, my next mission is: keep on keepin’ on.

Patience. Trust. Self-Care.

I can see how my new fall self-care routines (yoga before bed, meditation first thing when I wake up – 10 minutes each is enough but more is better) are really supporting what is emerging next.

I want to add that I want to do more journaling, more sewing, more art.? But I always feel that way, that I’m not doing enough.? (For Circle members: I posted some creative journaling I did with the “You’re Not Doing Enough” voice in the Un-Sticking Station this week)

So how about this week I experiment with believing that I AM doing enough?? That feels good.

Update FORTY FOUR!? I’m closing in on a whole year of weekly updates.

When I set out to do these updates, my mission was to welcome 800 members into the Creative Dream Circle this year.? I started these weekly updates to share the process of holding the dream strong enough and long enough that it comes to life.

That’s not what happened.? Some would call this whole thing a failure.

I’ve just passed 200 members in the Circle and given the way I’m approaching this at this time I don’t see a way to get to 800 by the end of the year.

Though I do feel that if I still really wanted to hit 800 this year, I could do it.? I’ve learned so much about business this year and am feeling more confident than ever.

But the fact remains that I’m not going to hit my original goal.? And that’s good!

What happened instead is that I learned more about what I really want.? Which is what happens when you grow dreams from the inside out, which is exactly what I teach in the Creative Dream Circle so it would be ridiculous for me to be approaching my dreams differently than how I teach people to do it!

When you’re aligning with heart, soul and purpose (which is a MUCH bigger job than you think – most of us are (unconsciously) very strongly aligned with our limiting beliefs which we take as fact) a new story emerges.

My new story is that I’m not as ambitious as I thought.? When I read blogs written by people who DO want to work with thousands of people, who LOVE having that huge business, who see BIGGER as the only way to grow – I don’t feel anything.

I don’t feel inspired.

I don’t feel a tinge of jealousy that they have something I don’t (which would mean that of course I want what they have).

I don’t feel all high and mighty that they’ve sold out and I’m a better person for not being so ambitious (which would mean that I do want they have but I am not willing to admit it to myself).

I’m happy that they’re happy, that’s all.? There’s none of my stuff tangled up in it because that’s not my story.

Then there are other people out there with really unique and gorgeous in-depth coaching programs and when I look at what they’re doing – I feel inspired.

Because one big thing I learned this year is that I’m not as finished with one-on-one coaching as I thought I was (having 800 members in the Circle would mean not doing any more one-on-one work).

I am deeply inspired to create a whole new super in-depth coaching program, and am working on it right now.? It will plug into what happens in the Creative Dream Circle and go deeper for the people who want to go deeper.

I am also inspired to do more group intuitive healing calls with the Circle which I will be doing next year.

Dreaming of having 800 members this year was not a mistake.? It led me to knowing more clearly what I actually want.? I want to make that super duper clear because this happens with dreams all the time and too many people feel like failures as a result.

Pursuing your dreams out of alignment with your heart and soul WILL bring you to what is right for you. Along the way you usually do have to let go of your original vision and settle into what is really true for you.

The more graceful and awake you can be about this process the better as your inner critics will want to insist that you are a failure and they’ll drag this evidence along towards any other dreams you choose to pursue.? Do not underestimate how good the inner critic is at the art of IMPOSSIBILITY.

So this week I’ve been focusing on getting to know my Dream Self? better (this is the me who lives my dream) and getting clear on what I need to do to grow into this version of myself (for Circle members: this is in module 6 of the Creative Dream Incubator e-course).? This is a DreamSelf collage I made:

As I explore my Dream Self I’m learning a lot about what I want to do next and how I want to do it.

I’m making more time for art.? I’m working on my new coaching program. I’m taking lots of bike rides.? And I’m re-filling the well which is still running low, after creating The Mandala Class and moving the Creative Dream Circle to a new site this month.

Oh! The Mandala Class!? It’s going soooo much better than I’d even hoped.

Circle members are doing the most amazing mandalas, full of transformation and wisdom and healing.? Every day I pop in to see what’s been posted and I’m blown away by their stories.

So grateful to be doing this.

This week The Mandala Class started inside the Creative Dream Circle and I didn?t get anywhere near as many new sign-ups as I had hoped for.

This happens sometimes.? A small part of me felt sad but most of me was just really happy about sharing this amazing class with all the people who have already signed up.

And as soon as people started posting photos of the mandalas they were drawing and the amazing insights they were gleaning from the process I stopped caring about who didn?t sign up and was busy cheering on the people who did.

When your dream and your business collide there are certain considerations to be made.

Because the path to a dream never goes in a straight line and there are always gifts in getting what you didn’t want but at the same time I need to pay the mortgage and buy groceries, Moleskines and glitter paints.

What I have found is that the best way to approach it is to see it all as an experiment and be light with it.? When you really NEEEEED something to go well and make x dollars that puts so much pressure on that everything tenses up and it gets easy for things to go sideways.

I have built my business slowly. ?And in that time I have discovered things that work for me, so if I hit a financial speed bump I feel confident that I have the tools to boost sales to get over it.

But I?m also always trying new things, following my inspiration about what I want to put out there and how I want to put it out there.? Often I am surprised? things I think won?t work so well actually work very well, and things I am sure will work well just don?t.

The lighter you can be with all of this, the more resilient you?ll be and the more likely you?ll stay in the game long enough to build a stable foundation.

And of course sometimes you just can?t afford to be light with your finances.

When I was in my 20s and trying to make a living with my art I was always hovering on the edge of financial ruin. ?While I was committed to exploring my creative gifts and learning how to make a living with them, the whole thing really was stressful and eventually I did ?give up? and get a job.

(The story from how I went from starving artist to working in a cubicle to being financially secure enough to comfortably leave my job to be a full time artist, plus tools to do the same yourself, is in The Creative With Money Kit, which is one of the classes you get in the Creative Dream Circle.)

It turned out that ?giving up? and getting a job was not giving up at all – it was the perfect move to make to build a sturdier foundation for my dreams.

So now I?ve set my financial life up to be simple and easy so I can be light with this and approach my business with an attitude of experimentation.

So, I didn?t meet my sales goal this week and that?s ok.

I did learn something really important – which always happens when you take ?failure? lightly and are willing to explore it to find the gifts in it.

I was inundated with people who wanted to sign up for The Mandala Class, but not join the Creative Dream Circle.? That’s why my sales were so low.

But the truth is, I want to work with people who are committed to creating positive change in their lives, and to bringing amazing things to life. ?These people know that it?s a journey and it takes time.

I don?t want to work with people who just want to take one class.? But my marketing plan for this year relied mostly on promoting individual classes as I added them to the Circle.

See? ?Disconnect.

These kinds of disconnects happen all the time when you are actively living with and pursuing your dreams, because you?re always growing and your dreams are always growing and so things shift and change and disconnect.

I had been braining storming what I want to do with the Circle for next year, and was already leaning towards a shift and this shows me that I am really on the right track with my new ideas.

So, as a result of not meeting my sales goal this week I?m feeling more inspired and sure than ever about what I?m doing next. ?So YAY for not meeting my goal. ?Onward and upward.

Coming back to the Creative Dream Check-In Questions:

My dream is shifting a lot right now, so it?s good to keep track of it in this way.

My dream is: To keep growing the Circle at a steady pace and to do my best to serve the members in bringing amazing things to life.

I want it because: Purpose. Fulfillment.

When I have it I will feel: Hmm, I feel like I do have it because I am doing this right now. ?It feels like spaciousness, peace, alignment and fulfillment. ?I like it.

But dreams are about guiding us into the next stage. ?So what is my next dream?

Oh, my secret project. ?I don?t want to share any details yet because it is likely to change a lot as I work on it.

I see secret project working really well with the Creative Dream Circle. ?This is how I want to grow and evolve and share my gifts next.

I want it because: I feel like something lights up in my heart when I think about it.

When I have it I will feel: Like I am serving from a place of deeper purpose. ?It feels bigger and more solid. ?I feel excited to move into this.

So that?s the new dream. ?I am writing this part of the update on Tuesday morning because I wanted to write this story while it was fresh, so this gives me my focus for the week: Secret Project.

What happened in the last week?

Oh my, after writing the update to this point on Tuesday morning it feels like all hell broke lose.

I wrote a post about Creating Space To Grow Into Who You Are Becoming As You Move Towards Your Dream.? So I’ve been doing a lot of that messy vulnerably stuff.

I cut my long hair short.? In intuition started to scream at me on Wednesday afternoon to chop it all off, so I stopped at a hairdresser that I ride past on my bike ride and sure enough – they could take me right away.

I feel like I left a whole lot of things I don’t need anymore behind, tangled up in that big pile of purple hair lying on the floor.

It’s been a super roller-coastery week.? Super super happy and sure.? Self-doubt and sadness.? A great big mess in the Dream Loft as I sort through it all.? All the usual stuff of personal and creative growth.

How do I feel about this?? Right now I am bubbling with enthusiasm about what comes next.? Like I still have preparations and packing to do but I am so ready for this journey.

I actually feel TALLER.? This is something that has happened before when I’ve been in a bit of an inner-growth spurt.? I like it.? It gives me a new perspective and makes bigger dreams feel more me-sized.

What do I need now?? To be gentle with myself and the process.? To not rush.? To pay attention to how I’m feeling and follow my intuition.? To remember that everything is possible for me.?

What does my dream need now?? My dream is smiling sweetly at me from the top of a mountain. ? It’s happy I’m making the journey and waiting for me to get there.? It’s not time yet for us to be together, I have to first grow into the me who can carry this dream, before we can journey together.

Taking all of this into account, my next mission is:?

Keep meeting with this dream and getting to know it while focusing most of my time and energy on supporting the new qualities that want to emerge in me and my life.

The part of this that is challenging is that I want to dive into the Secret Project but I really do need to focus on this inner work first but I get so impatient.

That’s what the Dream Loft looked like yesterday.

I posted this photo on Instagram and said:? Total chaos as I re-arrange the entire Dream Loft. Sometimes personal + creative growth comes with a need for new space to play in.

I’m going through all of my things.? Getting rid of a lot (which is weird, but because I got rid of half of everything when I moved in here so I don’t really have that much “stuff” to start with).? Changing other things – a coat of paint or a re-purposing.

Monday when I borrowed a friend’s extra-tall ladder to start putting the Giant Papier-Mache project up.? (I haven’t blogged about this yet, but have been sharing pics of it on Instagram as I go)? This is a Giant Project and will take another few months (at least?) to complete.

But Monday I started to put some of it up, very high up:

Which, of course, changed the feeling of the space – which is exactly what the Giant Papier-Mache project is all about.? Which helped me get a stronger sense of who-I-am-growing-into as I grow into new dreams.

Having a dream come true on the outside is always about growing into a new part of you on the inside.

I’ve been talking a lot lately about building the internal capacity to hold a bigger dream.

It’s also about inviting in new qualities and ways of being.? Which spill out into every aspect of your life.

(For Circle members there’s a ton of stuff on this in Module 6 of the Creative Dream Incubator e-course which is about growing into the you-who-lives-your-dream)

Some of the qualities of my new dreams are: alignment, trust, spaciousness, soul-sparkle.

So I am looking at ways to bring them into my space.? I’m looking at ways to set up my space to support these qualities in emerging in my day-to-day life.

All things tell stories.

As I’m looking for things in my space that do not support the emergence of these qualities,? I’m looking for things in my space that tell my old stories.

Like the book that old boyfriend gave me that shows how he never actually understood me or those shelves I bought because I couldn’t afford anything nicer.? Or those lights I bought and spent wayyy too much money on and it turns out I don’t really like them but I feel like I somehow should like them because of how much they cost.

These are not the stories I want to live in.

Changing the stories is dirty & exhausting work.

Literally, because I moved into the Dream Loft kind of early, so the construction crews kept coming into do more work which piled dust everywhere which I still find in corners and strange places when I move things.

But mostly emotionally as I confront each story and choose a different ending for it.

Which includes sometimes falling into the old stories which is kind of dangerous.? I’ve got a lot of sad stories and a lot of stories where I was not very powerful.

I’ve cleared out so many of these stories over the past decade.? But it’s obnoxious how these little story fragments can hang on and stay alive after a decade of no air.

I’m building extra-strong time boundaries that keep me in the present and keep the stories in the past as I pick them up, dust them off, and send them off to their new homes.? But sometimes boundaries fail.

I have a whole bunch of work to do.

I have a few new projects that are jumping up and down and begging me to play with them.? But I need to do this part first: to create space for the new me who can successfully bring those projects to life.

The bigger the new project or dream or change of any kind you want to invite into your life, the more space you need to make for it.? If it would fit in your life as it is, it would already be there.

I’ve been having a hard time with fall,? and because of that I am trying to be more conscientious about enjoying and appreciating fall.? So far I’m having these pockets of loving fall, and pockets of being sad about summer coming to an end.

Right now I’m curled up in my orange velour sweatpants, drinking a lavender tea latte and kind of in love with the gifts of cooler weather.

I’m also in love with that productivity energy that sweeps in in September.? This was a big week.

A few weeks ago in my updates I was talking about meeting the dragon and getting to know the dragon and how it can help me be more powerful.? The dragon was helping me get bigger and see things from a bigger perspective, including thinking bigger about my work and my dreams.

I feel like I have gotten a lot better at the art of being really happy and satisfied and grateful where I am while also look forward to what’s next and being excited about bigger dreams.? That’s pretty cool.? I can play with the dragon without having that mean that I’m not 100% happy right where I am.

This week I moved the Creative Dream Circle to a new website.

This move was the solution to a myriad of big and small issues I had been having and it feels amazing to have all of that solved.

Ultimately, when I set the Creative Dream Circle up on a Ning site, Ning was making all sorts of problems about what was coming soon with their new platform, and those promises just didn’t pan out and the features I wanted just didn’t show up and the site was not as user-friendly as promised.

At the same time, some of my back-end integrations were no longer integrating smoothly.

There are about a million options for anything you want to do online, so I took my time exploring, I checked in with my intuition and the heart and soul of my business and the heart and soul of Creative Dream Circle about the best way to support the Circle members and me and my business and one solution became very clear: to move everything to Simplero.

It feels like moving from a tiny apartment into a big house.? There’s room to grow my family here.

This is how I am growing my capacity.

Dreams and capacity work hand in hand.? You have to have the capacity to hold what you want before you’re going to be able to hold it.

Your dream loves you.? If the weight of it will crush you, it won’t come to you. You need to grow your muscles and build your capacity to hold it first.

I’ve done a lot of muscle building and capacity growing this year.? I feel like I have steadily increased my capacity and as I’ve done that, the Circle has steadily grown.

Steady steps win the race. I’m feeling very much on track and happy with how everything is going.

PS: The Mandala Class starts inside the Creative Dream Circle on Monday!

I’m so grateful for these weekly updates to bring me back into connection with my dream, because I’m feeling very “Do I HAVE TO keep taking steps forward? Can’t I just enjoy where I am?” lately, which is a bullshit question.? You don’t choose between taking steps and enjoying where you are.? You do both.? And I made a commitment to myself and I’m going to keep it.

Earlier this week, I was hanging out with a friend who asked how a person makes time for their creativity.

That’s the wrong question.

Almost all of the questions that people ask about their dreams is the wrong question, because the questions are so LOADED with assumptions that are not true that you can’t get through all of that not-true to find what is true.

I think of them as monster questions.? Any time you spend with them just keeps you away from having what you really want.

That’s where I am right now – tempted to dive into the monster questions.

But instead of hanging out with the monster questions, I just sat with the Creative Dream update journaling prompts.? I didn’t even answer them, I just sat with them and it all became clear.

Some parts of building a dream include showing up every day and working hard until you’re through that part.? That’s where I am right now.? I have a project that includes about a billion steps.

I want to do this project.? Everything I want to do next is built on this.

But I’m being a baby about doing the actual work.? This desire to dive into the monster questions is really just resistance to being a grown up, showing up and doing the work.

Every creativity expert agrees: you have to show up and do the work.

Amateurs wait for inspiration, professionals show up and do the work, every day.

Right now it’s hard for me, but I’m showing up anyway.

Yesterday I shared a bit from my journal about how I was working through the overwhelm.? I’m going to explore this more during next week’s Creative Genius Planning Session and find a way to find my way through this GIANT PROJECT with as little overwhelm as possible.

But beneath all of that – my dream is sparkling.? The Circle continues to grow.? I’m inspired and excited about what’s coming next.

This week was pretty amazing.? I kept working with the dragon that I uncovered last week.

A little while ago I got this amazing new Moleskine journal that contains one (crazy long) sheet of heavyweight paper that is accordion folded into 48 pages.

I bought it because I thought it would be perfect for making my Treasure Maps, so they could go on and on and on discovering treasure after treasure.

But after I met this dragon last week, I decided to use this journal to write out the dragon’s story.? I’ve been spending time with it every day, for at least an hour – meeting with the dragon, finding out more about what it has to tell/teach/show me and recording it all in my art journal.

(For Creative Dream Circle members – I’m using the Un-Sticking Station to do this.? Even though the dragon is not a “stuck” it’s the same process.)

As I shared last week, this started when I met the heart and soul of my dream and it was a big bird trapped in a small cage.? After doing intuitive healing work with it, the cage dissolved and the bird turned into a dragon.

The dragon is all about helping me see things from a bigger perspective and being more powerful.

So I’m meeting with the dragon every day to integrate the energy and lessons that the dragon has for me.? I can feel things shifting inside of me that I can’ t quite understand with my head, just yet.

I love this dragon though.? I love that it’s so patient with me, and keep showing me the same things in new ways.? Because the dragon doesn’t want to just teach, show or tell me stuff – it’s here to help transform me into who I need to be next to keep growing into my bigger dreams.

Growing into a bigger and more powerful part of you is not exactly a comfortable process.? It’s amazing but it’s also awkward and vulnerable.? So as I work with every reaction that comes up for me a new piece of the story falls into place.

So I’m giving this inner process a lot of space.? This way my intuition leads me towards what is next, instead of my ego or logical mind or inner critics telling me what to do.

My ego, logical mind and inner critics are not happy about this, they do like to be in charge.

But even my ego, logical mind and inner critics think that the ideas that are coming out of this inner process are really, really good ideas – which is amazing.

I’m looking at making some changes in my business that I’m pretty excited about.? I’m also feeling more grounded and powerful in my business, which is awesome.

This week’s update is a little different than usual. First because big things happened in my inner relationship with my dream.? Second because I recorded 21 videos for the new Mandala Class and now I’m editing them all, which is more computer time than I am used to, so I need to keep this short to give myself a technology break.

Earlier this week when meeting with the heart and soul of my dream (this is in my free Give Your Dream Wings class, and I go more in-depth about how to connect with the heart and soul of your dream in Module Two of the Creative Dream Incubator, in the Creative Dream Circle) the heart and soul of my dream came to me in a totally new way.

It was a bird.

A big bird, in a small cage.

I spent a few days bringing the bird into the Un-Sticking Station in the Creative Dream Circle (where we use intuitive healing to un-stick ANYTHING that feels stuck) and learned all about the bird and the cage and what qualities I would need to dissolve the cage (creativity, love and possibility).

Once I dissolved the cage, the bird turned into a dragon.

A POWERFUL dragon who has SO MANY dreams and ideas and oozes inspiration and BIG-ness.

At first working with the dragon felt intimidating and I wanted to cry about how inept I felt around the dragon and how I don’t know how to even make space for it.? I started journaling out the dragon’s story (in my crazy amazing Japanese Album Moleskine)

And it made me feel not good enough.

So I went back to the Un-Sticking Station and worked with my not good enough feelings.

And the not ready feelings.

And the don’t know how feelings.

And then I quickly fell in love with the dragon.

It’s definitely here because I’m ready for some big new stuff and the dragon and I are working on some pretty awesome new plans.

Right now my next steps are all about spending time with the dragon, recording the dragon’s story (and learning the dragon’s story while I do this) and getting better at letting the dragon tell me how to do things.

This week I don’t really want to do an update, which probably means that it’s more important than usual that I do one.

So I’m going back to the creative journal prompts for staying on track with your dreams for some help getting going.

My dream is:

I want it because:

When I have it I will feel:

My dream is: In this moment I can’t say what my dream is.? I feel all sorts of annoyance and frustration about this.

I decide to zoom back and look at the bigger picture.? In the grand scheme of things, my dream is to create a life that feels true to me, that allows me to be me and to keep growing into who I want to be next, a life that supports the unfolding of my creative and spiritual potential.

When I see it that way, it’s ok to not know what specific dream I want to work on right now.? I’m on a big journey and some parts will be foggy.

I want it because: Anything else feels like I’m betraying myself.

When I have it I will feel: Oh, this is what’s stuck.

I want to say that when I have it I will feel happy and free and blissfully in the moment in every moment.? Of course this is not how life works.? And it’s in living with what we don’t want that we get clear on what we do want.? Discomfort can create new creative opportunities.? This is what life on earth is all about.

Remembering that, when I have it I will feel sure.? And I don’t feel sure this week.

Well that is interesting.

If my dream is to feel sure, that feels true and that feels like it changes things.

Past me created a schedule for 2014 of classes that I would create for the Creative Dream Circle.? This schedule was really important to past me.? And it has felt like the perfect container for growth.

But present me is a little tired of the schedule.? Present me wants more space for inspiration to swoop in and send her in new directions.? Present me is starting to feel a bit like this is a hamster wheel of productivity.

Present me also hates admitting that because present me is also ridiculously grateful that this is her job, and also inspired and happy about the classes themselves, and she wants to make them.

It’s just that she doesn’t feel that she has a SAY in whether or not she makes them, which she doesn’t because past me made that decision for her.

So present me would be perfectly happy doing this work if she felt it was her choice to do the work.

Remembering now HOW I created this schedule – past me absolutely did check in with future me (now present me).? Future me knew that she’d be kind of tired by now and would need a bit of a break but that this was also the right way to go this year.? Future me (now present me) was excited about creating these classes.

Also, this “I’m tired” thing is actually bullshit.? I’m not tired.? I don’t need a break. ? Every time I feel like I need a break I actually need a new attitude.? (Because the truth is I take breaks every time I need them.? But when I go around feeling like I need a break no matter how many breaks I have – it’s not about needing a break)

Oh boy, I can see why I didn’t want to write an update this week.? It feels like I’ve opened up a can of worms.? But the can needed opening, I was suffocating in there.

I’m not tired because of my actual workload.? I’m tired because of the expectations I place on myself.

I’m tired thinking about what’s next.? Meanwhile I have all the time and space I need right now to do what’s right now.

I feel like this can go on for quite some time, but I’m going to move onto the next questions:

What happened in the last week?

How do I feel about this?

What do I need now?

What does my dream need now?

Taking all of this into account, my next mission is:

What happened? I started this week on the highest possible high.? Last week 30 new people joined the Circle! I’m excited about the Mandala class I’m creating!? I’m crazy happy with these sundresses I’ve been making!? I’m riding my bike!? Life is amazing!

And then – well I wrote yesterday about resentment.? I’ve been feeling pretty tangled up.

Partly because it’s just that time of the month when everything kind of sucks.

Partly because I started working on the new Mandala class and starting new things brings up a lot of stuff.? Though I worked through SO MUCH of that stuff and am making steady progress now.

Creating anything new is about growing into the you-who-did-the-thing.? And inner growth is not always comfortable.? That kind of explains this week.

How do I feel about this?? I feel annoyed that this isn’t easier for me by now.

What do I need now? Ease.

What does my dream need now? For me to be more present with it.

Taking all of this into account, my next mission is: to set up stronger containers next week.

Strong, study, nurturing containers for getting-things-done-in-a-state-of-joy-ness.

I’ll experiment with this on Monday, but I’m seeing more time spent with creativespiritual practices, a stricter schedule and more quiet time in the evenings.

Thank you, update!

I feel like I was dragged kicking and screaming to do this this week, but I am so glad I did.? I feel like I’m back on solid ground and am very grateful for the study container for growing dreams that the weekly updates create.

 

This week I have very little to report.? After seven months of taking a million small steps and transforming fear and dealing with inner ciritcs and making steady progress – everything feels good.

Most of my energy went into preparing for and then recovering from The Magic Journal tele-class on Tuesday. There were some big big energy shifts happening in that class, and it takes a lot of energy to create that kind of experience for people, so it really does take me all week to do a 90 minute class and it really is worth it!

I don’t think people talk enough about that, about the kind of energy it takes to put a truly transformational event together and how much space you need afterwards, as the facilitator, for both recovery and integration.

When I first started doing this kind of work I didn’t realise how much recovery and integration time I needed after.? These days I’m happy that I schedule it in.

I’m exploring ideas for what I want to do next with the Circle. Now that we are nearing 200 members it feels like we’ve got a more solid platform, and that somehow there is more we can do now.

All of the new classes that I added this year (Three Creative Journal Classes: Love Your Life, The Magic Journal and The Superhero Journal, the Mandala Class, the Inspiration Cards Class and the Peaceful Happy Holiday Season Class) were things I really wanted to Circle to have as it grew.

Once I’m finished adding these things, it feels like a whole new world of possibilities opens up for what to do next.

So, right now I’m very excited about that.

This week was amazing.

I started (last Friday afternoon) with a epic 35 km (22 mile) bike ride along the river, then through a park, a forest, a meadow and a marsh.? I even saw a herd of bison.

Back when I decided to sell my car and not get a new one because it didn’t feel right, I didn’t know what I would do come summer.? I looked forward to walking instead of driving in fall and winter and spring, but the thought of walking for several hours a day in the summer heat did NOT sound fun.

Getting this bike didn’t just solve the problem of how to get around enjoyably in the summer, it opened up a whole new world for me.? Which is what ALL creative dreams do.

So, the epic bike ride set the stage for an amazing week, which included hosting a free creative journal class: Get Your [creative] MAGIC On.

And lots of tiny creative adventures.

 

Over the past week I have done a lot of things that needed doing, that I had been procrastinating for a long time, mostly because they were annoying and I didn’t want to do them.

Having a whole bunch of annoying tasks piled up and waiting for you doesn’t feel very good.

And while doing annoying things is annoying, there is also a tinge of feeling really good about finally doing the thing and then the amazing feeling of having the annoying thing DONE and behind you.

In fact, I’ve only got one more such task (renewing my passport, which becomes more important by the day as I do want to get away this winter) and then I will have NO annoying tasks waiting for me.

So that feels really, really good.

One of the annoying tasks was selling my old stuff.? My old iPhone and MacBook had been sitting un-used for a long time.? A few months back I started by clearing all of my stuff off of both and restoring them to their factory settings.? But I kept delaying putting them up for sale.? I finally did that this week.

Now that they’re sold I’m noticing how much more SPACE there is.? I mean a laptop and a phone don’t take up a lot of room but each time I saw them a part of me remembered that I was procrastinating on selling them which was starting to take up more and more emotional space.

(Just like now, every time I remember that I can’t just pick up and leave the country because my passport is expired – it creates an energetic stuck.)

It’s nice to have a small wad of cash sitting in the Dream Loft, instead of that laptop and phone.? (My sister and I have a Sister Shopping Day planned for today, so I’m taking my wad of cash to IKEA and the fabric store)

That feels like where I’m at with this dream, too -? a lot of the tasks are done and behind me.

Building a business is a big job!? I’ve been at this, in one way or another, for 18 years.

Of course, that includes a lot of years of being a starving artist and experimenting with different ways of how to make a living as a creative person.? While I don’t believe there is an easy way, I also don’t believe you have to take 18 years.? My path had a lot of detours and curlyques.

I’m at a point now where the pieces are in place and my business works – it feels stable and steady.

I’m enjoying my work, I feel fulfilled and inspired and happy and I have space to do the non-work things I want to do and I’m happy with my income.?? I also want to recognize that this is huge and amazing and I am very grateful to be here.

I also want to be looking at what’s next.

And, if you’ve been reading my updates you know, I’m kind of done with looking at hitting a specific number of members in the Circle being my what’s next.? I’m not feeling inspired by that.? And I love the way the Circle is growing and it doesn’t feel like that needs so much attention.

So, when it comes to my business and my dreams: what does need my attention?? Or what wants my attention?? Or what do I want to be giving my attention to?

What’s what I’m exploring now.

Which is funny that I mentioned my expired passport in the first part of writing this because one of the things I want to explore is how to travel more as a self-employed person.? I’ve been able to go away once a year so far, which I think is awesome, and I’d like to increase that.? I’ve also shyed away from even thinking about longer trips because of how I am impacted by jet-lag.

I’m remembering that it took me 2 weeks to feel human again after coming back from Istanbul.? I remember that every time I think of going back (which is something I really want to do, I love Turkey) and I just don’t know how that is going to work with being a self-employed person.

When I had a job it was ok to be a bit of a zombie once in a while, but I need to be 100% on for my coaching sessions.? But what do I do about income if I take a whole month off from coaching?? That’s the kind of stuff to be sorted out, I know there’s a way I just don’t know what it is.

“I just don’t know how that’s going to work” can hold up a dream forever, if you let it.

It’s always kind of amazing when I have a client come to me with that exact issue, and if I help them hold a light to the situation (and gently keep the light there even when their inner critics are screaming at them to turn it off) that we can start to find all sorts of ways that it can work.

There are always ways, but you have to stay present with the questions long enough to get at the answers.

So that’s what I am going to do next.? Shine that light and keep it shining and take a look at how I want my life to change as my business continues to grow.

I’ve also been shifting how I do my work and how my business functions behind the scenes, to increase capacity in all areas. Kind of the digital equivalent to selling old things that were collecting dust in the Dream Loft and making space for new better-suited-to-me-now things.

This is going astonishingly well!? I spent a lot of time earlier this year feeling stressed out about capacity and resistant to stretching it, because it felt like stretching ME.? But, I am finding the opposite is true.? With the right tools, capacity can grow without me being or feeling stretched.

In fact, I actually feel more spaciousness and more cared-for-ness.

How amazing is that?? That is a pattern that has been slowing me down for many years.? It feels like that’s a big part of why growing the Creative Dream Circle doesn’t feel like a big huge deal anymore – the systems are in place and all I have to do it let it keep growing.

So this is opening up new worlds of possibility which I want to explore next, things like writing a novel and learning about how I can support art therapy initiatives in war zones.

I’m feeling super creatively engaged with my life and excited about what comes next.

 

This update series started because I had a big goal for what I wanted to do with my business in 2014, so I made a decision to write an update every Friday for all of 2014 to share all of the ups and downs of the process of bringing a big dream to life.

As I shared last week, I want to change how I do these updates.? I’m at that phase of having this vague sense of wanting to do these differently, but not seeing how, exactly, I want to do them.? I thought I knew, but now I’m not sure.

When I’m struggling with something, or actively working on building something then of course I end up with more stories to share.? I’m not feeling like I have a lot of stuff to work through right now, I’m mostly enjoying in the magic of being where I am (which is pretty freaking cool).

The Creative Dream Circle is growing steadily.? I’ve got new clients coming in steadily.? This week I really hit that balance of getting great work done and playing with new art projects and sewing and enjoying nature and taking good care of myself.

When we set out to reach a big dream, we always have fears (that we’re not good enough, that we’ll fail, that we’ll succeed then everything will change, that people will discover we’re a fraud, etc) and limiting beliefs about ourselves and about life that make the dream feel impossible.

As we clear up that inner stuff, our outer perspective changes.? Most dreams change dramatically during this process.

Right now, when I connect with the heart and soul of my dream I am met with fireworks in my heart that explode this amazing feeling throughout my body.? This is a big shift and a big deal!

It’s happening INSIDE me, there isn’t this big unknowable chasm between me and it.? There isn’t even any space.? We’re together.

So now I’m at a stage where I’ve cleared a lot of fear and doubt.? Everything feels open and what I want is flowing to me at the exact right pace.

Not to say I won’t come across more layers of stuff to clear, but right now I can’t say how much I love being where I am.? Besides the occasional and totally natural fear, this week has been pure delight.

(And I am even in LOVE with sharing the stories of transforming fear into amazingly helpful things, like I did yesterday, which makes me actually happy when the fear pops up)

 

I hope you’ll join me next week for the LIVE FREE class on Tapping Into Your Magic.? You. Me. A worldwide community of dreamers. Journals. Creativity. Magic.? The ultimate recipe for a good time.

Last week’s Treasure Mapping class has left it’s mark on me.

The way I teach dreaming, every move you make with your dream is an act of healing.? Working with your dream brings you deeper into who you really are.

False identities and limiting beliefs dissolve as you allow more of who you really are to shine through.? This is the path to the dream – becoming the you who lives the dream, from the inside out.

I’m in the middle of a big step with that, and a lot of things are changing for me.? Writing these weekly updates is one of the things that’s changing.

As you start to grow into the you who lives your dream, your perspective on things changes – these updates were grounding and helpful for me before and now they feel superfluous.

Thing 1: this doesn’t feel like “the BIG dream” anymore because I see it in reach.? Regardless of how long it takes to get there, I feel like I’m in the boat and the current is bringing me in.? And I can paddle, or turn on the motor, or just go with the flow – whatever I want.? Right now I’m lying in the boat, staring up at the clouds because I love clouds.

I’m enjoying the journey and excited about the destination.

Thing 2: in the last six months I’ve grown a lot.? I’ve done a lot of work to shift my perspective around growing my business, I’ve explored all sorts of new things.? I’ve met new fears and tangoed with old ones.? I’m not the same person who made the decision to start writing these updates.

Thing 3: a new dream is emerging which is all about how I’m relating to my dreams right now.

So I want to share in a different way.

At first, I was writing these updates to help me sort out my steps, and to share the process publicly because I think too few people do that – share the honest actual story as it’s happening.? When you look back and share – that changes the story.

Now it’s become less of a broadcast (me telling my story) and more of a circle (using my updates to open up the weekly sharing circle inside the Creative Dream Circle) and the big magic comes from everyone sharing their stories together.

And next I want the way that I’m approaching the updates to change.? But my idea of how I want to do this differently is so new I’m not ready to share it.

The magic of JEALOUSY

Instead, I’ll share that I have been incredibly jealous of someone lately.

Also inspired by them and happy for them but also very much jealous.? And I forgot that jealousy is an important tool in your creative dreamer toolkit.

(If jealousy is something you struggle with click that link!)

When I finally listened to my jealousy of course it was saying – hey dude, why don’t YOU do the thing that you are jealous that they are going to do?

When I talked to the friend I was jealous of, it turns out that he wasn’t sure he wanted to do the thing anyway.? It was me, wanting him to do the thing.? And he thought it was an ok idea but he was inspired by other things.

It was mine all along.

This makes me happy, and also afraid, because the thing I want to do is new, and would stretch me in new ways, and that’s always scary (at least in the beginning).

I spent the day at the beach by myself yesterday.

That is my favourite place to work on acclimating to my dream.? I went there because I felt like I had a lot of acclimating to do, and then it turned out that I didn’t.

I just needed to recognize how much I’ve grown into this dream already.? And notice how I ready I am to keep going.? And how capable I am of figuring out ways to do this that nurture and support both me and my dreams.

This feels really good.